#w

A forty-foot worm?" Will muttered to Jem as they moved through the Italian garden, their boots-thanks to a pair of soundless runes-making no noise on the gravel. "Think of the size of the fish we could catch." Jem's lips twitched. "It's not funny, you know." "It is a bit." "You cannot reduce the situation to worm jokes, Will. This is Gabriel and Gideon's father we're discussing." "We're not just discussing him; we're chasing him through an ornamental sculpture garden because he's turned into a worm." "A demonic worm," said Jem, pausing to peer cautiously around a hedgerow. "A great serpent. Would that help your inapropriate humor?" "There was a time where my inapropriate humor brought you a certain amusement," sighed Will. "How the worm has turned." "Will- ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jem-carstairs #will-herondale #funny

I wondered what he would have thought if he'd known that I'd gleaned most of my information from reading historical romance novels. ↗

— Nicole Luiken

#humor #wit #humor

Don't worry about it; only worry about how people like her breed. ↗

— Gasmaskman

#humor #sarcasm #witty #humor

Out of curiosity, when do I grow up and become a fullfledged man with a penis?” “When words like ‘hump day’ don’t make you giggle like a twelve-year-old,” he retorted, blowing smoke my way. “Wow, that long? ↗

— Dani Alexander

#growing-up #humor #hump-day #humor

Even more blood welled up and spilled down his arm, splattering onto the ground. “Camille’s carpet,” Magnus protested. “It’s blood,” said Will. “She ought to be thrilled. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#camille-belcourt #humor #magnus-bane #will-herondale #humor

People who entered the Courtyard without an invitation were just plain crazy! Wolves were big and scary and so fluffy, how could anyone resist hugging one just to feel all that fur? “Ignore the fluffy,” she muttered. “Remember the part about big and scary. ↗

— Anne Bishop

#humor #werewolves #wolves #humor

New rules. If you are smart enough to live, you won’t hit Charles’s mate in front of his father. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#anna-cornick #bran-cornick #charles-cornick #cry-wolf #defense

What's going on?" Newt asked, looking back and forth between Thomas and Aris. "Why're you guys looking at each other like you just fell in love? ↗

— James Dashner

#humor #newt #thomas #humor

Bes had indeed put on his ugly outfit. He climbed onto the roof of the limbo and stood there, legs planted, arms akimbo, like superman-exept with only the underwear. I wasn't sure what to say except: "Put some clothes on!" "These children are under my protection," Bes insisted. "I don't know you," I said, "I never met you before today." "Nonsense. You expressly asked for my attention." "I didn't ask for the Speedo Patrol! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#bes #humor #sadie-kane #humor

No,” said Hermione shortly. “Have either of you seen my copy of Numerology and Gramatica?” “Oh, yeah, I borrowed it for a bit of bedtime reading,” said Ron, but very quietly. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#hermione-granger #humor #out-of-character #quips #ron-weasley