#war

There’s nothing funny about war. Well, aside from this joke Orafoura told me: What did WWI say to WWII? I wish I could tell you the punch line, but the restaurant was so noisy that I didn’t hear it. But I laughed anyway, because I’ll bet it was pretty funny. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #war #wwi #wwii #funny

And now you're off to Port Caynn. Watch them sailor lads. They'll have your skirts up and a babe in your belly afore you know what you're about." "Everyone keep warning me about sailors," I complained. "Why can't someone tell the sailors to stay clear of me?" Granny snorted. "Oh, you're the fierce one now! Just take care no one else catches you unawares and knocks you on the nob! ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#grandmother #humor #men #sailors #sex

All those who love Nature she loves in return, and will richly reward, not perhaps with the good things, as they are commonly called, but with the best things of this world-not with money and titles, horses and carriages, but with bright and happy thoughts, contentment and peace of mind. ↗

— John Lubbock

#nature #reward #love

We think we don't deserve love, we think if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man named Levine said it right. He said." Love is the only rational act. ↗

— Morrie Schwartz

#morrie-schwartz #tuesdays-with-morrie #love

Infuriated, I scrambled over him, even more furious when I saw the humored glint in his eyes. "God you tick me off." "Well at least I got you--" "Don't even finish that statement! ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#jennifer-armentrout #katy-swartz #opal #the-lux-series #humor

I'm against all war. ↗

— Puff Daddy

#i #war

Ah, you coward! Look at you, running." "Actually, it's called improvising. ↗

— Jonathan Stroud

#humor #improvising #humor

Bes had indeed put on his ugly outfit. He climbed onto the roof of the limbo and stood there, legs planted, arms akimbo, like superman-exept with only the underwear. I wasn't sure what to say except: "Put some clothes on!" "These children are under my protection," Bes insisted. "I don't know you," I said, "I never met you before today." "Nonsense. You expressly asked for my attention." "I didn't ask for the Speedo Patrol! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#bes #humor #sadie-kane #humor

Warning: Contains old friends, old enemies, a dramatic cat rescue, soft drink references and a lot of teasing before the steamy sex. Readers are cautioned against drinking any beverage while reading to avoid accidental snorting or spraying of said beverages. ↗

— K.A. Mitchell

#k-a-mitchell #warning #humor

The joke was that President Bush only declared war when Starbucks was hit. You can mess with the U.N. all you want, but when you start interfering with the right to get caffeinated, someone has to pay. ↗

— Chris Kyle

#american #bush #caffeine #coffee #humor