#wat

Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand? ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor

My hobby is extreme Catholic behavior -- BEFORE the Reformation. ↗

— John Waters

#catholic #eccentric #extreme #humor #john-waters

Rorshach's journal. October 16, 1985. Been waiting in Moloch's fridge for three hours. Ate two raw eggs and packet of honey mustard sauce. Just realized I am sitting on baking soda. Freezing ass off. Really have to take leak. ↗

— Alan Moore

#humor #rorshach #watchmen #humor

All right. Let's give you something to tell your grandkids about. Or great-grandkids. Or great-great-grandkids." I snort with glee, delirious with excitement. Charlie winks and pours me another finger's worth of whiskey. Then, on second thought, he tips the bottle again. I reach out and grab its neck. "Better not," I say. "Don't want to get tipsy and break a hip. ↗

— Sara Gruen

#water-for-elephants #humor

I spend a lot of time saving time. I have a filing cabinet full of clocks and watches. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #time #watches #humor

I want to laugh hysterically into a bucket of water, have my humor imprinted on each water molecule and then drink the funniest drink ever. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#water #humor

He was sitting not far away, watching me, and I surprised a smile on his face, the first real smile I had ever seen him give, a smile that curved and softened the tight mouth, and warmed the ice-cool eyes; a smile that brought the blood to my face and made my heart turn over. ↗

— Juliet Marillier

#red #romance #sevenwaters #sorcha #love

Do you have a Wish?' he asked, referring to this organization, The Genie Foundation, which is in the business of granting sick kids one wish. 'No' I said. 'I used my Wish pre-Miracle.' 'What'd you do?' I sighed loudly. 'I was thirteen,' I said. 'Not Disney,' he said. I said nothing. 'You did not go to Disney World.' I said nothing. 'HAZEL GRACE!' he shouted. 'You did not use your one dying Wish to go to Disney World with your parents.' 'Also Epcot Center,' I mumbled. 'Oh, my God,' Augustus said. 'I can't believe I had a crush on a girl with such cliché wishes. ↗

— John Green

#disney-world #hazel-grace #the-fault-in-our-stars #business

Society is like a large piece of frozen water; and skating well is the great art o social life. ↗

— Letitia Elizabeth Landon

#frozen #great #great art #large #life

I truly, truly believe that beauty is something that comes from within. ↗

— Emma Watson

#beauty