#wedding

Every bride and groom in the history of civilization has gained weight after their wedding day. It is only a matter of time until archaeologists unearth a married caveman who's wearing a pair of old tux pants that were so tight he couldn't get the zipper closed. ↗

— Peter Scott

#wedding #weight #marriage

Oh! How many torments lie in the small circle of a wedding-ring! ↗

— Colley Cibber

#matrimony #wedding-ring #marriage

Hey wedding DJ, there is no way in hell I'm paying you $1,000 when all you're doing is plugging your iPod into the sound system #AHOLE ↗

— Andy Ostrom

#dance #dj #etiquette #marriage #wedding

Novels are written word by word. If you can write a word, and then another word, you can write a novel—assuming your novel will be two words long. Here’s a two-word romance novel: I do. It’s also a murder mystery.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #marriage #murder #murder-mystery #mystery

I hate parties. And a wedding is the biggest party of all. All the guests arrived and Orpheus is taking a shower. He's always taking a shower when the guests arrive so he doesn't have to greet them. Then I have to greet them. A wedding is for daughters and fathers. The mothers all dress up, trying to look like young women. But a wedding is for a father and daughter. They stop being married to each other on that day. I always thought there would be more interesting people at my wedding. ↗

— Sarah Ruhl

#frustration #play #relationships #weddings #relationship

There's a higher form of happiness in commitment. I'm counting on it. ↗

— Claire Forlani

#commitment #counting #form #happiness #higher

One tradition I have with my friends is that when one of us gets married, we have a ton of fragrance oils and pretty bottles at the bachelorette party. Everyone puts a drop or two in a bottle for the bride and makes a wish, and the bride wears our creation on her wedding day. ↗

— Jennifer Aniston

#bottles #bride #creation #day #drop

In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again. We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring. ↗

— Enid Bagnold

#again #ageless #ancient #beneath #child

My grandfather Frank Lloyd Wright wore a red sash on his wedding night. That is glamour! ↗

— Anne Baxter

#frank lloyd wright #glamour #grandfather #his #lloyd

A wedding is such a girl thing. ↗

— Selma Blair

#girl #such #thing