#wood

I've always thought people would find a lot more pleasure in their routines if they burst into song at significant moments. ↗

— John Barrowman

#happiness #humor #music #humor

Basia coquum," Simon said. "Or whatever their motto is." "It's 'Descensus Averno facilis est.' 'The descent into hell is easy," said Alec. "You just said "Kiss the cook." "Dammit," said Simon. "I knew Jace was screwing with me. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #simon-lewis #humor

If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up. ↗

— Woody Allen

#humor #organized-religion #religion #woody-allen #humor

You're a stalker with hooves." "I am not! I followed her to the Big House and hid in a bush and watched the whole thing. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #percy-jackson #stalker #humor

Bad news, Harry. I've just been to see Professor McGonagall about the Firebolt. She – er, got a bit shirty with me. Told me I'd got my priorities wrong. Seemed to think I cared more about winning the Cup than I do about staying alive. Just because I told her I didn't care if it threw you off, as long as you caught the Snitch first. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#oliver-wood #priority #quidditch #humor

Take off your shirt." Jace raised his eyebrows. "I'm not going to attack you," she said impatiently. "I can take the sight of your naked chest without swooning." "Are you sure?" he asked, obediently sliding the shirt off his shoulders. "Because viewing my naked chest has caused many women to seriously injure themselves stampeding to get to me. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-lost-souls #clary-fray #funny #humor #jace-lightwood

Don't worry, Beth; there's nothing I love more than a challenge. ↗

— Alexandra Adornetto

#xavier-woods #humor

I've just vowed my love for you. Have you nothing to say in return?" Duncan asked. "Thank you, husband. ↗

— Julie Garwood

#humor #julie-garwood #romance #humor

But-" Maia, still looking over at Alec and Magnus, broke off and raised her eyebrows. Simon turned to see what she was looking at- and stared. Alec had his arms around Magnus and was kissing him, full on the mouth. Magnus, who appeared to be in a state of shock, stood frozen. Several groups of people- Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike- were staring and whispering. Glancing to the side, Simon saw the Lightwoods, their eyes wide, gaping at the display. Maryse had her hand over her mouth. Maia looked perplexed. "Wait a second," she said. "Do we all have to do that, too? ↗

— Cassandra Clare City of Glass

#humor #love #magnus-bane #malec #humor

Clary?” Jace tilted his head to the side, studying her face. “You do—you still love me, don’t you?” “I love Jace Lightwood,” she said. “I don’t know who you are. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#the-mortal-instruments #love