#zo

Beth from accounting is just sitting in her car eating spaghetti. ↗

— Ryan Mecum

#humor #zombies #humor

So, you're telling me the zoo commissioned you to make a zombie panda in order to avoid a potential international incident. ↗

— Lish McBride

#necromancer #panda #sarcastic #zombie #humor

TANDAAN: mahirap mafriendzone, pero madali lang gumanti! ↗

— Ramon Bautista

#humor #love #humor

I think I remember what love was like before. There were complex emotional and biological factors. We had elaborate tests to pass, connections to forge, ups and downs and tears and whirlwinds. It was an ordeal, an exercise in agony, but it was alive. The new love is simpler. Easier. But small. ↗

— Isaac Marion

#humor #love #zombies #love

A good businessman must have nose for business the same way a journalist has nose for news. In places where people see a lot of obstacles, I see a lot of opportunities. A good businessman sees where others don’t see. ↗

— Orji Uzor Kalu

#abia-state #business #businessman #governor #journalism

On Christmas. "Santa Claus represents God on assistance," said Clyde. "Santa Claus is a negative-idealed god, the pagan god of material worship," Leon stated. "Christmas means the rebirth, regeneration. Some people have Christmas every day. The Christmas tree stands up and either the wife trims it or they trim it together with righteous-idealed sexual intercourse. Or the husband prays to God through his Christmas tree and trims his bodily Christmas tree. Christ-mast; the mast of Christ, the upstanding penis—that's what it means to me." "Santa Claus is a good symbolization for Christmas," said Joseph. "Department stores, shopping, the coming of the New Year. Christmas means better business in the stores. ↗

— Milton Rokeach

#psychoanalysis #santa-claus #schizophrenics #through-the-looking-glass #business

I’d once again see that bob of blonde hair back on my pillow, that pink hot smile beaming toward me as I heroically win her heart in some kind of Count of Monte Cristo or Great Gatsby-esque gesture… you know minus the long imprisonment or swimming pool death! ↗

— Tom Conrad

#apocalypse #end-of-the-world #gatsby #heroes #heroic

The smell was like chocolate and cookies and biscuits and gravy and everything else that was delicious. It damn near drove me crazy every time I had to touch one. I’d been fighting the cravings the way I’d never fought the urge to take drugs or get drunk. ↗

— Diana Rowland

#death

It looked like pieces of bread pudding that had been soaked in raspberry syrup. ↗

— Diana Rowland

#death

I pray to a God I don't really have faith in just so I feel like I have company. ↗

— Alex Adams

#faith