#zombies

I’d once again see that bob of blonde hair back on my pillow, that pink hot smile beaming toward me as I heroically win her heart in some kind of Count of Monte Cristo or Great Gatsby-esque gesture… you know minus the long imprisonment or swimming pool death! ↗

— Tom Conrad

#apocalypse #end-of-the-world #gatsby #heroes #heroic

She watched as the dancing lights of madness swirled and flickered in his eyes like the fires of hell, and she knew that there would never be anything that could quench those fires except death. Vanessa knew that Jango had become his own Grim Reaper. ↗

— Cedric Nye

#death #grim-reaper #hell #horror #madness

Can’t call ‘em zombies anymore,” sighed Manny. He seemed almost wistful. “Now we gotta be all politically correct. It’s like the Cold Wars never happened. ↗

— David S.E. Zapanta

#necrophobia #political-correctness #rebirth #undead #zombies

I turned on Fox News and jumped when I saw that they had one of those things in their studio. "Are you people crazy?" I screamed at the television. "Get out of there. Somebody shoot it!" Then I realized I was watching Special Report and had mistaken Charles Krauthammer for a zombie. ↗

— Ian McClellan

#media #political #politics #satire #zombies

Me agarro el estómago de nuevo. —Me siento vacío... Me siento...muerto. Él asiente. —Matri...monio. ↗

— Isaac Marion

#marriage-humor #r #r-and-julie #zombies #zombies-life

I went for the door and opened it, not wanting to see how much this corpse was willing to destroy to get into my bedroom. His body probably would’ve crumbled to pieces before he got in, and I had no clue how to get dead guy out of the carpet. ↗

— Kelly Hashway

#necromancers #paranormal-ya #zombies #death

You know, surprisingly, they don't sell a lot of brains in the local 24-hour grocery store around the corner from my house. ↗

— Rusty Fischer

#zombies #love

I was very athletic when I was younger and I am a very competitive person, so I never give up. ↗

— Izabella Scorupco

#going #just #keep #shooting #them

Then I had another one of my well-researched epiphanies. His constant use of Purell, his love of video games, his lack of friends, planet gazing, and flail-run. “You’re a zombie,” I gasped. “No. I’m not,” he said. I went back to the vampire theory. ↗

— Harvard Lampoon

#nightlight #parody #twilight #vampires #zombies

Blood is really warm, it's like drinking hot chocolate but with more screaming. ↗

— Ryan Mecum

#haiku #horror #humor #zombies #humor