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I’m addicted to trying to save the world. As a little autistic boy I endured extreme abuses. I responded by trying to be the best person I could.
My life is a shambles. I should be focused on my own life; instead I’m trying to help everyone else. I always wanted to be like Jesus; but am just a very defective human who honestly should not have been born. My parents both literally hated me. They told me that my whole life.
I learned you can’t just rationalize with irrational people in hopes they will change & do the right thing. I felt compelled during this pandemic to try to draw us all together. I used all sorts of tricks to try to get the two sides to meet in the middle. Stroke egos; hold out a carrot; point out their flaws & egos. Whatever felt like it might work. I’ve had conservatives & libs ask me to intervene before; because I was smart & neutral; but anerism damage has left me confused. I wonder if I’m doing any good. But I have seen my ideas used; & people helped. I’ve been thanked. But I also had someone e mail me & say they didn’t care if they were wrong & they hoped I’d die. I seem to stay on the edge of death; but I don’t actually die; so my disease will give them their wish, I just don’t know when.
I was working on the caronavirus & health care; but our nation has moved on from that. We don’t care about that issue anymore; so I’ve moved onto a serious issue; police brutality; & a silly issue, statues. Let’s start with the statues. As a Christian I know statues are idols. They are meaningless carved rocks. Stick them in a museum once people move on. So it’s the whole Grant; Columbus; Lee were slave owners debate. It should be easy. It’s history. People used to love these people because their grandpas fought in the war or whatever. Today most of us focus more on the flaws of these people. So move the statues. Put them in museums; on Civil War battlefields; or sell them to private collectors. Why are we all worked up about it. Move them to a more proper modern setting. Some of us don’t want a statue to a slave owner where we take our kids: driving down a road; going in a court house; etc. So put them in a proper setting. History belongs inside a museum. Some fought wars; so put them on a battlefield.
The other issue I’m working on is armed political protests. I think it’s insane. However; if others do it, I’ll try to address it. We have a problem in our media. They rarely do their job. They are supposed to tell us all the news; & in an unbiased way. We are supposed to each consume the news & draw our own conclusions. Instead; the media drives a narrative that will please a small target audience. It’s entertainment posing as news; aimed at selling ads & making $. I’m forced to consume all the extremes; then try to filter & assemble the actual truth.
For instance part of a city has been taken over. I’d hate to be a prisoner caught in there; but riots have left entire areas on there own anyways, so I don’t know if it’s worse. I would like to see great constraint shown. Unless they use violence don’t over react. That said; I’m pointing out how past administrations used deadly force to end such standoffs. I’m pointing out how media that cater to one extreme or the other cover such stories differently based on who the protestors are. I hope to convince the media they are inconsistent & that influences some in society, but I’m probably wasting my time.
In the end we need to start electing better human beings who want what’s best for all of us. I feel the media has helped create a situation where we elect dividers that enrich themselves by catering only to their voters at the expense of the other half. If we all worked together we could achieve so much more. But I seem to be the only one who sees that.
In the end I’m just trying to get everyone to love each other.
do you know that you have 2 invisible diaries that go where ever you go?
their names are
god and jesus
talk to them every day and every night
confess everything even embarrassing experiences they are always listening
if you do not wanna confess around people who can hear
do it in private like i do
an earthy diary cannot hear you, but they can hear you. an earthy diary cannot answer you, but they can answer you. an earthy diary cannot save you from hell but they can save you
before i became a christian i use to confess everything to diaries until one day it was stolen and my neighbors from georgia got all my confessions and disturbing fiction i was horrified but soon after that i discovered god and jesus and now i don't buy earthy diary's anymore or confess to them i confess everything ive done to god and his son during prayer and i ask their forgiveness
prayer is your diary and god is always listening
prayer is a much better diary because it cannot be stolen or read by other humans only god and jesus will know what you have done and your secrets will always remain secret
I don’t like preachers. They spread racism; classism, and homophobia. They teach members to push gay children out of families. Yet these fat divorced preachers run around looking at porn and hitting on other people’s wives. I used to work with one. I took great pleasure into proving to people he was misquoting the Bible and a sinner. Oh I know I’m a sinner too.
These slime set back and allow disabled children to be pushed out of their Church “if” the parents aren’t rich. They take nice vacations posed as humanitarian missions. They gave away your money to help. That’s fine. Staying for a fancy weeks vacation is not.
I really love listening to them pressure old people. Give us your stuff. Don’t give it to your children.
Oh I’m sure there are good preachers; but you don’t need a gas bag to reach Heaven; accept the Spirit; read the Bible, and be good.
If you find yourself thinking it’s ok to deny a gay person the right to buy a cake in a store, then your not serving God. Sure it’s a sin, but so is judging others. So is divorce. So is over eating. So is gossiping. If everyone who sins went to heck, Heaven would be a very empty place.
I’m not Jesus; but a lot more of you would make it to Heaven listening to me than most preachers, and even I wouldn’t listen to me.
If you must hurt someone else to serve God then your not serving God. In America it was push away the Irish. Then push away the blacks. Today it’s take a crap on the gays. Even our highest court does it. Christians can refuse to serve gays. It was once legal to refuse to serve blacks. To refuse to serve Irish. To refuse to serve Native Americans.
I myself am not gay. But I’ve tried to save children. It’s a terrible thing to try to talk a child out of suicide because a piece of shit preacher tells the parents they must force a gay child to be straight or that child will goto heck. That shit preacher cheats on his wife; steals from the Church; looks at porn; and hits on other people’s wives; but let’s push a child to suicide rather than accept the child being gay.
I say fuck those preachers. They can kiss my ass. They don’t speak for God. I say let’s love those little children.
If anyone doesn’t like what I say I don’t care. Who can shut me up? Oh I’ve had people try. No ones done it yet.
So fly your rainbow flags little ones. Love yourselves.
I had a preacher tell me I hurt gay people by defending them. They should suffer for their sins so they will sin no more. I told him your fat; ugly; smell bad; divorced; and judgmental, hope your ready for heck. He got very upset. I said I’m just trying to save your soul, God sent you a good man to show you your wicked ways. Repent and sin no more. Funny he didn’t like that. Basically ran from me and never wanted to speak to me again. The truth hurts I guess.
See I can talk about my crap because I own it. I don’t hide behind the Bible and use my faith to attack others.
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