Choose language

Forgot your password?

Need a Spoofbox account? Create one for FREE!

No subscription or hidden extras

Login

Confessions

God Confessions

Read the best #god confession stories


I am deeply in love with my dentist. I really denied it for the last couple of months, but there is no denying it now.
It started last year ~October. My semi annual appointment came up and when I went to the practice I learnt that my old dentist retired and his son took over. Oh my, was I blown away. He has this really intense green eyes that can stare right in your soul. Paired with the fact that he has to come close when looking at my teeth, feels just like a dream. He smells so nice as well...

For the last months I always tried to find ways to go there as often as I can. I even took it as far as hitting my jaw against a wall until one of my teeth broke off just to be able to go back.

I think I am obsessed. What you should know as well is that I am a guy, and I am fairly sure that this god of a dentist is not gay.
I have an appointment on Monday, and I can't wait to see him again!!


#obsessed   #dentist   #inlove   #love   #eyes   #god   #damn   #gay  


THANK GOD. I have been fishing all over the internet for over a year looking for my son.
I thought eventually he’d recognize his daddy. My baby just called me tonight.
COVID hit at just the right time to mess our relationship up long term. He’s suffered. Much of the world has. But he’s still out there. That means there’s hope. God is Good. I have fished and fished for over a year. Day and night. Trying to influence any form of media I could.
Thank You God. I finally had my son call me. Now if I can just reach him more. I pray that I do not make things worse.


#god   #son   #love   #hope   #thanks  


There are times that I choose to be blind and not accept the truth. I fell in love with someone and his name is Johnathan. I had loved him very much to be honest, I cannot explain how much too. But suddenly, I have felt really tired and kept waiting for him to love me like he used to. I feel sorry for myself because I know that I did not deserve to be hurt like that. I feel sorry because I told myself that I am not good enough. I feel sorry because I feel like I am forcing him to love me again even if he does not want to be in a relationship again with me.

I also got really tired of crying so much for him and I think he is the guy that gave me the most painful feeling I have felt in my life. The pain is still here, deep inside me. I feel a lot of pain. That is why I have changed too, I don't chat him "how are you" or talk about many things anymore and maybe it is also because he doesn't do it anymore to me. I also realized that I have to wake up from a dream. I got lost in a daydream where we will be together until we grow old, be successful together and have kids. I feel so ridiculous too in believing or waiting for a knight in shining armor to save me or make me happy but I now know that it does not exist.

I need to be very independent in my life and follow God and not wait on someone to be my knight and shining armor. I don't want to say that Johnathan is a bad guy even if he hurt me a lot. I want to treat him like a lesson, the pain that he gave me, it made me more mature and more dependent to God. Johnathan, thank you very much.


#surrender   #god  


I am 15 years old, I recently sinned the same way I did last year at the exact place. I was staying at my cousins house for the holidays I was horny one night and started to watch porn and got very aroused by a video and started to masturbate above my clothes, I ejaculated on my cousins pull out bed under his covers I feel so much guilt and I know that I should not have done it I only seek forgiveness for this and that I will never do this again may God forgive me of my sin and bless me with the strength to resist my urge


#bornsinner   #godforgiveme   #porn  


yeh I believe there has been a turning point and god is angry and avenging. karma is after them. karma is out to get oprah and she knows it and she can't do a thing about it. she knows god is angry and after her for all the bad shit she done. same with all the elites and famous rich and you don't think all the crimes of royals and how they have robbed people out of their homes and stolen relationships is not gonna come out soon too. gods angry man. you better believe it. gods dam seriously angry at all these rich slits and scuzzy people parading around in riches while the poor suffer without jobs and these fling-a-lings are rolling around in merc's and jags and roof diamond stud cars and kids that glow in the dark, genetic engineered kids. all the gays marriages is a turning point for a sign of "let's just wait when they cry battered gay syndrome and husband trans on trans battery and abuse" cuz those kids can't turn out normal with parents that rich and stupid. gods on a rampage you can feel it too! he's gonna come for their kids and everything and take something back to the poor. the turning point has started. its all in the alignment of the solar system and stars too. yeh I believe there has been a turning point and god is angry and avenging. karma is after them. karma is out to get oprah and she knows it and she can't do a thing about it. she knows god is angry and after her for all the bad shit she done. same with all the elites and famous rich and you don't think all the crimes of royals and how they have robbed people out of their homes and stolen relationships is not gonna come out soon too. gods angry man. you better believe it. gods dam seriously angry at all these rich slits and scuzzy people parading around in riches while the poor suffer without jobs and these fling-a-lings are rolling around in merc's and jags and roof diamond stud cars and kids that glow in the dark, genetic engineered kids. all the gays marriages is a turning point for a sign of "let's just wait when they cry battered gay syndrome and husband trans on trans battery and abuse" cuz those kids can't turn out normal with parents that rich and stupid. gods on a rampage you can feel it too! he's gonna come for their kids and everything and take something back to the poor. the turning point has started. its all in the alignment of the solar system and stars too.


#gods   #angry  


I just lured our cat which lived over 10 years with us, into the car and left her somewhere in the woods. I know it sounds cruel but she just bothered us anymore with all the hair she lost and she only wanted to be fed with human food.
I know that's not an excuse for being such a heartless person but we just didn't have another way out.
Please god, forive us.


#cat   #woods   #car   #bother   #food   #excuse   #heartless   #forgiveness   #god  


I don’t like preachers. They spread racism; classism, and homophobia. They teach members to push gay children out of families. Yet these fat divorced preachers run around looking at porn and hitting on other people’s wives. I used to work with one. I took great pleasure into proving to people he was misquoting the Bible and a sinner. Oh I know I’m a sinner too.
These slime set back and allow disabled children to be pushed out of their Church “if” the parents aren’t rich. They take nice vacations posed as humanitarian missions. They gave away your money to help. That’s fine. Staying for a fancy weeks vacation is not.
I really love listening to them pressure old people. Give us your stuff. Don’t give it to your children.
Oh I’m sure there are good preachers; but you don’t need a gas bag to reach Heaven; accept the Spirit; read the Bible, and be good.
If you find yourself thinking it’s ok to deny a gay person the right to buy a cake in a store, then your not serving God. Sure it’s a sin, but so is judging others. So is divorce. So is over eating. So is gossiping. If everyone who sins went to heck, Heaven would be a very empty place.
I’m not Jesus; but a lot more of you would make it to Heaven listening to me than most preachers, and even I wouldn’t listen to me.
If you must hurt someone else to serve God then your not serving God. In America it was push away the Irish. Then push away the blacks. Today it’s take a crap on the gays. Even our highest court does it. Christians can refuse to serve gays. It was once legal to refuse to serve blacks. To refuse to serve Irish. To refuse to serve Native Americans.
I myself am not gay. But I’ve tried to save children. It’s a terrible thing to try to talk a child out of suicide because a piece of shit preacher tells the parents they must force a gay child to be straight or that child will goto heck. That shit preacher cheats on his wife; steals from the Church; looks at porn; and hits on other people’s wives; but let’s push a child to suicide rather than accept the child being gay.
I say fuck those preachers. They can kiss my ass. They don’t speak for God. I say let’s love those little children.
If anyone doesn’t like what I say I don’t care. Who can shut me up? Oh I’ve had people try. No ones done it yet.
So fly your rainbow flags little ones. Love yourselves.
I had a preacher tell me I hurt gay people by defending them. They should suffer for their sins so they will sin no more. I told him your fat; ugly; smell bad; divorced; and judgmental, hope your ready for heck. He got very upset. I said I’m just trying to save your soul, God sent you a good man to show you your wicked ways. Repent and sin no more. Funny he didn’t like that. Basically ran from me and never wanted to speak to me again. The truth hurts I guess.
See I can talk about my crap because I own it. I don’t hide behind the Bible and use my faith to attack others.


#faith   #bible   #religion   #jesus   #god   #homosexuality   #disability   #hope   #preacher   #forgiveness  


I´m really worried about her the addictions gotten really bad and she dumped me because i wouldnt let her call the dealer for more rocks and pills so now the last person i had left just got taken away from me by drugs.


#goddamnit   #nobodyleft   #alone   #lonelyfuck   #fuckass   #shesgone  


I don't know what God wants. I should have died. God seemed to pull me back from death. My body just shut down.
Now what? I have no home. My ex-wife can't decide if she wants me. All my kids have gone from well behaved honor students to being depressed & struggling at everything. Same for my ex. Yet they don't seem to want me back. I just sit alone in a room day after day in the dark. When this runs out i have no next place to go. I'm disabled. My med bills are more than i make. I live on bread and water mostly. I can't even fix my old car. Its like my life has ended but God saved me from death. No; didnt try it. I live in unclean plsces. Had transplant. Keep getting infections.
I have a purpose. But they can't see it. I'm growing so weak from infections. I can't afford a hospital again. The next time will probsbly be the last. So weird. I just keep living. I'm like a stain on a carpet. No one wants it. Its just there.


#confusion   #discord   #sin   #god   #student   #depressed  


I confess that I believe in Yeti and Bigfoot.
No, it's not a confession! I don't wanna hide behind my belief, I know they exist!
And I think it's unfair that it's socially accepted to believe in God or so but not in Bigfoot!


#bigfoot   #yeti   #confession   #belief   #god  


Every day, every morning and every night, I lust. When I wake up and when I go to bed. The desire consumes me to masturbate. And when I try to abstain, the desire grows until I finally give into that gratification. I've heard it's wrong to masturbate. I know I should not. But I've been living like this since I was in 8th grade. It's so hard to stop. I have not had a real girlfriend so there's no real ambition to stop except for God telling me not to. But there's certainly a lot of temptations. At my high school formal 3 years ago, the hottest girl in my grade turned around and grinded on me. I think about her nearly every day, but not in the right way.


#lust   #addiction   #god  


Now i am 25 year old.When i was 22 my crush rejected me, i got heartbroken and entered into a relationship with another classmate of mine. After I got into relationship with my classmate,my crush called me few times but I rejected her call. I was continuing my relationship with my classmate.One day when I was kissing my girlfriend(i.e. my classmate) in college campus a guy saw us kissing and he spreader the kissing story in whole college(My crush also got the new). After that incident my girlfriend dumped me and started talking to other guy. Although I was in relationship with my classmate I wasn't in love with her.I loved my crush since I was 21 and now I am 25 and I still love her. yesterday I proposed my crush and she said NO. (Its my story )

JUDGE ME,DIRECT ME,HELP ME
I AM ASHAMED, HEARTBROKEN, I AM LOST.

IF YOU CAN HELP ME.GUIDE ME PLEASE.


#help   #lost   #shame   #love   #death   #god  


In 3 years of relationship I cheated on my girlfriend 7 times. She didn't know anything about it but now she left me for another men.
Please God, forgive me and her for our sins.


#sins   #god   #forgive   #relationship   #cheating  


I have broke other people's trust, I fully admit to this and we will happily live with banished sin and banished against our pillars, boundaries, morals, values, honors by God.


Thank you so much


#god   #love   #fulfilment   #righteousliving   #justice   #fairness   #equality   #promise   #forgiveness   #living   #jannah   #happyeverafter   #wow   #beauty   #embrace   #growth   #life   #woman   #man   #humanity   #unity   #peace   #harmony   #alligmenet   #mutuality  


I went through a bad time of unable to rebuild my faith in the Lord God, I went out with a young woman who was married to a reverend or minister and I miss her, I wanted a friend like her to meet each week for morning tea at a café... what I liked most about her was she did not judge me for my mental illness or my troubles in trying to regain my faith...


#friend   #faith   #tea   #god   #judge   #confession  


do you know that you have 2 invisible diaries that go where ever you go?

their names are

god and jesus 

talk to them every day and every night

confess everything even embarrassing experiences they are always listening

if you do not wanna confess around people who can hear 
do it in private like i do


an earthy diary cannot hear you, but they can hear you. an earthy diary cannot answer you, but they can answer you. an earthy diary cannot save you from hell but they can save you

before i became a christian i use to confess everything to diaries until one day it was stolen and my neighbors from georgia got all my confessions and disturbing fiction i was horrified but soon after that i discovered god and jesus and now i don't buy earthy diary's anymore or confess to them i confess everything ive done to god and his son during prayer and i ask their forgiveness 

prayer is your diary and god is always listening

prayer is a much better diary because it cannot be stolen or read by other humans only god and jesus will know what you have done and your secrets will always remain secret


#god   #diary   #jesus  


sometimes I feel like killing myself, I think about it. then accept I'm too much of a pussy to actually die and stop existing and that I need to be here for a reason but I haven't found a reason or a purpose to live for or die for somethings always changing my mind. other days I feel like doing everything and greeting everyone and being someone in life I want to be a medic, a navy seal, a firefighter, a marine, a surgeon, a doctor, a gastrointestinologist , a physical therapist a masseuse, a gardener, a teacher, a painter,, a farmer, a swimmer, an inventor, a nutritionist, a famous DJ, a world renown producer, a fashion designer, many things, , . then suddenly I feel like I don't deserve life and I'm a waste of life and I want to take a bunch of anesthetic numbing medication and something that'll kill me fast and painlessly and go quietly but then If I do there's a chance ill shit my pants and vomit and ill die dizzy and uncomfortable and smelly, cause id do it with a gun but that'd be too messy and I don't want a gross hole in my skull and brain matter all over the place, and plus I don't have a place to kill myself and I don't wanna do it at someone's house, that's just disrespectful. id slit my wrists but that would hurt, and If I did coke my heart would be pumping and id be alive and dying simultaneously. my mind is everywhere, I just want a simple mind. :( and a normal life goddamnit, I wanna get laid, I wanna kiss a girl, I wanna love, I wanna stop watching porn so much, I wish I was more social, I'm skeptical about believing in god, sometimes i do then i don't then i feel guilty because then i go running back and then rejecting it and afraid god will reject me for always being a believer and a non believer


#here   #we   #go   #again   #social   #god  


I read the stories on this site and master bate reading them. I sit on my couch chair and hump it it feels so good I have never orgasmed


#help   #ogod   #what   #if   #my   #friends   #see   #this  


Am i going insane? I'm autistic. They once put me on some meds that made me loopy. When i watched TV it was like the TV was talking to me. I thought i was going nuts. Everything was strange. Then i realized it was the meds. So i quit taking them & my head cleared. Turns out the TV was talking to me. You know how some TV shows are preaching or trying to sell you something or ask you to donate. In these shows they are talk to a camara. There you go. They were talking to me. So the meds made me hallucinate to an extent. I'd never had that happen. But i also had a guilt complex.
Thats where you want to be guilty. So while on the meds i had been admitting to things that were not true. They knew that, but it made no sense. Well. I was beat a lot as a kid till i admit to things adults & other kids had actually done. For example. If they stole something & got caught they blamed me. I had to tell the person, it was me, i stole it. Then i took the punishment. Even though i did nothing wrong.
So on the meds i remembered things people did to me or others. I then said it was me & blamed myself. Anyways; once off meds i stopped doing that.
I have a photographic memory. I'm autistic. As a kid i had to lie. The adults changed their stories & i had to repeat the new lies. On & on. So i would. I learned to tell yarns. What i would do is tell the truth; then add some bull crap. This way i had told a truth; but could deny it. But to avoid getting in trouble with my nutty family or whoever; i would also tell whoppers. Thats when i told an obvious load of crap.
One of my kids picked up on it. Dad i know when your lying. If you repeat something its true; otherwise its made up. So she had figured me out. She was filtering out my stories. When certain things kept being repeated she knew it was real. But i then told her you still have a problem. I never tell anyone the whole story. I always only give you a taste. Then keep all the details & rest of the facts to myself. I had no choice as a kid.
So right before this pandemic i got a divorce & nearly died. So I'm very depressed. But not on meds that affect me. So no hallucinating. That only happened the once.
When the pandemic hit i felt sorrow for my fellow citizens. So i played a game. I took the truth & tweeked it. Told my real beliefs; but altered things to get a desired outcome. Basically i was trying to get different people i contacted to work together; or do the right thing. Trying to get different political partt politicians to do things from the other side. Whatever. Basically i wanted the best for all of you.
Its a pandemic. I was afraid if i didnt that our country would have riots & more deaths. I love all good life. But i don't love evil. Aggressive dogs; evil humans, i don't like them. So i encouraged good things to happen; but i challenged & called out those doing bad. I'm still doing it. I was trying to avoid what we now have in the streets; riots. The media causes them. Yes; they use real things that make you mad or sad; then the media spins it; & tries to get a desired outcome.
Politicians; actors; TV evangelists; they all do it. How to get you to vote for them; send your money; believe they care; whatever.
So ive played them. Tell them what needs to happen; but make them think its for their own good. Will them re-elected; whatever. Make a repub support health care. Make a dem support our military. Whatever.
Ive also tried to reach the trouble makers. The one on the far extremes who write stories & tell half truths. They want their extreme views supported & believed. The lemmings on either fringe fall for it. For example; these riots. A man was basically hunted down for tresspassing. Another was choked out for fake $ as he begged for life. In neither case had the killer planned to kill, but they did. In neither case was the victim without fault, but a minor transgression should not lead to death. So I'm trying to get people from each side to see that. Peace exists in the middle. I'm trying to pull all of you towards the middle for your collective good.
These marches were OK at first; same with the media coverage. But once the goal was accomplished; the perpertrators arrested & charged; the media & marches needed to back off. To get whats best for the whole. But they are not. As a result innocent people are being harmed; looting & arson are occuring as the criminals & anarchists use these tragedies for their own purposes. So I'm trying to limit that.
Some in the media want one or the other politician elected. They are using a tragedy to influence outcomes. This is causing great tragedy just to try to trick lemmings into voting one way or the other.
We now have store owners trying to save thier lifes work; as low lives try to destroy it. They are attacking the store owners. Then the extremists reporters are trying to blame the store owners. Innocent cops are being attacked; & again, the extremists in media are trying to justify that.
We have to charge guilty cops. But we also have to charge guilty criminals who attack cops. Some will say we don't need cops. OK; then we are left with the wild west. I used to be able to shoot a quarter at 400 yds. I could run & shoot a moving target. I have special forces in my family. Hunters. Do you really want to go wild west with us? Because you will not like the outcome. This is why we need cops & laws. They keep criminals in check; & keep people like us from hunting our own justice. Make sense? Me personnally; I'm very passive. I forgive almost anything. But at a certain point; we all will fight back. We can't just lay down & die. We are watching that play out on TV. Cops are trying to show restraint; store owners are trying to save all they have. Criminals are trying to harm innocent cops & store owners.
Lost in this are the good people. There are kind people out there in those protests. They are just asking why was a man who tresspassed & maybe stole some copper hunted down & killed by non-cops? Why was a man who used fake money choked to death? I get the community watch. Ive lived in bad neighborhoods. But that stopped when they chased hI'm & got out with guns. He had not broken into an occupied house; not physically harmed; or been on their property. So they over reacted & it led to his death.
I know cops have a job. I know drug using criminals can act innocent; & then try to kill you. Happened to me once. Almost got me killed. I was dealing with a work release nut on PCBs who was convicted of trying to kill an old lady. I didnt know that till later. I was attacked. I won. He begged for mercy. I let him up & tried to leave. He tried to kill me. I beat him again. Others convinced me to let him go. He then tried to kill someone else. Before trying to kill me he had been trying to kill someone else. So cops never know if thats what they are driving up on.
However; this man was subdued with multi cops present. I think the crowd yelling at the cop is partially why he never let up. They triggered his fight or flight; he wasnt letting up because they were trying to demand it & filming him. Whatever the cause; maybe they just distracted the cop. Maybe he turned evil. I don't know. I do know a man died for a stupid reason.
Well; in the midst of me trying to help all of you work together; along comes the pentagon saying the Tic Tac UFO videos are real. What? I thought they had been faked or altered. This means we either have very advanced tech. I used to work in the space industry. What i watched is so beyond rockets & jets. Maybe you didnt ever draw blue prints; make a 100 in Pysics; or build things that enter space. But i did. This is mind boggling.
Well heres what has me questioning my own sanity as ive been playing the fringes trying to get yall to love each other & work together. I saw a Tic Tac. It was the 70's. I lived literally by a military base. Me & about 12 adults stood feet from it. They were shocked & scared. I was curious & studied it. I'm autistic. Was told I'm a genius. And had a photographic memory.
What i saw up close is the same type of craft the Navy calls a Tic Tac. All you see is a heat sig. I saw the real craft. Studied it.
But i thought it was a real US secret craft. The adults thought it alien. I laughed at them.
Then people called the news. The news ran a show on how abductions may be real. I then had weird dreams. I just laughed all these yrs. The scared adults & TV stuff caused my subconcious have two funky dreams. The dreams faded as i jumped up & tried to flee. It was weird dreams right? Or is that how aliens abduct people? Ive never & still don't believe in that. Yet i had weird dreams; but got away in mine.
So now ive been thinking if UFOs are real; are abductions? Are these crazy peoples stories sometimes real? Did i just think i was dreaming. Were whats now grays really in my room trying to get me & i escaped? I think it was dreams; but scientifically i have to accept it may be real. Mine probably a dream; maybe theirs are real. Being autustic i need provable things. I don't believe in ghosts & magic & bigfoot.
So; I'm watching this alien stuff & trying to decide is other stuff real? This led me to the men in black.
Don't laugh. When i was a boy a man tried to talk to me. I wouldnt go; so he tried to abduct me. He came back. I messed him uo for life. Fuck him. I should have finished him. Because he came back & tried to kill me. I then moved.
It happened the same yr i saw the Tic Tac. I never linked it together. He was dressed in dark colors; mostly black. Even a black car. But it was nothing like the crap you read in the stories or see in movies. I always thought it was just a perv on drugs. We had a lot of child mollesters & nuts on drugs grabbing kids in the 60's & 70's. So now i have to consider; was it related, was he a man in black? Wow. He was the scariest part of my whole life. Ive never been able to deal with having fought that basterd.
Then i stumbled across star children. You wont believe me; but ive had people just walk up over the last 20 yrs & tell me I'm a star child; nordic alien, crazy stuff. Witnesses have seen it happen. I always thought it was crazy people. But its happened multi times. So. Weird people watch these shows & believe it. But why approach me? Well; women have always approached me for some reason. Kids always mostly liked me. Nice animals. But more than normal. Animals just following me; landind on me; mean animals afraid of me. Everyone goes thru that stuff. It just happened to me a lot more often; to the point people would notice & ask why. Same for babies reaching for me; toddlers following me around; pretty women walking up & talking to me. I always figured its cause i was cute; am nice, & maybe put out pharamones. All of that stopped in recent yrs after i nearly died.
Then theres all the weird people who have told me my eyes glow. That has happened 100's of times. My dad denied me because of my eyes. But i don't see my eyes glowing; nor do most. I think its just because i have very odd eyes that seem to change colors & reflect light oddly.
But; i can not deny two experiences. I can explain one. As a tiny boy i was saved. Weird thing. My body stayed; but my conciousness seemed to go to Heaven. I talked to a long haired man in a robe. He told me why i was here. My conciousness returned. And i had a quiet voice in me. Obvi some will say Jesus & others I'm lying. I don't know. Some will say my self concious; others Holy Spirit. Rather than try convince you my faith is real. Let's stick to science. My brain did something there. I didnt see dellusions in real life. No magic. But i did change. I went from thinking it was ok to hunt; to feeling sorry for animals. I suddendly had a quiet voice telling me right from wrong. I suddenly had an understanding of what the Bible meant. And had always had an earie understanding of space even before this. I was four. I had no TV; no one spent time with me. I rarely had ever left house. I'd spent over a yr locked in a room alone. I'd never been to Church. My family despised Christians. So where did i learn so much about faith; & how did i know things about space that science is just starting to suspect? Advanced brain? I'm sure theres a scientific explanation. I just haven't tried to figure it out; because it saved me. Thinking the Holy Ghost is what speaks to me is how i endured a hard life. I really believe i went to Heaven; talked to Jesus; & have the Holy Spirit in me. That doesn't mean i do. But it is why i saved lives; protected people; & forgave. So it made me a better person. So that can't be bad.
As a teen i nearly died. My body was basically temporarily dead. My conciousness returned to Heaven. I saw kind people i had met who were gone; the mean people i didnt; i was surprised some i expected to be there were not. I once again talked with whom Christians call Jesus; & chose to return. Obvi. that could be my sub-concious on the edge of death, or real if you believe in an afterlife. You the reader decide. I can't prove it either way. I know people witnessed the event & thought me & another person dead. They came back first. They were frieghtened & hysterical & they tried to run & hide. This was a very cruel person. They told me theh saw something really bad; but didnt want to talk about it. I saw something wonderful. Maybe they felt they would goto Hell when they die? I know this person was a very evil person. Also a drug user. So who knows.
Well. I don't know. I do know i wish i had never seen that Tic Tac as a kid. I wish those videos had never been leaked. I wish the Navy & now Pentagon had never confirmed the videos are real. Because now while dealing with poverty; a suppressed immune system; a divorce; my kids having issues because I'm not in their lives; worrying if the virus will kill me or my loved ones; worrying if me or my family will be killed by these crazy loons in the streets taking advantage of marches to riot & kill. I was attacked back in the Rodney King riots. I lived in an all black area & didnt see race. But too many around me saw my red skin as white & hated me for it. I didnt even know about the riots until i was in one. I had to beat the fucking hell out of people to live. I picked up a 240 lb man & slung him around like a rag doll because he tried to kill me. I had to run from a large mob charging after me. I had to change colleges; neighborhoods; & job. Eventually all that hate passed & i felt safe again. My kids have diverse friends. But wirh this starting up again; i have to start watching who is around me. As a mixed person with my sweet black nephew in the room beside me; i don't like having to scan people to see if they seem threatening. However; i was almost killed; called racist names & threatened in school/work/restaurants/shopping/neighborhoods. My black friends avoided me because other blacks may be mad or attack them. I was hated by some who had never met me. They threatened to kill me. Most didnt take part; but they didnt speak out against it. When it was over months later some of my ex-friends tried to approach me. So did my ex-roommate. They tried to explain they had to stick with their people. I couldnt understand how a stranger in the street meant more to them than a person who used to set & watch movies; laugh; joke; play sports; eat; & laugh with them. But; I'm autistic; I'm used to that. So i just moved & joined a white community. I never felt like part of them either; I'm mixed & autistic, but at least they were not trying to kill me, breaking in my car & home, calling me racist names, & threatening me & my tiny nieces & sister just because we had lighter skin. After grocery shopping i was surrounded by 6 males, one with a gun, i was holding a tiny girl in one hand, & the hand of another. The gunman threatened to kill us if we didnt move. They didnt want us in their part of town. So we moved. People try to blame one race for this. Being mixed race & autistic i can't pick a side. I'm just a Christian. I'm going to Heaven. But my skin is lighter than some; & that makes me the enemy to some. Racism cuts both ways. Every race has haters within it. So try to stay safe: now we have to worry about wearing a mask; 6 ft; bankruptcy; possible homelessness; & if a mob of loons will suddenly try to kill us.


#tic   #tac   #ufo   #alien   #yarn   #god   #heaven   #pandemic   #coronavirus  


Now and then, I pray to the Lord to help me with my problems. It helps me keep in mind what's important in life and what's now.
But I have to confess that I tell everyone that I don't believe in God and that I'm an atheist because I'm ashamed of my belief.
Oh God, please forgive me.


#pray   #lord   #god   #important   #life   #belief   #forgive   #atheist  



Pray and roll the dice for #god

Confessions by confessionstories.org

back to top