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My life sucks. I don't get a girl and every girl I like gets a boyfriend shortly after. I should make a business out of it...
I guess it's because I am just a nice guy. Girls don't like nice guys...
From now on I am going to be an asshole! A big jerk.. Maybe I'll get a girlfriend then...
I don't know what to do anymore..... Life is so confusing for a man who has nothing in this world and is only getting dimmer and dimmer instead of better like in those fucking tales you see on movies or happy ending books. My mom is a pain who can't even understand how mentally fucked I am dealing with stress she has entailed onto me about how she cant get a job and is relying on me and my sister to take it all in control. This life is no different compared to her as she had to struggle doing the same thing with her mom before that, however this is of new age and of new thinking. It as well concluded to me that I have depression that has a rise over the years due to this family finance as well distress from just an 18 year old still trying to find himself. I found that suicidal thought have became more creative as I become sad where its me blowing my brains out in front of everyone and saying goodbye to jumping off the state bridge and sending off a worldwide video describing to help those in needs such as I am and in hope that they can learn from my mistakes and no not follow in these barbaric and sorrowful steps of a "human". I've been called worse then human such as "idiot" "stupid" "dumbass" to my so called friend..... and even to family members. Another part of me that wants to come out is how my dead beat excuse of a human dad just essentially is homeless and somewhere out doing drugs and such still living to his glory and essentially created this whole black whole of mess.
In this end there is also an answer that I still hope that anyone who stumbles upon this website may enlighten and please tae into recognition...... "YOU ARE NOT ALONE".... It's hard and horrible but all I can say and to keep tings short is that you are not alone and understand that we, me you, whatever it may be can get through this. From writing this out it helped me alleviate some pain physically and mentally and started me back to the engine that could. So please anyone who has eyes and ears, don't be afraid to talk to someone or write out your expressions cause trust me you are in most definitely not alone. Hope this can help someone like me or anyone in trouble. Thank you.
yeh, life really does sux, I knew it but would try to be positive when everyone was so negative around me. I thought it would be me with the degree graduation and big money earning and marriage and instead its like my nephew and aunty have the money and travel everywhere and get work easy and friends and aunt goes around raping young men and I know her relationship will end in a bunch fight with other women, she is going so like the great ronaldo. my sister in law graduated from a degree before me when I started one before her. she is a bitch and prostitute and that is how she gets work. I mean, their good at taking people down, I will give them that. but does that mean they should be rewarded for their bad ends? I hope slutty cousin ends up with quads next pregnancy and is fat forever and her kids will be having babies young after all not much else to do over there with their 4 way marriage.
All my teen and adult life I have been what they call claustrophilic (opposite of claustrophobic) and have been addicted to total enclosure bondage, everything from mail-bags, sleeping-bags, rubber body-bags (my absolute favorite? and latex suits etc. Consequently, my life has been full of what would be considered very strange people. Try getting a cheer-leader type in your own age-group to tie you up in a bag! However, I discovered that much older women will bend a lot of 'rules' to have total control of a young. fit and healthy male, well-endowed, and unable to refuse them ANYTHING they want.. Now this sounds like something out of Hollywood, but at work, I met an amazing woman, who was in charge of the firm's security protocols. Turns out she immigrated here at the time the Berlin Wall came down, from what was then East Germany. She was disparagingly referred to as the "Ice Queen" and studiously avoided. She did look rather off-putting, at first. Tall, slender but athletic, sixty-ish, thick grey hair, styled in a severe bun, with metal-rimmed glasses, prominent bone structure with rather Slavic cheekbones, and a small prim slit of a mouth. Grim, was the first impression she gave. Anyway, I tried to get to know her, sitting at her empty table in the cafeteria, and so forth. She discouraged me, but I was persistent, and she gradually softened, once it became apparent that I wasn't trying to trick her or humiliate her, and such. She finally accepted that I found her attractive, and we went out regularly, keeping it very discreet. I confessed one evening, after too much to drink that the powerful, self-assured, cold personality she projected really appealed to me, because I was naturally attracted to powerful women, and had a compulsion to submit to them, in th hope that they might take advantage of me. She laughed for the first time, really naturally, and asked, wiping a tear from her eye, did I know what she used to do in the former East Germany? I aid no, and she confessed that she had been a very experienced and effective interrogator for the Stasi, the state security people, who apparently had a fearsome reputation. She then asked if I wanted to leave, and I replied by asking if she had much experience in restraining people, maybe with sensory deprivation? She laughed again, and said "Gott-in-Himmel, you're not involved in THAT? Unbelievable! So you are probably very submissive, at least sexually? Or all the time?" Emboldened, I admitted that it was the most important thing in my life, and I thought she might be at least understanding, maybe even interested. "A pretty young boy like yourself? All of what, eighteen years? Of course I'm interested! So, you wish me to tie you up and interrogate you? Torture you? It would be a true pleasure, but be VERY sure it is what you want, because I have very strong needs and demands, having always enjoyed my work immensely, in the old days. You may well have cause to regret being involved with me, but it may well be too late to do anything about it by then. Are you willing to take that chance?" I said I certainly was, and we went back to my place, a nice secluded house I had inherited from an Aunt, my sole relative. She demanded to see my equipment, and I emptied the large holdall out on the floor in front of her. She stirred through it with her foot, whispering "Fascinating!" She selected an old olive-drab Vietnam-war era bodybag, of thin rubberized canvas, and asked "You would let me put you in this?" rather disbelievingly, her accent seeming stronger. "Absolutely!" I assured her. "But you do not know me! Perhaps I am a little crazy...maybe keep you in there longer than you wish? No?" I replied that I was happy to take my chances, and before I knew it, I was trussed tightly in the bag, now with only a small nylon zipper across my mouth, and two small holes over my nostrils. I was already forming a sizeable bulge right under the other zipper, to her amusement, as she slapped the bulge lightly, over and over, murmuring softly in German. Then she unzipped me, and all my goodies burst out into the open. She snugged the zipper tight round the roots, and informed me this was where the fun began! She wasn't kidding either! Her educated fingers turned me into a screaming writhing maniac, desperate for relief, as he mocking voice said "Now you tell me EVERYTHING I wish to know, ja?" And of course I did! She soon knew as much or more about me than I did myself, probably. She kept me in the bag all weekend, and I thought I was going to die with frustration. By six a.m on Monday, I had begged her to marry me, or at least move in permanently, and she said she'd give it serious consideration. That was ten years ago, and I don't get out much any more, as a rubber-sheathed house-husband, with endless housework and other duties to perform, during working hours, and then transferred to the bag when she gets home, for more grueling interrogations and torture! She is as healthy, fit and powerful as ever, and the ways things are going she may outlast me!
#claustrophilic #addicted #teen #adult #life
I cheated on my last boyfriend.
He still doesn’t know and though we broke up and we’re just friends now...I feel like I should tell him since I had an abortion and I’m not sure who’s it was.
Sometimes I just feel like shooting myself in the head. This depression anxiety shit is ruining my life. I’m a Asian guy who’s only into white girls. I just think they’re the angels of the world. I’ve been rejected so many times that I just want to fuck it all. I think loneliness kills more people than cancer. FML
I've recently been going to lots of parties . I always get crossed faded ( its when your drunk and high) and it always messes me up even more. But, I can't stop. I feel horrible after but, at the moment I feel so good. And I love to go to crazy things with my friends when I go out to party.
I worked as a lifeguard. Per se it's bad but today it got really bad. I got fired!! Because I fought with a stupid teenage boy who tought could annoy me the whole time and break all the rules.
Wouldn't be too bad if he hadn't lost 5 teeth and I just stood there and laughed. My hands were covered in blood.
Well, now I am jobless. Maybe I'll try to become a bouncer...
I have herpes and don't tell people that i sleep with. I sleep with married men and even though im in a relationship, i love being a homewrecker. HMP
Did i go to Heaven twice; or imagine it?
I'm a skeptical person. I don't believe ghosts are possible. I think big foot was the silverback gorrila. People see a deer/bear; panick; & imagine the shadow is bigfoot. Nessie was wood; & dolphins. Giant squid was real. Etc.
Ive had people tell me my eyes glow: just odd eyes. This has caused some to call me a star child. I like to mess with people to try to help teach them not to believe in crazy stuff.
But some of the signs are real. But let's face it; they ars vague. A lot of butterflys used to land on me: i emit a sweet smell when i sweat. Butterflys need the salt. A lot of kind animals liked me. Well; I'm nice. I think i emit more pharamones than most. Till recent old age i had a higher pitch very musical voice.
A lot of birds whistled at me. I have big flexible tounge; & have mimicked bird sounds for yrs. So emitting non-threatening pheremones & mimicking their sounds attract them.
Mean animals: i get very aggessive. I was 270 lb muscle man. I probably emit phaamones that send a threat to them.
In 70's i saw a Tic Tac secret US craft by a military base. You see similar craft in Navy video. Can i prove that's what it was? No; but its either that or aliens. I would need much more proof before i could believe aliens are visiting. I see some stuff on TV; but we've been faked before.
After i saw it i had weird dreams. Is it possible aliens were trying to abduct me & somehow kept me in a dream state; sure. But isnt it more likely all the scared adults outside that night with me who cried & were in shock; plus calls to the news; & the news running a show discussing possible abductions caused me to have weird vivid dreams? Let's face it; as soon as i woke up screaming & running they started dissapearing. So to me; this proves alien abuctions are the exact same; vivid dreams.
I'll grant you; having a weird guy try to abduct me months later is curious. Except i think it was months later. He was in darkish/blackish clothes; but so what. We had a ton of drug using child abductors in 70's. See: science. I believe its possible a few people who witnessed secret US craft were visited by secret agents; but so what; after WWII, who wanted a nuke war with Russia & maybe China?
So; i can use science to explain all so far; & yes i will keep messing with people to try to help them stop believing in goofy stuff.
Now for the last two; i felt like i went to Heaven twice when i nearly died. The second one is very easy; i was nearly killed. Heart stopped. I could have very easily have imagined it.
So that leaves precisely one event i can't explain with science. As a little boy when i was saved i thought my soul briefly went to Heaven. I can't explain that. I should not have known all of that; or all the stuff i knew about space at that young of age. Since I'm a Christian; & patterned my entire life after that experience, I'm sticking with it as real. That said; its possible that could be scientifically explained away, but i haven't seen a way yet. Either way; God & Jesus loves me; & I'm going to Heaven when i die.
God Bless
I pretend to care about people I meet and my friends, but frankly I've been hurt and scarred so much that I don't care much for their happiness. If anything I'm resentful and bitter that they are happy and I'm suffering.
I find it rather frustrating that their children are the top priority for most parents. They often neglect their own needs and try to live vicariously through their kids. One of my female colleagues has one pair of shoes and cannot afford another pair, because she uses all her money to buy her spoiled son new shirts and jeans?
My parents never treated my siblings and I that way. That is not the right way either, but I would never neglect myself for my children.
I'm a believer, living in a religious and spiritual environment everyday but...what nobody knows is : I'm a lesbian. Where i am, it's a sin and i know it too well to let anybody know about my sexual orientation because i know i will be rejected. I live with it everyday and it's so hard, especially when i feel attracted to a girl - but can't voice it out. I tried my best to date guys, but it doesn't work. I am just not into boys. Those who say that it's a matter of choice or will, obviously don't understand. Trust me, it's not! It's just like you can't explain why your favorite color is your favorite color. And now, here i am, living a life where i'll never be 100% happy - just because i'll never be able to have a real love story. How can i even concile my sexual orientation and my beliefs... Tough life!
Hi, my name is Charlie and im 17. Last week, i was housesitting with my girlfriend for her mother. I knew her mum wouldnt be back for about 2 weeks and only me and Vanessa where in the house so i walked around Naked, like i would in my apartment. Vanessa left to do some shopping, and getting munchies and films for our night in. She locked the door to keep people wandering in on my nudity. I decided to start cleaning the house as a surprise for Vanessa when she returned. And i knew no body without a key could get in and see me and my manliness in all our glory. Little did i know that her neighbour, Annie, a middle aged woman was instucted by Vanessas mum mother to come and check in on her daughter every so often with the spare key. She entered but didnt say a word. She krept in so slowly and stealthily, she could of robbed us and i would never have knew. I was doing some cleaning up as i said and i picked up a lacy pair of black panties, i held up close to my eyes to see if they were clean or not. However, stealthy Annie saw it a different way.
"What the heck do you think you are doing, you little Panty sniffer, i come to check how my friends daughter was doing and i walk in on her boyfriend sniffing her panties, what is it? Do you like the feeling of them? Do you want to wear them? Oh, your member likes the sound of that, look at it, sticking in the air, hard as rock! You want to wear them!" However i really didnt, i was just so aroused of a sexy middle aged women walking in on me why i was so naked. But i still felt intimidated by her. Her eyes meant buisness, she looked dominant, and definately wasnt afraid of an old teen, no matter how muscular i was! She snatched them out my hands. And she shoved them in my face, pushing me back against, the sofa, i tried fighting back, but she was strong and dominant! She thrown me down, my feet sticking in the air, whaling around everywhere, i was so aroused. If only Vanessa was like this. But no way was i about to put on this panty, without a fight. I kicked her in the head, but it was no use, she pinned me down, and started pulling the g-string up my legs, and before long, i was stood in the living room wearing only my gfs mums panty. I was so embarressed. But totally aroused.
"Oh you like the feeling of womens clothes, well before tonight, you will have to get used to it anyway." What did she mean? I looked at her confused, she jumped on me, pinning me down, she pulled out some rope from no where. Why did she think to bring it? She couldnt of known this would be happening! She tied my hands to the radiator. "Right im going shopping, so dont go anywhere, Phh like you can" She left, i waited for what seemed like hours until she returned.
"Im not wearing that, or them, and especially that!"
This was my reaction when she pulled a corset, stockings, and a bra from her bag when she returned!
"Right,"She said "I have been out, bought all this with your credit card, used up my time, to buy you this sexy things, and you reject, them well your tied up so you dont have a choice!And you need to learn your lesson for sniffing panties, you little pervert!" "I didnt sniff the panties, you bitch" I yelled back agressively. "Oh you shouldnt of done that, now im definately showing Vanessas mum the pictures!" What pictures? "Now, i will release you but if you so what kick, or run trust me, the picture of you in the panties, tied up, aroused, and you will never live this down no put on your lingerie!" I was scared, petrified infact, i got up after she untied me, and i stood their! "Well? Give me the lingerie, i cant belive your making me do this!" She through the skanky lingerie at me. At first i stuggled putting on the bra so Annie helped me, and then she put on the corset, pulling them so tight, im sure my rib cage was going to colapse! Then she pulled down my panties and took the off me, throwing them in the hamper. Next was the girdle, and at first it was uncomfortable, but then it got comfier. Then annie started rolling the fishnet stockings up my hairy legs. She pulled out two massive breast forms, and squeezed them into my bra. To my horror, she then pulled out a thong. I shivered at the though of wearing it. "Im not wearing it," I said. She turned around " Oh really, but all the glue on the rest of your lingerie will have set by now so you will look silling without the thong. Glue? Set? I was horrified and attempted ripping off the lingerie, But it was stuck. It was useless but i might as well put on the thong to hide my growing penis. No use, even wearing it, it didn't do so well contained my massive dick. And i tried moving it but i winched in pain as it pulled on my many pubic hairs. The glue had set. I looked in the mirror to see, an obivous man, in slutty lingerie, i looked rediculous. I looked like a drag queen. I was looking at myself when my sight was quickly blocked by a pair of 6 inch high heeled thigh high boots. It was obvious i had to put them on, which i did, and the glue quickly set. I walked around the house, hearing the heels click, it was horrifying, I was a man, forced to wear drag,, stuggling to walked in 6 inch heeled thigh high boots. i was soo humiliated, I just stood their, in the kitchen, horrified, and the next minute, i felt something hard hit my head, and i was out cold, I awoke about an hour later to Annie, looking down at me. laughing taking millions of photos. She then shown me one, She had done my make up and it was so stupid, My lips, bright red, they looked massive and plump, my eyelishes 2 inches long, my eyebrows looked like slugs and my face was so draggy! Then above my head was a gigantic wig, that towered 2 feet above my head. And below, was a tight, tight dress that crushed my body. I looked in the mirror, and i was horrified, Normally in feminization stories the man looks into the mirror to see a women staring back, but no, for me when i looked in the mirror i saw a man in bad drag looking back. I was humiliated. The door slammed, and Annie was gone! What would she do with the pictures, would she show Vanessa? Too Late!
"Charlie, what are you wearing, are you wearing drag! I tried to rip it off but it was no use. She told me she liked it, and that she was alright with it, even though i told her i didnt like it , she denied me. The next day she used glue remover to remove eveything but couldn'nt get the boots off. We tried everything. But it was no use! I had to wear the boots for weeks even after her mum got back, Over these weeks i told her "I hate drag, im disgusted my the queers who do it, its discustin" I werent really, i support gays but i had to show her i hated it. She wasnt having it! How was i supposed to know she had a friend drag act! She got him to come over, and they both forced me to wear drag and since then i have been forced to wear drag in the privacy of mine and vanessas house, whilst she held the pictures Annie gave her and as payback for all the time i made her wear, skimpy clothing. I protested alot but it was no use. I got used to it no matter how much i hated it, To the outisde world i was a normal man, in our house, i was an drag queen who looked nothing like a girl. Out side i would wear lingerie under my clothing, and inside i would spend my time with Vanessa and Ryan ( the drag act friend) getting my nails done and walking around in 6 inch heels and short dresses. I didnt like it but i did it to protect the pictures getting out. And even now while i right this, im wearing a short leopard print dress, with thigh high 6 inch heeled boots and a bit blonde wig. Me, my wife and ryan are watching a kinky movie. Then vanessa starts jacking me off, i didnt even realise i had a boner! Then she tapes it back under my legs. Beyond my front door my drag life has never ended, and when me and vanessa got married privatley guess who was wearing the dress!
I dont know what to do with my life anymore. ive lost all of my friends, and i feel like i have noone to talk to generally. ive never felt more lonely in my life than right now. i havent achieved anything till now. im tired of everything. its annoying me, everything around here. i feel lost, and i dont have the will to live anymore.
#life
I need to confess.
I've never asked for much in my life. Just to be happy. I can't seem to ever find it though. Every time I do it always ends up being fake. I hate that so much. But a while back I found happiness in a girl. She was everything I've ever wanted and more. I devoted my life to keeping her happy and I did everything to do so. We were inseparable, or so I thought. One day, not too long ago in fact, she decided to just throw away all we worked so hard to achieve.
I was so devastated I tried to kill myself numerous times. When my knives were finally taken away I looked up key points on my veins and took thumbtacks to each point. Several at a time too. The pain was unbearable and I thought it would work. It didn't obviously. People saw the scars and finally I got help. I was gone for a few days but it felt like a lifetime. When I finally got out of where I was I felt better but not helped. I still have thoughts of death and suicide and am having them now as I type these words. The scars serve as my own permanent reminder of what I went through. Everyone wants me to promise never to do it again...but these promises have been made in vain....
I was stupid. I ruined relationships due to my personality, it was odd. I was always inside a shell, nervous and full of anxiety about an uncertain future. But once I establish a form of deeper relation with someone, those factors of my personality fades away as if I was someone else. It feels like being trapped inside my mind. My morals change, and the knowledge I had of myself disappears. I commit actions only to
regret it later but repeat it again. It feels like transitioning from a normal person to a person who is devoid of any emotions, manipulative, impulsive. I want to go back to my lingering past. I isolated myself but I was late to realize what I was doing. I cannot confirm that fact that I am back to how I were before but, I hope that all of me is cohesive and not a broken mirror. I have what I wanted but don't deserve it. This is a confession and as well as my fear. At this moment, I am simply existing.
#life
I'm 21 single and a virgin... I'm the kind of girl who's waiting for the right person, right moment, you know shit like clichés. But ever since when I was 14 I've been wondering of my body and every year pass by my exploration increases making me get to this point right now making me feel so ready to do it, but my question is with whom? I feel so turned on even just by looking at some hot guys on campus, discreetly fantasizing their cocks. (TBH) And when I'm fucking wet until I get home I just do it. Sometimes I watch porno to pass time or movies with hot sex scenes like Fifty Shades of Grey I allow myself to feel the pleasure. This is like a hopeless sex life for me (i think). I feel like it could've been better if I can finally, actually feel the real thing inside of me.
Gollum’s Life ~by the REAL Gollum
I’m Gollum, the REAL Gollum. I know, you readers might be thinking “Gollum isn’t real!” “You’re insane!” “You want attention!” “You’re living in a fantasy world!” etc.
I’m not making this up. I AM really Gollum, precious. I don’t need to prove it to you!!! I’m using correct grammar and whatnot so I won’t sound annoying. In the Return of the King, I faked my death.
Obviously, I’m tough as nails and I don’t care what others think of me. However, my heart can shatter to pieces when people bully me, gossip negatively about me, and/or harm me in any psychical, mental, and/or emotional form.
For example, many people online refer to Gollum as evil, cannilbalistic, ugly, disgusting, hideous, psychotic, schizophrenic, narcissistic, freak, muderer, etc. Although I’m aware these things are NOT true about me, I become upset to discover that people believe those lies and rumors about me. Ever since, I’ve frequently worried if my friends would pity me, likes fans of mine do, or be convinced that I’m a murderer and shut me out of their lives. People who have wanted to befriend me have approached me asked for my name. Almost always, my response was “I can’t tell you because you will hate me and think I’m insane.” Even when I’ve revealed myself to them, they were never convinced. Furthermore, they’ve said they hated me and taunted me.
Everyday, I harbor my emotions by convincing myself to be strong and not be offfended. “Big creatures don’t cry,” is what they say. Everynight, before going to sleep, I tell myself I’m feeling ok...when I’m heartbroken by these nasty little hobbitses, dwarveses, elvses, and humanses...I don’t get it, why are people so repulsed by me?
~From, Gollum (the REAL one)
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