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A few years ago when I was in my early 20ies, I had some serious troubles that I still notice today.
I was in a huge friend circle and we liked to party or generally hang out and relax. Most of them were my age, but some were a bit younger. The two youngest were two 16 year old girls and they were best friends. As I now know, one of them was totally and insanely in love with me. But she never told me or shown me, she was always kinda bitchy to me. I guess this was her way of showing me?
Anyway, one Friday night, we were all at a birthday party in a friend's house and those two were there as well. I actually can't remember what caused or triggered it (it must have been something rather trivial) when the girl that had been in love with me started acting up and blew the whole thing out of proportion and started screaming and crying at me. I remember that she called me a "stone-hearted asshole" that "does not care for other people's feelings". I never would have thought about myself in that light and I could have argued with her about it back then, but I thought I would just leave it at that and tried to ignore her as best as I could.
That seemed to spur her on more and I was told that she got completey wasted after I had gone home.
The next day, I woke up to dozens of angry and hateful text-messages from her and her best friend and they were threatening me and said that I would regret it and that I was an asshole and the like. I ignored the texts and even deleted them and that was the stupidest thing I could have done. Couple hours later, the police knocked on my door and arrested me. They told me that I had been accused of raping a girl.
As it turned out, those two bitches went to the police and told them that I had made her drunk and had sex with her without her consent. Her best friend acted as a witness.
After this, almost no one wanted anything to do with me. They all shunned me and labelled me as the "child fucker". Only one friend believed me.
Those two lied their asses off and (lucky for me) couldn't keep their stories straight and the examination of the "rape victim" had shown that she was still a virgin and definitely did not have sex with anyone the night before (as she said).
The case was dropped and I sued them. They only had to do some social work.
All of my friends still believed them and did not talk to me any longer.
I had to move to a different city, find a new job and start again from the bottom. With only one other person believing in me. I has been some years now and I am happy again, but this story still leaves a very sore taste in my motuh.
#confession #rape #allegation #untrue #lie #girls #destroyed #life #wtf
I dont know what to do with my life anymore. ive lost all of my friends, and i feel like i have noone to talk to generally. ive never felt more lonely in my life than right now. i havent achieved anything till now. im tired of everything. its annoying me, everything around here. i feel lost, and i dont have the will to live anymore.
#life
I'll admit it: I'm human and I get so envious of others and how much is going on in their lives and I hate myself for it. I hate that I even have these feelings in the first place because my life is my own and I have made the choices I have made that have led me to today. No one else made them for me and for the most part, my life really isn't that bad. I don't need to have the biggest and the best house, job, car, etc... I've got somewhere to live, a nice enough car, a cat, plenty of wine and a decent job. What more should I want for besides someone to share my life with and maybe some actual friends? I'm working on it!
In the end it just feels like it's not enough when my sister comes over and I get so angry at myself because normally I like my life and who I am and it's not her fault that she makes me feel jealous and stupid. I should be the bigger person and just let this go but she seems to be a like a storm: something that just comes along with all it's thunder and lightning and their's nothing you can do to halt it's approach. It's a cycle and by the time she leaves or I leave every time we get together, I almost feel like I'm in physical pain from the press of holding my emotions in check. I always end up balling like a pathetic idiot just to release some of the tension. Often I have trouble breathing. It's almost like a panic attack is induced or something and I just don't get it.
To give you some background, my sister is two years younger than me and 20 kilos lighter. I'd probably say I am the prettier of the two of us even if I am overweight although she has a nicer smile and definitely knows how to dress. We grew up in a small town and I was the only farm girl in my year group with the other 9 girls being town girls. It was just two different worlds. I grew up liking the outdoors and using my imagination but the townies liked sitting around and gossiping about boys and clothes, etc. My sister on the other hand, had four other girls her age who grew up on farms and they all became fast friends. I went through school going from friend to friend and as a result, my social skills are somewhat lacking. Don't worry, that's not the case so much these days but I just don't get people like she does and despite trying to be a laid back person, I just seem to be so sensitive. I can't handle it when people let me down or don't live up to my expectations. It also doesn't help that we have so many of the same interests. We worked for similar companies, we both like reading, writing, art, cooking and sewing. I feel like I can never be an individual and I am too embarrassed to show any of my artwork to my family who scorned the fact that I like(d) manga & anime when I was younger and still do. I am the black sheep of the family and if my own parents and siblings judge me for my tastes so much then other people outside the family certainly will. However she likes country music which is still in the 'safe' category. She gets teased for being into it but she doesn't get scorned whereas a lot of people in Western society see an anime episode and just see it as a cartoon when many animes can be very violent and for adults only. I don't like them for being cartoons alright. I like then because I like entertainment. I'll watch/read almost anything but I particularly like anime because it is not as constrained as Western stories/cartoons. It mixes my two favourite mediums together after all: stories and art. But no, apparently I am childish and immature when I'd probably say I am MORE mature simply because I have broadened my horizons and I am interested in all sorts of areas.
Moving along: she met her future husband when she was 19 and that was it. She's married a lovely man in a beautiful ceremony and now she's six weeks out from having her first child. Her life isn't perfect by any means but she couldn't have asked for a more wonderful start. She lives in a brand new, enormous house on a massive farm. She's rich and she has horses, dogs, a cat, a big garden and an amazing car and she's only 25. There's no doubt about it: she knows what she wants in life and she gets it. Not only that, she's really pretty and can flirt like there's no tomorrow. She is a great conversationalist and always the centre of attention. She's confident and self assured. Guys are always hitting on her. She even told me that a workman from a neighbouring farm hit on her last week and she's married and 7 1/2 months pregnant!!! What the heck?!
It's no wonder I feel fat, frumpy and tongue tied when she's around. Our conversation largely consists of her and her life and her calling me a dag because apparently I have an odd sense of humour. So what if I'm quirky? So what if I haven't had a boyfriend (and god knows if I ever will since my flirting skills suck so much - I'm shy alright! That doesn't mean I won't say yes if you ask me! Why should I have to ask? Not all girls have to be confident because surely not all guys find that sexy?) We talk about her all the time and how great her sex life is and how much of a pain it is to be pregnant. You know some of us are terrified that we're going to end up alone and never have any children of our own! And if I dare complain about it's the same old, "well you just need to be more confident and flirt. Nothing will come to you if you don't put yourself out there." Yeah well I don't want to simper and fawn! I want to meet someone who will talk with me and make me feel comfortable. I am shy and I don't want to be rushed into something and expected to have sex on the first date. I don't like touching someone as a form of flirting because frankly I'd be a little alarmed if some guy did that to me the first time we met and started talking. She never asks me what's going on in my life and she's constantly making me feel like an idiot because she always has such a tremendously strong opinion that you doubt yourself and start believing that maybe she is right.
I don't like her freakin friend okay! (Something we argue about more than anything else) And I am effin' entitled to my opinion! She's a horrible person who has upset all the other friends in their social circle and my sister still can't see it. This person didn't come to the hen's night and on the wedding night, after I had given my speech, she decided to upstage me by doing her own speech. She tried to make it look like she wasn't getting up on her soap box by making the other two bridemaids get up there with her - one of which was quite drunk and going through some horrible family issues and all three of them made terrible speeches. And then, my sister blames the drunk one and says how dare she do that on my sister's wedding night instead of caring about how much her friend is hurting. I mean, who does that? Yes, your wedding is a very special day and your friends should leave their problems at home but life happens and I can't believe she can be so on the side of one friend (who everyone else hates) and so mad at another who has been a far longer friend and had a lot of things going on in her life and was dragged into making a speech that she never should have had to make.
In the end it is so humiliating to be jealous of her and I am trying so hard to be me and improve in my own way and I should be grateful to have advice from her (or so everyone and my conscious keeps telling me) but you know what? I don't freakin' want any of it!!! I don't want these feelings and I just want to be me. I want to be able to see her and not have a complete meltdown. Is that too much to ask for? I want to have a few of my own wins in life and I want to freakin do it myself! I don't need advice from someone who's basically got lucky. Yeah I admit I thought and probably still think I am smarter and more widely read than her. I admit that I did better in school than her and thought that I was always better than her and I freakin hate that I even thought that in the first place because I never thought I was that type of person. I hate myself and I hate that I do that as well and that I am so freakin hard on myself. I just wish my chaotic thoughts would take a backseat for a change and leave me the alone because you know what? Life is meant to be enjoyed and not endured and right now I just can't figure out how to enjoy it at all. I don't want to feel like I am struggling because I want to feel like I am being challenged and I want to enjoy the journey instead of constantly feeling exhausted by my feelings.
#jealous #sister #friends #sad #upset #panic #attack #meltdown #envious #envy #my #life #hate #myself
I confess to being an entitled asshole, who since I was able to walk, expected everything for nothing. I thought I could coast through life and have all the things I wanted to be and to have would just fall into my laps. They didn’t. So now I’m at a shitty job that I hate because it’s the job I strives for, which is to say nothing at all. I haven’t put effort into anything and now I’m addicted to my mediocrity. I have no compassion, no drive, no ambition; I don’t know what hard work looks or feels like. Everyone else is trying to better themselves, and here I am dreading to go to work everyday, hoping that this day I’ll get fired and not have to work here, instead of quitting and doing something with my life. All because I have convinced myself that I was a genius, just waiting to be discovered and make the world a better place. Yeah right.
I don't know what to do anymore..... Life is so confusing for a man who has nothing in this world and is only getting dimmer and dimmer instead of better like in those fucking tales you see on movies or happy ending books. My mom is a pain who can't even understand how mentally fucked I am dealing with stress she has entailed onto me about how she cant get a job and is relying on me and my sister to take it all in control. This life is no different compared to her as she had to struggle doing the same thing with her mom before that, however this is of new age and of new thinking. It as well concluded to me that I have depression that has a rise over the years due to this family finance as well distress from just an 18 year old still trying to find himself. I found that suicidal thought have became more creative as I become sad where its me blowing my brains out in front of everyone and saying goodbye to jumping off the state bridge and sending off a worldwide video describing to help those in needs such as I am and in hope that they can learn from my mistakes and no not follow in these barbaric and sorrowful steps of a "human". I've been called worse then human such as "idiot" "stupid" "dumbass" to my so called friend..... and even to family members. Another part of me that wants to come out is how my dead beat excuse of a human dad just essentially is homeless and somewhere out doing drugs and such still living to his glory and essentially created this whole black whole of mess.
In this end there is also an answer that I still hope that anyone who stumbles upon this website may enlighten and please tae into recognition...... "YOU ARE NOT ALONE".... It's hard and horrible but all I can say and to keep tings short is that you are not alone and understand that we, me you, whatever it may be can get through this. From writing this out it helped me alleviate some pain physically and mentally and started me back to the engine that could. So please anyone who has eyes and ears, don't be afraid to talk to someone or write out your expressions cause trust me you are in most definitely not alone. Hope this can help someone like me or anyone in trouble. Thank you.
My life is so monotonous, that I don't have anything to confess... please don't tell anybody
I think it's pretty funny watching other people fall. I also like it to see them suffering. I guess I don't have a sense of shame but I really don't miss it. You should also she the funny sides in life.
I was stupid. I ruined relationships due to my personality, it was odd. I was always inside a shell, nervous and full of anxiety about an uncertain future. But once I establish a form of deeper relation with someone, those factors of my personality fades away as if I was someone else. It feels like being trapped inside my mind. My morals change, and the knowledge I had of myself disappears. I commit actions only to
regret it later but repeat it again. It feels like transitioning from a normal person to a person who is devoid of any emotions, manipulative, impulsive. I want to go back to my lingering past. I isolated myself but I was late to realize what I was doing. I cannot confirm that fact that I am back to how I were before but, I hope that all of me is cohesive and not a broken mirror. I have what I wanted but don't deserve it. This is a confession and as well as my fear. At this moment, I am simply existing.
#life
yeh, life really does sux, I knew it but would try to be positive when everyone was so negative around me. I thought it would be me with the degree graduation and big money earning and marriage and instead its like my nephew and aunty have the money and travel everywhere and get work easy and friends and aunt goes around raping young men and I know her relationship will end in a bunch fight with other women, she is going so like the great ronaldo. my sister in law graduated from a degree before me when I started one before her. she is a bitch and prostitute and that is how she gets work. I mean, their good at taking people down, I will give them that. but does that mean they should be rewarded for their bad ends? I hope slutty cousin ends up with quads next pregnancy and is fat forever and her kids will be having babies young after all not much else to do over there with their 4 way marriage.
Gollum’s Life ~By the REAL Gollum
I’m Gollum, the REAL Gollum. I know, u readers might be thinking “Gollum isn’t real!” “You’re insane!” “You want attention!” “You’re living in a fantasy world!” etc.
I’m not making this up. I AM really Gollum, precious. I don’t need to prove it to you!!! I’m using correct grammar and whatnot so I won’t sound annoying. In the Return of the King, I faked my death.
Obviously, I’m tough as nails and I don’t care what others think of me. However, my heart can shatter to pieces when people bully me, gossip negatively about me, and/or harm me in any psychical, mental, and/or emotional form.
For example, many people online refer to Gollum as evil, cannilbalistic, ugly, disgusting, hideous, psychotic, schizophrenic, narcissistic, freak, muderer, etc. Although I’m aware these things are NOT true about me, I become upset to discover that people believe those lies and rumors about me. Ever since, I’ve frequently worried if my friends would pity me, likes fans of mine do, or be convinced that I’m a murderer and shut me out of their lives. People who have wanted to befriend me have approached me asked for my name. Almost always, my response was “I can’t tell you because you will hate me and think I’m insane.” Even when I’ve revealed myself to them, they were never convinced. Furthermore, they’ve said they hated me and taunted me.
Everyday, I harbor my emotions by convincing myself to be strong and not be offfended. “Big creatures don’t cry,” is what they say. Everynight, before going to sleep, I tell myself I’m feeling ok...when I’m heartbroken by these nasty little hobbitses, dwarveses, elvses, and humanses...I don’t get it, why are people so repulsed by me?
~From, Gollum (the REAL one)
I hate the people who brought me into this world. Years of suffering thru your abuse, lies, domestic battery, betrayal & hurt has left a scar on one's mind/body/soul that will never be healed. My greatest JOY would be knowing you both were knocked soo hard in your fucking heads, it erased all of the memory you had left. Knowing I will be forever forgotten & FREEEEEE from your sorry asses is a gift that cannot come to me soon enough. The JOY it would bring cannot be measured! Please, somehow, someway, forget me!!! It's my greatest wish!! Passing as strangers on the street would make me elated with a joy/freedom I could only dream about and wish for!
#annonymous #for #life
I just realized that I made a big mistake in life. I am female, 19 years old and I think I completely destroyed my whole future...
Couple of months before I graduated from high school, I met a guy in the café I worked at. She were chatting a bit, making small talk mostly, but I really liked the attention a stranger was giving me. I really liked looking at him, he was (still is) a very attractive guy although a bit older. He is 43, has no children and is divorced. I was 17 years old when we exchanged numbers.
I was not worried about his age. We started texting, he called me every night and we talked for hours about everything and anything. We started going out and I fell in love with him quite quickly. And so did he. Everything felt right. He was a real gentleman - corteous, generous and so so attractive.
So now, after my graduation, we are newly married. All of my friends and family told me not to commit to him and not to get married, but I did not listen to them. I was in love. So, I broke off contact to those people who tried to talk me out of it.
I wanted to go to university after high school, get a diploma, travel the world, live in my own apartment. But I moved out of my parents' house, right in with my husband.
Well, I kinda feel totally unprepared for this life as a wife and an adult. (I mean, a wife, at 19!!). I still feel like a child most of the time and I feel inexperienced. I think that is what my husband likes best about me.
Now that the honeymoon phase is over I realized that we have nothing in common. We are living different lives, we are from different times. We do not share any common interests. And he does not want me to go to university or start a job, as he said I should care for our home and be there for our future children. He's already planned having children in the next few years, without talking to me about it.
He is some big shot at the police force, so he earns a lot of money. That is not a problem.
And I can be myself when I am around him, 100 %. And I do love him, but he kind of treats me like a child sometimes.
My family does not want to hear about my concerns any longer, as they say they told me from the beginning. Now I am all alone, with no friends or any social contacts and I know I've driven myself into a corner.
I confess that I am here, bawling my eyes out, listening to sad music, realizing that I have no way out.
#husband #older #married #young #regret #parents #children #life #sad #unhappy
Hi, my name is Charlie and im 17. Last week, i was housesitting with my girlfriend for her mother. I knew her mum wouldnt be back for about 2 weeks and only me and Vanessa where in the house so i walked around Naked, like i would in my apartment. Vanessa left to do some shopping, and getting munchies and films for our night in. She locked the door to keep people wandering in on my nudity. I decided to start cleaning the house as a surprise for Vanessa when she returned. And i knew no body without a key could get in and see me and my manliness in all our glory. Little did i know that her neighbour, Annie, a middle aged woman was instucted by Vanessas mum mother to come and check in on her daughter every so often with the spare key. She entered but didnt say a word. She krept in so slowly and stealthily, she could of robbed us and i would never have knew. I was doing some cleaning up as i said and i picked up a lacy pair of black panties, i held up close to my eyes to see if they were clean or not. However, stealthy Annie saw it a different way.
"What the heck do you think you are doing, you little Panty sniffer, i come to check how my friends daughter was doing and i walk in on her boyfriend sniffing her panties, what is it? Do you like the feeling of them? Do you want to wear them? Oh, your member likes the sound of that, look at it, sticking in the air, hard as rock! You want to wear them!" However i really didnt, i was just so aroused of a sexy middle aged women walking in on me why i was so naked. But i still felt intimidated by her. Her eyes meant buisness, she looked dominant, and definately wasnt afraid of an old teen, no matter how muscular i was! She snatched them out my hands. And she shoved them in my face, pushing me back against, the sofa, i tried fighting back, but she was strong and dominant! She thrown me down, my feet sticking in the air, whaling around everywhere, i was so aroused. If only Vanessa was like this. But no way was i about to put on this panty, without a fight. I kicked her in the head, but it was no use, she pinned me down, and started pulling the g-string up my legs, and before long, i was stood in the living room wearing only my gfs mums panty. I was so embarressed. But totally aroused.
"Oh you like the feeling of womens clothes, well before tonight, you will have to get used to it anyway." What did she mean? I looked at her confused, she jumped on me, pinning me down, she pulled out some rope from no where. Why did she think to bring it? She couldnt of known this would be happening! She tied my hands to the radiator. "Right im going shopping, so dont go anywhere, Phh like you can" She left, i waited for what seemed like hours until she returned.
"Im not wearing that, or them, and especially that!"
This was my reaction when she pulled a corset, stockings, and a bra from her bag when she returned!
"Right,"She said "I have been out, bought all this with your credit card, used up my time, to buy you this sexy things, and you reject, them well your tied up so you dont have a choice!And you need to learn your lesson for sniffing panties, you little pervert!" "I didnt sniff the panties, you bitch" I yelled back agressively. "Oh you shouldnt of done that, now im definately showing Vanessas mum the pictures!" What pictures? "Now, i will release you but if you so what kick, or run trust me, the picture of you in the panties, tied up, aroused, and you will never live this down no put on your lingerie!" I was scared, petrified infact, i got up after she untied me, and i stood their! "Well? Give me the lingerie, i cant belive your making me do this!" She through the skanky lingerie at me. At first i stuggled putting on the bra so Annie helped me, and then she put on the corset, pulling them so tight, im sure my rib cage was going to colapse! Then she pulled down my panties and took the off me, throwing them in the hamper. Next was the girdle, and at first it was uncomfortable, but then it got comfier. Then annie started rolling the fishnet stockings up my hairy legs. She pulled out two massive breast forms, and squeezed them into my bra. To my horror, she then pulled out a thong. I shivered at the though of wearing it. "Im not wearing it," I said. She turned around " Oh really, but all the glue on the rest of your lingerie will have set by now so you will look silling without the thong. Glue? Set? I was horrified and attempted ripping off the lingerie, But it was stuck. It was useless but i might as well put on the thong to hide my growing penis. No use, even wearing it, it didn't do so well contained my massive dick. And i tried moving it but i winched in pain as it pulled on my many pubic hairs. The glue had set. I looked in the mirror to see, an obivous man, in slutty lingerie, i looked rediculous. I looked like a drag queen. I was looking at myself when my sight was quickly blocked by a pair of 6 inch high heeled thigh high boots. It was obvious i had to put them on, which i did, and the glue quickly set. I walked around the house, hearing the heels click, it was horrifying, I was a man, forced to wear drag,, stuggling to walked in 6 inch heeled thigh high boots. i was soo humiliated, I just stood their, in the kitchen, horrified, and the next minute, i felt something hard hit my head, and i was out cold, I awoke about an hour later to Annie, looking down at me. laughing taking millions of photos. She then shown me one, She had done my make up and it was so stupid, My lips, bright red, they looked massive and plump, my eyelishes 2 inches long, my eyebrows looked like slugs and my face was so draggy! Then above my head was a gigantic wig, that towered 2 feet above my head. And below, was a tight, tight dress that crushed my body. I looked in the mirror, and i was horrified, Normally in feminization stories the man looks into the mirror to see a women staring back, but no, for me when i looked in the mirror i saw a man in bad drag looking back. I was humiliated. The door slammed, and Annie was gone! What would she do with the pictures, would she show Vanessa? Too Late!
"Charlie, what are you wearing, are you wearing drag! I tried to rip it off but it was no use. She told me she liked it, and that she was alright with it, even though i told her i didnt like it , she denied me. The next day she used glue remover to remove eveything but couldn'nt get the boots off. We tried everything. But it was no use! I had to wear the boots for weeks even after her mum got back, Over these weeks i told her "I hate drag, im disgusted my the queers who do it, its discustin" I werent really, i support gays but i had to show her i hated it. She wasnt having it! How was i supposed to know she had a friend drag act! She got him to come over, and they both forced me to wear drag and since then i have been forced to wear drag in the privacy of mine and vanessas house, whilst she held the pictures Annie gave her and as payback for all the time i made her wear, skimpy clothing. I protested alot but it was no use. I got used to it no matter how much i hated it, To the outisde world i was a normal man, in our house, i was an drag queen who looked nothing like a girl. Out side i would wear lingerie under my clothing, and inside i would spend my time with Vanessa and Ryan ( the drag act friend) getting my nails done and walking around in 6 inch heels and short dresses. I didnt like it but i did it to protect the pictures getting out. And even now while i right this, im wearing a short leopard print dress, with thigh high 6 inch heeled boots and a bit blonde wig. Me, my wife and ryan are watching a kinky movie. Then vanessa starts jacking me off, i didnt even realise i had a boner! Then she tapes it back under my legs. Beyond my front door my drag life has never ended, and when me and vanessa got married privatley guess who was wearing the dress!
One of my friends is a total loser. He only had D's in school and in worklife it's even worse, he got fired the other day because he couldn't remember his bosses name. And I don't want to start about his woman skills, there are non.
First, I tried to help him but it's just not possible. Now I began to expose him in every arising situation. You can't imagine what fun it is to she him struggle and fall. In a metaphorical way of course.
#loser #friend #school #worklife #woman #exposure #confession #evil
I am afraid that I let my relationship get to the point of it being broken. I'll don't think I'll ever find anyone like her in my life again. I think we've both known for the last year it's over, but don't know how to be apart.
I'm a believer, living in a religious and spiritual environment everyday but...what nobody knows is : I'm a lesbian. Where i am, it's a sin and i know it too well to let anybody know about my sexual orientation because i know i will be rejected. I live with it everyday and it's so hard, especially when i feel attracted to a girl - but can't voice it out. I tried my best to date guys, but it doesn't work. I am just not into boys. Those who say that it's a matter of choice or will, obviously don't understand. Trust me, it's not! It's just like you can't explain why your favorite color is your favorite color. And now, here i am, living a life where i'll never be 100% happy - just because i'll never be able to have a real love story. How can i even concile my sexual orientation and my beliefs... Tough life!
i wanted to something so great so my parents can say i am proud of you my son . as i am not good at many things but i know i am very much good at my work and i am doing it with all my heart and doing really great my manager and other team member complimented me about my work many times but in returns i didn't get good appraisal and some time they cancel my leaves and all it's heart me a lot. sometime i think it's not my hard work in office that is going to make my parents proud i keep looking the opportunities to do something different but all the time i ended at my work like i am good at this, i can do something great in this.. maybe i am working in the wrong company or under wrong manger coz its been 2 year and they still don't know about my abilities and utilizing me in that way. all they care about constant money is coming not giving the opportunities to younger employees who can really make a difference.
I have no goals in life. I have no ambition. I have nothing to thrive for. I have no compassion.
I do not want to waste my life, but I do not know what do change either.
So, I guess, I am just living this blank, unassuming, boring and plain life. And that sucks big time. Why bother living?
#despair #life #boring #lonely #confession
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