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I feel fucked up for really wanting to get a serious illness "just to see what it's like" and possibly treasure life more, when I won't have much time.
I apologise to those who never had a choice...
I miss you so much it hurts. I'm anxious and depressed and I can't get out of my own head tonight. I just keep running through what ifs and the should haves... I just keep trying to figure out what to change so that I'm happy but I just can't figure it out..I'm sorry about the way everything turned out. This wasn't how our lives were supposed to end up.I miss being best friends...i miss you. I love you. I don't wish this pain on anybody.
I just realized that I made a big mistake in life. I am female, 19 years old and I think I completely destroyed my whole future...
Couple of months before I graduated from high school, I met a guy in the café I worked at. She were chatting a bit, making small talk mostly, but I really liked the attention a stranger was giving me. I really liked looking at him, he was (still is) a very attractive guy although a bit older. He is 43, has no children and is divorced. I was 17 years old when we exchanged numbers.
I was not worried about his age. We started texting, he called me every night and we talked for hours about everything and anything. We started going out and I fell in love with him quite quickly. And so did he. Everything felt right. He was a real gentleman - corteous, generous and so so attractive.
So now, after my graduation, we are newly married. All of my friends and family told me not to commit to him and not to get married, but I did not listen to them. I was in love. So, I broke off contact to those people who tried to talk me out of it.
I wanted to go to university after high school, get a diploma, travel the world, live in my own apartment. But I moved out of my parents' house, right in with my husband.
Well, I kinda feel totally unprepared for this life as a wife and an adult. (I mean, a wife, at 19!!). I still feel like a child most of the time and I feel inexperienced. I think that is what my husband likes best about me.
Now that the honeymoon phase is over I realized that we have nothing in common. We are living different lives, we are from different times. We do not share any common interests. And he does not want me to go to university or start a job, as he said I should care for our home and be there for our future children. He's already planned having children in the next few years, without talking to me about it.
He is some big shot at the police force, so he earns a lot of money. That is not a problem.
And I can be myself when I am around him, 100 %. And I do love him, but he kind of treats me like a child sometimes.
My family does not want to hear about my concerns any longer, as they say they told me from the beginning. Now I am all alone, with no friends or any social contacts and I know I've driven myself into a corner.
I confess that I am here, bawling my eyes out, listening to sad music, realizing that I have no way out.
I want to confess that I once thought about going on a killing spree.
Please don't get me wrong, I know how terrible this is but I just couldn't handle it anymore. Back in middle school all other kids hated me, bullied me and pranked me. After a girl pretend to like me but just did so because she had lost a bet, I was furious. I actually had planned the attack but was too afraid to do it.
I am now a grown up man in my mid 30 and I am very glad I haven't ruined my life like that.
I'm a believer, living in a religious and spiritual environment everyday but...what nobody knows is : I'm a lesbian. Where i am, it's a sin and i know it too well to let anybody know about my sexual orientation because i know i will be rejected. I live with it everyday and it's so hard, especially when i feel attracted to a girl - but can't voice it out. I tried my best to date guys, but it doesn't work. I am just not into boys. Those who say that it's a matter of choice or will, obviously don't understand. Trust me, it's not! It's just like you can't explain why your favorite color is your favorite color. And now, here i am, living a life where i'll never be 100% happy - just because i'll never be able to have a real love story. How can i even concile my sexual orientation and my beliefs... Tough life!
Sometimes I just feel like shooting myself in the head. This depression anxiety shit is ruining my life. I’m a Asian guy who’s only into white girls. I just think they’re the angels of the world. I’ve been rejected so many times that I just want to fuck it all. I think loneliness kills more people than cancer. FML
My life is so monotonous, that I don't have anything to confess... please don't tell anybody
I hate that i helped my best friend find a boyfriend and now she's all happy and has little time for me while im single and lonely.
Mondays are the worst days ever. Bad things come early on Sunday to Monday.
i wanted to something so great so my parents can say i am proud of you my son . as i am not good at many things but i know i am very much good at my work and i am doing it with all my heart and doing really great my manager and other team member complimented me about my work many times but in returns i didn't get good appraisal and some time they cancel my leaves and all it's heart me a lot. sometime i think it's not my hard work in office that is going to make my parents proud i keep looking the opportunities to do something different but all the time i ended at my work like i am good at this, i can do something great in this.. maybe i am working in the wrong company or under wrong manger coz its been 2 year and they still don't know about my abilities and utilizing me in that way. all they care about constant money is coming not giving the opportunities to younger employees who can really make a difference.
Gollum’s Life ~by the REAL Gollum
I’m Gollum, the REAL Gollum. I know, you readers might be thinking “Gollum isn’t real!” “You’re insane!” “You want attention!” “You’re living in a fantasy world!” etc.
I’m not making this up. I AM really Gollum, precious. I don’t need to prove it to you!!! I’m using correct grammar and whatnot so I won’t sound annoying. In the Return of the King, I faked my death.
Obviously, I’m tough as nails and I don’t care what others think of me. However, my heart can shatter to pieces when people bully me, gossip negatively about me, and/or harm me in any psychical, mental, and/or emotional form.
For example, many people online refer to Gollum as evil, cannilbalistic, ugly, disgusting, hideous, psychotic, schizophrenic, narcissistic, freak, muderer, etc. Although I’m aware these things are NOT true about me, I become upset to discover that people believe those lies and rumors about me. Ever since, I’ve frequently worried if my friends would pity me, likes fans of mine do, or be convinced that I’m a murderer and shut me out of their lives. People who have wanted to befriend me have approached me asked for my name. Almost always, my response was “I can’t tell you because you will hate me and think I’m insane.” Even when I’ve revealed myself to them, they were never convinced. Furthermore, they’ve said they hated me and taunted me.
Everyday, I harbor my emotions by convincing myself to be strong and not be offfended. “Big creatures don’t cry,” is what they say. Everynight, before going to sleep, I tell myself I’m feeling ok...when I’m heartbroken by these nasty little hobbitses, dwarveses, elvses, and humanses...I don’t get it, why are people so repulsed by me?
~From, Gollum (the REAL one)
I hate the people who brought me into this world. Years of suffering thru your abuse, lies, domestic battery, betrayal & hurt has left a scar on one's mind/body/soul that will never be healed. My greatest JOY would be knowing you both were knocked soo hard in your fucking heads, it erased all of the memory you had left. Knowing I will be forever forgotten & FREEEEEE from your sorry asses is a gift that cannot come to me soon enough. The JOY it would bring cannot be measured! Please, somehow, someway, forget me!!! It's my greatest wish!! Passing as strangers on the street would make me elated with a joy/freedom I could only dream about and wish for!
I live in my own world. There are things I cannot and will not explain about how I life but I think some of you would say I am crazy and should immediately see a specialist or go straight in an asylum. I don't want to tell you in detail whats wrong with me but let me say this:
I confess to be in love with another species. Not a human being but something more wonderful.
I have a crush at you but you didn't ever know that i exist how long should i wait for you hm? hope u can see me KTH.
Did i go to Heaven twice; or imagine it?
I'm a skeptical person. I don't believe ghosts are possible. I think big foot was the silverback gorrila. People see a deer/bear; panick; & imagine the shadow is bigfoot. Nessie was wood; & dolphins. Giant squid was real. Etc.
Ive had people tell me my eyes glow: just odd eyes. This has caused some to call me a star child. I like to mess with people to try to help teach them not to believe in crazy stuff.
But some of the signs are real. But let's face it; they ars vague. A lot of butterflys used to land on me: i emit a sweet smell when i sweat. Butterflys need the salt. A lot of kind animals liked me. Well; I'm nice. I think i emit more pharamones than most. Till recent old age i had a higher pitch very musical voice.
A lot of birds whistled at me. I have big flexible tounge; & have mimicked bird sounds for yrs. So emitting non-threatening pheremones & mimicking their sounds attract them.
Mean animals: i get very aggessive. I was 270 lb muscle man. I probably emit phaamones that send a threat to them.
In 70's i saw a Tic Tac secret US craft by a military base. You see similar craft in Navy video. Can i prove that's what it was? No; but its either that or aliens. I would need much more proof before i could believe aliens are visiting. I see some stuff on TV; but we've been faked before.
After i saw it i had weird dreams. Is it possible aliens were trying to abduct me & somehow kept me in a dream state; sure. But isnt it more likely all the scared adults outside that night with me who cried & were in shock; plus calls to the news; & the news running a show discussing possible abductions caused me to have weird vivid dreams? Let's face it; as soon as i woke up screaming & running they started dissapearing. So to me; this proves alien abuctions are the exact same; vivid dreams.
I'll grant you; having a weird guy try to abduct me months later is curious. Except i think it was months later. He was in darkish/blackish clothes; but so what. We had a ton of drug using child abductors in 70's. See: science. I believe its possible a few people who witnessed secret US craft were visited by secret agents; but so what; after WWII, who wanted a nuke war with Russia & maybe China?
So; i can use science to explain all so far; & yes i will keep messing with people to try to help them stop believing in goofy stuff.
Now for the last two; i felt like i went to Heaven twice when i nearly died. The second one is very easy; i was nearly killed. Heart stopped. I could have very easily have imagined it.
So that leaves precisely one event i can't explain with science. As a little boy when i was saved i thought my soul briefly went to Heaven. I can't explain that. I should not have known all of that; or all the stuff i knew about space at that young of age. Since I'm a Christian; & patterned my entire life after that experience, I'm sticking with it as real. That said; its possible that could be scientifically explained away, but i haven't seen a way yet. Either way; God & Jesus loves me; & I'm going to Heaven when i die.
My life sucks. I don't get a girl and every girl I like gets a boyfriend shortly after. I should make a business out of it...
I guess it's because I am just a nice guy. Girls don't like nice guys...
From now on I am going to be an asshole! A big jerk.. Maybe I'll get a girlfriend then...
yeh, life really does sux, I knew it but would try to be positive when everyone was so negative around me. I thought it would be me with the degree graduation and big money earning and marriage and instead its like my nephew and aunty have the money and travel everywhere and get work easy and friends and aunt goes around raping young men and I know her relationship will end in a bunch fight with other women, she is going so like the great ronaldo. my sister in law graduated from a degree before me when I started one before her. she is a bitch and prostitute and that is how she gets work. I mean, their good at taking people down, I will give them that. but does that mean they should be rewarded for their bad ends? I hope slutty cousin ends up with quads next pregnancy and is fat forever and her kids will be having babies young after all not much else to do over there with their 4 way marriage.
Thursdays are worse than Mondays. Bad things happen to us more than any other day.
I pretend to care about people I meet and my friends, but frankly I've been hurt and scarred so much that I don't care much for their happiness. If anything I'm resentful and bitter that they are happy and I'm suffering.
Realizing that cartoons aren’t real and life will never be as colorful and wacky and fun as the looney tunes probably fucked me up more than I realized. Going through life knowing I’ll never truly be friends with Bugs Bunny and the gang is something I think way too much about and it leads to me becoming very depressed. One day I’ll die and be forgotten yet Bugs will live in and remain in the public consciousness so long as there’s money in it.
Confessions by confessionstories.org