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I confess that i started escorting and made over a grand unfortunately i spent it all and now i still want to go back and this time save money. No one close to me knows and im going to keep it that way :D. Also the thought of doing this job makes me happy 😊
I have a crush at you but you didn't ever know that i exist how long should i wait for you hm? hope u can see me KTH.
Because it's spring break and therefore I don't have to go to school, I made plans to stay at home the whole time and be as lazy as possible. Next to my bed I positioned my laptop, my remote control, 20 gallons of Seven Up, my game boy and my play station 3 controller. I told my parents I am on vacation.
The only time I stand up is to go to the toilet, maybe to take a shower and to open the door for the delivery guy.
It's the best time of my life but I am a bit ashamed that I lied to everyone to be alone.
Each day, I am jealous of my cat because she doesn't have to get up every morning, go to work and live a daily human life. It just sucks. I wanna lie in bed all day, lick my balls and sleep, too!
I was stupid. I ruined relationships due to my personality, it was odd. I was always inside a shell, nervous and full of anxiety about an uncertain future. But once I establish a form of deeper relation with someone, those factors of my personality fades away as if I was someone else. It feels like being trapped inside my mind. My morals change, and the knowledge I had of myself disappears. I commit actions only to
regret it later but repeat it again. It feels like transitioning from a normal person to a person who is devoid of any emotions, manipulative, impulsive. I want to go back to my lingering past. I isolated myself but I was late to realize what I was doing. I cannot confirm that fact that I am back to how I were before but, I hope that all of me is cohesive and not a broken mirror. I have what I wanted but don't deserve it. This is a confession and as well as my fear. At this moment, I am simply existing.
#life
I'd love to run away and start a new life somewhere. Just to get some attention probably. I am starving for attention right now. I feel so bad, but no one notices. I love thinking about where I would go and what I would do and how everyone would react once they notice that I am gone.
So I... had an affair with this guy some three years ago. Ugly as fuck, to be honest. Ok I mean, just really unattractive. Our relationship was essentially based on weed. Not that I didn't buy my own. But I would always use with him, just to have someone to smoke with, since I get really anxious when I do. I would smoke loads back then. Then I stopped buying it. 'cause I wanted to stop. But I kept visiting this man's house. We wouldn't have sex anymore, I was having sex with another guy, a friend of his actually. This other guy was kind of nice and really cares about me but I cut him out of my life 'cause he won't have sex with me anymore 'cause he thinks I'm desperate. Which I kind of am. My life is so dull 'cause I have no plans, no projects, no motivation. Aside from weed, I smoke cigarettes and drink, I don't drink too much but yeah, I'm kind of the addictive type you know. Most of all I was addicted, I still am, to these two men. And I'm also anorexic/bulimic, not too thin lately, and I've managed to stop the binging and purging, I'm making progress you know, but still no future, no education... I used to be in university. I was studying philosophy. I was the brightest student in my year, but I was always on drugs and when I started sleeping with these guys I pretty much gave up on everything else. I tried to launch a music career, so to speak. I mean, as I was hurting like a goddamn dog I started composing sad tunes on my guitar. I've been in therapy all my teen and adult life, I'm 23, it's been more than ten years, with different therapists. Maybe I'm gay, maybe I'm bisexual, maybe I'm a random nymphomaniac, narcissistic, shizotypical, borderline fucked up mess with daddy issues and a self-centred attitude and paranoia and bipolar depression and no friends, virtually zero people I trust. I have no idea what I am, it's not like I've been abused and furthermore I got tested and they say I have nothing, I'm just kind of above average intelligence-wise and particularly sensitive, that's what they say. I taught myself how to play piano in ten days and I can do some pretty impressive stuff and bla bla bla yeah I'm showing off. But really I'm just so sad. I dropped out of uni, anyhow. Oh, I said that already didn't I. And I masturbate almost daily but with a sense of disgust even. I don't enjoy any kind of porn anymore, and I don't even enjoy actual sex, I mean, I had a couple of really good fucks with these two guys but yeah who cares. And what kills me is I've been so in love with the second guy but I fucked up because I'm fucked up and now he's gone but it's been three years and I was his first girl so it was bound to happen wasn't it. Why shouldn't he want to be with someone normal who doesn't hit him when he doesn't want to have sex, someone who is not so whiny as I am, so bitter and self-centred and FUCK I wish I could turn back time or I just wish he could DIE sometimes I really do everything except move on with his life leaving me here in my ugly stinky rut. I'm so depressed I've gotten used to it but sometimes I get these glimpses of lucidity and they really hurt.
#life #sex #drugs #weed #future #depression #addiction #issues
Hi, I'm writing this Anomynously, and I'd just broke-up with My 1st Boyfriend. And I thought about moving on with My Life by NOT thinking about him, but when I told him it's over, he said that Women are:
-Sluts
-Whores
-Cheaters
-Liars.
I didn't like him much, because he didn't notice me, he'd NEVER paid attention to me, never notice that I was there, and he'd always played his video games than actually spending time with me.
Gollum’s Life ~by the REAL Gollum
I’m Gollum, the REAL Gollum. I know, you readers might be thinking “Gollum isn’t real!” “You’re insane!” “You want attention!” “You’re living in a fantasy world!” etc.
I’m not making this up. I AM really Gollum, precious. I don’t need to prove it to you!!! I’m using correct grammar and whatnot so I won’t sound annoying. In the Return of the King, I faked my death.
Obviously, I’m tough as nails and I don’t care what others think of me. However, my heart can shatter to pieces when people bully me, gossip negatively about me, and/or harm me in any psychical, mental, and/or emotional form.
For example, many people online refer to Gollum as evil, cannilbalistic, ugly, disgusting, hideous, psychotic, schizophrenic, narcissistic, freak, muderer, etc. Although I’m aware these things are NOT true about me, I become upset to discover that people believe those lies and rumors about me. Ever since, I’ve frequently worried if my friends would pity me, likes fans of mine do, or be convinced that I’m a murderer and shut me out of their lives. People who have wanted to befriend me have approached me asked for my name. Almost always, my response was “I can’t tell you because you will hate me and think I’m insane.” Even when I’ve revealed myself to them, they were never convinced. Furthermore, they’ve said they hated me and taunted me.
Everyday, I harbor my emotions by convincing myself to be strong and not be offfended. “Big creatures don’t cry,” is what they say. Everynight, before going to sleep, I tell myself I’m feeling ok...when I’m heartbroken by these nasty little hobbitses, dwarveses, elvses, and humanses...I don’t get it, why are people so repulsed by me?
~From, Gollum (the REAL one)
I need to confess.
I've never asked for much in my life. Just to be happy. I can't seem to ever find it though. Every time I do it always ends up being fake. I hate that so much. But a while back I found happiness in a girl. She was everything I've ever wanted and more. I devoted my life to keeping her happy and I did everything to do so. We were inseparable, or so I thought. One day, not too long ago in fact, she decided to just throw away all we worked so hard to achieve.
I was so devastated I tried to kill myself numerous times. When my knives were finally taken away I looked up key points on my veins and took thumbtacks to each point. Several at a time too. The pain was unbearable and I thought it would work. It didn't obviously. People saw the scars and finally I got help. I was gone for a few days but it felt like a lifetime. When I finally got out of where I was I felt better but not helped. I still have thoughts of death and suicide and am having them now as I type these words. The scars serve as my own permanent reminder of what I went through. Everyone wants me to promise never to do it again...but these promises have been made in vain....
My life is so monotonous, that I don't have anything to confess... please don't tell anybody
I'm 21 single and a virgin... I'm the kind of girl who's waiting for the right person, right moment, you know shit like clichés. But ever since when I was 14 I've been wondering of my body and every year pass by my exploration increases making me get to this point right now making me feel so ready to do it, but my question is with whom? I feel so turned on even just by looking at some hot guys on campus, discreetly fantasizing their cocks. (TBH) And when I'm fucking wet until I get home I just do it. Sometimes I watch porno to pass time or movies with hot sex scenes like Fifty Shades of Grey I allow myself to feel the pleasure. This is like a hopeless sex life for me (i think). I feel like it could've been better if I can finally, actually feel the real thing inside of me.
I worked as a lifeguard. Per se it's bad but today it got really bad. I got fired!! Because I fought with a stupid teenage boy who tought could annoy me the whole time and break all the rules.
Wouldn't be too bad if he hadn't lost 5 teeth and I just stood there and laughed. My hands were covered in blood.
Well, now I am jobless. Maybe I'll try to become a bouncer...
i have a loving gf that i absolutely love of 1 year.. i try not to cheat on her. but i’m not satisfied… i just get bored and go looking, you know? is that wrong? we have a life together already. but i like the rush too. im wayyy more freakier than her too. and into more stuff… she likes the basic sex and stuff, lays on her back and i do all the work. i wanna slut someone out. i have good dick and i wanna use it…
I pretend to care about people I meet and my friends, but frankly I've been hurt and scarred so much that I don't care much for their happiness. If anything I'm resentful and bitter that they are happy and I'm suffering.
I miss you so much it hurts. I'm anxious and depressed and I can't get out of my own head tonight. I just keep running through what ifs and the should haves... I just keep trying to figure out what to change so that I'm happy but I just can't figure it out..I'm sorry about the way everything turned out. This wasn't how our lives were supposed to end up.I miss being best friends...i miss you. I love you. I don't wish this pain on anybody.
I feel fucked up for really wanting to get a serious illness "just to see what it's like" and possibly treasure life more, when I won't have much time.
I apologise to those who never had a choice...
#apology #illness #test #life #treasuring
Realizing that cartoons aren’t real and life will never be as colorful and wacky and fun as the looney tunes probably fucked me up more than I realized. Going through life knowing I’ll never truly be friends with Bugs Bunny and the gang is something I think way too much about and it leads to me becoming very depressed. One day I’ll die and be forgotten yet Bugs will live in and remain in the public consciousness so long as there’s money in it.
I've recently been going to lots of parties . I always get crossed faded ( its when your drunk and high) and it always messes me up even more. But, I can't stop. I feel horrible after but, at the moment I feel so good. And I love to go to crazy things with my friends when I go out to party.
Confessions by confessionstories.org
