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Read the best #depression confession stories
I am just sick of being rejected and not being good enough. I have people around me all the time, but I'm just very lonely. I have a lot of troubles, and with all this new mess pilling up, I'm afraid it's sending me into depression and I don't know what to do. I'm scared to open up to someone because they wont understand it, take it seriously. Talk about it with other people. But I'm scared if I don't, I might lose it. I keep crying out loud, but people think I'm joking. At this point no one takes me seriously. Maybe I'm not worth fighting for.
#depression #sad #lonely
Sometimes I lie about being depressed. My friends are so oblivious. I just want to be appreciated and get some attention. But I'll never take it to the extreme. Age: 13 y/o
I'm depressed and I use porn or sexual innuendos as a coping mechanism. Does it make me happy for those few minutes, yes. Does it help me, well no. It makes the situation even worse.
#sex #depression #porn #stupid
Last year I started it felt really good when spilt my skin open I didn't want my parents to know they found out they told me to stop or else I did, this year I started again I told my friends one of them he said he will be there for me the other you are all g but he told my sister I feel really bad I made so much people cry because I self harm he said is it really necessary to cut I just cant stop its like drug everyone in my school knows some how when I walk into the school I get looks it scares me that people hate me now ' if you really care about me then don't tell' I say some people don't understand me I get really upset I need to cut I couldn't eat I cant sleep I told my friends I'm the middle of the night to help me he did but I'm still cutting but I cant if I do my sister will tell my parents so at camp because camp is coming soon I'm gonna cut there no one can stop there's way more for this confession but I gotta go...
I've been in deep depression for...well, it's been so long I forget. My family has now began to put it aside and I'm starting to be the neglected forgotten child in the house. My sister's kid has started to take my place. My father and I rarely talk anymore. Just the other day he refused to look at me once. The desire to just kill myself gets stronger every day. The pain of self harm starts to feel calming now. The pray that when I fall sleep, I never wake up. I keep a tab open of fastest ways to kill myself. I hate the fact I have to deal with this reality. I just want it to end....so bad. I've hurt myself to many times and no one has cared anymore. I've written so many suicide notes. I'm broken.
Do you ever feel like you’re tearing at the seams and you know you have to be the one to sew yourself back together, but you start to notice that you’re running out of thread?
Im a short chubby woman I am jobless, depressed and really insecure. I have sexted and sent my faceless nudes to 5 different people from different countries. I know sexting shouldn't be the answer but it felt like a drug it temporarily gave me some confidence then back to my worthless form. As of now im still in my battle of my depression and I do it by drawing because it's been a long time that I drew something and yeah I did missed that tall cute soldier I was sexting (I sooooo wanted a husband that looked like him) but anyways take care people
When I was moving to secondary school I had plenty of friends and was always the centre of attention but as soon as I moved to secondary I started to fade away like nobody notice me so at the time I thought it would be a great idea to fake my depression/suicidal thoughts to get attention I would post on social media about how I wanted to die and that nobody cared about me anymore. And it worked I was getting a lot of attention and I loved it until my childhood best friend who meant a lot to me went and told my parents I know she was only doing it to protect me but the only reason I stated doing this so she would give me more attention, I felt like shit my parents asked me why I was posting this stuff and I couldn’t tell them the real reason because I was to embarrassed and I thought they would hate me for it so I just told them that I was being bullied. I said that I was being picked on by 4 boys which I kinda was but it was only inside jokes they would call me 4 eyes and pick on me put we always saw it as a joke so I just blamed it on that, and it worked my parents told the school about the boys and they were punished and I felt so bad I actually thought about killing myself but after all this my parents took me out of school to home school me this was the worst point of my life.
My best friend slowly drifted from me I was losing all my friends and I had no one left, my parents put me into therapy (it didn’t work because there was nothing to work on). A whole year goes by of me being home schooled I’m trapped indoors most of the time because my parents won’t let me go out and I couldn’t use social media anymore so I had no way of contacting my best friend, at this point my mental state started deteriorating I was going insane until I finally snapped and ran away. I wasn’t gone for long as I had no where to go but the first place I went to was to go see my best friend she lived quite close to me so it wasn’t really a problem so I went to go see her but she didn’t want to see me I was confused until I talked to another close friend of mine and released that the whole school knew I was faking my depression for attention my heart sank because I knew that everybody would hate me now and I would lose everyone. After all this I went home and my parents were talking to the police because they were scared that I was gonna try kill myself, when I got inside the house my parents told me that they are sending me to hospital to be put on suicidal watch i didn’t want to go but I had to while I was there I saw my phone in my mothers bag and I grabbed it to try msg my best friend and explain things but when I logged into Instagram I saw hate groups mate for me saying that I should actually kill myself I felt awful but what made me hate myself even more is the fact that my best friend had blocked me and sent me a message saying that she wanted nothing to do with me my heart sank. I had lost everything I had nothing left I just wanted the pain that I caused to end so I stood up and ran to the canteen, the canteen didn’t have anything sharp in it other than the knifes they were not to sharp to stop people from killing themselves but I made it work I grabbed one and ran to the toilets I quickly locked the door some of the nurses noticed what i was doing and tried kicking down the door, I tried slitting my throught with the knife but it wouldn’t go deep enough and by the time I managed to make the knife sharp enough they had already broken down the door I was taken away from there and put into a mental hospital where I have stayed for 4 years I don’t know what my ex friends are up to now but all I know is they don’t care about me anymore no one does and it’s all my fault I only wanted my best friend to show me more attention because deep down I loved her but I was to afraid to tell her.
Sorry about the really bad English and grammar I haven’t really learned much seeing as most of my time as been spent in this hell hole my hour on the phone is nearly up so I got to go but if I was to give you a life lesson do not fake mental illness for attention it completely fucked up my life and I don’t think i will ever be able to reedem myself goodbye
And Izzy if your reading this I’m sorry I always loved you but I was to afraid to say it maybe in another life I wouldn’t be so selfish and just puck up the corage to ask you out.
#depression #bestfriend #love #suicidal #suicide #attention #fake
Self harm. Have you ever thought about it. Well please read this first. I promise you haven’t endured worse than me. Maybe as bad. Hopefully the moderators won’t block this post. I’m sure you’d rather hear about my giant penis & all the hot women I’ve had sex with, but there are people hurting, so let’s give them a few moments of our time. Every life is worth saving.
I could tell you about all the physical & sexual abuse I endured. The deaths I’ve seen. The horrors I’ve endured. But thats my burden. Lets say your a rich kid who has been spoiled rotten & wanted for nothing. So what. Your mind can make any life seem unbearable. Even for a young child. Gay. Straight. Disabled. Black. White. Boy. Girl. Undecided. Fat. Ugly. Its all just labels. Are you going to let others label you? If I did that I’d never have accomplished anything. I define me. Inside you have a soul. This world is hard. For all of us. Including you. I can’t promise you even one other person will ever love you. But you can choose to love one other person. Or a hobby. Or a good deed. You just need one purpose to give your life meaning. Pick an animal shelter. Send them a few dollars a month. Find a good charity that helps children. Send them a few dollars a month. Now; without you, a child or kitten will have less to eat each month. Or write a kind letter. Find a person in the world who needs it. Don’t put your name on it. Mail it. Now you sent a gift of love to another without any chance of repayment. You’ve now made the world a better place. For most people; with a little effort, they can get better. Exercise. Therapy. Meds. Happy music. Happy TV. A hobby. Watch sports. Any interest. Young people can usually grow up & move out of their situation.
For others a disease constantly reduces their options. They have less & less chances to change their situation. Two people can be in the exact same situation. One chooses to be miserable. The other tries to be a light for the world.
One tiny light. But with enough tiny lights the whole world can be brightened. But that can be hard. If trying to help others overwhelms you, then stop. Its OK to be selfish if thats how you can survive. Some people are here to touch millions. Others need to focus on saving one precious life, their own. I have no idea why I was here. But I’ve made some positive contributions, even if others didn’t really want me here. As I lay dying once, my final prayer was for the entire world to be spared. All souls. I have no idea how I’m still here. But I can’t live forever. Eventually my disease will win. Poverty will crush me. I’m no angel. Just somebody the world didn’t want. But I loved it anyways.
So I read about a teen who couldn’t face the world anymore. It overwhelmed him. His mom is successful. She seems to have everything. But her son couldn’t see a place for him in this world. So he left. Thats sad. Think about that even a child with health & wealth can break. If he could break, all of us could. Read the news. Look at all the lives cut short. Pray for them. Pray for the loved ones they leave behind. I would like to give his mom a hug. She wanted to follow him. But I’m just a nobody the world doesn’t notice. Hopefully someone in her life will care enough to lift her up.
But that little boy was just one light darkened too soon. Many others are going out too. People need to reach out to them “before” they are gone.
I hope some of you can read this. I can’t afford to read the stories myself, so I hope at least one person decides to fight instead of quit.
As for myself. My body seems intent on failing me. But I’m going to try something. Maybe it will help me hang around a little longer. I hate hospitals. If your problem is in your mind instead of your body, don’t be ashamed. The brain is much more complex than any other part of the body. If a leg or arm is broken do you laugh? Do you mock someone in a wheel chair. How about a little person? The blind? Well then if your disability is in your mind, its no less real than a broke arm. In fact, its much worse. The brain is very complex. Don’t be afraid to see a therapists. Take meds. Go to a hospital for help. Old age or a disease will extinguish your light eventually. No reason to speed that up.
As a child they wrote me off. Yet here I am. Your what “you” decide. Your not the labels people put on you. Don’t look to me for guidance. Look in the mirror & help that person out. They need someone to care about them. So love yourself. If you love yourself, at least one person loves you.
I spent hours writing this. At least one person cared enough to do that for you. So you must matter.
Love.
😇
#hope #despair #depression #love #light
I screwed up my relationship and it ended because I was too scared to tell the truth. Unknowingly to me at the time I was suffering from depression, I got myself into debt and I couldn’t get out of it. Instead of telling my partner I tried to deal with it myself. My partner had a temper, often wouldn’t speak to me for days or weeks on end if I had upset him even though I didn’t know what it was I had done wrong. He never asked me if I was ok, he never took any interest in me and I was constantly walking on eggshells. None of this excuses what I did. He started spending time away from me, told me he wasn’t happy with our relationship anymore and I think he had met someone else but would never admit it. I desperately wanted our relationship to work but it was too late. Several months later, we were still living together and he found out about my debt, I didn’t tell him but he found out and hit the roof. My heart was pounding so fast I thought I was going to die, he wouldn’t listen to me and it was the worst night of my entire life. I often have flashbacks to that night and even just writing about it makes me so anxious. I left our home the next day, our relationship was over. He told everyone we knew what I had done, people spat at me in the street and rightfully blamed me for everything. I lost everything, my home, possessions and a big part of myself that I will never get back. Years have now passed and he’s moved on with his life, met someone new and sold our home. I can’t move on. I hate myself so much, I can’t forgive myself for what I did and I know that I am a bad person. I haven’t rebuilt my life, I still have nothing and no home of my own. I have depression and I realise now that I have had it for a long time. I paid my debt off which should have been a big relief but it wasn’t, I desperately want my old life back and I know that I will never get it back and that is my punishment. People think that I have shown no remorse but I feel it every second of every day. I deserve to have a miserable life, I am scum.
I masturbate, I didn't know it was a sin until I watched this movie, yes God yes,I am scared I don't know what to do.
#i #masturbate #depression #anxiety #disrespectful #jealous #low #self #esteem #anger
It's been a rough day and I feel so alone. I wish I didn't. I wish I knew someone could see it and cared but no one does, I've gotten very good at hiding it from everyone...
So I... had an affair with this guy some three years ago. Ugly as fuck, to be honest. Ok I mean, just really unattractive. Our relationship was essentially based on weed. Not that I didn't buy my own. But I would always use with him, just to have someone to smoke with, since I get really anxious when I do. I would smoke loads back then. Then I stopped buying it. 'cause I wanted to stop. But I kept visiting this man's house. We wouldn't have sex anymore, I was having sex with another guy, a friend of his actually. This other guy was kind of nice and really cares about me but I cut him out of my life 'cause he won't have sex with me anymore 'cause he thinks I'm desperate. Which I kind of am. My life is so dull 'cause I have no plans, no projects, no motivation. Aside from weed, I smoke cigarettes and drink, I don't drink too much but yeah, I'm kind of the addictive type you know. Most of all I was addicted, I still am, to these two men. And I'm also anorexic/bulimic, not too thin lately, and I've managed to stop the binging and purging, I'm making progress you know, but still no future, no education... I used to be in university. I was studying philosophy. I was the brightest student in my year, but I was always on drugs and when I started sleeping with these guys I pretty much gave up on everything else. I tried to launch a music career, so to speak. I mean, as I was hurting like a goddamn dog I started composing sad tunes on my guitar. I've been in therapy all my teen and adult life, I'm 23, it's been more than ten years, with different therapists. Maybe I'm gay, maybe I'm bisexual, maybe I'm a random nymphomaniac, narcissistic, shizotypical, borderline fucked up mess with daddy issues and a self-centred attitude and paranoia and bipolar depression and no friends, virtually zero people I trust. I have no idea what I am, it's not like I've been abused and furthermore I got tested and they say I have nothing, I'm just kind of above average intelligence-wise and particularly sensitive, that's what they say. I taught myself how to play piano in ten days and I can do some pretty impressive stuff and bla bla bla yeah I'm showing off. But really I'm just so sad. I dropped out of uni, anyhow. Oh, I said that already didn't I. And I masturbate almost daily but with a sense of disgust even. I don't enjoy any kind of porn anymore, and I don't even enjoy actual sex, I mean, I had a couple of really good fucks with these two guys but yeah who cares. And what kills me is I've been so in love with the second guy but I fucked up because I'm fucked up and now he's gone but it's been three years and I was his first girl so it was bound to happen wasn't it. Why shouldn't he want to be with someone normal who doesn't hit him when he doesn't want to have sex, someone who is not so whiny as I am, so bitter and self-centred and FUCK I wish I could turn back time or I just wish he could DIE sometimes I really do everything except move on with his life leaving me here in my ugly stinky rut. I'm so depressed I've gotten used to it but sometimes I get these glimpses of lucidity and they really hurt.
#life #sex #drugs #weed #future #depression #addiction #issues
I have been with my girlfriend for about 4 and a half years now. We started dating when we were in high school (i was 16 and she was just about to turn 16 in a few months). I love her more than anything in the whole world. But ever since we started dating, i lost contact with all my closest friends, both male and female. She always finds problems with them. I have been loyal to her, i never once thought about cheating.
I used to be known by everyone in my batch and the younger people. And had not one enemy because i was always friendly and kind and outgoing with people. And because of that, i was popular with people, even the teachers lived me even though im mischievous in class and school. Fuck it, even the principal knew me. Both me and my big brother who was graduated by then. I had a really good reputation and it’s not because i tried to, its because I genuinely was kind and caring while also being fun and mischievous and athletic! (I understand that i wasnt the smartest kid around). Where as my gf was mostly surrounded by 3 toxic friends who equally lacked the social skills but was feeding negative and toxic things into her mind. My girl is smart and beautiful and extremely talented in sports as well! But those friends of hers were lazy at studies, tries to act like they’re it and like they are princesses who know exactly how people are when they are just protected children who hasn’t interacted with people! (They genuinely thought that life always goes as it is in movies). They brought down her grades massively and were hiding behind my girl while she does the dirty work guided by the things they put into her mind. They are also to blame for her starting to think I’m cheating on her with other girls or doing things behind her back. My girlfriend also lacks the ability to empathize and understand people at all. I partly blame the fact that she has almost never been exposed to interacting with public and was always protected by her family. But she deeply cares and tries to protect the people closest to her. Hence, the reason she did the dirty work of those toxic friends of hers.
She told me to stop hanging out with the guys who always had my back, who have helped me even in the little things, the guys i used to have friendly rivalries in sports and gaming. They were my brothers and people who i have even considered to be my bestmen when i marry. And she knew that. But she made me to stop hanging out with them. For the littlest things, for inability to understand how boys are. Obviously boys act differently towards each other. That’s what friends are. Thats what makes us G’s. Some of my friends did warn me about her, that she and those 3 friends of hers have a bit of a bad reputation. But they all were really open to my feelings and genuinely gave her a chance and we’re friendly to her. I just wish she was the same. They were happy for me and didn’t want to do anything that would hurt my relationship badly. But when they saw that she just won’t stop with the misunderstanding and trying to push me away, they tried to do their best to pull me closer too. But none of them tried to force me out of the relationship, they all adviced me though. That i have 3 choices, fix the relationship and make her have a change of heart so i can hangout with my friends, break up with her, or let go of them. I obviously decided option 1. But sadly it didn’t work.
And from girls, there was one girl in my friend group that she hated for some little reasons. But i know if she actually tried to, they could have been really close. She was in a different class and some girls in my class were pretty popular as well. And as I mentioned, i was really close with my friends girls too. But i always kept my girlfriend above them. Even so, my girlfriend wanted me to completely stop talking to that girl she hates and she wanted me to be rude to her and hate her too. I obviously can’t do that, a bond i have cannot be just broken and turned into hate. I tried to fix the problem there and remove that hate as well. I wanted my girlfriend to see that the problem that’s there between them is a simple thing that can be fixed. But her pride and ego is too massive for her to let go. She pretended to try but didn’t put even 1% of effort in it. I gave as much effort as i can with her friends... but she didn’t. I never told her to stop talking to her friends. NEVER. I only advised her of the things I felt, and i asked her to think about it herself, she let them go only when they told her that she spends time with me more than them which is not true at all, they know it and she knows it... every person who knows about our relationship knew it’s a stupid reason to start treating her differently. So she let them go... so coming back to my story... this hate towards her the spread like a flame to the other girl in my class, which those toxic friends of hers had a massive role in. How am I supposed to stop completely talking to people in my own classroom? How am I supposed to let go of friends girl or boys who i have created a memories and strong bonds? They all tried to befriend my gf but she doesn’t try at all! In the end my teacher found out about relationship and advised me about it too but i was so blinded by love that i never listened to anyone! So i lost contact with my friends both girls and boys! We went to college where some of my closest friends went to, by then my girl did let me talk to them, but it’s as if we were acquaintances and not friends. And she still continued to judge people.
She even started these things with my family! I don’t think there is a single member in my family she hasn’t had an issue with! Even my baby cousin who just turned 4! My mother and father and brother too! Every single person! She tried to make me stay home when we planned family trips which we rarely ever get to go! But she goes on more than 20 trips a year! She doesn’t let me have time with my family bc i have to text her or call her! She blames me for her having a bad life in high school! She blames me for having a bad time in college! And now she’s having a bad time in uni. She acts as her and her family are the perfect people! And i have changed a lot! I was the most patient man you would ever meet... and i am patient towards people who aren’t my family. But I get upset quickly towards her and my family now. I dont have much fun memories in high school and at home, we’re at uni in a different country, most of my friends who were close to me dont know where i am no. I dont have social media other than one chatting app bc she made me delete them, i only have a few contacts saved on my phone. And recently when she gets angry she gets a bit physical. And she says i have changed a lot. But she never tried to understand why i have changed. She says that you only need 2 or 3 close friends. But the friends “we” have are choices of her own. She gets in the way of my decisions, where she thinks her advise is better than my own mothers. To avoid fights in my relationship and to stop a fight where she says i always choose others over her or where she says that i never take her side and say my family is always right, i follow her advise. And some of those have come back to haunt me. I sometimes think back to when i used to have fun with my friends. Or when i have fun with my family. It’s so sad, if she stopped her attitude, made the relationship we have more important to her than her pride and ego, thought of my family as her own and treated it equally, and just listen to me and trust my decisions as a man, we could make this work. She sometimes understands that she has an issue with anger. But that’s it. She says that her rude attitude is actually her being a genuine and real person. Which is bullshit. There is a line between being true and being rude which she doesn’t see. She says that she has an attitude and if i dont like it i can leave which she know that if i wanted to leave i would have gone a long time ago, she blames me for people thinking badly of her when I really tried and people really tried (and there are instances where I actually had some fake friends who were rude to her, i stood up for her and took her side. Which she doesn’t appreciate).
And I’m not an angel. I never said i was perfect, i was never said I haven’t done wrong. I have lied to her about things. But all of those lies were to hangout with my friends, or because I know she’ll freak out if i tell her, to avoid unnecessary arguments, to stop arguments. But i dont have friends to go hangout with anymore or play some games or anything. I still have to hide some little details about anything regarding females. Even if i said i had a casual conversation with a girl, I would end up in a fight. It has reduced though, she understands a bit more now. But with this rate of growth, i would be old and dead by the time she understands.
But I know she cares and loves me, she made a huge decision of giving up her medicine degree to do it later just because I couldn’t get in at the time as well. She helped me with my studies, she has stood up for me even to lecturers when i have been treated unfairly, sometimes secretly and sometimes without listening to me, because she knows that I’m too forgiving to people and too kind to people and sometimes they abuse that about me. She has made sure and advised me to not let people walk all over me just because I’m too kind and forgiving and i know if I’m hurt or injured she’ll put away everything to come for me... I truly do lover her... i couldn’t stand to leave her, i want her and need her but I just want her to understand me, who I am and what i need. I always try my best to keep her happy. I don’t want to leave her.
WHAT SHOULD I DO?!
#relationship #toxic #advise #depression #sadness #needhelp #help #love #cheating #relationshipproblems
I am very depressed. I have lost all of my friends since I started high school just 7 months ago any my mom dad and sister are abusive. I am the oldest and I get walked all over and my parents are extremely mentally abusive. I would never report anything as i am scared of what would happen. My best friend is going to leave me as soon as she moves home from over seas and I'm worried. I don't have any friends and i could really use a boyfriend to help but i feel like i would just be better served dead.
I'd cut with a razor blade I got from tech class. I took it home, I cut in my ankle. It did this 6-7 times. One time when I was visiting my mom, (she had known about my depression). I was crying. I was saying I wasn't a good person which I still think I'm not. That's when she noticed the cuts. I was in a fetal position. My scars were completely noticeable at that time and I was wearing flip-flops. My mom wants me on medication, but I've seen what that's done to people. So when I was leaving my mom to go back to my dad, she told me I was faking depression for attention. In the car she told me I was trying to show her my scars, faking my anxiety attacks sometimes panic attacks and my depression all together,
I have aspergers, therefore I'm awkward around everyone. All the time. Truthfully I'm just tired of every conversation. No ones ever gonna love me. Idk that I will see tomorrow.
I just recently got out of a relationship that was going for a year and a half. Within that relationship we only ever had sex 3 times. Now I’m trying to get anything or anyone I can. I hate it. I hate feeling like this. I want sex but I also want to actually feel something. But anyone I feel something with just leaves.
I've made an online friend;
She's 2 years younger than me, she's not legal yet. I'm 18 and she's 16. (Shes straight)
About a year ago, we started fighting, she doesn't know why. But I do.
I'm jealous of her boyfriends, her friends, her family.
I love her, I've started loving her ever since I was 15. I keep fighting with her because I cant keep hiding my jealousy.
I'm drowning in my sins.
I'm lesbian, my family is christians. They said they'd disown me if I was gay.
I cry everynight.
Why cant I hold you?
Why cant I love you?
Why cant I just confess
All my stress would rest,
I love you. I'd die for you.
#unforgiveable #love #undying #depression #online #gay #lesbian #secret #family #jealous #jealousy
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