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Read the best #depression confession stories
I have a tendency to push away people. I lost all emotions, my heart turned cold, I lost interest in a lot of things. Sometimes i feel alone. I've been trying to figure out why. I Just can't find the answer.
"If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed". I'm other words question these b.s. confessions at least before thinking that they're real
I don't care if someone shoots me through the chest, or stabs me, or if a car hits me. I want to die
My (m.29 at the time) fiancé (f. 28 at the time) died 2 years ago, we were together for 9 years. It happened out of the blue and we didn't see it coming. Ever since then i've gotten so depressed and lost myself so much from the person i used to be that i'm not sure she would still love me. I've started having panic attacks over the silliest things about my own health (i.e., think i'm having a heart attack, stroke, ect...) with no reason to believe that those things are happening or could. I tried going to therapy not long after she had passed away, but i didn't like the doctor, he just felt really robotic and like he was reading from a script, so i stopped going, and haven't done anything about it since. i'm not sure if it's survivors guilt or something, but i almost don't care to take care of myself for reasons i can't exactly pinpoint. i don't want to talk to my parents or friends or other family about my mental health situation because i know it would just upset them and make them sad for me and i don't want to do that to them. sometimes i just want to pack the most basic of belongings and just disappear out of their lives and maybe they'd just forget about me and i can have a do over with my life. i don't think i ever would, but i think about it a lot.
I screwed up my relationship and it ended because I was too scared to tell the truth. Unknowingly to me at the time I was suffering from depression, I got myself into debt and I couldn’t get out of it. Instead of telling my partner I tried to deal with it myself. My partner had a temper, often wouldn’t speak to me for days or weeks on end if I had upset him even though I didn’t know what it was I had done wrong. He never asked me if I was ok, he never took any interest in me and I was constantly walking on eggshells. None of this excuses what I did. He started spending time away from me, told me he wasn’t happy with our relationship anymore and I think he had met someone else but would never admit it. I desperately wanted our relationship to work but it was too late. Several months later, we were still living together and he found out about my debt, I didn’t tell him but he found out and hit the roof. My heart was pounding so fast I thought I was going to die, he wouldn’t listen to me and it was the worst night of my entire life. I often have flashbacks to that night and even just writing about it makes me so anxious. I left our home the next day, our relationship was over. He told everyone we knew what I had done, people spat at me in the street and rightfully blamed me for everything. I lost everything, my home, possessions and a big part of myself that I will never get back. Years have now passed and he’s moved on with his life, met someone new and sold our home. I can’t move on. I hate myself so much, I can’t forgive myself for what I did and I know that I am a bad person. I haven’t rebuilt my life, I still have nothing and no home of my own. I have depression and I realise now that I have had it for a long time. I paid my debt off which should have been a big relief but it wasn’t, I desperately want my old life back and I know that I will never get it back and that is my punishment. People think that I have shown no remorse but I feel it every second of every day. I deserve to have a miserable life, I am scum.
I'm lonely. Well... all my friends make fun of me and don't realize I'm hurting. Everyone says I'm depressed but don't make an effort to help. My friend says I have depressed written on my forehead. And they push me around like I'm a little bitch. But when I get tired of it I make comments like 'i dont care' 'yeah sure' 'okay' and i mumble them then they stop. So sometimes I try and ignore them and just sit in the corner and not talk to anyone but I always manage to begin talking to them again because I'm just a social person with no friends. I have one good friend. What do I do?
I betrayed my friend under the pretence that I have her best interests in heart but I really want her to suffer.
My stepfather introduced me to the daughter of one of his colleagues, Annie. For a little over a year she and I have gotten closer, in fact our relationship is flawless we get along almost too well. I started following her on social media a year ago as well and her posts are well disturbing to say the least. Black and white photos, mentions of suicide, murder, psychosis, pictures of black roses with morbid poetry, 30 photos of her lips taken close up with black lipstick, pictures from The Shining, Tim button themed eeriness and lyrics from death metal songs. She told me she was goth, in the beginning I tolerated his strange all of this was. It wasn’t my business nor my concern. It got worsened. It suddenly started to pester me quite a bit, that she was romanticizing mental illnesses this much. I never realized when my bitterness took over my love for her. I was talking to a friend about her once when I just called her a creep, later I felt disgusted of myself. Once I reported one of her posts and barely regretted it. Another time, following my own suicide attempt I grew frustrated and asked her what she got out of acting so depressed all the time. Truth me told I was jealous. I was jealous that this seemingly privileged girl could act out however she pleased while I suffered in silence. I was jealous that unlike her I had to act okay. I was jealous that despite all the abuse I’ve put up with throughout my life, I had to smile and be strong, while someone else was allowed to let themselves fall apart in the face of the smallest inconvenience. Today I caved in and told my mother to inform my stepfather, to inform Annie’s parents, that I’m concerned for her wellbeing and am concerned that she is suffering from severe depression and may harm herself (my evidence being her posts). My objective is actually the hope that her actions will be met with consequence. That she’ll stop her dark and annoying posts. That she’ll stop expressing herself so much in that negative sense. I know I’m a horrible person for wanting to hurt my friend in this way. I am a horrible person and I don’t deserve her friendship. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know why I did it or why it matters. I hate myself and I don’t need or want pity. I can’t help but ask, what is wrong with me? why do I keep hurting people? why do I get satisfaction from it? Why do I feel like a demon.
#goth #emo #demon #depression #snitch #romanticism
I'm a 12 year old girl. I deal with severe depression to the point were I started cutting myself on thighs, as if it would make me prettier or stronger. In school the teachers would let me leave so I could go breakdown in the bathroom. It happened ALL the time. I remember it happening in the middle of class when a teacher called me up to solve the problem on the board, and I have ADHD so I can't pay attention cause I'm thinking of ways to kill myself. I started crying up at the board and she just told me to go sit down. After school ended, I met this girl. Let's call her Leslie, she was a fellow lesbian so I thought hey since she makes me so happy why not tell her my deep feelings, and so I did. She then told me she had a girlfriend at that moment my heart instantly broke, the next week I called her I was about to hang myself. She talked me out of it. And to this day I still have depression, anxiety, and ADHD. Thank you and I bid thee goodbye.
i dont know why i am living in this world.Sometimes i feel to suscide.whenever i do something i only get caught everytime.I use to see my classmates bunking college every friday as we use to come out frim college to school but once i thought of bunking.i left the school but told my grandma i will be coming home as i am having fever (although its a lie) i came out prayed and thought to go and play csgo (a game of steam) it took me1 hour to play it and left home but when i came home the school mentor called at home saying rayyan is not at home.now you what happened to me
I've fallen so behind on all my school work I just hate myself for it. My anger issues have returned after being controlled for 3 years. I fell like a failure after all my low grades. I'm trying to get into a school with one third acceptance rate but I know I won't get there if I can't get my shit together. I feel like shit. I wish I knew what I was doing. I need to see my therapist again. At this point, I feel defeated and like I'll just settle for a university I know I'll get into. There, I'll at least have maybe somewhat of a chance to explore my sexuality. I'm just trying to be optimistic. Its kinda awful to be optimistic given my circumstances, but there's nothing else to do. If I don't have that, then I won't care. So maybe I will kiss a guy if I ultimately fail at life this year. At least there's that.
I don't think I am good enough for anyone. I put my guard up in intimate relationships and find it easier to talk to friends. The only way to feel value is when I can help them through a tough time. It makes me feel useful and that I can have a purpose in life.
The last few months I've been working out and trying to get skinny. I can't even look myself in the mirror without crying.
So im a 16 year old with a girlfreind and i think i should leave her she told me i was abusive but she wants to stay with me and i love her i dont mean to hurt her i really dont she means the world to me and idk what to do i think i should leave her but idk i need help
I feel like I'm useless yet I don't have depression, I sometimes just wanna talk to my friends but I feel like they all hate me especially one person. I have to spend the next few days with her and I seriously think she hates me. God, I wanna die
I am just about out of hope. I feel like my last chance is getting electro convulsive therapy, if that doesn't help I will just kill myself because I can't live like this anymore.
I am always sad and want nothing to do with my school friends or friends that I have made through cheer. I used to be the person who was always doing something and never wanted to be home. I was constantly surrounded by people and friends. Ever since I started high school, that has all changed. I lost all of my close friends and no I find myself playing with my pets and doing nothing but going to practice. Its sad because I want to be back to my super social life and have all my friends back but everyone seems to hate me. I have thought about killing myself due to the amount of mean comments and things being said about my by people I thought were my friends. I am most certainly depressed but I don't want to talk to my parents about it because they are very abusive.
I am a 26 y/o bisexual female living in the Bible Belt. I've always been equally attracted to both genders. However, I've never acted on any of my female attractions or told anyone about them. I am currently in a 7 year hetero relationship w/ my boyfriend. I love him so much, but I'm falling for another woman. I don't know what to do. I drink alone until I become numb, and the apathy sets in. It's gotten so bad that the numbness, the apathy has taken over my sober hours as well. What the fuck am I supposed to do?
I am just sick of being rejected and not being good enough. I have people around me all the time, but I'm just very lonely. I have a lot of troubles, and with all this new mess pilling up, I'm afraid it's sending me into depression and I don't know what to do. I'm scared to open up to someone because they wont understand it, take it seriously. Talk about it with other people. But I'm scared if I don't, I might lose it. I keep crying out loud, but people think I'm joking. At this point no one takes me seriously. Maybe I'm not worth fighting for.
#depression #sad #lonely
I confess I am and always will be in love with two women. One who is truly my best friend, partner and the mother of my child. The other is the most passionate, complex and hopelessly broken woman I have ever known.
I am with and will be faithful to my partner. She has stayed by my side through good times and bad. When I see her smile I'm as giddy as I was the day I mustered the courage to ask her out and she said yes, all those years ago. She is my soulmate.
The other was the one who wasn't meant to be. The one who loved me with all her tortured heart. The one I couldn't imagine living without athough I knew I could never be the strength she needed. The one whose soul was crushed along with mine when we parted ways, when I ended our relationship. The one whose perfume I still smell when I pass the spot where we first kissed. Whose sweet voice I'll hear until the day I draw my last breath.
I will always feel I am betraying my partner when the memories of the other push their way into my mind unbidden.
Confessions by confessionstories.org
