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I have a boyfriend that disrespects me in my parents house and I just get so angry. I cant really say anything because my parents really like him. But he makes me so angry that i just wanna break down because i suffer from anxiety and depression and i really love him but whenever he's mad, he always disrespecting me and saying so many rude comments. Does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do!???
The last few months I've been working out and trying to get skinny. I can't even look myself in the mirror without crying.
I've fallen so behind on all my school work I just hate myself for it. My anger issues have returned after being controlled for 3 years. I fell like a failure after all my low grades. I'm trying to get into a school with one third acceptance rate but I know I won't get there if I can't get my shit together. I feel like shit. I wish I knew what I was doing. I need to see my therapist again. At this point, I feel defeated and like I'll just settle for a university I know I'll get into. There, I'll at least have maybe somewhat of a chance to explore my sexuality. I'm just trying to be optimistic. Its kinda awful to be optimistic given my circumstances, but there's nothing else to do. If I don't have that, then I won't care. So maybe I will kiss a guy if I ultimately fail at life this year. At least there's that.
This is really not a sin, more like something I wanted off my chest and to be honest about. So I have a best friend and she is going through a really difficult time. She has depression and social anxiety and ever since she told me I have tried to be positive about it and support her as much as I can. I always believed and still believe that she will overcome this phase of her life. But recently the positive feelings that I shared towards her has really diminished and I blame her, even though it's not entirely her fault. She told me a month back that she actually had a romantic crush on me during our high school days . It came as a huge shock to me as I had no idea about it. I felt honoured but sad at the same time that I could not return her feelings. Also, I understood the fact that she was just trying to come clean but...the fact that she told me this kind of makes me angry. Because ever since she told me , I have had to be careful. Before her confession, I didn't think twice before telling her I love you or even going as far as inventing our ship names. But now I can't go back to how I was with her and I blame her. After that , due to her fragile state she always calls me if something troubles her and I feel duty bound to pick up her call. Recently I was on a trip with my family and while on the road she called me and she was crying. I got so worried that I made my family stop the motorbike I was riding and talked to her. As usual it was a silly reason that triggered her off. But I understood all that . I do get it so I didn't complain, no matter how much she called me or get paranoid over the smallest things. But two days back, she called me threatening to harm herself and I didn't know what to do. I tried to stop her by yelling at her , begging and then crying. But she just told me to tell her parents that she had done it and disconnected the call. Frantically and crying all the while I called her family to inform them. Thankfully she was hospitalised and is okay now. It wasn't that serious and she knew what she was doing as she is actually studying medical. After that I talked to her sister about it and she told me that everything that she was doing recently was somehow manifesting itself in the form of seeking attention from others and later when I talked to her she even confessed to it by saying she won't do it twice as the second time she won't receive any sympathy. I didn't know what to say to that. So I didn't. I am going to meet her day after tomorrow but to be honest I don't want to. I feel like I have lost all the warm feelings I had towards her. I still wish the best for her and want her to be okay soon. But I will be lying to myself if I don't admit that I think I have lost my best friend. Although I do know that right now she needs to find herself more than I need to find my best friend. I know I am being selfish but I really don't want to pretend any more. I am just so tired of it all and specially her. Nothing feels genuine any more and I really don't know what to do anymore.
I have a tendency to push away people. I lost all emotions, my heart turned cold, I lost interest in a lot of things. Sometimes i feel alone. I've been trying to figure out why. I Just can't find the answer.
Sometimes I write suicide notes and hide them in my room until I can leave them on my desk before I overdose on pills.
I feel like I'm useless yet I don't have depression, I sometimes just wanna talk to my friends but I feel like they all hate me especially one person. I have to spend the next few days with her and I seriously think she hates me. God, I wanna die
"If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed". I'm other words question these b.s. confessions at least before thinking that they're real
I have aspergers, therefore I'm awkward around everyone. All the time. Truthfully I'm just tired of every conversation. No ones ever gonna love me. Idk that I will see tomorrow.
I over think things. One wrong comment and my day is ruined. I suffer from depression and I have no idea why. Nobody bullys me or hurts me. But I hurt myself. I need help. I'm never anyone's first choice and nobody cares anyway. I also have social anxiety. I try to talk to people but end up having panic attacks. I'm always thinking of hurting myself in one way or another. Even suicide. Nobody notices how broken and alone I am. I'm surrounded by people but alone at the same time.
Ive done cocaine, I smoke weed and I'm addicted to tobacco. This is to take away the ongoing pain, I don't know what's wrong with me but I just have this pain and it won't stop. I even hear voices sometimes.
I don't really have a goal in life, I ve helped taking care of my family all my life, I feel that, when my mom and sick uncle are not longer around, the only thing left for me is make sure my niece and nephew are well taken care of and then kill my self
I highly resent my oldest stepson and secretly count down the days until he leaves for college in 7 years
#bottling #hate #stepson #college #depression
When I was moving to secondary school I had plenty of friends and was always the centre of attention but as soon as I moved to secondary I started to fade away like nobody notice me so at the time I thought it would be a great idea to fake my depression/suicidal thoughts to get attention I would post on social media about how I wanted to die and that nobody cared about me anymore. And it worked I was getting a lot of attention and I loved it until my childhood best friend who meant a lot to me went and told my parents I know she was only doing it to protect me but the only reason I stated doing this so she would give me more attention, I felt like shit my parents asked me why I was posting this stuff and I couldn’t tell them the real reason because I was to embarrassed and I thought they would hate me for it so I just told them that I was being bullied. I said that I was being picked on by 4 boys which I kinda was but it was only inside jokes they would call me 4 eyes and pick on me put we always saw it as a joke so I just blamed it on that, and it worked my parents told the school about the boys and they were punished and I felt so bad I actually thought about killing myself but after all this my parents took me out of school to home school me this was the worst point of my life.
My best friend slowly drifted from me I was losing all my friends and I had no one left, my parents put me into therapy (it didn’t work because there was nothing to work on). A whole year goes by of me being home schooled I’m trapped indoors most of the time because my parents won’t let me go out and I couldn’t use social media anymore so I had no way of contacting my best friend, at this point my mental state started deteriorating I was going insane until I finally snapped and ran away. I wasn’t gone for long as I had no where to go but the first place I went to was to go see my best friend she lived quite close to me so it wasn’t really a problem so I went to go see her but she didn’t want to see me I was confused until I talked to another close friend of mine and released that the whole school knew I was faking my depression for attention my heart sank because I knew that everybody would hate me now and I would lose everyone. After all this I went home and my parents were talking to the police because they were scared that I was gonna try kill myself, when I got inside the house my parents told me that they are sending me to hospital to be put on suicidal watch i didn’t want to go but I had to while I was there I saw my phone in my mothers bag and I grabbed it to try msg my best friend and explain things but when I logged into Instagram I saw hate groups mate for me saying that I should actually kill myself I felt awful but what made me hate myself even more is the fact that my best friend had blocked me and sent me a message saying that she wanted nothing to do with me my heart sank. I had lost everything I had nothing left I just wanted the pain that I caused to end so I stood up and ran to the canteen, the canteen didn’t have anything sharp in it other than the knifes they were not to sharp to stop people from killing themselves but I made it work I grabbed one and ran to the toilets I quickly locked the door some of the nurses noticed what i was doing and tried kicking down the door, I tried slitting my throught with the knife but it wouldn’t go deep enough and by the time I managed to make the knife sharp enough they had already broken down the door I was taken away from there and put into a mental hospital where I have stayed for 4 years I don’t know what my ex friends are up to now but all I know is they don’t care about me anymore no one does and it’s all my fault I only wanted my best friend to show me more attention because deep down I loved her but I was to afraid to tell her.
Sorry about the really bad English and grammar I haven’t really learned much seeing as most of my time as been spent in this hell hole my hour on the phone is nearly up so I got to go but if I was to give you a life lesson do not fake mental illness for attention it completely fucked up my life and I don’t think i will ever be able to reedem myself goodbye
And Izzy if your reading this I’m sorry I always loved you but I was to afraid to say it maybe in another life I wouldn’t be so selfish and just puck up the corage to ask you out.
#depression #bestfriend #love #suicidal #suicide #attention #fake
I want to shoot myself in the fucking mouth. I can't do anything right and I'm not good enough for my girlfriend. I just want it all to end
I think having no one to talk to for like a year and a half has warped me. Now I’m going days and days without sleep. I think i leave comments because that’s my only human interaction. I type to myself.
But If no one wants to listen to me, or talk to me. And I’m confused and not sleeping, then no one wants to read my foolishness anyways. I’m going to try to just stop unless it’s important. I doubt it last an hour.
In 2018 when I was 13 I met someone on discord. We were really close that we knew everything about each other. One day in the middle of the night she told me that I was a slut and a whore for texting her boyfriend even tho I'm lesbian. And told me that I'm just a fat fucking loser and I should die for what I did. Days after that she messaged me again saying she was sorry and wants to be friends again. I forgave her cause I didn't want her to yell at me again. Weeks later she messaged again saying she wants to end her life and asked for my help. I tried helping her....I tried. For a week I was trying to help her by giving her the hotline number, professionals to talk to, websites she can go to for help but she said no for each one. Then the last day I talked to her she told me that I cant never help her and that I was still a slut and whore. That I need to die with her too. Then she just stopped texting me. All her friends blocked me when she disappeared. At the time I didn't even know if she even did it. I'm 16 now and her ex-boyfriend messaged me weeks ago saying that she was alive and just wanted me to kill myself for a dare......now she haunts me in my dreams. I have depression cause of her, anxiety cause of her.....everything cause of her.
#depression #sad #discord
About a month ago, I had a miscarage. I’ve only told my parents and husband about it and they’ve asked me if I was okay. I keep telling them I am and to not say anything to anyone else because it won’t change anything. But the truth is I was never okay to start with and i cry whenever I’m alone and no one can see it.
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