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I am filled with anger. Anger that is slowly bleeding away to hate.
Everyone is so fucking busy blaming and blamming each other into the dirt. Nobody either seems to or wants to understand, that regardless of your age, sex, gender identity, whatever label you proudly slap onto your chest, that we're all people just trying to get to the next fucking day.
You ever catch yourself wishing for super powers or magic? Doesn't matter how old you are, everybody does it from time to time.
Every time I come back to the same thing: Someone the entire world can rally together against. Of course it would never work and it's a fucking pipe dream, but it only fuels my fucking hate for the people around me.
I don't have high expectations. In fact they're rather simple. Survive, help others survive, get to that next sunrise, then figure it all out again, with the only ever present constant being that we, Humanity, are stuck on this goddamn dirtball TOGETHER.
But the only ones interested in saying anything like that only care about the audience they'll bring. The "clicks and the views" WOOOOO.
Fuck them.
And fuck you if you're one of them.
This will likely be buried in the sands of time. Sure maybe one or two, shit I might even get lucky and twenty whole people will see it.
But will it change anything? Will it get anyone to think? No. Because I'm either:
Alt-right because I don't agree with someone.
Alt-left because I don't agree with someone.
A Nazi, because I don't agree with someone.
Whatever fucking low budget brain label these fucksticks want to stick because I don't agree that there is one bad side and one good side.
And if you are one of those people, I just have a small, tiny, itty bitty criticism for you:
You're ALL FUCKING TERRIBLE.
YOU'RE A FUCKING STUPID.
YOU'RE NOTHING BUT FUCKING POTS AND PANS CALLING EACH OTHER BLACK.
YOU'RE BEING LITERALLY MURDERED IN THE STREETS BUT RATHER THAN CASTIGATE THE ONES RESPONSIBLE, YOU WANNA FUCKING GIVE IT LABELS AND MEAN SOMETHING MORE THAN IT FUCKING DOESN'T AND IT DRIVES ME TO FUCKING HATE EACH AND EVERY LAST FUCKING ONE OF YOU THAT PARTICIPATES IN THIS STUPIDITY AND YOU'RE ALL FUCKING ADDICTED TO DOPAMINE.
ADDICTED TO THAT LITTLE FUCKING PAT ON THE BACK. FUCK YOU
I'm going to die soon. The stress of being in this fucking world actively agitates bodily damage I've sustained and sicknesses I've suffered throughout life. I'm going to die, filled with hate for Humanity, all because these stupid fucks can't figure their shit out and that inability is going to be the fucking cause.
It's not everyone. There are those out there. The outliers. You know who you are.
And before anyone freaks the fuck out, I'm not acting out above kicking a shrubbery or two in my own yard.
These people, however much they fucking enrage me and fill me with hate and EMBARRASSMENT for being related to you on a genological level, are above wasting my time on aside making a random post on the internet nobody will fucking care about.
I don't think I deserve forgiveness.
I just want people to know.
However few.
So my fiancé who has 4 kids with someone else (we have 7 together ) but anyway I feel like since he has so many kids with this woman she thinks they are together still. They have a parenting plan and they meet up to exchange the kids 2 times a week and they are always alone and for some odd reason I feel like he is in love with her still and also I feel like he like leads her on to making her think that he loved her still. I don’t even know what goes on behind closed dooors with her.
All I want to do it be in love and have a wife that loves me . I’ve been stuck in a loveless marriage for 13 years , I just Turned 30 and I look and feel the best I ever have I work out and show my wife love looking for it in return . She just ignores me and doesn’t try to make her self better then me .
It also scares the shit outta me that I’ve been with my wife since I was 16 and never had the chance to experience having sex with anyone else and that I probably will die only knowing her loveless sexual encounters .
Not really a sin, I’m just pining for a guy that seems to have zero interest in me. I feel like he looks at me and sees a completely unsexual being. He talks about “hot girls” to me like I’m his bro. It sucks cause I met him at a time where I’m just really not looking or feeling like my true self. I’ve been going through some crazy shit. I used to be so pretty and happy and people had crushes on ME. I wasnt mean to the ppl or anything but definitely friendzoned my fair share. Now it’s like the universe is making fun of me and put me in the shoes of someone that once liked me. I cant help but think if he knew the old me instead of the now, he’d like me back.. it’s not fair he’ll never really know the me I wish he could and the me I wish I still was. Maybe my sinning was not making the most of how was I back in the day or not giving people more of a chance. Sorry universe. Forgive me?
I miss my ex wife. Miss my kids. I’d just quit taking my meds & let body die but they still need me.
#sad
This will sound so stupid, but I have to tell someone...
I am an adult woman (31), with an adult job and an adult life. But I still like to read fanfiction. I read all different types of fanfiction, everything I find interesting at the moment. My newest and most current obsession is about a band. I read a lot fanfiction about them the last couple of months.
But I finished one story yesterday that fucked me up.. One of the band members died at the end. It was a beautifully written story and everything, but I got so sad and I still am. As if he really died! I cried for hours and now I feel like I am grieving.
But why am I writing this... today, it was announced that the band member's sister died last night! I am so devastated for him and it breaks my heart in ways I cannot even explain. He doesn't even know I exist, that's crazy...
#crazy #obsession #fanfiction #obsessed #stories #death #sad #devastated
I was 16 my sister, 18 and i were home alone when she walked in on me masturbating. I did not know she was watching. then she jumped and put her dildo in me. at first, it hurt but then it felt soooo good. then she got my vibrator and used it on me. i came in her mouth. she started sucking on my clit like a pacifier. she pulled my hair. then she had me do all the same to her. when continued to do this for a whole year. until she went to college. ever since she left i have became suicidal and had to go to the hospital 2 times for attempted suicide, 5 to get stitches, and a mental facility 11 times. my parents still dont know and they will never ever ever ever know.
Im very depressed but I make people laugh. Its hard to be funny when your sad. But hearing someone laugh at my jokes make me happy. People don't understand how hard it is to be a comedian emotionally.
I'm pregnant!
I'm pregnant by my boyfriend of 5 years. We live together and are in love. It was an accident and a shock as we use birth control. I've never been pregnant before and I've always wanted to be a mom.
We talk about having kids all the time after he graduates, but now's not the time. We're poor, like dirt poor. He's in college and we both have crap jobs.
I haven't told anyone but him. So this will be only time telling someone else. Because I'm getting an abortion Saturday. I'm doing my best not to get attached or think about it.
I'm really sad.
So I had a neighbour until yesterday... He moved out... So here it is we used to come on terrace at the same time and stayed there till one of us left ... We never talked heck we don't even know each other's name but I was getting attached to this routine I mea. We did that for one and a half year but yesterday when he was moving out I cried really hard.... I wanted him to atleast say something but I guess it was just one sided... I knew he was gonna move one day but when he did I literally died inside .... Is it normal am I stupid to get obsessed about this one....
All those hurtful things you did to me, changed me for the better. All the names you called me and the terrible things you said. It made me rise up and I became better than you. I’m the better person. And I won. You think you won because I walked away, but I walked away so it didn’t get worse. And. I don’t love you either. I can’t stand you. You’re a terrible man and you know it.
i feel like i’m just not a good person. that i could always do things better, that i create trouble and hurt people instead of being the ones to remove their troubles away. i always think i’m helping people and that they must think i’m nice but in reality i’m probably have little value in their life and don’t even contribute that much. i don’t know why i have such low view of myself, but now i do even more because i realize i made a lot of mistakes. im so mediocre.
I got real sick. Nearly died. Fought back. Looked good. Divorce because her mom wanted it. My kids have paid for it. Depression. Not learning. The disabled one is doing terrible. I’ve been keeping their home fixed but was told kids would do better without me. That wasn’t so.
So she call me in. Disabled child having seizures. I help stabilize. He’s rarely seen me for couple of years.
The ex; I & kids had a ball for weeks. I got my disabled child to finally cheer up and laugh. He’s been talking to me about all the things we used to do.
He’s called me in to tuck him out. South him to sleep. Finally called me daddy again. Won’t call her mom.
She is a wonderful person. But she’s very sick. It looked like she’d die. I gave her all I had to help. I gave her advice from fighting my own disease that helped stabilize her for now.
She decided I’d start splitting time here once he was better.
Well she went on vacation with her mom. I wanted time alone with him to help him.
She calls a week later. I’ll have to move back to the other state. Her mom convinced her this isn’t fair to me.
I refuse not to love and pray for her mom. But what an ass hat. We had a happy marriage & family. She destroyed that. Every time we almost reconcile she ruins it.
Thing is she’s married. Doesn’t need our help. But she wants my ex as her personal servant.
Oh well. I gave up. God dealt me a lot of bad cards. I did the best I could.
Love just isn’t enough.
I have to be honest. I don’t think God loves or cares about me. I just can’t see proof. But I’ll serve my family and love the world anyways.
#sad
I am just sick of being rejected and not being good enough. I have people around me all the time, but I'm just very lonely. I have a lot of troubles, and with all this new mess pilling up, I'm afraid it's sending me into depression and I don't know what to do. I'm scared to open up to someone because they wont understand it, take it seriously. Talk about it with other people. But I'm scared if I don't, I might lose it. I keep crying out loud, but people think I'm joking. At this point no one takes me seriously. Maybe I'm not worth fighting for.
#depression #sad #lonely
I came out of a long and dark period of my life, finally on the up and happy. About 7-8 months back i changed jobs to what i now wanna make my career, i also met an amazing person there. I would consider her a good friend who helped me thru some stuff and helped me think things thru differently. Shes everything i ever dreamed of in a woman, smart, funny, aggressive, and down to earth. Most of all she made me feel cared about and that i matter to someone. I thought she would feel the same since we both went thru similar horrors and horrible things and because we get along so well. A month ago i confessed i liked her and she rejected me without a hesitation. Im not upset about that or really hurt.. just bummed. I started to sit back and look at it differently. Shes a one sided friend who really is only concerned about herself and actually doesnt care what im going thru as long as im there to listen to her problems. I come home to a mom who destroyed my family, up to my head in debt, dont have any friends or social skills, and my only best friend decided to walk out of my life 2 months back. Theres more but why would i bore you, picture painted that im isolated from the world living a horrible life. I thought i was happy, i thought i finally got out from the sadness, finally found a friend who genuinely cared about me..
i feel like I don’t belong to this world, i dont think about killing myself but i do think about how much no one would miss me if i did just drop dead. That i would just be a passing thought once and never thought of or missed after. My depression has me gripped by the throat and im struggling
I’ve dealt with these feelings since i was 15(26 now), and i just wanna know what true happiness is, what true friendship is, what true love is. Im tired of being tired, abused, lied to, and taken advantage of
I pray everyday just to feel the happiness i felt when i thought i beat this depression
#sad #depression #unhappy
Ever since I was about 14, I knew I was bisexual. Then, when I told my crush that I liked her on my 16'th birthday, she gave a cold slap of rejection. Tears ran down my face that day, and I felt like taking my life. I ran to a private area I found out, and let loose my tears.
Depression runs through my family, and I never told my mom about how depressed I was. I put on a mask to hide behind - pretending to be a happy and carefree kid. Inside, I was deeply depressed, and easily broken at the slightest of yells. I actually remember my mom yelling at me for accidentally knocking down a vase, and when she left tears dripped down my face.
I have attempted suicide at least 4 times already, but all those times I've bailed out. I've tried overdosing on my daily medication, self harm, and even hanging. All those times I could not have done it, yet I still had a pitting feeling of pain in my gut.
I have read several stories online about suicide, and how they were prevented. I've never actually called the suicide hotline, because there was always someone around me. Now, I deeply regret not talking about it to someone, especially my family.
I am older now, midway through College, and still coping through depression behind a curtain. A curtain which hides away my problems from others, but not myself. I have tried talking to the Suicide Prevention Hotline, which has withered away parts of the depression.
#depression #gay #sad #bisexual
I'm 19. I've been living with depression for 10 years and every day is a struggle. As a result of being barely able to function, I've barely finished a three year culinary highschool (In my country you finish elementary school at the age of 15 and then you choose a profession and go to school accordingly. Three year professions are the shitty ones and you cant go to college to them), and I'm a chef that cant cook and hates his profession. I have no job and I'm not qualified for anything besides slaving in a kitchen.
I want to do another year of highschool so I could go to college but my education is too shit so there's no way that I can pass math and french.
I have no money, no job, no friends, no girlfriend, I'm fat and my dad hates me while my mom sees me as a disappointment. I haven't achieved a single thing that I could be proud of. I'd be happy to kill myself but I don't want to burden my family with an expensive funeral.
I'm forced to watch my life crumble and to live in poverty while all the people I know achieve things that are out of my grasp.
I'm scared.
#sad #depressed #depression #confession #failure #help #disappointment
So every time my brother gets mad, he becomes this hateful demon. Hes an ass to my mom dad and every one else. Hes only like this at home or in public when hes super pissed. He says the meanest shit sometimes, but every time I make him really mad I fear for my life. Hes told me hes had murderous thoughts and the things he does really anger me. I honestly dont know if hes a good person bad or both.... im just confused why is this happening to my already sick mother? How much time will pass before he realizes how wrong he is? Will he ever?
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