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For years now I puke my guts out and no one knows about it.
Everyone thinks I am fine and healthy while I hate myself, I just can't be disciplined. Everyone thinks I am happy but I am not.
#despair #puke #guts #healthy #fine #hate #disciplined #confession #happy #secret
I highly resent my oldest stepson and secretly count down the days until he leaves for college in 7 years
#bottling #hate #stepson #college #depression
I pretend to care about people I meet and my friends, but frankly I've been hurt and scarred so much that I don't care much for their happiness. If anything I'm resentful and bitter that they are happy and I'm suffering.
I (28 male) am really annoyed by my friends. We are apparently at an age where everyone of us should start a family and have children. They do not talk about anything else. Babies here, relationship goals there, kids are so important for a partnership. Blablahblahblah.
They get on my nerves. Really. I want to build a reputation and get a steady career going on before even ThInKiNg about children.
The worst part are those parents who think they figured everything out now and know how life works, but are almost incapable of making a living.
Not too long ago, I posted on another confession website about how I started hating it when the people I work with would talk to me and I began fighting the urge to tell anyone I worked with to shut the "F" up. A few days later, I went to the website and saw somebody commented on my confession. The comment was, "Find another job complainer." I swear, I tried to fight the urge to retaliate by not saying anything mean but, in the end, the urge was too great. I responded with, "I did a job on your mom last night. Neither of us were complaining." I know what I did was wrong and I am sorry but, it does get me mad when I confess something and hope to see words of encouragement but instead get talked down too when all I really want is for somebody to say something nice that could give me a piece of mind and let me know that whatever I'm feeling will go away with enough time.
She went to close the door when she saw it was me, but I stopped her, and said "No, listen I want apologize, that's all! Can I come in for a minute?" There was doubt and even fear in her eyes, behind the heavy lenses of her horn-rims, but she stepped back, and allowed me in. I sat where she indicated, smiled my best smile, and said "You really HATE me, don't you? Not that I blame you - I've been pretty awful over the years, I know!" She nodded stiffly, saying nothing. She was quite athletic for her sixty-five years, and self-assured with it! I was thirty years younger than her, and at least averagely attractive. "Is there a point in here, anywhere?" she asked acidly. "Okay, I'll cut to the chase! I feel the need to be punished. By you. Sounds crazy I know..." She snorted "Actually it sounds pretty damn good to me! But I don't believe you anyway! If I had you in handcuffs, I probably wouldn't believe you!" I laughed sheepishly, and said "Pity we don't have any! Maybe I could convince you!" She got up and went to a closet, pulled out a holdall, and laid it on the floor between us. "My husband was a police officer, before he died. I still have some of the stuff he carried in his unit." She upended the bag, and stuff fell onto the floor, including a pair of handcuffs! "Wanna put your money where your mouth is, Junior?" My eyes were drawn to something black, rolled-up, with a strap round it. "What's that?" I asked, unable to take my eyes off the dull shine of what looked like rubber to me. "Oh he always kept a body-bag on board - fatal accidents, you know...." She unwound it, into about seven feet of rubberized material, with a full length zipper. "Wow!" I said, "Never seen one of these for real! Just in the movies!" She stirred it with her foot. "OK. Here's the deal! I'll punish you by shutting you in there, and lecturing you on all your many shortcomings - captive audience?" Okay? No? I didn't think so! Chickenshit! You can leave now!" She got up, and began rolling the bag up again. "No, wait! I'll do it!" She handed it to me, and said I'm going to the restroom briefly. If I were you I'd undress because it'll get awful sweaty in there, real quick!" She strode out of the room, and surprised at myself, I threw off my sweats, and slid into the bag, shivering at the touch of the cool smooth rubber, as I zipped it up to about my chin. She returned, and said "Holy Shit! He fucking DID it! You must have shit for brains, junior!" She quickly slid the zipper all the way closed, and then belted something round my neck, so that the heavy material drew in tight to my face and head, and suddenly all I had was air coming through the zipper! And the zipper tag was out of reach, above the strap round my neck. It was black, rubbery-smelling, and quite scary! I couldn't think why I had done this! It was too late now though. I was helpless! "So!" she said coolly. "Let's hear your apology! It better be real good! Real convincing!": In a state of shock, and with just enough air for consciousness, I babbled stuff, and she laughed nastily.. "Some apology! I guess you do need to be punished, and loathing you like I do,, it will be a real pleasure! You have been one rude, selfish, thoughtless piece of testosterone-laden shit! It will be a REAL pleasure to humiliate the FUCK out of you, over the next few weeks! You get out of there, Mister, only when I'm satisfied you've learned some manners!" Next few WEEKS? She couldn't do that! Could she? I wasn't sure.......
#hate #confession #crazy
I hate myself. I have sent the picture right away and I can't cry my heart out. I wonder if I'll ever be able to withstand my own reflection. Don't forgive me because I'm not worth it.
I can’t stand my husband. I cannot leave because we cannot afford it. Now, he wants to buy a new truck, instead of a reasonable car. And he knows I want to move out. POWER. FUCK HIM
About 2 years ago my husband read my journal and I cant forgive him for it or move past it. By reading my journal, he thought I was having an affair, I wasn't. I was online getting counseling and the person that was my counselor and he left to move to England and I was devastated. I felt abandoned by my counselor. I am angry because he read it, took pictures of it, shared my most intimate thoughts with my son. I cant forgive that either. I am grateful that my son realized how wrong it was for his father to share my written, private word. Fast forward to today, He does not support my desire to do other things, he will sabotage me by, stating he has to work, give me that pitiful look.
He is a man that does not like to be alone. He has no friends and slowly but surely, ran my friends way.
Anytime I wanted to go out, it was never a thing of have fun it was, almost like he was upset that I was going out with my friends. Since the incident of my journal and the way he shredded my, I have no desire to be married to him anymore. I will not have sex with him, because I hate the thought of him touching me.
I smile but have serious distain for him. This man does not deserve me at all and I don't want him and the moment I get enough money to leave, I will.
#betrayal #husband #hate #journal #secret #betrayed #confessed
I hate my sister. She is a horrible, narcissistic liar who thinks she is better than everyone else. And I smile in her face and pretend we are close so she won't prevent me from seeing my niece.
My Grandmother is slowly starving her dog to death. She thought he was cute at first but after he grew larger than a cup, she kept him outside. He flinches when she shouts at him and he looks so depressed and sad. Everytime I bring him toys, my Grandmother will throw them away, saying they are too loud and one, a little stuffed teddy bear, she washed and kept for herself. She said he couldn't appreciate such a beautiful toy.
With no human interaction, naturally he has become more aggressive. Her excuse for feeding him once a day was that he was getting fat. Now she is saying she can't cope and will pay a vet, to have him put to sleep. Right now we have heavy snow and he's outside. Outside in a shed and I can't tell you how long it has been since she bathed him. Today I've spent 7 hours phoning various dog homes but nobody wants a senior dog with no house training. I trained him to know the basic commands and he is good with children. He doesn't deserve to die because he isn't wanted. I would take him but I'm concerned about the aggression and I'm never at home. I've never cried so much in my life.
I work in a 24 hours shop mostly nightshift.
My boss is a complete retard. He thinks he's the coolest guy on earth and everyone else is a loser and he doesn't realize that he's the jerk. Altough it would be his duty to count the money and bring the earnings to the bank, he doesn't do it. He always instructs me to do that. But that's not my job!
He's such a lazy ass. And because I don't like him and because he thinks he can do what he wants I take cigarettes and booze each time before I leave the store. He won't notice it because I have to keep track of all books.
#shop #nightshift #boss #idiot #jerk #lazy #cigarettes #booze #theft #confession #hate #sin
I am jealous of the royals. The British royals. I want to be famous as well. I want to be adored and idolized.
I hate the internet but still I am using it. I need it to watch good porn or to copy stuff for my college.
#internet #hate #porn #college #confession
I hate my body. I've always been disgusted by it, and even y family is disgusted by who I am
My body it's built by oppinions,
but being exposed to toxic people, destructive coments and self hate has made me loose faith in happiness.
After a long and exhausting day at college, I drove home by bus. After 10 minutes or so, an elderly woman with a cane entered the bus and immediately stormed towards me. She started screaming and shouting at me why I didn't leave my seat for her. This harsh tone and this arrogant implicitness without a trace of politness got me furious. I told her that I had a knee joint and that I wasn't able to stand during the bus drive.
She kept shouting at me and said something like we youngsters are too soft and whiny.
I despise such people. It's a shame that we have such people in our society.
#hate #bus #college #whiny #knee #lie #woman #cane #confession
Me and my boyfriend tried to lose some weight in the last couple of months. Together we weigh around 450 to 500 pounds. We registered at the gym together and started changing our diet. It was a miserable experience for me!!!
I couldn't lose weight although I tried so hard. I cut out carbs and stuff and only ate a pizza or a burger once or twice a week on my lunchbreak from work.He on the other hand started to lose weight rather quickly and he enjoyed it! It's just so unfair!!!I thought about sabotaging him and maybe put sugar in his detox teas or something along those lines..
.I just hate seeing him so happy while I am so miserable...
#hate #jealousy #fat #overweight #gym #sport #diet #eating #food #confession #sugar #carbs #why
I don't have a single friend on this planet. I have some online people I talk to but they really aren't friends. I thought they were but aren't. My husband only stays with me because I support him. My kids don't even like me. My dog got mad at me for getting my daughter a dog of her own and won't have anything to do with me. I'm the most lonely and miserable person on the planet. My grandmother was my best friend and she died two years ago. I haven't spoken to anyone at all for more than a few minutes since she died. I wonder almost daily if everyone wouldn't be better off without me. I honestly don't think anyone would even notice I was gone.
I met a guy online and at this time i was new to the app discord. I was a dumb fuck and joined a server with no one i knew. The guy knew my age and still talked to me. He was 21 and i was still a minor. I had no one to reassure me or reach out to. My friend eventually asked about why i was always talking to him and I ended up telling her. She told me to block him but I have no way of saying no. I was roped into another situation with another adult male. He was about 23 or so and he made me super uncomfy but yet again I had no way to say no. I know I should have said no but I have a fear of upsetting people and displeasing people. It's a horrible trait to have but its a struggle. I was diagnosed with anxiety and had to use certain medicines for a while till they fucked me up. Even though I was being treated physically, I was still mentally ill. I had suicidal thoughts and had to go to therapy but that's not my main focus. Either way I still have no Idea how to say no to people. I will always and forever hate older men that I don't know. It's my fault though. Is it? People say it was their faults for taking advantage of me but are they when I can't even say no. It's too complicated. I've gotten somewhat better but I'm getting through now. I've had some time to recover. I cope with writing and music but idc. Fuck U endo and yukki.
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