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Me and my boyfriend tried to lose some weight in the last couple of months. Together we weigh around 450 to 500 pounds. We registered at the gym together and started changing our diet. It was a miserable experience for me!!!
I couldn't lose weight although I tried so hard. I cut out carbs and stuff and only ate a pizza or a burger once or twice a week on my lunchbreak from work.He on the other hand started to lose weight rather quickly and he enjoyed it! It's just so unfair!!!I thought about sabotaging him and maybe put sugar in his detox teas or something along those lines..
.I just hate seeing him so happy while I am so miserable...
#hate #jealousy #fat #overweight #gym #sport #diet #eating #food #confession #sugar #carbs #why
I hide away in my room because I’m too scared they will see the sadness I feel. I don’t eat. I don’t even motivate myself anymore. I hate everyone and everything. That’s that.
I hate my life! I could literally throw up when I think about it!!!!!!
#hate #life #throwup #confession
I confess that I would love to punch those fake confessors out there in the face.
Some of those confessions can't be real!
I guess they are just bored or something...
I read through almost every confession and I have to say that some of the people here urgently need some punches in the face! Unbelievable what kind of people are out there...
#hate #confession #punch #people
I confess that I'm kinda fashion freak. The first thing I notice about another person is their style, what they wear, how they dress. I literally hate people who set no great store by dressing good.
So every time my brother gets mad, he becomes this hateful demon. Hes an ass to my mom dad and every one else. Hes only like this at home or in public when hes super pissed. He says the meanest shit sometimes, but every time I make him really mad I fear for my life. Hes told me hes had murderous thoughts and the things he does really anger me. I honestly dont know if hes a good person bad or both.... im just confused why is this happening to my already sick mother? How much time will pass before he realizes how wrong he is? Will he ever?
I hate myself. I have sent the picture right away and I can't cry my heart out. I wonder if I'll ever be able to withstand my own reflection. Don't forgive me because I'm not worth it.
Whenever my boyfriend gets mad or gets into a fight with me, I can't help but get really horny. Sometimes I wish he would take his anger out on me sexually and just hatefuck me. Other times I like to watch girl on girl porn or hentai and masturbate to it for hours. I wish he catches me one day and punishes me for looking at that kind of stuff after our fights.
I hate men. I genuinely despise them. They scare me and disgust me in so many ways. I have been raped, abused, manipulated, gaslit, sexually assaulted, followed, harrased, victim blamed, lied to, taken advantage of, made uncomfortable, fetishised (im lesbian and latina),made insecure and treated like a lesser human being all by men. I am only 16. I can count dozens of girls I know personally that have gone thru these things. Ages ranging from 13 to 26. I have violent fantasies about what I want to do to men.
I spat into my mother's drink yesterday because she wouldn't drive me to my boyfriend's house.
To be honest, this has nothing to do with sex. I just wanted to get a message out and I knew most people usually go on this category. I've liked this guy for a little over a year now. We have a lot in common and we used to be really close because we were always having to sit next to each other in class. We had a band concert recently and I was really upset because this was the first concert I had where I wasn't sitting next to him. Later that week, I was hanging out with my friends when one of them.. let's call her May... brought up the topic of my crush... let's call him Brayden. I told them about how I felt after the concert was over and started to cry. All three of my friends... May... uh, Monica... and, uh, Alexis... told me I should just get over him. That is when I went full on rage mode.
They were telling me to get over him? For God's sake! I couldn't believe they went there! Alexis was fucking dating a guy from fucking Norway! May was fucking leading on a fucking senior (we are all freshmen)! Monica is asexual so I had nothing against her... but she has a secret admirer... let's call him Daniel... so, yeah. "Sure and in the meantime, May, you can stop talking to that Senior, Alexis, time for you to break up with that Norwegian guy, and Monica, you should just transfer schools so Daniel doesn't have to deal with your asexual ways!" I was so fucking mad!
By now you have all realised that I have a very short temper but I had a reason to snap. Next time you feel like telling someone to get over their crush, remember what it would be like if someone told you that. It sucks. We are separated now and Alexis commit suicide. I hate those girls so much for making me feel that shitty.
#love #betrayal #friends #crush #suicide #remember #tears #hate #temper #message
I was in love with my friend freshman year. Fully, whole-heartedly in love. She knew it, and she used me. I was her proxy for verbally abusing our social group, so she could seen like the innocent saint. I would have died for her. She threw me away because I was depressed. I hate her now as much as I loved her then. I look back and see her as the selfish hypocrite she really was. Love really does make you blind. Never fall in love with a sociopath.
#abuse #manipulation #hate #love #sociopath #loyalty #liar #lies #sad
My Grandmother is slowly starving her dog to death. She thought he was cute at first but after he grew larger than a cup, she kept him outside. He flinches when she shouts at him and he looks so depressed and sad. Everytime I bring him toys, my Grandmother will throw them away, saying they are too loud and one, a little stuffed teddy bear, she washed and kept for herself. She said he couldn't appreciate such a beautiful toy.
With no human interaction, naturally he has become more aggressive. Her excuse for feeding him once a day was that he was getting fat. Now she is saying she can't cope and will pay a vet, to have him put to sleep. Right now we have heavy snow and he's outside. Outside in a shed and I can't tell you how long it has been since she bathed him. Today I've spent 7 hours phoning various dog homes but nobody wants a senior dog with no house training. I trained him to know the basic commands and he is good with children. He doesn't deserve to die because he isn't wanted. I would take him but I'm concerned about the aggression and I'm never at home. I've never cried so much in my life.
i wish that shitty song of chris deburg lady in red would just shut the fuck up in my ear. I hated the song. and I still do more so.
I am filled with anger. Anger that is slowly bleeding away to hate.
Everyone is so fucking busy blaming and blamming each other into the dirt. Nobody either seems to or wants to understand, that regardless of your age, sex, gender identity, whatever label you proudly slap onto your chest, that we're all people just trying to get to the next fucking day.
You ever catch yourself wishing for super powers or magic? Doesn't matter how old you are, everybody does it from time to time.
Every time I come back to the same thing: Someone the entire world can rally together against. Of course it would never work and it's a fucking pipe dream, but it only fuels my fucking hate for the people around me.
I don't have high expectations. In fact they're rather simple. Survive, help others survive, get to that next sunrise, then figure it all out again, with the only ever present constant being that we, Humanity, are stuck on this goddamn dirtball TOGETHER.
But the only ones interested in saying anything like that only care about the audience they'll bring. The "clicks and the views" WOOOOO.
Fuck them.
And fuck you if you're one of them.
This will likely be buried in the sands of time. Sure maybe one or two, shit I might even get lucky and twenty whole people will see it.
But will it change anything? Will it get anyone to think? No. Because I'm either:
Alt-right because I don't agree with someone.
Alt-left because I don't agree with someone.
A Nazi, because I don't agree with someone.
Whatever fucking low budget brain label these fucksticks want to stick because I don't agree that there is one bad side and one good side.
And if you are one of those people, I just have a small, tiny, itty bitty criticism for you:
You're ALL FUCKING TERRIBLE.
YOU'RE A FUCKING STUPID.
YOU'RE NOTHING BUT FUCKING POTS AND PANS CALLING EACH OTHER BLACK.
YOU'RE BEING LITERALLY MURDERED IN THE STREETS BUT RATHER THAN CASTIGATE THE ONES RESPONSIBLE, YOU WANNA FUCKING GIVE IT LABELS AND MEAN SOMETHING MORE THAN IT FUCKING DOESN'T AND IT DRIVES ME TO FUCKING HATE EACH AND EVERY LAST FUCKING ONE OF YOU THAT PARTICIPATES IN THIS STUPIDITY AND YOU'RE ALL FUCKING ADDICTED TO DOPAMINE.
ADDICTED TO THAT LITTLE FUCKING PAT ON THE BACK. FUCK YOU
I'm going to die soon. The stress of being in this fucking world actively agitates bodily damage I've sustained and sicknesses I've suffered throughout life. I'm going to die, filled with hate for Humanity, all because these stupid fucks can't figure their shit out and that inability is going to be the fucking cause.
It's not everyone. There are those out there. The outliers. You know who you are.
And before anyone freaks the fuck out, I'm not acting out above kicking a shrubbery or two in my own yard.
These people, however much they fucking enrage me and fill me with hate and EMBARRASSMENT for being related to you on a genological level, are above wasting my time on aside making a random post on the internet nobody will fucking care about.
I don't think I deserve forgiveness.
I just want people to know.
However few.
Im totally gonna lose it!
My dad is such a derk. Every damn night, hes drinking his beer, watching some shit on TV and the he falls asleep and he snores so bad that I can’t hear what they say on TV. It drives me crazy!!!!
And he’s always telling me that I shouldn’t sleep so long! But actually he is the one who sleeps all day long!
This is my story of mental abuse, caused by my parents.
I'm 11, and I was depressed last year. After my mother called me a bitch, which she did two more times over that year, I became depressed... I asked to not wash the dishes, because I had fallen over and hurt my leg (which still hurt like hell!) but she didn't give a shit! She said, "Stop treating me like dirt, you Little Bitch!" and never said sorry. A few months after, and I still felt horrible. I was fat. My mother had told me this over and over. The truth is, I was tall as an average 12yr old and the right weight for that but since I was ten... I was "Fat" and "Chubby"... One day, I begged my mom to not let me go to a Scout Camp, because I didn't really know anyone in my group, but she just said, "Stop acting like a bitch and get ready!", which made me feel more depressed. I barely spoke on the camp, and I was starting to become an introvert. When everyone else was on a sugar-high I had to do something, but didn't know how. I didn't ask and ended up spilling the container of dirty water. They yelled at me for not asking for help, clearly not understanding what it means to be an introvert, and I felt horrible... A few weeks after that, I heard my mother saying, "Lesbians all should burn in hell!" to my father, and my heart fell to the ground. I've had many crushes, on both male and female. I know I'm bisexual already... The next day we were in the car, and I asked my mother what she thought of gays...
She said, "It's their life. They can do what they want."
"What if I'm bisexual?"
"YOU ARE TOO YOUNG TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS! Uh, but if you are bi, we will accept you.."
I used to be an extrovert, but I'm now introverted. I'm a brilliant actress, but only because I've been hiding my depression. I never cut myself, thanks to my best friend, Eggie, but I came close to drinking bleach when my father told me to "Fuck off", but didn't thanks to her. I have another really close friend, Austin, and he's fine with who I am and I feel wanted for once in my life. I am no longer depressed, but when I say "I love you" to them, I don't mean it... I care about them, hell they're my parents, but they have taught me to not stand up for myself and that I am worthless... I wish there was a way out of this hell. I wish I could tell someone! My friends think I never think about ending it, but that's not true! I believe I'm worthless, regardless of how many times I'm told I'm not! I wish I could just be who I want. I wish I could have been born into a family that cares about my well being! I am shy and introverted, but my family thinks I'm a happy, loud, extrovert! I have anxiety, but I can't tell anyone face to face because I'll break down and crying is weak! I am weak, so why do I hide it? I'm never going to be worth anything! I just wish, that when I closed my eyes and dreamed, that it wouldn't end. That I'd one day wake up and everything will be fine... I just hope god let's things become better...
#depression #wish #listen #help #love #never #friends #parents #hate
I work in a 24 hours shop mostly nightshift.
My boss is a complete retard. He thinks he's the coolest guy on earth and everyone else is a loser and he doesn't realize that he's the jerk. Altough it would be his duty to count the money and bring the earnings to the bank, he doesn't do it. He always instructs me to do that. But that's not my job!
He's such a lazy ass. And because I don't like him and because he thinks he can do what he wants I take cigarettes and booze each time before I leave the store. He won't notice it because I have to keep track of all books.
#shop #nightshift #boss #idiot #jerk #lazy #cigarettes #booze #theft #confession #hate #sin
I'll admit it: I'm human and I get so envious of others and how much is going on in their lives and I hate myself for it. I hate that I even have these feelings in the first place because my life is my own and I have made the choices I have made that have led me to today. No one else made them for me and for the most part, my life really isn't that bad. I don't need to have the biggest and the best house, job, car, etc... I've got somewhere to live, a nice enough car, a cat, plenty of wine and a decent job. What more should I want for besides someone to share my life with and maybe some actual friends? I'm working on it!
In the end it just feels like it's not enough when my sister comes over and I get so angry at myself because normally I like my life and who I am and it's not her fault that she makes me feel jealous and stupid. I should be the bigger person and just let this go but she seems to be a like a storm: something that just comes along with all it's thunder and lightning and their's nothing you can do to halt it's approach. It's a cycle and by the time she leaves or I leave every time we get together, I almost feel like I'm in physical pain from the press of holding my emotions in check. I always end up balling like a pathetic idiot just to release some of the tension. Often I have trouble breathing. It's almost like a panic attack is induced or something and I just don't get it.
To give you some background, my sister is two years younger than me and 20 kilos lighter. I'd probably say I am the prettier of the two of us even if I am overweight although she has a nicer smile and definitely knows how to dress. We grew up in a small town and I was the only farm girl in my year group with the other 9 girls being town girls. It was just two different worlds. I grew up liking the outdoors and using my imagination but the townies liked sitting around and gossiping about boys and clothes, etc. My sister on the other hand, had four other girls her age who grew up on farms and they all became fast friends. I went through school going from friend to friend and as a result, my social skills are somewhat lacking. Don't worry, that's not the case so much these days but I just don't get people like she does and despite trying to be a laid back person, I just seem to be so sensitive. I can't handle it when people let me down or don't live up to my expectations. It also doesn't help that we have so many of the same interests. We worked for similar companies, we both like reading, writing, art, cooking and sewing. I feel like I can never be an individual and I am too embarrassed to show any of my artwork to my family who scorned the fact that I like(d) manga & anime when I was younger and still do. I am the black sheep of the family and if my own parents and siblings judge me for my tastes so much then other people outside the family certainly will. However she likes country music which is still in the 'safe' category. She gets teased for being into it but she doesn't get scorned whereas a lot of people in Western society see an anime episode and just see it as a cartoon when many animes can be very violent and for adults only. I don't like them for being cartoons alright. I like then because I like entertainment. I'll watch/read almost anything but I particularly like anime because it is not as constrained as Western stories/cartoons. It mixes my two favourite mediums together after all: stories and art. But no, apparently I am childish and immature when I'd probably say I am MORE mature simply because I have broadened my horizons and I am interested in all sorts of areas.
Moving along: she met her future husband when she was 19 and that was it. She's married a lovely man in a beautiful ceremony and now she's six weeks out from having her first child. Her life isn't perfect by any means but she couldn't have asked for a more wonderful start. She lives in a brand new, enormous house on a massive farm. She's rich and she has horses, dogs, a cat, a big garden and an amazing car and she's only 25. There's no doubt about it: she knows what she wants in life and she gets it. Not only that, she's really pretty and can flirt like there's no tomorrow. She is a great conversationalist and always the centre of attention. She's confident and self assured. Guys are always hitting on her. She even told me that a workman from a neighbouring farm hit on her last week and she's married and 7 1/2 months pregnant!!! What the heck?!
It's no wonder I feel fat, frumpy and tongue tied when she's around. Our conversation largely consists of her and her life and her calling me a dag because apparently I have an odd sense of humour. So what if I'm quirky? So what if I haven't had a boyfriend (and god knows if I ever will since my flirting skills suck so much - I'm shy alright! That doesn't mean I won't say yes if you ask me! Why should I have to ask? Not all girls have to be confident because surely not all guys find that sexy?) We talk about her all the time and how great her sex life is and how much of a pain it is to be pregnant. You know some of us are terrified that we're going to end up alone and never have any children of our own! And if I dare complain about it's the same old, "well you just need to be more confident and flirt. Nothing will come to you if you don't put yourself out there." Yeah well I don't want to simper and fawn! I want to meet someone who will talk with me and make me feel comfortable. I am shy and I don't want to be rushed into something and expected to have sex on the first date. I don't like touching someone as a form of flirting because frankly I'd be a little alarmed if some guy did that to me the first time we met and started talking. She never asks me what's going on in my life and she's constantly making me feel like an idiot because she always has such a tremendously strong opinion that you doubt yourself and start believing that maybe she is right.
I don't like her freakin friend okay! (Something we argue about more than anything else) And I am effin' entitled to my opinion! She's a horrible person who has upset all the other friends in their social circle and my sister still can't see it. This person didn't come to the hen's night and on the wedding night, after I had given my speech, she decided to upstage me by doing her own speech. She tried to make it look like she wasn't getting up on her soap box by making the other two bridemaids get up there with her - one of which was quite drunk and going through some horrible family issues and all three of them made terrible speeches. And then, my sister blames the drunk one and says how dare she do that on my sister's wedding night instead of caring about how much her friend is hurting. I mean, who does that? Yes, your wedding is a very special day and your friends should leave their problems at home but life happens and I can't believe she can be so on the side of one friend (who everyone else hates) and so mad at another who has been a far longer friend and had a lot of things going on in her life and was dragged into making a speech that she never should have had to make.
In the end it is so humiliating to be jealous of her and I am trying so hard to be me and improve in my own way and I should be grateful to have advice from her (or so everyone and my conscious keeps telling me) but you know what? I don't freakin' want any of it!!! I don't want these feelings and I just want to be me. I want to be able to see her and not have a complete meltdown. Is that too much to ask for? I want to have a few of my own wins in life and I want to freakin do it myself! I don't need advice from someone who's basically got lucky. Yeah I admit I thought and probably still think I am smarter and more widely read than her. I admit that I did better in school than her and thought that I was always better than her and I freakin hate that I even thought that in the first place because I never thought I was that type of person. I hate myself and I hate that I do that as well and that I am so freakin hard on myself. I just wish my chaotic thoughts would take a backseat for a change and leave me the alone because you know what? Life is meant to be enjoyed and not endured and right now I just can't figure out how to enjoy it at all. I don't want to feel like I am struggling because I want to feel like I am being challenged and I want to enjoy the journey instead of constantly feeling exhausted by my feelings.
#jealous #sister #friends #sad #upset #panic #attack #meltdown #envious #envy #my #life #hate #myself
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