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I have been doing a lot of stupid things for the past 2 months and here's a breakdown of the major ones:
~ I have been cheating on my boyfriend of 4 years
~ The guy I have been cheating on him with doesn't know I have a boyfriend
~ Again the guy I have been cheating on him with is almost 10 years older than me (I'm 21) and my parents would be furious (I think)
~ I can't bring myself to tell either of them nor get myself to choose (BF provides the love and comfort that I need while the other guy provides the adventure and thrill of a relationship. He also satisfies my sexual needs in ways that I did not know I have.
~ I feel guilty for keeping all of these in the dark, but at the same time I do enjoy it
I am in a serious relationship for two years and recently ı started to fancy someone else. I love my partner with my whole heart and ı dont want to end or damage my relationship with him. But ı cant seem to stop looking at my friend differently. We are not so close but we started to spend more time together recently. I feel so happy around him. He makes me laugh. He is not my type but there is something different about him. I told my friends about how I feel and they guessed who ı was talking about before ı even told them. They said that he acts close to me as well. They said that he sometimes flirts with me. I felt that before too but I wasnt quite sure. But he acts so cold to me sometimes and then comes and flirts with me. I feel so guilty for liking him. I told my boyfriend that ı liked being around him as a friend. But I know it is a little more than that. I dont know what to do. And also he has a girlfriend too. I cant stop thinking about him. He acts like he feels the same about me but then he acts like he doesnt know me. I am clear that ı dont want to risk my relationship but I cant seem to Shake this feeling of me.
I feel guilty about losing weight. I am beginning to skip meals more than just sometimes. My best friend struggles with her body image, I do too. Before I started to change my lifestyle to get the body I strive for, she would tell me that she would die to look like me. She wants to look like me... I don't even want to look at myself, I don't know why anyone would want my ugly body. Now that I have lost weight she just wants to look like me more. She doesn't copy me or anything she just wants my body. When I occasionally talk about how I struggle with the way I see myself she denies my insecurities and says I'm not fat. I feel like when I talk about how I don't like my body, she may take it as I don't like hers either because she is bigger than I am. Which is in no way true. It feels like its unfair on her half.
(bad spelling in this, prob won't make sense. I just needed to rant)
I'm 53, male, and married now for nearly 30 years. No children.
I grew up in a strict religious home. Sex was reserved for married people and I still believe this to this day. I had in my teens what I would consider with my limited experience, a normal libido. Erections with the slightest stimulation: vibration of the school bus, brushing up against a girl, bikini clad tv characters, and all manner of stimulus, and I would have a raging hardon. By 13 or 14, I can't remember, I started masturbating in the shower initially. It gradually increased in frequency all through my teens and early 20s until I finally got married at 23. We were both virgins and very naive. I knew before I married my wife that she had been physically and emotionally abused by her step father who, by the way, was only 12 years older than her. He never raped her, but fondled her breasts and made advances towards her. He even bored a hole through the bathroom wall to spy on her and her sisters. When they discovered the peep hole, they plugged it as best they could and told their mother, but if fell on deaf ears. She couldn't believe he would do such a thing. He did worse to the other 2 girls than my wife, but apparently she was affected more than her sisters.
After we were married for a year, what little sex there was in the marriage ended abruptly. Penetration became painful for her and after many doctors visits, the diagnosis was vulvar vestibulitis. We tried all manner of "cures" for years. Spent thousands of dollars on attempts to "fix" her problems. To no avail. I gradually returned to my old habits and eventually added porn to the addiction. Work, public restrooms, driving down the road in my car, were all opportunities to jackoff. She didn't work much, just the odd part-time job here and there, so I had little to no time at home alone, so I masturbated whenever I had the opportunity.
Over the years, I had a couple opportunities to be unfaithful with other women. About 5 years into our marriage my wife was out of town for about 3 months taking care of her grandfather. Her younger sister and her daughter were moving across several states. Their route took them through our area, so they decided to stop at my house and stay the night before continuing their move. My grandmother lived next door to me, so I stayed with her while my sister-in-law and her daughter stayed at my house. This was all with my wife's knowledge. I had the perfect opportunity to have sex with her and no one would have known. After she left, I masturbated what felt like non-stop for days thinking of her. She has the best looking ass of the 3 sisters. She's also the only physically fit of the 3. How I wanted to fuck the hell out of her before she left. As she was backing out of the drive to leave, I noticed she left something in the bedroom. Some piece of clothing or something. I ran outside and flagged her down. When I handed her the object, whatever it was, she had a somewhat puzzled look on her face. Did she want me to invite her back inside? I don't know, but I had my suspicions. She told my wife years later that I was a better man than my wife knew. We both looked at each other and had that look of acknowledgement. During the same time period, my aunt, who lived across the road from me took in a renter. She was gorgeous! Auburn hair, killer body, beautiful face and wild as they come. I never made a move. Next came my wife's best friend. This was the closest I ever came to cheating physically. She moved in with us, but we were very careful about never being together without my wife around. I came home once to find my wife gone and her friend was laying out in the sun right outside my bedroom window. I watched her from the window and jacked off, more than once, don't remember. To this day, I still think she chose that spot intentionally to tease me. She fained a muscle cramp once to try to get me to give her a massage. I resisted. I watched her drive out of our driveway when she left later that same day only to see here angrily cussing and shaking her head. She eventually got married and moved out. I traveled for work for about a decade. Never took advantage of the opportunity. Always looking, but never touched another woman. I just never got up the courage to cross the line.
When my wife turned 43, a "miracle" happened. Her pain went away and we enjoyed about 5 years of what I believe was a normal sex life. We had intercourse 3 or 4 sometimes more times a week. Then just as quickly as it came, it went away. The pain was back and then she had a nervous breakdown. Can't work, won't leave the house except for doctors visits, sits on the couch and watches tv and plays video games. She's 52.
Should I have left 25 years ago? Sometimes I think so. I went right back to jacking off and the porn obsession has gotten worse. It takes more and more deviant videos to get me off. How I wish I could go back in time. Would I still marry this woman? I really don't know. I just feel worthless, angry, frustrated, and hopeless. I feel as though my life has been a waste as far as my marriage goes. Neither one of us is happy, but it's not for lack of trying. I hope one day this all ends up being worthwhile.
#frustrated #horney #regret #guilty #conscience #sisterinlaw #bestfriend
Well I play this game with my friend and we’ve played it for years. I got so greedy I went onto my friends account and took her stuff. She had no clue it was me and I felt sooo bad after. I went back on and gave her her stuff back but I didn’t have everything so she missing some items. This has been about a year and still haunts me. I’m thinking about telling her when we are older so she won’t be as mad.
I’m only doing this because I feel guilty but I’m..quite young and my friends brought vapes into school and we all just went to the toilets and vaped but I’m really regretting it I feel like a total twat and I don’t know what to do about it it was 0% nicotine/tar by the way and I just really need someone to help me but all the friends I tell just say that people will do it at some point but I feel like such a disappointment if anybody has ANY advice for me I’d really appreciate it
One time, after going down on my boyfriend and him cumming on my face, we went to the bathroom to clean up. So we get in the bath and I blow bubbles in the water just to be funny, but it made my boyfriend not want to make me cum. He left me hanging on purpose for something very dumb (more than once). Or he will guilt me into having anal sex with him after saying no, saying stuff like "we did it before", "it feels better" etc. but that was when I wanted to do it. When I confessed to him that I'm insecure about my vagina, he got offended and didn't wanna kiss me or do anything affectionate because he thinks that I "don't care what he says as I'm insecure over it anyway", expecting it to be gone after I've been insecure over it for years. He only started being affectionate like 4 hours later when I started crying. This all happened within 2 weeks. I'm 16.
When I caught my 13yo daughter masturbating. She was embarrassed and then to make it worse, I told her she was too young. Afterwards I recalled I started earlier when I was 11 or 12. I feel bad and don't know what to say. I need to at least tell her to do it quietly and close the door. Maybe buy her a toy or electrice toothbrush.
#guilt #daughter #masturbate #13yo #toy #embarrassed
There's this guy that works at a store near me. He has to be the hottest guy I've ever seen. And every time I go to the store and see him he catches me staring, I know he's too old for me but damn. I'd do anything he told me to. The thing is I have a bf and I feel guilty just thinking about this guy. When I know I have 0 chance with a guy because they're 10/10 and I'm a 1/10 I usually don't even bother thinking about them but I can't stop! Help! Is it wrong I think about him?
I have been snorting meth close to 5 years now, more recently ive increased my intake, think i want to end my useless life i can't any longer. Lost so much in the past 2 years. Beginning of the month I was constructively fired. What next? Think I'd settle for a coffin thank you. Tuned 33 yesterday and i don't want to see or go through any more of this.
When my bf is at work I look up the most disgusting things to masturbate to. I don't ever want to try any of it but the fact that it's so gross turns me on... I feel guilty afterwards
I was really close with a girl, we were going to have a relationship, but i met someone knew and went with her betraying my friend. She is still me friend but i feel guilty.
I love my girlfriend with everything that I have and will do anything for her. She's one the best parts of my life, but her drinking is her default to life's stresses. I wish it wasn't because she changes into someone I don't recognize when she drinks. She's says hurtful things to me and gives me anxiety by how reckless she becomes. Tonight I woke up in the middle of the night only to feel my back and legs wet, she had pissed herself in the bed. I wish she didn't drink so much when things get stressful because I love her, I just don't love drunk her.
I have a girlfriend and it’s the first one I’ve ever had. We got together a year ago and sometimes I feel like she is a good lifelong partner. But I always wish I could’ve dated cute girls and went on dates and showed girls to my parents. I never got that experience. And when I see cute girls in public I imagine myself dating them. Just today my brothers girlfriend had her friend over and her friend was kinda cute and I wanted to flirt with her. It sucks because I know Im a good looking guy and to be tied down at 20 stresses me out.
#love #relationship #admit #guilt #truth
So I knew this dude about 2 years and we clicked instantly but then around the first half of the year we stop talking and then around the begin of the second year we start talking again and see how we are. Today I found out he has a girlfriend that he cares for so much and I still have feelings for him but I shouldn't so what should I do let him go or keep talking to him?
I accidentally gave my cat the wrong pill, she is now drugged up and may have liver problems. I feel like I've made an innocent creature go through grief for nothing, it kills me that there's nothing I can do now.
I’m suffering from self harm addiction and I’m so guilty because I promised everyone I’d stop but I can’t especially when I have a very bad day
I was hurt because of my siblings so I hurt my mom coz she was not punishing or scolding them.
I said mean words to her. I told her that I want her to die so I will be convinced she can't stand for me coz she is not here. I didn't talk with her for a month even I denied to eat anything she cooked for me. I was rude. It still hurts to think she didn't take stand for me but not more than what I said to her. I don't know if she will forgive me I don't know God will ever forgive me but I can't forgive myself ever for this sin.
#heartbreak #guilt #depression #shame #unforgettable #temper
I do not know what to do and I feel so guilty right now. My mother passed away in 2011 and I held her in my arms when she died. After the funeral, the rumours started. Even my sister, who is now not a part of my life anymore because I cut her out, accused me of killing our mother. This was especially hard for me. And now, 8 years later, I still have to listen to those accusations. They say that I treated my mother badly and that I had hit her. I have to disagree. No, I did not! I never hit my mom, but I of course was not the picture perfect son. I made mistakes and I am very sorry for them. I do not pray as often as others might do, but I think about mom all the time. I look after my mother's grave and bring flowers regularly and when I am there I am talking to her and asking her for forgiveness for all the mistakes I made.
Do you think she can hear me?
I think I might be a murderer after all... Am I a bad person? I start to think that I am. I would like to apologize here once more for how I treated my mother some times. I was a teenager and had my own head. I asked for her forgiveness, but is that enough?
Shortly after she died she visited me in my dreams, but now everything is empty. There are only nightmares.
But I will try to get better. To get a better person.
I promise, Mom.
xx
#mom #deceased #died #mother #grave #murderer #sister #empty #lonely #confession #forgiveness #guilty #bad #person
I love my car and my computer more than my girlfriend.... I don't have a guilty conscience.
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