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Yesterday, someone parked in my driveway. My neighbours celebrated their marriage or something like that.
I was so pissed of that I put bird seed on the car, shortly afterwards, a dozen doves were sitting (and shitting) on the car, picking for the seed, making huge scratches in the car. It was great!
#parking #driveway #neighbours #celebration #marriage #bird #seed #revenge
I want to fight my dad and win so that I can embarrass him in front of the rest of my family and expose him for the little bitch that he is.
My girlfriend and I (m/30) have been together for around 10 years now. Her family is originally from Russia. Shortly, after we got together, she invited me to her birthday party with her family. Up until then, I never met her family or knew much about them. Of course I agreed to come and got her a nice present and some flowers for her mother. I actually thought that it would be a small and quiet celebration.
Oh boy, was I wrong.
When we pulled up to her parents' house, I was overwhelmed. It was (still is) a really big house with fine decour and everything. I got rather nervous that her family would not like me as they obviously were playing in another league than me.
So, it was a huge party and all her family from all around the country and from Russia came to celebrate. And as you might know, the Russians love their vodka. Everyone was very kind and everyone wanted to drink with me. As soon as my glass was empty, another relative came my way holding vodka shots. My girlfriend was very busy talking to everyone and did not notice what happened until it was too late.
So, we danced, we took shots, the food was amazing. Until I noticed that I wasn't feeling so well. I didn't make it back to the bathroom, but puked all over myself, the floor and some landed on my girlfriend's mother... I was mortified!
Somehow, my girlfriend, her mother and her aunt managed to get me into the bathtub and hosed me down. They got me a pyjama of my girlfriend's dad and they put me to bed.
The next morning when I woke up I felt horrible. I was utterly ashamed, but still went down for breakfast. Everyone still present was smirking and laughing at me, but it seemed everything in good fun. Her mother came up to me with a bottle of vodka shortly after and asked if I wanted to do some shots. I almost puked on her again.
So I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest before our wedding in June when I have to see her whole family again.
#girlfriend #russian #vodka #drunk #puked #embarrassing #family #celebration #party #bathroom #funny #ashamed #confession #wedding #russia
Honestly, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I’m a religious person and sometimes when I really think about IT I can struggle with night mares, and depression for weeks, but I love sex, the problem it’s like normal sex left me empty, I don’t know why I have those sadic fantasy’s like, something I stared thinking since I was like 17 was let someone fuck me while other people can see me, and show that to people how good I feel, also the idea of them watching me will make me 100 times more horny, other fantasy is being fucked by different guys, in the same time, and let them touch me all over my body I have the fantasy to feel more than 6 hands pleasing me in the same time, those fantasies are tooo dirty for the life I have, I don’t know what to do :m(
I want to wish penile cancer on the men who don't find me attractive.
#frustration #boredom #lust #wrath
I study and have to do assignments and I try to fit in some exercise but lately all I do is walking and vibration platform workout with weights and resistance cords. I really try to eat low fat however I notice weight gain. some is from that we have gone back to full cream milk over low fat milk and there is a lot of dieticians turning back to butter and full cream. sometimes I will eat peanut butter and hazelnut choc spreads but I know I should not have these. I avoid jams and sweet things a lot.
I find I get cravings for chocolate and I snack too much on choc wafers and cheese and crackers, biscuits and I have become turned off flavored yogurts and I prefer low fat choc mouse or plain low fat yogurt mixed with lime juice and I prefer chili sauce over other dip sauces as it clears my sinuses.
I rarely eat fattening foods like cake or pastries or ice-cream (they are special treats for me).
dessert for me is like 1 ginger nut biscuit with a cup of tea,
I really enjoy vegitables as themselves or in soups and salads, I love salmon and tuna, and beans and I eat lean meats and small portions only.
I just want to know where I am getting this access fat?
I want to exercise more where my neighbors can't see me exercising. I want to lose weight so bad. I have considered starving myself. cutting half of everything I eat. I drink heaps of water often
I need to find exercise that will work, is fun and not over burdensome!
I am sick of gaining fucking weight. I am sick of being ugly and slobbish and I hate looking at myself in the mirror seeing all the fat.
my laziness is frustrating. I need to move more and I have to study and complete my work. If I don't start looking good and losing weight and feeling good soon I just don't know what I will do.
#fat #weight #loss #frustration
I am a drama queen. My life is actually not bad but I overexaggerate everything and create problems were there aren't any. I am in a relationship, got a loving and caring family, got a job and I live a good life.
I thought about leaving my boyfriend just to get more attention. I need the interest of others and I guess I am a very strenuous person.
Sometimes I think about dying and imagine how everyone around me would react to my death. It satisfies me to know that a lot of people would be devastating.
I'm about to start university and do nursing, which is something I've looked forward to for a very long time. I'm a guy and there aren't many guys who do nursing so there's normally about 3 in a class of 40 at the university I'm going to. But more and more recently I'm not so interested in the nursing and more interested in the dozens of girls on the course
I have this deeply ingrained impulse to steal things which people leave lying around. Usually it's only worthless shit but I need to have them. My apartment is full with this shit already. But I just love the look on the face of people when they noticed they can't find the fork they just used or the pen they just put on the table.
I have a big collection of all things. Some are categorized in who they belonged to, others in they usefulness.
For example, I steal a lot of things from my colleague who I share a desk at work with. I already have 13 spoons, 3 bowls, 27 bobby pins, 2 mugs, 4 bubble gums (already chewed), some stray hair, 5 deodorant, 1 pumpkin (was decoration for her desk), 46 pencils and one jacket in my possession.
I like to just touch the stuff and imagine what the other person might have used it for.
It's weird I know. I love it.
#weird #stealing #stuff #shit #confession #sin #colleague #pens #decoration #love
I'm a straight guy that's 16 years old, but I really enjoy fucking myself in the ass. I wouldn't want to have sex with a guy, but I just love stimulating my prostate when I'm masturbating. I started with just fingers but moved on to using hair brushes and thin bottles in my bathroom with plastic gloves or condoms on. In the future I'd like something even more intense, so I may try something like a cucumber, but I doubt I'll ever buy or try a dildo because I'm only 16 so it'll be some time before I'd be able to manage that. For some dudes the prostate is the male G-spot, so it really makes orgasms more intense. People see it as a taboo for some reason even though loads of straight guys enjoy anal with girls, there's not much difference in putting something up your ass compared to a girl's.
I honestly think more guys should experiment with themselves. You should at least give it a try to find out, it's fine if you end up not liking it because you'll know not to do it again. Just make sure you empty your bowels earlier that day and maybe take a bath to properly wash yourself. When you're ready lay down and spread your legs, then coat a finger or two with lube or something else that will make it easier to get in (Use gloves if you re still scared). Gently touch around the area and start putting in a finger slowly - don't force it or else it'll hurt. Eventually you'll loosen up and be able to get a finger in there. It feels awkward at first but you get used to it, and when you are used to it start moving your finger around a bit, but focus on trying to curve it upwards and toward your dick. You should feel a fairly hard spherical shape - the prostate (that's what feels pleasurable). You'll want to focus on stimulating this area to get any pleasure out of the process. Some guys can get pleasure from this alone and struggle to get their dick hard, whereas others may masturbate first and then finger themselves when they reach orgasm to make it more intense, and some people even jerk off and finger themselves at the same time - whatever works for you.
If you're feeling adventurous you could move on to dildos or objects to reach better (I've used some objects but I've yet to try a dildo). You could also get a girl to finger you was you have sex, or if you're willing to let her fuck you with a strap on as you masturbate. A lot of people are going to think there's no way they could do this, because it's "gay", but honestly it's not. Are you being fucked by an actual guy? No. Are you pretending a guy is fucking you as you finger yourself? No. Since both of those answers are no when a straight guy is fingering/fucking himself, that means it isn't gay - it's only an extra way of making your sex life more interesting and making your orgasms more intense.
TLDR: I'm a straight guy who fucks himself in the ass, and I think more straight guys should try to as well
#masturbation #sex #anal #ass #fucking #fingering #dildo #penetration #straight
I’m 24 years old. A week ago I got prescribed temazepam (a benzodiazepine) because I often have trouble sleeping at night. Two days ago I went to the pharmacy and picked up my prescription. That night I took all of the pills in the container (30 pills). I did it to escape reality, but in retrospect, I did it in the hope that I wouldn’t wake up after I went to sleep. I often consciously idealize suicide but never expected myself to (sub)consciously engage in an attempt to realize that idealization.
The day after I stumbled around, still numb and dozing off due to the anxiolytic effects of the drug, and my dad came to me in my room, whilst I was crying my heart out, releasing all the emotions that I carry with me silently, never allowing myself to show that very dark, sinister side of me.
I tried to end it all taking the easy route. The strength to carry on the fight left me that night. And so I, in some kind of desperate hope to end my nonsensical existence, I tried to overdose. I’m not a woman, but the lyrics describe my current state of being… “I don’t know what she’s doing now… last I heard from her she said… she felt as if she should be dead… I guess in fact, she usually does.”
Please, if you are hesitating to leave a comment, don't hold back. I want acknowledgment, whether you condemn me, feel empathy, consider me as stupid or encourage me to try again. I reach out in anguish, anonymously.
I love to be nude in front of women. Once I went to a leading hospital and selected dermitology and selected one female doctor.I told I have itching below my testicals. The doctor was Elizabeht.She told me to go into a room and undress. I went and removed my pants and underwear and lie down.Dr.Elizabeth came and told me to draw the festivals up. I pulled the testicals.then she called in students both male and female. I loved being watched.She told me to open my ass hole. Doctor peeked and students too took a peak and later told me u don't have any infection. I dressed up and came home
I have gotten to a point where I just can't stand my husband anymore. Forcing it to work has driven me to act stupidly finding what I need elsewhere but that solves nothing creating more and more issues. Yes I am aware that I a giant piece of shit for this.
We got married at 21 after I got pregnant. I am now almost 31 and idk if i have changed or the circumstances possibly both but fuck we are fighting more that getting along. No matter how each of us tries to communicate, one this the otger is attacking and it becomes one nasty fight or another. Im tired. Tired of all this shit. And no when you a have a kid with autsim in all the correct programs you dont have the option to pick and just leave
At this stage the only way out seems to be death but who can afford to die these days.
Anyways there is my confession.
I got laser eye surgery today and my mom lost my numbing drops within a few hours after coming out of the doctor's office. REALLY, MOM?!
I like this guy and he likes me back but he's a big pussy. Can't even approach me and I always have to make the first move.
I can no longer stay focused. I spend so much time alone. My only friend is me. I don’t like me.
But I’m not a quitter. I’ll keep hanging on till this disease kills me.
If your sad. I doubt your life sucked as bad as mine. So hang in there.
I’m sorry I can’t help others the way I wish I could. But keep fighting. I’ll die one day. But not because I quit.
#inspiration #hope #love
Is the world crazy? I went to the doc yesterday. I have a horrible disease. No immune system. Getting out around people who won’t wear masks or stay back 6 feet.
So I go in & try to be pleasant. My nurses were talking about wanting survival bunkers. I think the capital riots scared them. I tried to be funny. Didn’t work.
So I told them how to get a safe room built in their house. They start talking about survival gear & stuff. Really? Nurses.
Good grief. I’m there to see if I’m going to live a little longer. Hope I don’t get Covid.
I tried to humor them. They were so serious. I tried to make a joke. I said you can even put guns in your safety room. Potato guns. Water guns. They were not amused. Are people seriously under the illusion it’s that bad?
Our media on each side needs to quit exaggerating things. My nurses were African American. I’m mixed. All of this exaggerating how serious the small capital riot was is freaking out the left. Worrying about new taxes & socialism is freaking out the right.
We’re all broke. All trying to dodge the mask-less morons.
I got horrible news from my doc. I have no one to tell. I contemplated telling my ex; but she got even worse news recently. Dear Lord. I’ve got a disabled child so sick he can barely walk. Uuugghh.
I went out of the house in massive pain. I have no $. No running car. No home. I try to be pleasant. I don’t want to hear about potential civil war when I goto the doc. People need to relax. This pandemic only beats us if we let it. The Chinese Gov; not their people; the government sucks.
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