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Embarrassing story. When I was 19 I was hooking up with a girl at a house party in college. She was 18, chubby, and samoan so she was very thick. She was even taller than me. Her thighs and ass were thick but felt firm. Her lips were big and I just imagined them giving me head. We were in somebodies bedroom and we went on the floor instead of the bed for some reason. We started just making out. Felt amazing. I just felt up on her boobs and ass. She was grinding on me with cloths on and I just came. I couldn’t help it I tried but it was so hot I just finished in my pants. I didn’t want her to know so I begged her to let me eat her out. She wanted sex but I was able to convince her to let me give her head. For 10 minutes I just licked her and ate her out. Tasted her and finally she finished in my mouth. I was happy because she was apologizing saying she tried to hold off so we could fuck but I made her cum. Luckily we met up a few weeks later and had sex but even then I only lasted like 40 seconds before cumming inside her awkwardly. Haven’t seen her in years or spoken to her but she turned me into a bbw lover.
When I was 16 I slept at my best friends house and we watched Babestation on his TV in his room. Being horny teenagers we found ourselves, sat next to each other on his bed, wanking.
Being curious about touching another guys dick, I asked if I could touch him. He agreed and for a while we wanked each other, which I quite enjoyed.
Anyway long story short, he finished before me and kinda lost control of where it landed. Since I was sat next to him some landed on my leg and arm which I was pretty surprised about but it was hot. In fact, it actually helped me cum. But that's a secret. As revenge, I came over his bed. He wasn't impressed.
We cleaned up and went to sleep. We joke about it from time to time, but it nothing has happened since.
As a child, I occasionally went to my neighbours on the evening and turned on the light of their car. It was a very old one, so it was never locked.
The next day I waited for the fight which would occur. She insulted him because he had let the lights on - again.
Hihihi.
I got my little brother drunk. He's 16 years old and had some friends over, they had some beer with them and some tequila but none of them drank very much. When they left, I showed my brother what he could to with all the leftovers. I mixed him a very special cocktail, containing 4 cans of beer, half a glas of tequila and some vodka.
He drank all of it, we had some fun but then I sent him to bed.
The next morning the whole living room was covered in vomit. My brother had to clean up the mess; my luck was that he don't remember anything, so I denied giving him that much alcohol.
#alcohol #vodka #cocktail #drunk #vomit #funny #brother #confess
One early Saturday morning a young female stopped by to visit. As we were talking she asked if I had a hair tie? Before I could answer she saw one on the coffee table nearby grabbed it and put it in her hair. I did not say a word. Unknowingly to her my man had used that the night before as a cock ring. Tee hee, that is what she gets for being grabby.
My girlfriend sleeps with her mouth open. So, when I go to bed later than her and she's already asleep, I put some food in her mouth. It's hilarious. She's always totally confused the next day. I always tell her that she ate while sleeping.
Sorry babe, I'll tell you the truth when we get married.
#food #hilarious #joke #secret #girlfriend #funny #confession
I always had a fantasy of stripping in front of older women but I was to shy and scared. I used to stay nude mostly when my parents were out one day i decided to go out in my building corridor naked and locked the door in excitement of that. Thank god i had keys and it was afternoon so it suspect anybody around but before I could open the door the lady came from the front house came out and saw me naked with full erection. Fumbling and trying to explain why was I out like that and struggling to open my door with keys I anyhow got in and she never mentioned it to my parents but even today if she goes down with me in the lift I feel so embarrassed.
A teacher of mine is an asshole. I only receive bad grades from him and that without cause.
My cat killed a mouse the other day and I decided to put it in his jacket pockets. He's running around all day long with a dead mouse in his pocket. Hilarious!
As kids me and my brother always hid the poop of our dogs in the newspapers of our neighbours.
My friends and I love to crash house parties and there are A LOT where we live. We usually get quite hammered and dick around - it is always great fun. I also usually ends with one of most of us puking and throwing up. When I do, I like to do it on the carpet(s). When I am done, I turn them around, so it will not be noticed at first.
It is hilarious to watch when the host(s) notices and I when they have to clean it up afterwards.
#party #puking #alcohol #wasted #carpet #host #confession #funny
I've called the Alcoholics Anonymous and asked them which wine would match perfectly to fish.
They didn't answer me.
I recently got tricked into going to my cousin’s wedding after party. I’m not into weddings, don’t get all the fuss over it and see it as a waste of money and sanity. Of course, strange things happen at them. Occasionally, something good.
My cousin and I are not close and rarely see each other. We’re polar opposites but have nothing in common. We do now. His new wife. At the reception after party his wife came up to me to introduce herself as I rarely attend family functions. I figured it would be yet another meet and greet then onto the next person. Nope.
We started talking and she actually was interesting. She looked like a naive, young bimbo and I’ll freely admit I didn’t think much of her because she was with my Jughead looking cousin. I had more common interests with her than I ever did him. Or was it just her flirting her butt off?
Regardless, we slipped out back to have a more in depth discussion on a topic I actually take seriously. She starts in with the dirty talk. Woah is this girl drunk already, or does my cousin just suck like I assumed? Who cares. Grabs my crotch and starts nibbling on my ear. For once in my life I amazingly say nothing and just go with it.
She wasn’t drunk but I had feelings she was just curious as I’m often the mystery guy as i do my own thing and try to avoid anything nerve wracking. I seem to attract it, even when minding my own business out back.
She started kissing me and I kissed her strongly right back. Became a full blown make out session. She stops, licks her lips, smiles and says “I had to get that off my chest.” I just stare at her smirking. She says I’ll be back. I roll my eyes and am shaking my head trying not to laugh as she went back to the wedding table with my cousin.
Another cousin of mine I actually like came up and says what was that all about? I acted like I didn’t know what she meant. She said ****’’a new wife was all flirty. “Is she drunk -already?” I guess so. Just met the girl. She’s friendly.
i went back to my table out back and attempted to enjoy all the crappy, cheesy Coldplay and all the lovely CCR and Eminem without wanting to shoot myself, so I went outside to get some quiet. I went further around back as the smokers were dominating the front area.
Around back I saw one of the cute bridesmaids. Brief chitchat. She is definitely drunk and starts relaying how my cousins’ wife is a whore. I smiled. She then asked what made me smile. Oh just a hunch.
She then said she’ll pick one hot guy and screw his brains out. I asked is this is a common occurrence at weddings. She said oh yes and that they all screwed anyone they deemed fascinating or attractive. Seemed like a regular answer knowing how some people can be at weddings.
She then said that she saw her dressing me down at the reception. I rolled my eyes. She said I guarantee you’ll be inside her in some capacity before the night is over. She headed back inside beyond trashed. I just started laughing to myself. Man my cousin can sure pick them. Another cheating hoe supposedly in love with my yucky cus but cheating already.
I went back inside and there she was. Her dress now somehow became a skirt. Great legs, killer a** and a pretty nice rack. Well hello there. I smiled and walked back to my table: She followed. She starts asking a lot of questions. Beyond annoying. I said “do you want to get something more off your chest, or is that just commonplace for you?” She started giggling.
I smirked as I can’t smile like regular people amazingly can. She told me even though she loves my cousin and they’d known each other for years (she was his deceased wife’s close friend), that she loves meeting new people and she’s never seen me. I started thinking of the drunken bridesmaid’s comments. The load of bull this chick just gave me, but I’ll humor her. Let’s see where this goes.
She told me she wanted to f**k but there was no real way to do it, even though I could tell she was nervous. I said that there must be a basement or back door closet, why the hell not? She starts giggling and licking her lips. “You’re a naughty one, where’s he been keeping you?”
She went back to my cousin who per usual is trashed out of his mind. At least he had an excuse here. One of the few things he does well is get loaded and insult people.I look over in disgust. It wasn’t the slutty wife he just married who was much like his dead wife in that department, only she was actually attractive, but the drunken, skinny bigot she just married. What a joke.
I immediately started laughing and badly I must say. I sounded like the joker. I grabbed a beer and went back outside: I must’ve been out there a solid 20-25 minutes before I realized she was about 5 feet away from me grinning. I know that look. Fine by me I hate my loser cousin anyway and hey she started this, I’ll gladly finish.I did. Twice..
We found an old closet full of chairs and folding tables they used for functions at the hall. She went down on me and me her. We got it on, on an old tent type of surface. After I finished the first time we both started laughing. She got dressed and said “meet me back here in a couple hours, I want some more.”
I highly doubted that would happen again as in a couple hours she’s likely be in a hotel while my cousin slept it off. Wrong again. We met again back at the closet and hour and a half later and redux. Again, once more only this time against a wall.
I never saw her again in that capacity. It was as if she needed one last hurrah before she went off with my cus. Of course they were already married when I met her so perhaps I got a quality…
I think it's pretty funny watching other people fall. I also like it to see them suffering. I guess I don't have a sense of shame but I really don't miss it. You should also she the funny sides in life.
I read every confession on this site. I should be working right now but I don't want to, it's just too damn funny.
#confession #work #funny #lazy
One time in school, some kid left his computer on during lunch break. Without hesitation, I searched up “furry hentai”, found the worst image I could find, and made it his desktop background. I also hid several other pictures in various folders just for the hell of it.
#funny #joke #computer #background
Is anyone fart in ur tuition class or burp😂 I have done I think this is embarrassing don’t uh?
#embarresed #funny #lol
I try to make my boyfriend angry because he said proudly announced once that no one and nothing can make him upset.
It's my new challenge to show him otherwise. :-)
#angry #boyfriend #upset #challenge #proud #funny #confession
I change some of wikipedia's entries just to mess with people. Most of the facts and stuff I change stay like that.
I don't regret anything; it's you own fault when you believe everything which is written on wikipedia.
I want to do a preventive penance. I promise to everyone who will get near my car to hurt, damage or destroy her, that I will kill him or her.
I am not a violent person but I won't let anything happen to my baby.
When it comes to my car, it's not funny anymore!
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