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I'm chronically ill and the nausea from it is unbearable. It's so much worse than anything else. I can't concentrate on anything with it, I can't do anything properly, and no one understands it. I would rather be dead than feel this way for the rest of my life
#pain #despair #desperate #confession #ill
When I was 22 and my cousin 21 she came to visit her west coast family she was from the east. We only seen each other a few time when we were kids. But this time I saw a beautiful women and she like hanging around with me. We went to a night club one night and we did some drinking and went to my house after the club closed around 2am. My cousin ask me if I would rub her back and of course I did and from there we made love and we made love almost everyday till she lift back home two weeks later and we love it, maybe cuz it a taboo thing, we were never ashamed about it we just had a great time. I have not seen or heard from her for years cuz we live so far apart from each other. One Day I was on facebook and looked her up and the first thing we talked about was the time we had sex and the great time we had when she was hear 25 years ago. It was a great time were never ashamed and never thought it was disgusting. Like I said the taboo thing was the turn on, and it was not a big deal to us just fun. .
Where I went to high school in Idaho I was a solid 7.5 on the hotness scale. I'm not exactly what you would call pretty (nose too big) or skinny (butt too big) or rich. But if you picked 4 girls at random from my class and one of them was me, on average one of the 4 would hotter than me and the other two less hot. So 7.5 exactly :) I'm sort of shy too in a way that leads to social awkwardness, especially around girls that I perceive to be a rung or too above me on the social ladder. And I'm ridiculously shy around especially attractive guys.
These minor personal issues didn't pose a huge problem in the small town where I grew up. The median level of hotness and richness there was, let's say, moderate. So I was fairly comfortable around most people most of the time. Plus I had known a lot of them since I was a little kid, so they tended to see beyond my awkwardness because they were used to me. I wasn't a big party girl or a hot item on the hook-up scene. But I had some good friends and a couple of different passably cool boyfriends during my time in high school. I even had sex a few times. Six times total, to be exact. Always with an official boyfriend, though. My boyfriends, that is, not somebody else's.
When I started my freshman year of college in SoCal, though, the situation was, um, different. It was just a regular state university, but nonetheless it quickly became apparent that I was a chubby hick by comparison to the average girl there. The cool kids table was well out of reach. There were girls running around who were so thin it looked like they might break if they bent over to tie their $300 sneakers. There was a beautiful girl in my dorm who had a big tattoo on her neck and also had a red Ferrari kept off campus in a private garage. She had a valet number she could call and they'd bring it to wherever she happened to be when she was in the mood to drive it. There were so many girls (and some guys) who had had plastic surgery done that sometimes I'd look around a room and imagine I was surrounded by robots or space aliens. OK, so I'm exaggerating a little. (not about Ferrari-girl tho - she's real, :) but the point is I felt like an idiot at first trying to talk to people and make friends. So of course I tried too hard which made it worse.
The first two weeks in the new dorm didn't go super well. The problem was compounded by the fact that everybody but me had a roommate. This made me seem weird to my dorm neighbors. Like maybe I had killed my roommate and eaten her or something. And it also caused me to spend many hours alone in my room for the first time in my life. In Idaho I shared a room with my two younger sisters. I spent years wishing for more alone time, but when it finally came, not so great. True, I was able to rub one out whenever I wanted for that two weeks, but I was too depressed and freaked out to really enjoy it. Ok, I guess it would be more true to say that I enjoyed it quite a lot while I was doing it, but the end result was just me feeling sadder.
On Monday of my third week in Cally my roommate finally showed up. I was hoping somehow that fate would send me a nerdy small town girl to be my bff. So my heart sank a little when Key walked in. She was (probably still is) tiny, beautiful, confident. Her clothes were casual and also amazing. She's half Persian, from Orange County, perfectly golden colored,long straight brown hair, huge green eyes. Standing next to her made me feel like an inferior knock-off brand of human, and I could hear the fear and clumsiness in my own voice from the second I said hello to her. My mind raced looking for a solution that would free me from my paralyzing discomfort. How can I sleep five feet away from this exquisite person? Maybe I could buy a tent and live under the oak tree on the quad, crying in my sleeping bag and mumbling to myself while I flick my bean like a crazy homeless lady?
But Key did save me after all. She had a sort of magical charisma about her that quickly made me feel more at ease. Even when I stuttered or said something stupid she didn't eye-roll or condescend to me like other 18 year old females would have. She treated me like a friend from the start, really listened to me. I believe she genuinely liked me. I was kind of approaching a crisis point before she came but because of her everything suddenly seemed ok. I'll be grateful to her forever for that.
In Idaho the social order was that kids tended to pair off into couples in the last two years of highschool, but in my new home folks didn't mostly seem to be doing the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing. So I was surprised to find out that Key actually did have a serious boyfriend, that she was even semi-planning on marrying someday. I wasn't surprised, though, when I saw a picture of him and discovered that he was also incredibly beautiful. 6'3, perfect teeth, perfect everything, not a single blond hair out of place. His perfect dick was not on display in the picture but I knew it was still perfect anyway. How could it not be?
Kyle wasn't around that much because he tended to stay busy indoor rock climbing and outdoor racing mountain bikes. I assumed he was also probably bottle-feeding endangered baby animals and possibly working to cure cancer as well. He was just so beautiful and impressive that I could only imagine him doing things that benefited all mankind. Ok, truth be told I also got pretty good at imagining him fucking me doggy style on a bearskin rug in a very exclusive ski lodge I made up:P
But of course I was terrified of him. The worst thing was that I sort of loved him at first sight, so I was afraid that if I was too nice to him my secret love for him would be revealed. Then I'd be exposed as a pathetic failed boyfriend-stealer and forced to buy that tent. But he was super nice and friendly to me, so being stand-offish just didn't work. Accustomed, I'm sure, to girls melting rather than resisting his charm he never even seemed to notice my obvious fear of him. It still baffles me how certain people can do that - win me over with a smile and make me open up despite my best efforts to the contrary. It's like witchcraft.
So after a month of college I was in a much better headspace. Key and I would talk for hours sometimes about hopes and dreams and whatnot and I gradually began it realize that she was (probably still is) human in most respects despite appearances to the contrary. She missed her dog, she was annoyed and even a little jealous that a friend at another college was flirt-texting Kyle, that kind of stuff. But what happened next totally threw me for a loop.
Key had this annual first of October 5 day family Disney trip coming up. This was something she had been doing with her mom and her grandmother and her aunts since like birth or whatever. Totally obligatory and uncancellable. But she didn't want to leave Kyle alone for five days. He couldn't go because it was a strictly and emphatically girls-only tradition. And to top it off his birthday fell slap in the middle of the trip dates.
Key thought about it and decided that Kyle would almost certainly cheat on her while she was gone, and then she would have to remove him at least temporarily from the boyfriend position on general principles. This would put her semi-plan to marry him in serious jeopardy.
I thought she was wrong about the whole thing. She had no evidence that Kyle ever had cheated on her, or ever would. Plus if he wanted to cheat he'd just do it. Her going to see Mickey Mouse or not didn't really have anything to do with it. It was just a fake problem she had made up for herself. Not what I expected from her. More like the sort of paranoid fantasy that I would dream up to torture myself with.
But when I gave her my opinion she said maybe that was true but why take a chance?
So her first thought was that I should "keep an eye" on Kyle while she was gone. What does that even mean? I asked. Kyle and I get along great but we don't hang out without you. There's no scenario where me "keeping an eye" on him would be anything but obviously weird. She knew I was right, but I could see from the look on her face the wheels were still turning. So I'll tell him he is required to hang out with you while I'm gone she said. And you'll take him to his stupid Sushi place on his birthday. And... She paused for a moment. More wheels turning. You'll love the stupid sushi no matter how gross it is because it's his birthday, and then you'll suck his dick, also because it's his birthday.
This last bit was quite unexpected. Surreal even. It was one of those situations where yes or no were both the wrong answer, and not answering at all would be even worse. So I said ok. But I had a way out, or so I thought. I added "but I'm pretty sure that's not something he wants to happen. So I'll offer but he'll probably say no." I was thinking that I would not offer and he would not ask, and all good. Danger averted.
Maybe you are right she said. At those words I unclenched my butt and relaxed a little. I'm going to call him when he get back down from the mountain and ask him. Re-clench! I opened my mouth to object but the look on her face told me it was time to shut up.
She left and I spent the next three hours in a state of abject panic. If he says no thank you, rejection and major humiliation. If he says yes thank you my fail blowjob skills will ruin his birthday, Key will hate me for not refusing to do it in the first place, major humiliation, move into tent. And plus I had never even tried sushi lol.
Key came back eventually. Ok, it's on. She said nonchalantly. Before I could open my mouth she started thanking me and saying what a great friend I was being and just generally making it absolutely impossible to weasel out gracefully. So I didn't even try.
The birthday was the third night after Key had left, but Kyle came over within an hour after she walked out our door.
It was by far the best sex of my life, and it just kept on happening and happening. I hadn't had sex with another human in like six months at that point, and I definitely hadn't ever had a true athletic pounding like Kyle gave me. Didn't realize that kind of sex was even a real thing, if that makes any sense. That first night he came four times and I came at least seven. I've never been what you'd call highly skilled or experienced in the sex department, but I do orgasm easily and often, so that usually keeps it fun for as long as it lasts. It lasted a lot! Next night same. On the birthday night I ate the sushi successfully by not breathing through my nose too much so as to avoid tasting it. Afterward I sucked his dick a little to warm up and then let him fuck me in the butt. That hurt like hell honestly but I was a good sport about it. I had tried practicing earlier in the day with an object of comparable size and shape to his jojo and that went ok. But I guess it hurts less when you are doing it to yourself vs. someone else doing it to you. It was my first and last time for that activity. He blew his load up my ass, though, so mission accomplished. The part where I had to sit on a towel for a bit with cum dripping out of my butthole waiting for him to wash my shit off his cock in the tiny dorm sink was not super romantic. But overall we had fun.
Key had really only authorized the one blowjob so I was a little worried that there might be issues when she got back. Of course she would hear that Kyle spent the night at our room every night. There are no secrets in a dorm. But when she got back she just winked at me and thanked me and started showing me Disney pics on her phone. Believe it or not we never really talked about the borrowed boyfriend week at all. And if anything she was nicer to me and as good a friend as she'd always been.
If I had to guess why I'd say it's because she felt a little guilty about the whole thing. I mean, she pimped me out! She knew I'd do what she asked because I was grateful for her friendship and still a little bit in awe of her. She also no doubt picked me specifically because I was ultimately no threat. Guys like Kyle fuck girls like me sometimes, but they don't dump their beautiful girlfriend for us, except in sappy romcoms. Those same reasons are why I never felt guilty about banging her guy front back and sideways while I had the chance.
So epilogue: Like another month later Key asked me if I'd be interested in having a three-way with her and Kyle. Not bi much and I have never licked a pussy before. But honestly I'd be willing to try it under the perfect circumstances. Hers would probably taste like fresh picked strawberries or something lol. Her asking made me feel good because I knew it had to be Kyle's idea. Threesomes are always the guy's idea true facts. So I must have done something right that birthday week! But I said no to the threesome. No way I'm gonna be naked in the same room with Key - at least not with a beautiful guy there. That's not a comparison I'm trying to invite lol.
I did spank-bank it, though. Didn't really happen but it could have. And when I wank to the fantasy version I can make myself way less fat and insecure than I would have been doing it for real!
I am so envious and jealous of my best friend. I do not know what to do. I sometimes feel like I am in love with her. Maybe I just do not want her to be happy. Does this make me a toxic person? How can I change this negative mindset? I feel kind of heartbroken when I think that she's happy or that she is enjoying her without me. But I do not think that I am in love with her? What is wrong with me? Can I not be happy for someone else's happiness?
#bff #lesbian #confession #love #jealous
I work in a 24 hours shop mostly nightshift.
My boss is a complete retard. He thinks he's the coolest guy on earth and everyone else is a loser and he doesn't realize that he's the jerk. Altough it would be his duty to count the money and bring the earnings to the bank, he doesn't do it. He always instructs me to do that. But that's not my job!
He's such a lazy ass. And because I don't like him and because he thinks he can do what he wants I take cigarettes and booze each time before I leave the store. He won't notice it because I have to keep track of all books.
#shop #nightshift #boss #idiot #jerk #lazy #cigarettes #booze #theft #confession #hate #sin
when I was 8 my uncle used me as his sex object. I didn't understand what happened. I told my mum and the family fought with him. I will never forgive him or some of my family members for not believing me. I started touching myself after that. to the point where i cant sleep without doing it. i didnt understand what it was, now i do. now have issues. I don't trust men, I don't love myself and I think I don't deserve love nor being treated in a good manner. being used turns me on. I like when guys treat me like crap and just fuck me and leave. I like being hit, forced, and used. I have never told anyone before. this really bothers me cause I know I deserve love and deserve to be treated well.
I hope that uncle dies and burn in hell for ruining my life!
#sex #abuse #sad #confession #evil
My boyfriend has a 3 years old daughter who visits us every second weekend. According to friends, her mother is a slut.
Their daughter can do what she wants when she's visiting us. She's his little princess and now he's considering taking her to life with us. And he didn't ask me. I am expecting a child - our first mutual child - and he doesn't feel the need to talk to be about it.
I feel worse each day and I really don't know how to handle this situation any longer.
I try to accept and like his daughter but I can't.
There is no difference if you cheat on your girlfriend or not. It simply does not matter. If you are loyal and faithful to her, she will talk down to you anyway and accuse you of cheating "with that b*itch". Does not matter if it is the truth or not. Of course, denying it does not help the matter either. She will not believe you. Period. You start to fight and eventually break up because there is no trust between you two.
And if you cheat and the truth comes out, you are at the same point as if you would have told the truth right from the beginning.
It just does not make sense and it definitely does not matter.
#cheating #relationship #trust #faithful #girlfriend #breakup #confession
I'm 14 and last night I was trying to sleep and I heard my mom moaning, then I heard this weird slurping sound and the bed moving. I kind of got horny. but now I feel really uncomfortable around my parents what should I do
#parents #sex #confession
Because I feel like I'm fainting, I neglect everything. My work, my family, my friends. I lie to them and lie to myself just to be able to lie in bed and do nothing. I am just too damn lazy to do anything. I tell my friends that I have to work so much but that's not true.
Yesterday, I told them that I had to work late because I didn't want to go out with them.
I tell myself that I can't work that hard all the time and that I need some rest too but I have never been a hard worker and I probably won't be any time soon.
I lie actually all the time because of every little thing...
#sin
When I was about 12 years old I had this neighborhood girl who lived above us. She was about 10 years old. So anyways I was way into porn that time and I watched it like everyday and I masturbated atleast twice a day if I could. So one day this girls parents and my parents were going out for dinner and they kept her at our house. She was the innocent type. So I wanted to try and see if I could get to do something with her. So I showed her some porn and she seemed interested. I asked her if she wanted to see if what she saw was in fact a good feeling? She said let's try. At that time I was super excited. So I take her to the room and take her pants and underwear off and take mine off too. Then I told her to suck me off and when she did I came in like a few seconds. I wanted to eat her out so I put her on the bed and spread her legs and ate her small pussy. She said it felt nice. So after that I wanted to fuck her badly so I place my cock at her pussy and push it in. At first it hurt her alot but after a few pushes it was okay. There was very little blood and I came withing a few seconds maybe one minute or less. But that was the first and last time for us because we moved out from there.
I don't like the way my wifes talks to me. She treats me like I don't know anything and like I couldn't do anything without her telling me. I now started to give her sweets everytime she talkes nicely and politely with me and it's starting to work. She is re-thinking her behaviour and even corrects herself if she said something harsh.
This method is called "classical conditioning" by Pavlov. He invented this, using his dog.
#dog #pavlov #wife #sweets #conditioning #classical #confession
Was at my girlfriends house , got up in the morning and was using her inversion machine , I was upside down and her two daughters came in her oldest was 13 younger was ten, oldest walked up to me asked me what I was doing I said I was stretching , but she never took her eyes of my morning wood, I just had under wear on they we're pretty loose.
She must have stared for a good 10 seconds , I asked her what she was looking at as I wanted to tease her , she reached out and grab ed my dice and said this, I got full wood at this point , she said nothing more and easily pulled my dice out , and started suckling you Dickinson , I didn't think she even knew what to do, at this point I had been upside down for a bit.
I was so close to Cumming when her sister asked if she could try, they switched and her younger sister had maybe bobbed up and down 3 times when I came hard, I was shocked she swallowed all of my cum.
I told them I had to get verticalled again , wow what a head rush.
There mom was still in bed sleeping , they got into the bed with her , I wenthink to pee, came back out got into bed with all of them , cuddled up behind the 13 year old , she was pushing her butt against me hard .
I started fingerings her , was supreme I could get my finger inside her so easy she was very wet , I tried 2 and I got maybe a inch inside her .
She flipped on her back and I slowly got on top of her and was able to slip inside her , about 3 inches , I shallow fucked her until I could feel me getting close , I asked her if she had her period she said yes, and told
Her I better not cum inside her, just then her mom said go ahead , she had been watching , it was such a turn on I emptied my self into her as she orgasmed.
It was soo hot
I had to bury my dad in November 2013, he had cancer. I haven't managed to get over it yet and it's very hard for me to even think about him.
January 2014, my grandmother died, too. And this isn't hard for me to tell. She's dead for a month now and I don't miss her anymore. I moarn about the death of my dad more than the death of my granny.
I feel bad about it. I loved my granny so much.
Please, forgive me.
As I was a kid, around 14 years old, I stole cigarettes from my grandma. I smoked them with some of my friends on the playground.
Now I'm 25 and I'm grateful to my grams that she gave me the opportunity to smoke. I think smoking is fun and cool.
I am angry. I am so so fucking angry.
At everything. I don't know why but the littlest things infuriate me. I could strangle someone if they look at me the wrong way. I could burn my house down thinking about talking to certain people.
It infuriates me that I am like that.
#angry #anger #confession #feelings
I constantly lie to my boyfriend about thinks I needn't lie about.
For instance about my condition, when I have headache, I'll tell him that I have stomachache as well.
Or when I forget something, I come up with ridiculous excuses. I even tell him wrong information when he asks me what I ate.
#lies #lying #constantly #secret #excuses #confession
I'm a 17 year old boy and for a certain period of time I would go on craigslist and put up an ad. The legal age of consent where I live is 17. I should probably say I'm in a religious enough family. I met at least 5 different guys. A few one offs and 2 ongoing ones. I amn't exactly gay or bi as I amn't attracted to males but I would get erect from what I presume was their desire to be with me. So I guess I will always be slightly bi as I get off from people lusting for me.. I gave my limitations every time. I never kissed them, I never sucked them or got f*cked. One guy wanted to change our agreed payment when I went to his apartment. One guy was pansexual. One guy I guess I was temporarily friends with before I realised what our relationship was had got me an 89% small bottle of absinthe, a bat mirror and bought me food and alcohol when we met. But for paid meetings I would get at least 100. One nice guy helped me in life and I paid for things for my friends because I never want to lose my friends.
I am still tempted to try again, just for the money, as I hadn't done something like that in a while.
I confess that I am about to break up with my girlfriend.
You have to know that I prefer girls with bigger boobies. My girlfriend is one of them.
Now, she told me that she's thinking about letting her tits get smaller.
I don't believe it! I tried to talk her out of that but she won't listen.
Either, she leaves her boobs like they are or I'll break up with her.
Easy as pie!
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