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Yesterday, I was VERY drunk and when I am drunk I get the strangest ideas. So yesterday, I left a big sausage in my neighbour's sand box, I pooped in the sand box.
Oh, I hope her terrible spoilt brat of a son will play in the sand box tomorrow. :-)
I was on holiday this year. Me and some friends travelled to Mallorca.
One night, I drank too much and went to the hotel earlier than the others. On my way, I met a homeless person (I had never thought that there were some in Mallorca...). I wanted to give him some money, but instead I puked on him.
I ran away after that without saying sorry.
I'm so embarrassed about that...
#homeless #drunk #puke #confession #sorry
A friend of mine got a new chimney. We loaded tons of firewood in it and fired it. The smoke was so heavy that you couldn't stand in a 50 feet area. Later, I told a really drunk friend of mine, he should fire the chimney some more.
I can still remember the fizz it made after he touched the hot knob.
Some time ago my friends and I were partying in the city. We had a lot of fun and drank a lot of alcohol. The time went by and our alcohol consume took its toll. We were wasted and running around in the city, flirting with girls and mess around with people there.
After a while we met a homeless man. He was sitting in a corner of a building, drinking his beer and just looking miserable. We talked to him and while my friends where distracting him, I peed in his beer can.
We said goodbye and left after that, laughing our asses off.
In retrospect I feel terrible about it and very sorry for the man. He probably hadn't had anything else but that beer and I pissed in it. I am sorry!
#party #homeless #drunk #alcohol #beer #can #pee #confess #sin
I got my little brother drunk. He's 16 years old and had some friends over, they had some beer with them and some tequila but none of them drank very much. When they left, I showed my brother what he could to with all the leftovers. I mixed him a very special cocktail, containing 4 cans of beer, half a glas of tequila and some vodka.
He drank all of it, we had some fun but then I sent him to bed.
The next morning the whole living room was covered in vomit. My brother had to clean up the mess; my luck was that he don't remember anything, so I denied giving him that much alcohol.
#alcohol #vodka #cocktail #drunk #vomit #funny #brother #confess
In my late teens some friends and I were cruising around and wound up on a parking lot. Coming from the upper scale club on the lot was an older woman who could barely walk. She couldn't find her car. I got out and helped her find her car, then the guys followed me to her house as I drove. She surely would have wrecked if not worse on the way home if I hadn't. She invited me and my friends in, the guys started raiding her liquor cabinet and I helped her up the stairs. She stripped in front of me and half passed out, pulled out my cock and started sucking. She took off all my clothes and laid down and spread her legs. Her big D cup boobs were perfect, even at her age, and she had a great shape, obviously had some kids with a little wider hips but her dark blondish/light brownish pussy hair was beautiful, only surpassed when I spread her pussy lips open. I fucked her and when I was done she was out, totally out. I went down naked to get a drink and the other guys went up one at a time and each fucked her. I went up one more time to fuck her and seeing all the cum dripping from her used pussy, and it all over her pussy hair and tits, I rolled her over to get some fresh hole. I fucked her in the ass, got dressed and we all left.
Fast forward about 7 years, and I went home with my fiancé to meet her mother, and . . . yes, you guessed it, she was the same woman who my friends and I fucked that night she was so drunk. She doesn't seem to know it's me, she lives in the same house, same furniture, evidently her daughter was with her divorced father at the time.
I haven't said a word, however; I must say now that I know I do find some similarities in the pussy, tits, and ass of Mother and Daughter.
Once I grabbed a woman's butt on a crowded train. I rubbed my hand on her butt and squeezed it and kept doing it for the whole ride. No one could see what I was doing. When the train stopped I just got off like nothing happened. She squirmed but didn't turn around or try too hard to stop me. I was drunk and she unfortunately just happened to be right in front of me. I didn't care at the time. But in the end I'm sorry to that woman.
I'll skip classes tomorrow because I wanna go to a big party tonight.
A lot of beer, drugs and stuff. It's gonna be GREAT!
Me and some other dudes of mine should give a speech in our philosophy class tomorrow but I'm not going. Should they do that.. :-)
(im a dirty slut girl)
so i was at my step daddy place for new years and he lives on the beach. i had recently broke up with my exbf so i went through a slutty stage. i got drunk with a mate and we picked up two older gentleman. i ended up on the beach with one of them going at it, and half way through i swear i passed out!
but then i ended up telling him to pull out because i couldn't feel anything! the next thing i know, i'm hooking up with the other man and then he had me bent over, hitting it from the back!. I was oh yes daddy harder ,more I'm your dirty slut yelling..
the next day i checked out my girl and the sand had gotten in the way had actually cut me and man did it hurt to walk because of it. moral to the story, dont fuck on the beach when drunk, and dont go slutty after a breakup!
Several months ago I met this guy online. We are both males, both married and in our late 40's. He put feelers out there as a feminine guy, wanted someone to meet while crossdressed and he wanted to be sub to a dom man. I'd not had any strange pussy or ass in over 20 years but was interested. We talked exchanged pictures and he started showing me pictures of his fat wife with huge titties and ass. He would even write my name on her while she was nude and take pictures to send me. I had some old pics of my wife and showed them to him.
We met, and started a fem/masculine get together in which he would dress and I would fuck him and dom him. He wouldn't suck cock though. I finally made him do it and he got mad and I finally got him back to meeting me. He had been fucked by 4 guys before me, I'd parade him around and call him slut, cunt, and other names. I would even open the drapes in the hotel/motel rooms so that people would see this chubby older woman getting banged in her butt through the window. They didn't know I was fucking a guys ass. I always started the session by making him stand up and stick my finger up his butt and make him walk around the suite, opening drapes, windows anything I wanted. He got really sub and I even more dom and I would make him do things to his wife, and take pictures to send me. She dommed him in real life (not sex life) even making him wear cotton panties all the time usually in pink, pastels, and white. So he wouldn't mess them up she made him wear a panty liner or a full pad, just as she did everyday. Sometimes she would make him wear a bra as he had cubby manboobs. Even when they first started fucking she refused to let him stick his cock in her mouth, or in her ass. So I told him he should take his wife and force the bitch to take cum up her ass or mouth. His cock had gotten to where he could barely get it up (usually with injections) so I wrote a story about her being passed out and my fucking her.
He started experimenting with her drinking and slipping in a sleeping pill. She would pass out and he took pics of him dildoing her cunt and sticking his limp cock on her lips. At his suggestion I waited till I got word from him that she was passed out and went to his house. I played with her for a while, ate her pussy out, let him play with my nipples, then I laid on top of her and she automatically spread her legs. Instead of fucking her then I just put my cock into her sopping pussy and got it really wet, then laid him down in his girly clothes next to his wife and fucked him right next to her, in the bed the two of them shared.
After that I made him do some kinky shit, and got my cock hard again, then fucked his wife while he placed my cock at her entrance. I shot a load up her slit all the while sucking, mashing and bruising her tits. I kissed hickies on her neck, and stuck the business end of a wine bottle up her loose cunt after I was done. I made him make me dinner, while dressed in his nightie with stockings and heels. Then told him it was time her virgin asshole got fucked by a real man. We went up to the bedroom and rolled her fat ass over, I made him grease her up with some lube she had and I got on top of her while she was lying face down on the bed. I put my cock into her, and reminded him that this was the position in which I first fucked him. After having shot two loads already, it took me about 45 minutes to cum up her virgin ass. It was certainly tight, I think she was indeed a virgin, but after a 45 minute reaming with a pretty thick 7 inch cock, and her being passed out, it was gaping open bigger than a quarter.
He started to panic wondering how he was going to explain the cum in her cunt and ass. I didn't give a shit and instead jacked him off all over her face and tits. I then told him that her cunt was way too loose for her to only be fucked by his scrawny little cock. She was having an affair. I then told him the best way for him to not be accused of fucking her while she was asleep would be to suck all my cum from her cunt and her ass, and lick his off her face and tits. Then I left. I don't know what he did, but it worked out.
I fucked her about 12 times that way, and finally he told her that he liked being fucked and dressing up and she liked the idea of him being a "woman" too. So he had permission to get dressed and fucked in front of her. I went and fucked him several times, then going off with her to the store, or out to eat (using his credit card each time) then I'd go back and get off again. She made him start sucking my cock to orgasm many times, and eventually she let me fuck her in front of him. She took my cock up her cunt, her mouth, her ass, she even did ass2mouth in front of her husband. I even made him clean my shitty cock with his mouth after it was in his wifes ass.
It's a very rewarding relationship, but we still like to get her drunk and passed out so I can abuse her cunt and ass and bruise those big tits of hers. She just laughs about it now.
My girl and i went out to catch a movie one night then later on decided to stop at the bar right down the street. I ended up gettin really drunk and had to leave. we got home and things heated up. In my drunkn stuper i thought id take control i threw her down on the bed flat on her stomach and went to town.
I was beatn up for 2 or 3 minutes b4 she turned her head and said " what the hell you doin" i was confused for a second then she said " u know thats my thighs your rubbing" i never even made it in her! Those thighs sure felt good!!!
I got drunk and lost my virginity to my friends dad. I was too drunk to remember exactly what happened but I was asleep and woke up to him thrusting inside me. Then I blacked out again. The next morning I woke up and found he didn't use a condom. Its basically rape and I fear I might have an std.
So I'm 14 but I guess I look older and I'm about 5'8 so guys have thought I'm older before. Anyway, not many guys in my year are hot or mature so I haven't had a boyfriend in ages but I went out with some friends to a nightclub and got in because my friend is older and she got really drunk and went home but I had no ride then... so I asked this hot guy if he could drive me home because I saw he wasn't drinking and he started feeling me up and said he'd drive me to his place. At this point I thought I should just go sleep at this guy's house and go home in the morning because I was tired and drunk but he started kissing me so I kissed him back, but was kinda psuhing him off and asking him if we could leave already. So we drive to his house and in the car he starts feeling me up again and I kinda got turned on. We got to his house and he pushed me on the bed then lay down next to me, touching my boobs and all so I straddled him and we fucked about three times. He said he was in college, so way older but he dropped me at my friends house in the morning and I never told anyone.
Life isn’t fair. I ate right & exercised. No drugs or drink. Been sick much of my life.
I know fat smokers who eat endless fried foods; get drunk; smoke; did a lot of drugs, & won’t even wear a mask for Covid. Yet are healthier than me.
I'm 15 f and recently my family and I travelled to see some old friends. They have a son my age, let's call him R. It'd been a year since I had last seen him and since then he'd grown and was now taller than me. He wasn't particularly attractive but I was bored and horny. I had been flirting with him all day and we just confessed to each other that we both enjoy smoking pot and drinking. He asked me to sneak out tonight and meet him as he had several drinks. I agreed. He snuck into my room and we started drinking. I'm a lightweight and an incredibly affectionate drunk. Soon I was cuddling him, touching his hair. I made any excuse to be near his crouch so I could feel his hard on. It was nearing 5am in the morning and we were incredibly wasted. We decided to jump into my bed for a cuddle. At this point I turn to him and ask if he's ever kissed a girl. He replies with a no and I say would he like to. We start passionately making out and his hands roam all over me. Soon my shirt is off and he's pulled my pants down and he's eating me out and fingering me. It was an amazing experience and I don't feel guilty at all. We're just two teens messing around
I'm 16 and young for 3rd year in college. I'm attending summer sessions to advance further. There was a wild party, and this very pretty girl of 21 passed out drunk. Some girls asked me to lift her and take her into the bedroom and lay her down. I did, she was totally out of it. While in there I pulled her blouse and bra up played with and sucked her tits. Then I lifted her skirt to see her pantie-less pussy and ass. She had brown pussy hair trimmed so it was about 2 inches wide and went straight up from the start of her pussy lips about 3 inches or more. She had light and soft hair on her pussy lips. I softly licked on her pussy, she moaned, I panicked, but she was out, just having a reaction. I licked some more, fingered her with two fingers, and walked over and quietly locked the door.
I raped her pussy. I then pulled her clothes back, covered her up and went to the party. It all sounds like I was gone a while, but it was my first time. . . it was all over in about 4 minutes, I'm ashamed to say.
That was Saturday, today; Monday I just finished a 2 hour class with her sitting next to me. I'd really like to date her but I'm so much younger and she knows it. It's that way with almost all the girls. I guess I'll have to wait for another party.
I said some harsh things when drunk, but I can't remember, and now my boyfriend and family hate me
I threw up (out of my window) directly on a parking car. Yeah, I was pretty drunk and I ate pretty disgusting stuff before I got sick. I stunk like hell. Fortunately, the car was gone the next day...
My wife is a wh*re. She cheated on me for several years. We’re in our 40s so maybe almost 2 decades. It’s hard to say. I gave up. She assumed I condoned or let her sleep around with 2 lovers of hers when I couldn’t satisfy her. I actually blamed myself because we became swingers because I wanted to sleep with a blonde woman that swung. I also stupidly thought it would make our sex lives better. It did for her.
My wife is more attractive than me. This is usually the case with most couples. I will only admit that here as I’m a fraud of a person. When people see the real me, I become more Republican than I actually am. We hide and hide often. That is slang for being full of crap. I am one being why I likely hide and pretend I’m all that when people that pay attention would know outside of having a great butt, I’m nothing.
We became swingers and were quite successful I believe that because my wife was and is gorgeous. She’s not as gorgeous as she was in her 20s and 30s but she has Lyme disease and stuff popped up. She also hides behind the bottle a log and is now a drunk, so she’s lost a few steps.
I still love her anyway but I wonder if she doesn’t cheat now because she thinks nobody would have her. Maybe that’s a good thing but I can tell she’s profoundly unhappy. After we had a few couples all those years ago, she started cheating. It was with a guy she had sex with when I had sex with his wife at the swingers club.
They hit it off more than I did with his wife. He was a built stud with long hair and I’ll admit if I was a woman I’d have killed to have his body and attitude. Face not so much but he knew how ti pleasure a woman and had a body most would kill for despite being much older than us.
I thought he and I were friends but that I believe was a facade and obvious lie so he could easily have access to f**k my wife. I didn’t know about it for years because it happened while I was working. Of course. Little hoe she said was.
I eventually suspected something was up because there was a sock that didn’t match anything I’ve ever worn near the side of our bed. I went to a shop that specialized in spying equipment and set up a dinky camera near our dresser. I put more all around the house because the investment made sense. In many ways I wish I hadn’t. They had sex in every room and in every which way.
He satisfied her better than I ever did and he did things I never did because I sucked at them. I guess for some of us it’s embarrassing to have our wives teach us because there are men out there that already knew. He sure as hell did much like another friend of hers I caught her with when he briefly visited us in the guise of a weekend trip before seeing his family. It was for her. Only her. Of course it was.
She stopped seeing my ex friend as I now saw him as despite lying to my wife that I still considered him a friend. All those hours of video and audio of them together I wanted to kill him. I almost did. I eventually told her enough of him or I’m done, only to take it back.
Many would likely read this and say why didn’t you dump her. Later, did once and she had other lovers during our time apart. I had one woman but I missed my wife. This was pure hell. At the time our 3 kids were very young and although they unfortunately knew all about the men she slept with even when they were sometimes around, we got back together and she moved back.
Within a week her usual lover was in our bed making love to her. It stopped, then started again so I told her let’s swing again to open up the marriage. She thought this was odd but she was excited. I wonder why. She also cammed as we didn’t have tons of money. This was my bright idea and seemingly showing off my then hot wife. What was I thinking?
Child services found out about it and we got in trouble. My wife did more because she was nude all over the web and my kids saw her. I guess one of them told. She became suicidal over this but like clockwork retreated to her lover again. Eventually, they stopped but she then listed after he real best friend who was better looking than her lover of several years. I left to attempt to clear my head.
This time I slept with several women I kept hidden from my wife because I already know what she was and likely still is. One was one of her best friends and I threw it in her face that the sex with us was incredible. Amazingly, it was and it was often: The problem was she was also sleeping with my wife and my wife fell in love with her.
This woman used both of us because she’s a narcissistic opportunist and another hoe. She stayed with us for about a year sleeping with both of us before finding a would be sugar daddy of some sort. I’ve realized I can’t have anyone that didn’t already have my wife or she’d come after them later. It’s likely still going on despite my wife finally looking average and being beat up from life. Good.
Her sex life is like mine, alive when we’re very horny or high. Sometimes when drunk which is often, she’ll tell me about all her conquests and one of them she always lies about when sober. I know otherwise. I have that on tape too. I slept in the next room while she slept with her best friend. She was in love with him and I found out she wanted to leave me for him but she panicked and went back to her older lover.
I’m a masochist but I love my overly slutty wife. I just do. Why I stay doesn’t say much about me but I love her. The thought of her alone in the world (let’s be honest she’ll never be alone) without me makes me sick. Maybe that’s because I just need her more than she needs me. She says she’s happy but why constantly drink? We try to woods things go as she doesn’t cheat now but only because she works so much and has several disorders. It’s hell but it’s life. I deserve this. It’s my private hell.
#cheating #wife #promiscuity #love #disgust #swinging #lovers #drunk #whore #weak
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