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Self harm. Have you ever thought about it. Well please read this first. I promise you haven’t endured worse than me. Maybe as bad. Hopefully the moderators won’t block this post. I’m sure you’d rather hear about my giant penis & all the hot women I’ve had sex with, but there are people hurting, so let’s give them a few moments of our time. Every life is worth saving.
I could tell you about all the physical & sexual abuse I endured. The deaths I’ve seen. The horrors I’ve endured. But thats my burden. Lets say your a rich kid who has been spoiled rotten & wanted for nothing. So what. Your mind can make any life seem unbearable. Even for a young child. Gay. Straight. Disabled. Black. White. Boy. Girl. Undecided. Fat. Ugly. Its all just labels. Are you going to let others label you? If I did that I’d never have accomplished anything. I define me. Inside you have a soul. This world is hard. For all of us. Including you. I can’t promise you even one other person will ever love you. But you can choose to love one other person. Or a hobby. Or a good deed. You just need one purpose to give your life meaning. Pick an animal shelter. Send them a few dollars a month. Find a good charity that helps children. Send them a few dollars a month. Now; without you, a child or kitten will have less to eat each month. Or write a kind letter. Find a person in the world who needs it. Don’t put your name on it. Mail it. Now you sent a gift of love to another without any chance of repayment. You’ve now made the world a better place. For most people; with a little effort, they can get better. Exercise. Therapy. Meds. Happy music. Happy TV. A hobby. Watch sports. Any interest. Young people can usually grow up & move out of their situation.
For others a disease constantly reduces their options. They have less & less chances to change their situation. Two people can be in the exact same situation. One chooses to be miserable. The other tries to be a light for the world.
One tiny light. But with enough tiny lights the whole world can be brightened. But that can be hard. If trying to help others overwhelms you, then stop. Its OK to be selfish if thats how you can survive. Some people are here to touch millions. Others need to focus on saving one precious life, their own. I have no idea why I was here. But I’ve made some positive contributions, even if others didn’t really want me here. As I lay dying once, my final prayer was for the entire world to be spared. All souls. I have no idea how I’m still here. But I can’t live forever. Eventually my disease will win. Poverty will crush me. I’m no angel. Just somebody the world didn’t want. But I loved it anyways.
So I read about a teen who couldn’t face the world anymore. It overwhelmed him. His mom is successful. She seems to have everything. But her son couldn’t see a place for him in this world. So he left. Thats sad. Think about that even a child with health & wealth can break. If he could break, all of us could. Read the news. Look at all the lives cut short. Pray for them. Pray for the loved ones they leave behind. I would like to give his mom a hug. She wanted to follow him. But I’m just a nobody the world doesn’t notice. Hopefully someone in her life will care enough to lift her up.
But that little boy was just one light darkened too soon. Many others are going out too. People need to reach out to them “before” they are gone.
I hope some of you can read this. I can’t afford to read the stories myself, so I hope at least one person decides to fight instead of quit.
As for myself. My body seems intent on failing me. But I’m going to try something. Maybe it will help me hang around a little longer. I hate hospitals. If your problem is in your mind instead of your body, don’t be ashamed. The brain is much more complex than any other part of the body. If a leg or arm is broken do you laugh? Do you mock someone in a wheel chair. How about a little person? The blind? Well then if your disability is in your mind, its no less real than a broke arm. In fact, its much worse. The brain is very complex. Don’t be afraid to see a therapists. Take meds. Go to a hospital for help. Old age or a disease will extinguish your light eventually. No reason to speed that up.
As a child they wrote me off. Yet here I am. Your what “you” decide. Your not the labels people put on you. Don’t look to me for guidance. Look in the mirror & help that person out. They need someone to care about them. So love yourself. If you love yourself, at least one person loves you.
I spent hours writing this. At least one person cared enough to do that for you. So you must matter.
Love.
😇
#hope #despair #depression #love #light
I used to be strong. I could help others. But disease took all of that. Then the pandemic hit. As a servant of my Creator I tried to shine bright. Between a disease & poverty I seem to be burning out. So I’m picking my moments. But I’m still swinging. Your light will go out on its own. But don’t turn it off yourself. Let your little light shine so that a lost soul can see hope. I’ll need someone to take my place when I burn out. Old warriors like me need brave young people to stand. Sometimes we only need them to stand for themselves. Not everyone was made to be a warrior. Some were made just to smile & be kind. Thats enough. Just be happy. Have the courage to just smile & love yourself.
I miss her so much. I shouldn't hurt so bad. I'm a grown man, with a professional job.
She hurt and betrayed me for years, but I can't stop or let go.
I have been drinking for the last 8 days just to make it stop and it won't.
I am so afraid.
I don't want to die but I don't know how else to stop hurting.
I'm ruined.
I still can’t let go of my ex but I don’t even want to act like a pathetic depressed ex.It's been 2 months since we broke up and I’m still not over it but outside I’m kinda act good as chill with my friends as I even went on date with other guy after breakup to move on but still can’t get over. So I made up my mind and text him because he finally unblocked me in ig as asked him on a date like causal last date not talking about patchup and all and he said yes. Omfg I’m having finals so will be going after that.
For years now I puke my guts out and no one knows about it.
Everyone thinks I am fine and healthy while I hate myself, I just can't be disciplined. Everyone thinks I am happy but I am not.
#despair #puke #guts #healthy #fine #hate #disciplined #confession #happy #secret
Oh you guys do NOT understand how much I hate this fucking shit life. Gosh people annoy me so fucking much, plus I’ve got no friends. UGHHJJ I fucking hate it, you guys just don’t understand words can’t explain how much I hate life NO WORDS. The only good about life is food nothing else. UGHHHHH and I’m not going to kill myself because I still wanna eat, but that’s about all that’s hkeeping me going
So I consider myself a pretty selfless, goody to shoes person. I just love helping people. But in doing so, I'm tearing away pieces of myself and giving them away. For example, I helped a friend get out if depression. But by doing so I saw my own insecurities, like I gave away my confidence to her. I feel despair. The worst part is I don't know what to choose. Happiness for myself, or helping other people.
when i was younger i found the love of my life but i was poor and everyone looked down on my family cause most of them really amounted to nothing so i never would do anything we loved each other held hands we were inseparable but i was scared i would ruin her life so i told her no every time it almost lead to something till i nearly cracked so i left and told her we could not see each other again i kno she still cares about me but its been years im married now have kids and love my wife but never as much as i still love her and i wonder as time goes on if i ever got a time machine i would go back and try to change it because my wife and i have had problems it has nothing to do with this other girl either i never cheated nothing like that but just normal problems expected from my past and hers but i keep thinking i would tell myself if you were with her it might have been different maybe you wouldnt have fucked up that bad so i would end up trying but then if i did and no matter how hard i tried i still ended up ruining her life and then i would definitely go back and try to change that to and i would end up in an endless loop of misery and that makes me sad it feels like im just faking now cause eveything in my life not just this and im just walking around pretending like im not meant for true happiness and the only thing i can do is make other people happy and i have been feeling like its starting to not matter to me anymore i dont feel anything anymore for making other people happy cause i know im just going to be miserable again any minute i get its depression but i thought of it and i really hate the social system we have in place and thats why i think there needs to be a real change instead of safe spaces
#depression #love #change #despair
I am just so damn fucking lazy. There's something I should have done weeks ago, but I just started the process for it today. I lied about it to everyone I know and they think I got my shit together now... More or less.
I need to get my head out of my ass and start doing shit.
#despair #lazy #wtf #confession #sin
I hate my life. I have hit rock bottom. My wife of five years, together for fourteen years cheated lied and style since I met her. We divorced and now I find out she is fucking one of my buddies. He just had a baby. She broke them up. A six months later I meet this beautiful lady, we hit it off, had crazy hot frequent kinky sex, fell in love. Turns out the entire time she has been fucking other dudes from a hookup site. Just before I figure all that out she rips me off.
So I start thinking about this right. There's a trend. All my friends, buddies, even best friends, all the people I've had in my life including the two women have faded away when I can't lend money or help them out. The only people who call me ask for money or favours. I'm not rich by any means, but I share what I have.
Now I'm broke and alone. No friends left, my fucking dog doesn't even like me anymore I think. My whole life everybody who smiles at me has been laughing at me. Look at that idiot go. Moron doesn't even know I'm fucking his woman. Borrowed money off him to go party with other guys.
I'm done. People suck. I have nothing left.
I was listening to a woman on the radio sing about how I broke her heart. While thinking about how I broke another woman’s heart. All the pain I caused others. I’m sorry. Why do good people love me? I’m not worth it.
Went into nursing for the money and because I didn't know what else to do with my life. Now six weeks into my first job, I'm already thinking about leaving. I've struggled with depression, insecurity, and suicidal thoughts for about 7 years, and this career has resurfaced all of those old emotions. Working alongside nurses with 20+ years of experience and new doctors that think they know everything under the sun has made me feel incompetent, ignorant, and foolish. Don't get me wrong, I want to excel and be the best person I can, but it's just been so tough, mentally and spiritually. I'm starting to feel broken down before I even get on my feet. :/
#depression #greed #suicide #nursing #medicine #anxiety #despair
I love my boyfriend and he means the world to me but there's this other guy I think about all the time
I promised myself I'm done with him yet I find myself coming back and it's tearing me apart
I feel like I'm not good enough for people to even bother with me. I don't really talk to anyone because I have literally no social instinct and I'm extremely socially awkward. When I'm around other people, I don't really want to socialize, but then I'll be alone and wish I talked to people more. Any ideas on how I fix this?
Well since like 2 days ago I started fingering myself and rocking myself like if I had a pennis beneath me and I get so horny so 2 days ago I started going to the couch at night to finger myself but the couch is so fluffy that I started to jump and rub my vagina to the couch and imagined I was on top of someone and I even did that on the arm rest... Long story short I get horny when I sit on the couch
#horny #fingeredmyself #couch #despair #masturbation #girl #teen #hornyteen
I usually sleep on my right side but last light for some reason i could only get comfortable laying on my belly, so i ended up falling asleep that way. I woke up this morning to severe discomfort and quickly realized my penis had twisted up and was pushed into my body and it was fully erect aswell. I tried to pull it out but i felt as if it was locked in two direct ways. It's still like that and it won't go flacid.i'm so embarrases to go to the hospital because i don't egen know what to make of this. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this before. I am really freaked out.
#penis #injury #weird #bizarre #confused #embarassed #humiliated #medical #distress #depression #despair #desperate
I outlived my expiration date. I fought to live until a major surgery. I survived. Then I almost died. There’s no way I should have lived. Then I guess I had Covid. I had no money or way to a hospital. I just lay in a floor alone for days barely getting water and a little food.
I did all of that just to find out no one wants to talk to me. Oh I have children. But no car that reach them. No money to live near them. They love me but a disease makes it impossible for me to see them.
I wonder why God doesn’t love me. I served Him my whole life, but He doesn’t care about me.
I get so confused. I called my hospital trying to sort things out. No one knew anything. Then some woman told me off about paying my bills. I don’t owe them any money. I was just trying to find a way to see someone for less money so I could afford to stay alive. She told me off. Said she has co pays with her insurance. Well sure. But she has a job. I can barely walk.
I was just trying to explain to them that I can’t afford to pay more money like they want me too That by limiting when I can see them I can’t walk over 100 miles.
I feel like I need to be disciplined but I am to afraid to tell anyone I can do some really bad things and get away with it
#discipline #getaway #despair #bad
I enjoy the sorrow, misery and pain of others. It does not have to be anything crass, but I get giddy and really really gleeful if I watch someone struggling.
I ROARED with laughter when I watched a young mother lose her baby's pacifier in a drainpipe and the baby started crying.
When I am walking through town and occasionally stop and watch, hoping for something funny to happen - I love watching people struggling with heavy objects.
I love watching fail compilations on YouTube.
Unfortunately, I now read on the internet that this glee and joy for the pain of others might be connected to feelings of inferiority.
I confess that I worry that should be ashamed for my key source of joy in my life. And that I love my fellow human beings the most when they are stuck in a water slide.
#funny #despair #joy #glee #youtube #videos #fun #laughing #baby #mother #slide #water #confession #inferiority
Because I had a cold the last few days I didn't shower. But I had to drive my kids to school nevertheless and I had still some tasks to do. So I took my youngest boy (5 months old) and drove off to buy food. The only thing I could think of while in the store was a hot shower and I decided to drive home quickly to get one.
I bought all the stuff we needed and drove home. In the car on my way home I was sure I forgot something but I just couldn't find out what it was. At home, I immediately hopped under the shower and then I remembered!
I left my little son at the supermarket!!
I got back to the store and indeed, I left my son in his maxi cosi at the cash desk....
I know it's no excuse but I was very sick and I haven't slept for a few days. I can't tell you how sorry I am and this will not every happen again...
I want to confess that I am a terrible mother.
#mother #bad #terrible #cold #sick #shower #kids #forget #son #supermarket #store #confession #sin #despair
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