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I'm married and sometimes I hate my husband!!! We both used to be very abusive to each other. For years!!! He started the abuse. However, we have both changed drastically. I mean we went from fighting every day. (Fist fighting!) Due to his lies and cheating. He was very controlling and wouldn't allow me to break up with him. I would leave and he would find and stalk me. Begging me to come back and I would go back every time bc I loved him, still do. We've been together forever, I met him when I was 14, he's 5 years older than me. Anyway, we went from fighting every day to no actual fighting just heated arguments. Which is major for us, trust me. We used to fight like cats and dogs. Anyway, we don't anymore. But, I still feel the pain in my heart and mind mainly bc of the last time he cheated. What happened was he cheated for the last time I believe like 8 years ago and got his ex pregnant. They already had 2 kids. Since, they live in a different state and she hardly lets him see the kids he had no idea she was pregnant with the third kid. During the time she was pregnant he went to jail for a year, which had nothing to do with us fighting, by the way. While he was in jail he had enough money saved so he still paid all my bills, rent included. He paid for everything. He just asked me to wait for him. Well, I did. While he was in jail he got "saved or found God." When he out out he asked me to marry him. He said: God spoke to Him and said that I was supposed to be his wife and that God showed him all the messed up and evil things that he has done to me throughout the years with all the lies, deceit, betrayal, abuse, and cheating; etc. He said: God spoke to him and told him to change or he would spend the rest of his life in jail. He hates jail. Well, long story short he told me about all the dreams and/or visions God gave him about our lives and he wrote me a letter and drew me a picture everyday while he was in jail. I listened to him, but I didn't fully believe him. I wanted him to prove that he changed and he did/has repeatedly! He has did a whole 360!!! Anyway, we got married. I didn't know he had a third child with his ex and later when he found out he was too afraid to tell me. He found out when after he got out of jail. Which explains why he wanted to get married so quickly. Anyway, he did change, but I knew there was something still bothering him. I asked and asked. But nothing. Finally, one night he says God told him to tell me. I knew something was wrong bc he never slept. Just tossed and turned all the time. So, when he told me I flipped out!!! I asked for a divorce, but he declined. So, I sought out a few different advisors and they all pretty much gave me the same advice which was to try to make our marriage work especially since he had not cheated during the actual marriage. But I felt bamboozled and devastated!!! I cried for days. So, we went to marriage counseling. He confessed to everything. How many times he cheated on me before we got married, with how many women and most importantly why he did it. Everything!!! I sat there and took it like a CHAMP! I really tried to listen like a friend instead of a wife or woman who felt totally and completely broken. Then we had a sit down with his ex. She hates me, by the way. We got down to the nitty-gritty. I mean how many times did they cheat on me together. Why did she keep the other child a secret from us? When she finally told him, why did he keep it from me? Why did she agree to keep me from knowing there was a third child after the fact? Why did they both have their other two children acting as though they did not have an extra sibling? They were all lying! She did after a while she begged him to tell me. I believe her, but she is still so "in-love" with my husband, she would do anything he says. Not her words, mine. Anyway, now they don't communicate unless I know about it. My husband has sincerely changed, but I'm stuck with all this hurt and pain!!! I'm really trying, but it is so hard. I mean he gives me the majority of his money, tells me all of his whereabouts, I have all of his passwords, he shows me all of his bank statements, he doesn't go see his kids without me, and he doesn't make moves unless I know about it. Yet, and still I am not happy!!! I feel broken!!! I am trying. But I feel like getting revenge!!! Even though I could never see myself having sex with another man. That's the truth. I just want him to hurt the way he has hurt me! I'm struggling!!! I feel like all my innocence was stripped away from me. I genuinely loved someone who didn't know how to love me bk. Now that he is so focused and getting his/our lives together, i.e. about to buy a house, we both are working a good steady jobs, in college, going to church regularly, reading the Bible, and praying together.... Now, I'm the one ready to destroy our family just to give him a taste of his own medicine bc I can't get over the past. PS I'm not an ugly person. In fact, everyone tells me on a regular how beautiful I am and I was raised that my outward beauty should match my inward beauty. So, I have always been forgiving. But now I feel like I'm being overtaken with evil and hatred even though no one knows it. I feel so stupid and stressed out! And I'm always worried that he is going to hurt me again.
I put this under waste because I've wasted my life. Here it goes.
I'm bad like really bad. But looking at me you would never know. People are catching on as my life falls apart. I've been living like a quadruple life I guess. I don't even know who I am anymore. I can't think of anything I like. I hate everything and everyone. I have no friends left, the women of my life cheated lied and stole the entire time I've known them. Most of my buddies too. Just users you know. I always offer too much and people gladly accept my generosity. I always try and help but it eventually becomes them being entirely dependent on me. Then they go and I've lost so much in them. I never see the fruits of my labours.
Now I'm totally alone. And financially ruined. Relying on booze and drugs to feel better about the shitty person I am. I pray to god thanking him only, not asking for more. He still rewards me a lot. Gives me great opportunity and strength to conquer challenges. But I can't conquer myself. I want to end my life. Nobody would notice except the few leeches who still cling to my generosity. Everybody I've helped is doing great. I never took time to take care of myself, or set myself up better. My friends, wife, in laws, girlfriends, and associates have all benefitted greatly from my efforts but I'm fucked mentally physically and financially. I even still protect people after they betray me. Keep their secrets, bend to their requests.
I'm going to blow my brains out.
I hate this world, it's ruined anyway. Goodby you fucked up people. There's a good chance that there is someone in your life going through this who helped you a lot. I bet you won't even reach out to repay what's owed. Sick fucking society world wide.
my love is very conditional. everyone else's is towards me so if others can be that way then so am I. all this stuff about you giving unconditional love won't heal you.it will help people abuse you but it will not make you healthy, wealthy or on top on life and joyful. people don't think your wise or smart forgiving them. they don't cry for forgiveness, they don't care if you forgive they just want you to abuse you again and be sucked in. don't do it.so they find new sucker who double takes em. they will find someone to fit their own level who will bust their asses and cut the frills and spills from their lipids. forget them and move on. you don't partake in xmas jolly giving you won't end up as fat as santa.
I have these desires with my girlfriend, like watching her with other men, swinging, threesomes, gangbangs, orgies, bondage, MFM bi sex, but i'm scared she'll think i'm weird and leave me.
About a month ago, I had a miscarage. I’ve only told my parents and husband about it and they’ve asked me if I was okay. I keep telling them I am and to not say anything to anyone else because it won’t change anything. But the truth is I was never okay to start with and i cry whenever I’m alone and no one can see it.
I am afraid to tell anyone I am lesbian. For years I have denied it, because I always second guess myself, and because I have never dated anyone I have just lied about it. I am stuck and miserable, my family already tries to shove God at me whenever they can. I am afraid of the reactions my friends would have. I feel so alone in this right now, I pretend to be interested in guys just so my family wont find out, because I know it'll all go to shit once they do. I am being judged by the people in my life that say who I am is disgusting, and they don't even know they are directing it at me. It fucking sucks, and I feel like lying is the only choice I have now.
#lies #lesbian #confession #family #friends #alone #fear #judgement
The last two weeks, I stole more office supplies and was more time on the internet than I worked.
I was in love with my friend freshman year. Fully, whole-heartedly in love. She knew it, and she used me. I was her proxy for verbally abusing our social group, so she could seen like the innocent saint. I would have died for her. She threw me away because I was depressed. I hate her now as much as I loved her then. I look back and see her as the selfish hypocrite she really was. Love really does make you blind. Never fall in love with a sociopath.
#abuse #manipulation #hate #love #sociopath #loyalty #liar #lies #sad
I have an IUD, but lately I've gotten into the habit of telling guys I'm not on birth control just for the fun of it. It started as a way to get them to complain less about condoms. Then one time I let a guy take the condom off. I made him think I could easily get pregnant and he said he would pull out but he didn't. When he told me he was coming in me, naturally I didn't bother to resist because I knew I was protected so I let him finish with a smile. I may have even opened my legs a little wider for him. When he got all nervous, I promised him that if I got pregnant I'd have his baby and give it up for adoption and he'd never have to worry bout it. He got sooo hard, sooo quick after I said that. It was the first time I ever had a guy fuck me twice in a row. Literally less than 5 minutes between. The effect it had on him made me excited. It felt good to have such a crazy effect on a guy.
So the next time I was about to have an anonymous hookup I let the guy think I could get pregnant and I let him go bareback. I kept enticing him... I kept asking him if it would feel better if he didn't have to pull out, if he was going to be a naughty boy and shoot inside me, I told him how much I wished I could feel him come in me, that it was too bad he had to pull out and I said all those things with an inviting smile. It worked. He couldn't resist. It was so much fun to see the look on his face. I seriously think guys come harder when they think they're going to knock me up. Except I don't think this guy believed me when I told him that I would never come asking for child support because he asked me to leave real fast.
The last time I had a hookup neither of us mentioned a condom or birth control at first. Once we got really into it I told him as cute as I could, "I'm not on birth control but I won't mind if you want to try and get me pregnant. I promise never to bother you with the responsibility unless you want it. I believe it's a woman's duty to pleasure a man and accept whatever consequences come of it." He didn't believe me and I scared him but after I reassured him he was really excited and into it. He told me it was the most intense sex of his life and he's been calling me to hookup again. I haven't yet. Tbh I don't really believe in those things I told him and I don't think it will be the same the second time with the same guy.
I have two concerns. Is it wrong to lie to strangers about being fertile when I am perfectly safe with an IUD? I feel a little guilty about the last guy because he's so excited by it but at same time it's really fun and makes me happy to give guys such a rare sort of pleasure and excitement. More importantly I don't usually have unprotected sex. I've only been with 6 guys no condom, 3 in the last 3 months. I get nervous about STI's. So far I'm still clean and I'm afraid it's going to take me getting something before I learn. This new kink isn't helping. It's really fun and I want to keep doing it with new guys.
As a Christian, I lied to my psychologist.
I told him that my girlfriend killed herself when I was 16 even though I found out in the last year that she actually was still alive.
I just didn't know how else to explain the train wreck of my life.
So now I feel like I need to come clean somehow.
But after I told him he confided in me that he lost a young patient one time earlier in his career and that he struggled for a long time wondering what he could have done to save him.
I feel like I have to level with him, but I feel absolutely wretched that I lied to him and he confided in me like that.
#lies
When me and my boyfriend first started having raw sex, I gave herpes to him not knowing I had herpes and I still feel guilty about that because he always talk about it. He’s given me an STD TWICE ! And every time I bring up him cheating on me and giving me and STD , he throws it in my face. The difference between my situation and his situation is that I didn’t go CHEAT and brought it back to him and he literally went and got head from another dirty bitch and brought me back trichomoniasis . My situation is this, me and him we’re starting a relationship and he decided to take off the condom. I didn’t know I had herpes because before me and him met I was promiscuous so when me and him got together I stopped doing what I was doing . He literally went and cheated on me while we were together and gave me an STD. I FEEL mostly bad about my situation because I gave him something he can’t get rid of because of my PAST and who I was . We both did terrible in this relationship and in two weeks it’s gonna be three years since we’ve been together and these years have been STRESSFUL, HARD, depressing. He put me down like it’s sooo much stuff this man has put me through. I’m 21 and he’s 28 and he manipulates me and controls me and my money smh
It is crazy to think that I was in love with my best friend but it is how it is. She has the most beautiful brown eyes I have ever seen and she is fearless. She likes dyeing her hair in crazy colors and she is not afraid of the outcome.
That seems not like much of a confession, huh?
Well, she is not gay nor has she ever shown interest in other girls. I always thought I am straight myself, but maybe not. I am not so sure.
So back to the story... We are both in our twenties (she 27, I am 28) and work in the same company, but not in the same department. She started dating one of MY co-workers and they hit it off like a house on fire. She had those lovey dovey heart shaped eyes for weeks and weeks on end. I tried to be happy for her, I really really tried, but I just couldn't take it anymore...
He came to me often for advice and asked me for my opinion on things to give her. At first I tried to be a friend and help him out but after a while I started telling him bullshit. She is a vegetarian (has been for ~10 years now) and apparently they never talked about this?!? They have been going out for like 6 weeks now and that never came up, wtf?
So, he asked me if she liked steak, because he wanted to cook for her. So I told him yes, that she loved steak and that she liked it English (i.e. almost raw) and of course he listened and cooked for her and made her the steak just as I told him, without checking with her or anything. He's such a dumbass, honestly...
I do not know what went down but it escalated apparently. They fought, they screamed and what not.
And the best of it? She did not find out that I told him about the meat!! She is not talking to him currently, but she came to me right afterwards and I was able to hold her in my arms and comfort her.
I'd definitely would do it again, even if it means that she's said.
#bff #inlove #crush #confession #secret #lies #vegetarian #steak #fight
I was in a long distance relationship with a girl on and off for the past 6 years or so. We sent nudes and all that shit, However she decided she was going to text my best friend (rip) and ask him if he wanted to see what i sent her. She was clearly obsessed with betraying me and lying to me constantly, so i had to spend my days stalking her online, she used to flirt with guys on stickam (rip stickam) behind my back and get high on cam all while telling me "i dont smoke anymore".
So one day i took a picture of my computer screen and what she was doing and sent it to her. She promised to straighten her shit out, long story short she didn't. after her constant betrayals i spammed her entire dox and nudes all over the internet and encouraged people to call the number. i left a bot on that repeated the message every 3 minutes. i was very hurt, and still am, she kept apologizing and wanting me back so of course i said yeah im sorry too. but a few months later i got sick of her shit AGAIN, so i blocked her number, her reaction was moving to kansas to turn into a drunk, while telling me all kinds of great lies, she got herself pregnant (for the second time, she had an abortion the first time). eventually on her birthday she called me crying like a bitch because nobody cared about her birthday and it was her first taste of the real world.
So for the next 2 years i tried to make things work with her even though she had somebody elses kid now. she didnt understand nor care how much it affected me. we had alot of arguments and instead of calling her a slut or a whore or whatever like i normally would i just started dishing out the truth on her and told her "you arent going to find somebody who wants a 22-23 year old single mother whos a pathological liar, that has fucked an excessive amount of people, is a complete bitch, has a history of drug and alcohol abuse, nobody is going to want you, and after all of that i am still talking to you." apparently she couldnt handle that.
she wanted to be FWB and that lasted all of 5 days. a few months ago she told me "its not going to work between us" so i replied "because im not good enough?" she says "No thats not it" "i want to live in a big house and have nice things and have more kids". I damn near died i just said "so basically im not good enough, sick contradictory statement". I told her i refuse to be friends with her under those circumstances if im going to be friendzoned and never given a legitimate chance at making a life with her.
I keep having dreams about her, i dont know what my problem is because i cant stop loving her, i wish i could, and i wish i could get over what she has done to me, i wish i could go more than 4 months without trying to talk to her. Hopefully this outlet will help me move on and i will find somebody who is actually worthy of my affection.
yes i know i didnt use proper punctuation and i dont care.
i lie all the time about loads of tiny things and i can't remember what the truth about my life is anymore
I have been dating this boy for a month now. I don't like him romantically but he's my first boyfriend and vice versa. He's a good person and I love him as a person but today he confessed he loved me. I don't love him back. I feel awful but I don't want to hurt him.
I told my friend i looked skinny but i was actually really fat when I told her this we later on had a fight so she decided she would tell everyone so I started making up some lies about her.
That's what you get.
It's funny, I used to sit in bed while on the phone with the one person I thought I would never lose and read people's confessions from this page. We would always say how some of the people on this page where so messed up and how we would never do any of that stuff.
One of those things was leave eachothers side. I mean he even gave me a promise ring to make things more convincing... for a while I thought this was it. He was my one true love, he was everything I ever wanted. Turns out, that promise ring was just an empty promise. All those times he said "we would never break up, we will always fix it, we always have.... we always will" were lies. He left. Of course he would, what guy could ever love me ? I scare them, apparently.
I really wish I would have known this was going to happen, because out of all people I never expected him to leave me when he knew I was alone.
Well I'm glad he decided to go find himself, I just wish he would have told me when he lost himself.
This ones for you Loyd.
I pretended to be a guy in an online relationship because the guy I like is bisexual with a preference towards guys, so I lied about my name my age and my gender, I just told him the truth and he said he still loves me
Ever since I was a kid I’ve lied. Little and big for no particular reason. Sometimes I get bored so I tell lies. They don’t always affect anyone, and sometimes I don’t tell people. Other times they do hurt people. I’ve lost friends to lies but at this point I can’t stop.
hi,i am m 22
i don't know where to start. i am finding myself in a horrible situation these days. I took admission in a costly university for my graduation degree. I had spent all of the money for my fees over the years on myself and my girlfriend who does not have a clue about this. She thinks i am some rich brat. She loves me a lot and i love her.I always had thought i will make out a way out of my misery. But the problem is now my days here are going to end and i don't have a single clue for what i am going to do next. I want to support my family, i want to give everything to my girl, but all these hopes are fading away. i quit smoking 2 weeks ago, and that is the only thing i had done right in my past 5 years Now i am restless all the time.
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