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Read the best #suicide confession stories
Dear ex boyfriend, I hope you find peace in heaven and love I couldn't give you when you were alive. Sorry for making you feel like a shit...now I am here feeling like shit myself, I wish I could do something to bring you back to me, but unfortunately I can't. I am hurt because I loved you too...I still do it's just that I didn't know how to show it. Forgive me if you can....I will always love you even though you are not here with me, but your memories are.
I told my ex boyfriend that I would commit suicide if he don't come back to me.
That was a lie of course. I love life too much as to through it away so easily.
My confession is that i tried to kill myself.
Everything just got too much for me. I never told anyone about it so it's kinda big deal that i write this now.
tried to drown myself but in the end i hadn't had the guts to do it.
But i know now that i have to change something bcause it can't go on like this....
I don't really have a goal in life, I ve helped taking care of my family all my life, I feel that, when my mom and sick uncle are not longer around, the only thing left for me is make sure my niece and nephew are well taken care of and then kill my self
Sometimes I consider attempting suicide just because on the off chance someone cares enough to save me, I might finally get the help I need. I'm cripplingly lost. No job, no family, no school, no future. I don't feel able to live the life that's necessary for me to be happy. I wish I were dead.
I put this under waste because I've wasted my life. Here it goes.
I'm bad like really bad. But looking at me you would never know. People are catching on as my life falls apart. I've been living like a quadruple life I guess. I don't even know who I am anymore. I can't think of anything I like. I hate everything and everyone. I have no friends left, the women of my life cheated lied and stole the entire time I've known them. Most of my buddies too. Just users you know. I always offer too much and people gladly accept my generosity. I always try and help but it eventually becomes them being entirely dependent on me. Then they go and I've lost so much in them. I never see the fruits of my labours.
Now I'm totally alone. And financially ruined. Relying on booze and drugs to feel better about the shitty person I am. I pray to god thanking him only, not asking for more. He still rewards me a lot. Gives me great opportunity and strength to conquer challenges. But I can't conquer myself. I want to end my life. Nobody would notice except the few leeches who still cling to my generosity. Everybody I've helped is doing great. I never took time to take care of myself, or set myself up better. My friends, wife, in laws, girlfriends, and associates have all benefitted greatly from my efforts but I'm fucked mentally physically and financially. I even still protect people after they betray me. Keep their secrets, bend to their requests.
I'm going to blow my brains out.
I hate this world, it's ruined anyway. Goodby you fucked up people. There's a good chance that there is someone in your life going through this who helped you a lot. I bet you won't even reach out to repay what's owed. Sick fucking society world wide.
It started when I was 14, I was being bullied, and abused by my boyfriend, and not knowing who to turn to, or how to even explain what people were doing to me, I looked for a release. I found it in self-harming. For months no one knew what I was doing, then my boyfriend caught me. He began to abuse me even further. It progressed from one time a week, to every day, to 2-3 times a day. This went on for nearly 8 months when my boyfriend then committed suicide.
I took it for the worse and tried to OD. I got help but 2 months later I relapsed, then another 4 months after than I did again. This went on until I met my now boyfriend. To this day, two years later I still self-harm when I breakdown. But for now I have been 3 months free.
Oh you guys do NOT understand how much I hate this fucking shit life. Gosh people annoy me so fucking much, plus I’ve got no friends. UGHHJJ I fucking hate it, you guys just don’t understand words can’t explain how much I hate life NO WORDS. The only good about life is food nothing else. UGHHHHH and I’m not going to kill myself because I still wanna eat, but that’s about all that’s hkeeping me going
I sometimes lie to try to help others. I don’t feel sorry for that but lying is wrong.
I wish I was everything I’m not
I wish I was skinny
I wish I was pretty
I wish I was lighter
I wish I had friends
I wish I had a life
I wish I wasn’t alone
I wish my life was different
I wish I could switch bodies with someone else, this girl is the person my best friend ditched me for and now I’m just alone, all the things we used to do she does with her. I just don’t know if people can even see me
I don’t care whether I live or die anymore. I’ve started just taking taking too many pain killers hoping it might just be enough to finish me off, if it wasn’t for the effort required in ending it all I’d already be dead.
I confess, I've always been a very apathetic person. I've never actually given two shits about anything, and am constantly talking to my psychiatrist about this. It has progressed more with my manipulative nature and become a monster. I constantly catfish sensitive people, male and female, the ones I figure have the most mental problems. I shake them down, tear down their walls and become their everything's. I play it off like I'm innocent. That I'm the one who needs the protecting. Then, I destroy them from the inside out . I watched one guy blow his own brains out after I asked him to. I told him, that if he loved me, he'd do it. I continue to do things like this today. And to be honest, I don't regret any of it.
I lie about everything. I lie to my teachers, I lie to my friends, I lie to my family. I don't want them to know that I am not ok. I don't want them to worry. I don't want them to know that this is the worse I have ever been. I don't want them to know that I think about suicide everyday.
I have undiagnosed depression and anxiety. I am going to cut today with a razor. I often have suicidal thoughts.
Went into nursing for the money and because I didn't know what else to do with my life. Now six weeks into my first job, I'm already thinking about leaving. I've struggled with depression, insecurity, and suicidal thoughts for about 7 years, and this career has resurfaced all of those old emotions. Working alongside nurses with 20+ years of experience and new doctors that think they know everything under the sun has made me feel incompetent, ignorant, and foolish. Don't get me wrong, I want to excel and be the best person I can, but it's just been so tough, mentally and spiritually. I'm starting to feel broken down before I even get on my feet. :/
#depression #greed #suicide #nursing #medicine #anxiety #despair
My brother was about to shoot himself and I called the police on him to intervene. He doesn’t talk to me anymore, his guns was removed and he got issued a few fines. Lost his job. He hates me with everything he has and secretly I love it. I love that he hates me, that he feels this great emotion towards me because it means his still alive. All I want is for him to keep fighting and if his hatred for me keeps him alive then I hope he hates me forever. If I had a chance I wouldn’t change a thing. The pain of you hating me wouldn’t hold a candle to the pain of never being able to see you grow old. I love you my brother
#suicide #brother #confession #depression #scared #pain
I seriously want to commit suicide. I'm just done with life. The friends that I thought would never switch up on me, did. My dad, who is like my best friend isn't talking to me. Rumors about me at school are going around that it's making me not want to go school no more. I just can't, I been wishing for death since a little kid for being bullied over my skin color. I have a boyfriend, he knows about my suicidal past, but not the reason why. He always tells me things about my skin color and asked me if bothered me. I said no because I didn't want to seem so fragile. But it in reality it hits me so hard. I hate that the first thing that goes through a mind of a person when they meet me is my skin color. I absolutely hate it. I just don't think I can't do this anymore. If I didn't have a boyfriend, I would honestly already do it.. but I don't want to break his heart bc I know how much it would hurt him.
To be honest, this has nothing to do with sex. I just wanted to get a message out and I knew most people usually go on this category. I've liked this guy for a little over a year now. We have a lot in common and we used to be really close because we were always having to sit next to each other in class. We had a band concert recently and I was really upset because this was the first concert I had where I wasn't sitting next to him. Later that week, I was hanging out with my friends when one of them.. let's call her May... brought up the topic of my crush... let's call him Brayden. I told them about how I felt after the concert was over and started to cry. All three of my friends... May... uh, Monica... and, uh, Alexis... told me I should just get over him. That is when I went full on rage mode.
They were telling me to get over him? For God's sake! I couldn't believe they went there! Alexis was fucking dating a guy from fucking Norway! May was fucking leading on a fucking senior (we are all freshmen)! Monica is asexual so I had nothing against her... but she has a secret admirer... let's call him Daniel... so, yeah. "Sure and in the meantime, May, you can stop talking to that Senior, Alexis, time for you to break up with that Norwegian guy, and Monica, you should just transfer schools so Daniel doesn't have to deal with your asexual ways!" I was so fucking mad!
By now you have all realised that I have a very short temper but I had a reason to snap. Next time you feel like telling someone to get over their crush, remember what it would be like if someone told you that. It sucks. We are separated now and Alexis commit suicide. I hate those girls so much for making me feel that shitty.
#love #betrayal #friends #crush #suicide #remember #tears #hate #temper #message
I'm a 21 year old gay male. Decent looking.
Anyway this starts all the way back in elementary school, I always felt different. I was the odd kid out and often picked on but if you were to look at me there would be no obvious reason. I was clean, looked normal but I was always off, this is when the horrible pattern started. I had met this kid, let's call him Cody, anyway we hit it off at first when school started because he was the new kid and I was a loner and we bonded over just running around at recess because neither of us liked sports (or ever were invited to play) and the swing set. As the year went on I thought everything was fine and normal, his mom even started volunteering at the school to serve snacks for the students which had given me a chance to meet his mom which I thought was great until i got pulled into the office one day. I was told that I was being suspended for harassing another student, it turns out Jake was deeply afraid of me and my vivid imagination, so afraid that he had pretended to be my friend so he wouldn't get hurt. His mom volunteered at the school to even keep an eye on me so she can see for herself what was going on. That's when I really knew something was wrong with me and what sickens me is that this exact same pattern of me finding one person and developing a dangerous fixation on them, my intent is never to harm them but I do... never physically but I'm so insecure in everything about myself. I need to pick a fight with them just to know that they care enough to argue back. I make up a sad story or suicide attempt to see how much they love me. I constantly push these boundaries to test how much they will take and if they will hurl me out of their lives too. This pattern has slowed down but not in a healthy way, ive now turned to opiates to give me that feeling of euphoria I would get when someone would say something nice to me or give me a hug. I'm up to about 160-200 mg of oxycodone use a day which I guess is enough to kill someone without a tollerance and everyday I wish I wouldn't wake up from my nod. When this isn't enough I turn to casual sex on grindr just so I can still feel sexy and desired, I never use condoms because I hope I get HIV, that'll kill me in a few years if I don't treat it hopefully. Oh I should also mention that the only person that ever loved me unconditionally no matter how bad I got died of cancer when I was 19, the same time my "fiancé" left me. He was actually pretty good at dealing with my crazy, he knew how to work around it but after losing my mom I got really bad. Wanna know what's funny? I have a high paying job! I'm really smart and manipulative so I was able to cheat a resume and land a 30$ an hour job, I just pretended I knew what was going on lol I've even bought a car recently. I have this random peaks of energy and sanity I think where I set a goal and then I work hard to acheieve it, all while hiding a drug addiction. This isn't easy to do but any addict can tell you that they'll figure something out to push them through the day. As you can see this is so haphazardly written because this is how my brain works, I'm never on a single path and do you want to know the sickest thing that torments me the most in my life? I love. I love so hard. I love everyone and everything. All I want to do is love each and every person on this earth and i know that I have enough compassion in my heart to go around to each one of you but with my deadly desire to be desired like that in return all I do is hurt anyone who crosses my path. I've stopped now. I even got on methadone to start saving up a chunk of money for my family and entered the methadone clinic who dose me every morning before work, then I go to my office, milk the fuck out of the clock, go home, pop some xanax or whatever drug I can get my hands on because I have stockpiled fake pee for the UA's and pass the fuck out. On my days off it's just a blur of some type of intoxication. The beauty of this is, I'm no longer harming anyone, I tell my family I'm just dedicated to my career and they believe me because they see the new diesel (used 2011) Ford Dually I bought. I'm not in emotional pain for the lack of not having human interactions. My account is growing slowly but since I don't pay rent I can put almost half my monthly income into savings. I've written a list of the names of all the people I've hurt and for each name is a letter telling them everything that's beautiful about them. In 6 more months (if my body can hold up to my downers at night and daytime stimulants) I'll leave on a positive note with my dads debt paid off and my brother a newer truck which he should be able to make the payments on with the way I got the loan set up. Fuck you guys I'm so sorry I've failed you all. I was supposed to be the one to take every tear and change it for you... there has never been a time when my compassion didn't bring joy to someone's face, in fact that's the only thing that's kept me here this long. Kill me if you want and can find out who posted this, it would help. Today is January 7th.. late July and the toxic creature that has infected our existence as a species will enter the void of nothingness. Damnit, I was supposed to be something so beneficial. Anyway, bye babes. You have my love - mine is not to reason why, yours is not to make reply for I am to do and die.
#insanity #death #suicide #fear #addiction #abandonment #loss
I am sick of my high-stress job and am afraid to quit.
I fear not to find another well paying job.
This drives me to consider suicide!
I hope the current Corona Virus will push the world into absolute chaos. Then I can be myself!
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