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Suicide Confessions

Read the best #suicide confession stories


I'm a 21 year old gay male. Decent looking.
Anyway this starts all the way back in elementary school, I always felt different. I was the odd kid out and often picked on but if you were to look at me there would be no obvious reason. I was clean, looked normal but I was always off, this is when the horrible pattern started. I had met this kid, let's call him Cody, anyway we hit it off at first when school started because he was the new kid and I was a loner and we bonded over just running around at recess because neither of us liked sports (or ever were invited to play) and the swing set. As the year went on I thought everything was fine and normal, his mom even started volunteering at the school to serve snacks for the students which had given me a chance to meet his mom which I thought was great until i got pulled into the office one day. I was told that I was being suspended for harassing another student, it turns out Jake was deeply afraid of me and my vivid imagination, so afraid that he had pretended to be my friend so he wouldn't get hurt. His mom volunteered at the school to even keep an eye on me so she can see for herself what was going on. That's when I really knew something was wrong with me and what sickens me is that this exact same pattern of me finding one person and developing a dangerous fixation on them, my intent is never to harm them but I do... never physically but I'm so insecure in everything about myself. I need to pick a fight with them just to know that they care enough to argue back. I make up a sad story or suicide attempt to see how much they love me. I constantly push these boundaries to test how much they will take and if they will hurl me out of their lives too. This pattern has slowed down but not in a healthy way, ive now turned to opiates to give me that feeling of euphoria I would get when someone would say something nice to me or give me a hug. I'm up to about 160-200 mg of oxycodone use a day which I guess is enough to kill someone without a tollerance and everyday I wish I wouldn't wake up from my nod. When this isn't enough I turn to casual sex on grindr just so I can still feel sexy and desired, I never use condoms because I hope I get HIV, that'll kill me in a few years if I don't treat it hopefully. Oh I should also mention that the only person that ever loved me unconditionally no matter how bad I got died of cancer when I was 19, the same time my "fiancé" left me. He was actually pretty good at dealing with my crazy, he knew how to work around it but after losing my mom I got really bad. Wanna know what's funny? I have a high paying job! I'm really smart and manipulative so I was able to cheat a resume and land a 30$ an hour job, I just pretended I knew what was going on lol I've even bought a car recently. I have this random peaks of energy and sanity I think where I set a goal and then I work hard to acheieve it, all while hiding a drug addiction. This isn't easy to do but any addict can tell you that they'll figure something out to push them through the day. As you can see this is so haphazardly written because this is how my brain works, I'm never on a single path and do you want to know the sickest thing that torments me the most in my life? I love. I love so hard. I love everyone and everything. All I want to do is love each and every person on this earth and i know that I have enough compassion in my heart to go around to each one of you but with my deadly desire to be desired like that in return all I do is hurt anyone who crosses my path. I've stopped now. I even got on methadone to start saving up a chunk of money for my family and entered the methadone clinic who dose me every morning before work, then I go to my office, milk the fuck out of the clock, go home, pop some xanax or whatever drug I can get my hands on because I have stockpiled fake pee for the UA's and pass the fuck out. On my days off it's just a blur of some type of intoxication. The beauty of this is, I'm no longer harming anyone, I tell my family I'm just dedicated to my career and they believe me because they see the new diesel (used 2011) Ford Dually I bought. I'm not in emotional pain for the lack of not having human interactions. My account is growing slowly but since I don't pay rent I can put almost half my monthly income into savings. I've written a list of the names of all the people I've hurt and for each name is a letter telling them everything that's beautiful about them. In 6 more months (if my body can hold up to my downers at night and daytime stimulants) I'll leave on a positive note with my dads debt paid off and my brother a newer truck which he should be able to make the payments on with the way I got the loan set up. Fuck you guys I'm so sorry I've failed you all. I was supposed to be the one to take every tear and change it for you... there has never been a time when my compassion didn't bring joy to someone's face, in fact that's the only thing that's kept me here this long. Kill me if you want and can find out who posted this, it would help. Today is January 7th.. late July and the toxic creature that has infected our existence as a species will enter the void of nothingness. Damnit, I was supposed to be something so beneficial. Anyway, bye babes. You have my love - mine is not to reason why, yours is not to make reply for I am to do and die.


#insanity   #death   #suicide   #fear   #addiction   #abandonment   #loss  


I am very depressed. I have lost all of my friends since I started high school just 7 months ago any my mom dad and sister are abusive. I am the oldest and I get walked all over and my parents are extremely mentally abusive. I would never report anything as i am scared of what would happen. My best friend is going to leave me as soon as she moves home from over seas and I'm worried. I don't have any friends and i could really use a boyfriend to help but i feel like i would just be better served dead.


#suicide   #abuse   #friends   #depression   #scared   #fear  


I sometimes lie to try to help others. I don’t feel sorry for that but lying is wrong.


#suicide   #lie  


It started when I was 14, I was being bullied, and abused by my boyfriend, and not knowing who to turn to, or how to even explain what people were doing to me, I looked for a release. I found it in self-harming. For months no one knew what I was doing, then my boyfriend caught me. He began to abuse me even further. It progressed from one time a week, to every day, to 2-3 times a day. This went on for nearly 8 months when my boyfriend then committed suicide.
I took it for the worse and tried to OD. I got help but 2 months later I relapsed, then another 4 months after than I did again. This went on until I met my now boyfriend. To this day, two years later I still self-harm when I breakdown. But for now I have been 3 months free.


#suicide   #overdose   #abuse   #stupidity   #violence  


I wish I didn't think so much about killing myself. I am not depressed or anything(from what I know)... I just do it. I am scared that I will kill myself in the future.


#suicide   #afraid  


I'm dead on the inside, I just feel miserable and sad all the time.
If it weren't to my son, I already would have killed myself. I just don't want to live anymore.


#miserable   #sad   #kill   #son   #live   #suicide  


Im 18 and i hate myself, i always have, i was born the youngest sibling and i was always the most annoying brat in the world, I couldn’t stop myself i had no self control from irritating everyone around me, it drove my mother to the point of beating me when i was 7, recently i was diagnosed by a doctor for having manic bipolar disorder and depression, i find i can never enjoy myself in social situations, i have a girlfriend but i dont want her to be with me anymore, I’m not the person i used to be.. i never was. I just want to finish, life is just day after day of agony and pain.
I cant make sense anymore. My brain is fucked!!


#sadness   #suicide   #anger  


I am with my boyfriend whose tried to kill himself three times, I love him but I also want to leave him because I feel like I'm trapped. But I know if I leave he will kill himself. I'm so scared but I don't know what else to do because I value his life and I love him.


#suicide   #depression  


I tried to commit suicide 2 days ago.
Took a lot of sleeping pills but it didn't work. I had to puke very bad and I since them I'm kind of sick.

When I think about it right now, it was kinda stupid idea. I need to talk to someone.


#suicide   #confession   #death   #sick   #puke  


I need to confess.
I've never asked for much in my life. Just to be happy. I can't seem to ever find it though. Every time I do it always ends up being fake. I hate that so much. But a while back I found happiness in a girl. She was everything I've ever wanted and more. I devoted my life to keeping her happy and I did everything to do so. We were inseparable, or so I thought. One day, not too long ago in fact, she decided to just throw away all we worked so hard to achieve.
I was so devastated I tried to kill myself numerous times. When my knives were finally taken away I looked up key points on my veins and took thumbtacks to each point. Several at a time too. The pain was unbearable and I thought it would work. It didn't obviously. People saw the scars and finally I got help. I was gone for a few days but it felt like a lifetime. When I finally got out of where I was I felt better but not helped. I still have thoughts of death and suicide and am having them now as I type these words. The scars serve as my own permanent reminder of what I went through. Everyone wants me to promise never to do it again...but these promises have been made in vain....


#suicide   #ex   #breakup   #life   #promise  


I don't really have a goal in life, I ve helped taking care of my family all my life, I feel that, when my mom and sick uncle are not longer around, the only thing left for me is make sure my niece and nephew are well taken care of and then kill my self


#suicide   #depression   #family  


I think about killing myself every day. I have a plan that I could put into action at any moment. I just waiting for that one more thing to push me over the edge. Just give me reason to end it all


#sad   #suicide   #depression  


Went into nursing for the money and because I didn't know what else to do with my life. Now six weeks into my first job, I'm already thinking about leaving. I've struggled with depression, insecurity, and suicidal thoughts for about 7 years, and this career has resurfaced all of those old emotions. Working alongside nurses with 20+ years of experience and new doctors that think they know everything under the sun has made me feel incompetent, ignorant, and foolish. Don't get me wrong, I want to excel and be the best person I can, but it's just been so tough, mentally and spiritually. I'm starting to feel broken down before I even get on my feet. :/


#depression   #greed   #suicide   #nursing   #medicine   #anxiety   #despair  


I shouldn't feel this way. I know that. I have no reason to. But I do. Whenever I'm with my 'friends' I feel like I'm not good enough. *Kylee is temperamental and hits me whenever I'm not good enough, like if I mock her, make a witty comment, or say or do anything the slightest bit offensive. *Sarah is just so frustrating. She doesn't know when is enough. *Tyler always- I don't even know what it is. He tries to get me angry, he just says things that get under my skin, and he never stops.
I'm going crazy. I can't even express what I'm feeling. My mind is a mess. But I'll tell you this: Every "I'm fine" or "Yeah, just tired" is a lie. Ever time I'm happy, I feel like I shouldn't be.
I hate that I have a wonderful life. I'm smart and athletic, and I always have things going on. I feel selfish for trying to die, even though I've tried before. But no one's noticed the cuts on my wrists. They're not deep, not lethal, but deep enough to scar, which is what I want. I want to live with proof that I'm stronger, because I've to hell and back enough times that I've started keeping count with cuts on my arm.
And I hate that I'm only 13.


#suicide   #crazy   #young   #breaking  


I'm a 20 year old guy. I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years. We're unbelievably close and have basically planned out lives together. But I can't help but feel that she's not the one. I've had a few drunken kisses with a few girls and a one night stand with a close friend. None of which she knows about, and all of them I feel terrible about. I know if I tell her she'll dump me. But I also know (almost for sure) that if we break up she will kill herself. I obviously don't want that to happen but I can't help but think about other girls.


#relationship   #cheating   #suicide  


Anyone that’s posting on here, I love you and I hope everything works out. There’s always hope xx


#all   #suicide   #selfharm   #anger   #depression   #mentalhealth  


I've been in deep depression for...well, it's been so long I forget. My family has now began to put it aside and I'm starting to be the neglected forgotten child in the house. My sister's kid has started to take my place. My father and I rarely talk anymore. Just the other day he refused to look at me once. The desire to just kill myself gets stronger every day. The pain of self harm starts to feel calming now. The pray that when I fall sleep, I never wake up. I keep a tab open of fastest ways to kill myself. I hate the fact I have to deal with this reality. I just want it to end....so bad. I've hurt myself to many times and no one has cared anymore. I've written so many suicide notes. I'm broken.


#depression   #suicide  


I wish I was everything I’m not
I wish I was skinny
I wish I was pretty
I wish I was lighter
I wish I had friends
I wish I had a life
I wish I wasn’t alone
I wish my life was different
I wish I could switch bodies with someone else, this girl is the person my best friend ditched me for and now I’m just alone, all the things we used to do she does with her. I just don’t know if people can even see me


#suicide   #lonely   #lonliness  


I have aspergers, therefore I'm awkward around everyone. All the time. Truthfully I'm just tired of every conversation. No ones ever gonna love me. Idk that I will see tomorrow.


#suicide   #depression   #aspergers  


I recently started having thoughts about killing myself because I feel like I bring such a big burden on my family. I want to do it because I dont wanna see them suffer anymore but I dont want to make them feel responsible for my death. I love them all so much and I would do anything just to give them the comfortable lives they deserve.


#suicide  



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