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My confession is that i tried to kill myself.
Everything just got too much for me. I never told anyone about it so it's kinda big deal that i write this now.
tried to drown myself but in the end i hadn't had the guts to do it.
But i know now that i have to change something bcause it can't go on like this....
I lie about everything. I lie to my teachers, I lie to my friends, I lie to my family. I don't want them to know that I am not ok. I don't want them to worry. I don't want them to know that this is the worse I have ever been. I don't want them to know that I think about suicide everyday.
I recently started having thoughts about killing myself because I feel like I bring such a big burden on my family. I want to do it because I dont wanna see them suffer anymore but I dont want to make them feel responsible for my death. I love them all so much and I would do anything just to give them the comfortable lives they deserve.
I attempted suicide during the pandemic I thought life could not get any better. I still have back problems.
I'm going to kill myself. I'm not sure when but I can feel my death stalking me every second of the day. I had a stroke at a pretty young age a few years ago. I didn't have any physical residual problems but emotionally I'm fried. I have a constant feeling of dread that lives deep in my gut, something that seems to be stuck inside my esophagus. Sometimes I feel ok, but thoughts of how I'm going to die are never far from my mind. I really want it to end.
Anyone that’s posting on here, I love you and I hope everything works out. There’s always hope xx
I am very depressed. I have lost all of my friends since I started high school just 7 months ago any my mom dad and sister are abusive. I am the oldest and I get walked all over and my parents are extremely mentally abusive. I would never report anything as i am scared of what would happen. My best friend is going to leave me as soon as she moves home from over seas and I'm worried. I don't have any friends and i could really use a boyfriend to help but i feel like i would just be better served dead.
I am just about out of hope. I feel like my last chance is getting electro convulsive therapy, if that doesn't help I will just kill myself because I can't live like this anymore.
I want to kill myself. I always have. I don't know why I feel this way maybe because my life is such shit or has gone to shit. I'm going to be a nurse but I haven't finished college yet and it feels like ill never get there. I have a beautiful daughter if it weren't for her and my belief in God I would've killed myself a long time ago. I've tried before but never got close enough. My fiance doesn't know how I feel he hardly talks to me on a daily basis. And I'm only 22(female) I have alot to look forward to. I feel so alone. I was molested by my sister at age of 5 and than when I was 16 my boyfriend of three years abused me physically and verbally. I just don't want to live anymore there is no love in this world.
I sometimes lie to try to help others. I don’t feel sorry for that but lying is wrong.
I can’t stop. Everything fucking hurts. I can’t sleep. I never stop hurting myself. Sometimes I don’t remember doing it and I wake up with cuts or burns.
I keep putting matches out on my hands, I cut, I put my hands into boiling water, I binge and then make myself throw up until I’m coughing up blood, and now I’m constantly thinking about stabbing my self, or cutting off my chest. (I’m FtM transgender). I can’t stop thinking about doing it. My chest is wrapped in bandages and duct tape. My ribs hurt so much but I can’t stop. I can’t stop.
#help #suicidal #selfharm #suicide #ftm #trans #ftmtrans #transgender #harm
I put this under waste because I've wasted my life. Here it goes.
I'm bad like really bad. But looking at me you would never know. People are catching on as my life falls apart. I've been living like a quadruple life I guess. I don't even know who I am anymore. I can't think of anything I like. I hate everything and everyone. I have no friends left, the women of my life cheated lied and stole the entire time I've known them. Most of my buddies too. Just users you know. I always offer too much and people gladly accept my generosity. I always try and help but it eventually becomes them being entirely dependent on me. Then they go and I've lost so much in them. I never see the fruits of my labours.
Now I'm totally alone. And financially ruined. Relying on booze and drugs to feel better about the shitty person I am. I pray to god thanking him only, not asking for more. He still rewards me a lot. Gives me great opportunity and strength to conquer challenges. But I can't conquer myself. I want to end my life. Nobody would notice except the few leeches who still cling to my generosity. Everybody I've helped is doing great. I never took time to take care of myself, or set myself up better. My friends, wife, in laws, girlfriends, and associates have all benefitted greatly from my efforts but I'm fucked mentally physically and financially. I even still protect people after they betray me. Keep their secrets, bend to their requests.
I'm going to blow my brains out.
I hate this world, it's ruined anyway. Goodby you fucked up people. There's a good chance that there is someone in your life going through this who helped you a lot. I bet you won't even reach out to repay what's owed. Sick fucking society world wide.
I need to confess.
I've never asked for much in my life. Just to be happy. I can't seem to ever find it though. Every time I do it always ends up being fake. I hate that so much. But a while back I found happiness in a girl. She was everything I've ever wanted and more. I devoted my life to keeping her happy and I did everything to do so. We were inseparable, or so I thought. One day, not too long ago in fact, she decided to just throw away all we worked so hard to achieve.
I was so devastated I tried to kill myself numerous times. When my knives were finally taken away I looked up key points on my veins and took thumbtacks to each point. Several at a time too. The pain was unbearable and I thought it would work. It didn't obviously. People saw the scars and finally I got help. I was gone for a few days but it felt like a lifetime. When I finally got out of where I was I felt better but not helped. I still have thoughts of death and suicide and am having them now as I type these words. The scars serve as my own permanent reminder of what I went through. Everyone wants me to promise never to do it again...but these promises have been made in vain....
Sometimes I consider attempting suicide just because on the off chance someone cares enough to save me, I might finally get the help I need. I'm cripplingly lost. No job, no family, no school, no future. I don't feel able to live the life that's necessary for me to be happy. I wish I were dead.
To be honest, this has nothing to do with sex. I just wanted to get a message out and I knew most people usually go on this category. I've liked this guy for a little over a year now. We have a lot in common and we used to be really close because we were always having to sit next to each other in class. We had a band concert recently and I was really upset because this was the first concert I had where I wasn't sitting next to him. Later that week, I was hanging out with my friends when one of them.. let's call her May... brought up the topic of my crush... let's call him Brayden. I told them about how I felt after the concert was over and started to cry. All three of my friends... May... uh, Monica... and, uh, Alexis... told me I should just get over him. That is when I went full on rage mode.
They were telling me to get over him? For God's sake! I couldn't believe they went there! Alexis was fucking dating a guy from fucking Norway! May was fucking leading on a fucking senior (we are all freshmen)! Monica is asexual so I had nothing against her... but she has a secret admirer... let's call him Daniel... so, yeah. "Sure and in the meantime, May, you can stop talking to that Senior, Alexis, time for you to break up with that Norwegian guy, and Monica, you should just transfer schools so Daniel doesn't have to deal with your asexual ways!" I was so fucking mad!
By now you have all realised that I have a very short temper but I had a reason to snap. Next time you feel like telling someone to get over their crush, remember what it would be like if someone told you that. It sucks. We are separated now and Alexis commit suicide. I hate those girls so much for making me feel that shitty.
#love #betrayal #friends #crush #suicide #remember #tears #hate #temper #message
I think about killing myself every day. I have a plan that I could put into action at any moment. I just waiting for that one more thing to push me over the edge. Just give me reason to end it all
#sad #suicide #depression
I confess, I've always been a very apathetic person. I've never actually given two shits about anything, and am constantly talking to my psychiatrist about this. It has progressed more with my manipulative nature and become a monster. I constantly catfish sensitive people, male and female, the ones I figure have the most mental problems. I shake them down, tear down their walls and become their everything's. I play it off like I'm innocent. That I'm the one who needs the protecting. Then, I destroy them from the inside out . I watched one guy blow his own brains out after I asked him to. I told him, that if he loved me, he'd do it. I continue to do things like this today. And to be honest, I don't regret any of it.
I don’t care whether I live or die anymore. I’ve started just taking taking too many pain killers hoping it might just be enough to finish me off, if it wasn’t for the effort required in ending it all I’d already be dead.
Sometimes I write suicide notes and hide them in my room until I can leave them on my desk before I overdose on pills.
I am sick of my high-stress job and am afraid to quit.
I fear not to find another well paying job.
This drives me to consider suicide!
I hope the current Corona Virus will push the world into absolute chaos. Then I can be myself!
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