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I’m a minor and I’m transgender (FtM). I’ve been “out” to my family for a year, and to friends for about three years. I’m struggling so much, my mom doesn’t support me and says shes “doing it cause she loves me.” I hate to even think about it but a lot of the time I find myself thinking of suicide, or “DIY top surgery” (pretty much stabbing myself). The thoughts haunt me at night, I can’t sleep because I can’t stop the intrusive thoughts. I’m typing this at 2:44 am. As cheesy as it sounds I always knew I wasn’t a girl, and the first time I tried to kill my self I was 12. Then again at 13. And again at 15 etc. I can’t take hormones or do anything to further my transition, the only thing I’ve been able to do is cut my hair. Clothes wise, the only masculine clothes I have are my dead dad’s, and my room still looks the same as when I was 9 years old and sitting in here makes me just want to end it because I’ll never be in the right body.
Thanks for listening I guess? Sorry for how depressing this is.
#transgender #trans #ftm #transftm #minor #suicide #depression #selfharm
Still even as a recovering anorexic, I still hate my body and hate the way my thighs are shaped.
I am depressed for quite a while now. It happens some times that I feel really really down for a couple of weeks, but it always gets better again after a while. But in those few weeks I feel really shitty and I also self harm. I innately feel like I am full of shit and deserve everything bad I get.
But now... it does not go away. I feel like this since around November last year and I guess it keeps getting worse and worse. I started wondering about suicide now. That never happened before. I imagine what it would be like if I ended it all, how everyone would react and how I would do it and how it would all simply be over. And it is not just like those thoughts you have, but real consideration.
Why am I writing this confession now? I just had one of those thoughts, of just ending it and I actually felt giddy and full of anticipation. It was only for a few seconds, but I think I need help.
#depression #help #suicide #selfharm #hurt
Fiancé keeps lying to me, going out with other people and shott. haven't seen her in a week. Have been drinking and doing cocaine since then. Screwing up at work. Don't know what to do.
I am terrified of myself sometimes. when i have my period sometimes i cover myself in my own blood to fight the urge to self harm.
Anyone that’s posting on here, I love you and I hope everything works out. There’s always hope xx
I am always sad and want nothing to do with my school friends or friends that I have made through cheer. I used to be the person who was always doing something and never wanted to be home. I was constantly surrounded by people and friends. Ever since I started high school, that has all changed. I lost all of my close friends and no I find myself playing with my pets and doing nothing but going to practice. Its sad because I want to be back to my super social life and have all my friends back but everyone seems to hate me. I have thought about killing myself due to the amount of mean comments and things being said about my by people I thought were my friends. I am most certainly depressed but I don't want to talk to my parents about it because they are very abusive.
i find anyway to hurt my body in my power it’s not mine anyways that’s why it must suffer the way it makes me feel every day.
After becoming suicidal, I stopped looking at it as a bad thing and believe some people deserve it.
I'm going to kill myself. I'm not sure when but I can feel my death stalking me every second of the day. I had a stroke at a pretty young age a few years ago. I didn't have any physical residual problems but emotionally I'm fried. I have a constant feeling of dread that lives deep in my gut, something that seems to be stuck inside my esophagus. Sometimes I feel ok, but thoughts of how I'm going to die are never far from my mind. I really want it to end.
So im like the "hated" friend in the friend group. like i know they dont actually hate me but everyone is CONSTANTLY mean to you yk. it sucks. like so much. ill just say one word and immediately everyone is like "ew why are they here kick them out no one likes them" 😃 considering how long this has been going on and the fact that EVERYONE is doing it just hurts a lot and makes you wonder if they actually hate you cause of the words they send. idk im pretty emotional to might be wrong but 🧍 its gotten to be one of the reasons i hurt myself, but i dont like putting th blame on people so i just dont talk abt it cause i can deal with it
When I was 13 I would cut myself. Mostly, because I got bullied everyday for being gay. I tried killing myself 6 times. I would cut more then 7 times a day. It went on for about 6 months. Then I went to a treatment centre. I tried wearing shirts with short sleeves, but sometimes I can get really insecure about the scars on my arms. But I have fully recovered from self-harm. I survived. I got through it. I know how hard life can be. But just hold on for a little longer. It could change your life. Stay strong.
—Danny
I told them to stop, but I couldn't stop myself from self-harm.
It hurts, but it makes me feel better, and I can’t stop
I’m so sorry...
I got a recommendation from Instagram to follow my ex gfs new profile and because I don't care about my mental health I stalked her whole profile and became severely depressed thinking about how much I miss her and still love her. I had a breakdown, cut myself, and cried on the phone to my friend. I'm worried I may never move on from her because I truly feel like she was the only love of my life.
#breakup #relationship #exgirlfriend #breakdown #selfharm #depressed
I was diagnosed with depression 4 years ago , I was so confused but everything started to make sense. I was introduced to self harm and she became my bestfriend, i cut myself so much I have lots of scars they are very noticeable. I abused a lot of drugs for example meth , weed , & pills I also drank a lot of alcohol to escape the pain I feel everyday, I'm miserable so very miserable, my anxiety has gotten very bad that I stay in my room at all times . I hate going out and as sad it sounds I just prefer to be dead . Please save me
im 17, my mom is a drug attict but i love her to death, she does heroin, and crack, this year 2016, i started to do herion somtimes and smoke crack sometimes, i just started because i have triedd other drugs just for the experience but i wonderd why my mom does heroin and cack all the time.. now i know the reason, but anywayone day i got a bag of heroin from my mom, she is aware i do it somtimes. anyway, i do this bag of heroin and i felt amazing, all i rember is closing my eyes, apperently i was dead, my body was purple from no oxygen and i wasnt breathing so my mom and my bestfriend who was there but she didnt know i was on drugs, they called the ambuence and they had to stick somthing up my nose so i can start breathing again, i woke up in the hospital and once i was told that i was dead i flipped out, i actually want to die, anyway after that i stopped for a while but now i do it again, yesterday night i did 2 bags of dope, the first one i did about 8pm, i didnt really feel what i wanted by 9pm so i did another one, about 20 min later i was smoking a blunt of weed with my sister and i wasnt feeling good at all, my head felt ike it was going to explode, so i put the blunt out and went into my house, i said goodnight to everyone and to her, i went in my room and i already knew i was overdosing, i tried so hard to keep myself awake because i didnt want to die so randomly, like i wasnt ready, i kept myself up untill 3 am and then finally said fuck it and went to bed, i woke up fine buti just been thinking since then.. why didnt i just lt it happen, maybe i want to live?.. idk but i really want to do it again and end it,,
My name is Jenna, I'm 13. I'm in grade 8 now, this started in grade 6. My parents told me they were splitting up (they're together now) but that took a huge toll on me. I cut my wrist for the 1st time and only did it a few more times in grade 6 after that. Once my parents got back together I was so happy and grade 7 I didn't self harm, but that's when I started starving myself because the boys in my class would call me fat a lot. Now I'm in grade 8 and I didn't think it was possible but I'm way worse then I ever have been. My parents know about my depression, cutting and eating issue and a few of my friends do too. They say they're there for me but they never check up on me or let me open up to them. This year I haven't been eating much, I've lost 30 pounds and I'm still losing more. My best friend of 4 years left me and hates me now. My boyfriend cheated on me twice with my ex best friend. I was diagnosed with depression this year and I cut almost everyday and I've attempted suicide but failed unfortunately. I'm so unhappy and depressed and no one knows how I feel. I wish someone would reach out and help because I'm so done with life. I'm on the edge ready to end it and no one can stop me..
Last year I started it felt really good when spilt my skin open I didn't want my parents to know they found out they told me to stop or else I did, this year I started again I told my friends one of them he said he will be there for me the other you are all g but he told my sister I feel really bad I made so much people cry because I self harm he said is it really necessary to cut I just cant stop its like drug everyone in my school knows some how when I walk into the school I get looks it scares me that people hate me now ' if you really care about me then don't tell' I say some people don't understand me I get really upset I need to cut I couldn't eat I cant sleep I told my friends I'm the middle of the night to help me he did but I'm still cutting but I cant if I do my sister will tell my parents so at camp because camp is coming soon I'm gonna cut there no one can stop there's way more for this confession but I gotta go...
i have been clean from self harm for two and a half years. i am going to break that clean streak today.
I can’t stop. Everything fucking hurts. I can’t sleep. I never stop hurting myself. Sometimes I don’t remember doing it and I wake up with cuts or burns.
I keep putting matches out on my hands, I cut, I put my hands into boiling water, I binge and then make myself throw up until I’m coughing up blood, and now I’m constantly thinking about stabbing my self, or cutting off my chest. (I’m FtM transgender). I can’t stop thinking about doing it. My chest is wrapped in bandages and duct tape. My ribs hurt so much but I can’t stop. I can’t stop.
#help #suicidal #selfharm #suicide #ftm #trans #ftmtrans #transgender #harm
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