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I am terrified of myself sometimes. when i have my period sometimes i cover myself in my own blood to fight the urge to self harm.
It's been a month since I last self harmed.
I stopped doing it because I got into a relationship, and I'm afraid of my girlfriend's reaction if she found out.
The thing is, I don't know for how long I can keep going. Every day is a struggle and it never leaves my mind. Even when I'm doing something or distracted the "want" is always lurking around.
It feels stronger than me. I want to just give in, but at the same time I can't. This is killing me.
I hate my husband because he doesn’t do anything little for me and calls me a “strong, independent woman” when I’ve told him how insulting it is that he does it as an excuse to do nothing. For example, he didn’t do anything for me when I was sick and pregnant because I’m a “strong, independent woman,” despite the fact that I was working my ass off until the day I gave birth. We both work full time and have one child. I do ALL the mental work (planning, shopping, appointments, telling him what to do, what to clean, etc). On the rare occasion he does laundry, he won’t even pair my socks. Like…come on guy. The fact that he won’t pair my socks was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I am 15 and I got my first tattoo like 3 days ago. I managed to find a tattooist who did not ask for any ID and as I look older this was no issue at all. I got a big anchor and a cross on my upper arm, it looks lit as fuck!!! But it started to hurt like a couple of hours after I got it and it hasn't stopped. Now I am quite scared that it will get infected or something. It's a bit red and a bit swollen...
The problem is, my parents are not supposed to find out about it. They would have my head if they knew. So I am only wearing long sleeves for now but I am scared I need to go see a doctor about it? They will find out if I have to go...
When me and my boyfriend first started having raw sex, I gave herpes to him not knowing I had herpes and I still feel guilty about that because he always talk about it. He’s given me an STD TWICE ! And every time I bring up him cheating on me and giving me and STD , he throws it in my face. The difference between my situation and his situation is that I didn’t go CHEAT and brought it back to him and he literally went and got head from another dirty bitch and brought me back trichomoniasis . My situation is this, me and him we’re starting a relationship and he decided to take off the condom. I didn’t know I had herpes because before me and him met I was promiscuous so when me and him got together I stopped doing what I was doing . He literally went and cheated on me while we were together and gave me an STD. I FEEL mostly bad about my situation because I gave him something he can’t get rid of because of my PAST and who I was . We both did terrible in this relationship and in two weeks it’s gonna be three years since we’ve been together and these years have been STRESSFUL, HARD, depressing. He put me down like it’s sooo much stuff this man has put me through. I’m 21 and he’s 28 and he manipulates me and controls me and my money smh
I really am fascinated by blood, is that weird? Sometimes I bite the base of my tongue and press until I taste blood. I’m not saying I love the taste of blood, because I don’t. This is just a repetitive habit, and other times I have liked the feeling when I pierce my thumb with the edge of a steak knife and the blood just drips and drips. Am I too dark? Is this too bad?
Then last week I made a mild slit on my nigh wrist since the knife was incredibly blunt, and I actually really like the way those scars look. And it didn’t hurt at all. I don’t know what I am.
So my girlfriend and I had a long fight last night... I would go into details but I don't have the energy to type... Right now though... She's been talking too much about hurting herself... She's had a history and I've made he promise not to do that so she hasn't yet... But she keeps talking about it... I wanna hurt myself and show her how much it'll hurt me of she hurts herself... But if I do that I'll be hurting her myself... What do I do
I think I'd like to hurt someone. Not like hurting someone physically, but more emotionally. I want to break someone's heart.
I've been heartbroken so many times already. I've cried so many times for people that I loved, but they did not love me back.
I also want someone to cry because of me because they think I am the ideal one.
#hurt #love #heartbreak #heartbroken #sin #confession
On the 8th of April 2015 I confessed to a girl who seemed to have no interest whatsoever in me. We got closer and closer as the days passed. Two weeks from the confession day, she asked me out on a date (25th April). We went for a movie date. That was my first and my last date with her. We held hands throughout the movie. We weren't even officially together when we went on that date. On the night of 10th May 2015, she asked me to officially be her girlfriend. I was over cloud 9. My happiest moment. We were like the happiest couple but I don't know why she started ignoring me. Exactly on her birthday was our one month as a couple. Things weren't roses between us but I still loved her. The ignoring got worse after her birthday. For 2 weeks I felt like poop. Being ignored by the person I loved the most. I decided to break it off with her considering the fact that she didn't seem to have interest in me anymore. She agreed which shattered my heart into pieces because what's lost will never return.
I cried like a baby that night. 45 days with her. It's not that long but every memory just makes me smile. It's been 2 months since the break up and now she treats me like a stranger. It hurts.
My gf is so annoying when it comes to being sensitive. We are both thick skinned and can joke about pretty much anything. She makes fun of me all the time for having no mom and that my mom went to jail. And I always laugh it off because it genuinely doesn’t bother me. But then if I joke about the wrong thing with her she gets all mad at me. She says it makes her uncomfortable and she doesn’t like it then if I say well you talk about me having no mom and I don’t get mad she gets all angry. For example, she kissed a girl when she was really young. I think it’s funny and not that serious so When she calls me gay as a joke and I say well didn’t you kiss a girl she gets all mad and calls me a bad person. Like she literally will say stuff like didn’t your mom teach you… oh wait you don’t have a mom hahaha. And I never get mad about it because it’s just jokes. But then she wants to play victim and say I go to far.
I argued with a friend of mine because he said things to me that hurt me very much.
I told him to stop but he kept on nagging and making jokes way below the belt.
It hurt really bad because he said some mean stuff about my personality.
I, then, told him my opinion on him and now he's mad at me! It wasn't even the bad stuff I think about him.
I'm writing this because I urge to cut myself again.
Haven't done it for a while ... well, I guess one or two weeks.
In the last few weeks, I felt so weak, so vulnerable.
The only thing that helps is cutting.
#cutting #personality #fight #friend #hurt
About two months ago a friend from school contacted me that I hadn’t talked to in probably 12 years. He first asked random questions regarding the story I had posted on my Instagram account. This didn’t occur often but a couple of weeks ago he told me he was moving back across the country. He mentioned getting a bunch of our old mutual friends together since it had been so long. This happened at about four o’clock in the morning. I thought that it seemed weird he would be sending out messages to everyone so early in the morning but went on to disregard it as being in a different time zone. I told him it would be nice to see everyone and to get a hold of me when the little reunion would be. Not until tonight did I realize that he has only been contacting me. I hadn’t thought of him in any inappropriate ways but thought about how my boyfriend would feel if I told him about the situation. I’ve been head over heels in love with the most amazing man I’ve ever met for the past five and a half years. He’s my dearest best friend and the best thing to ever happen to me. He’s the man I’m going to marry. I’m not sure how I would feel about the situation being the other way around but I’m sure it would start with feeling physically hurt. I am so ignorant for not realizing the hidden agenda of this “old friend” and cannot believe I would be so stupid to reply and give him the time of day.
There's day when I feel 100% and days like today when I want to end it all... I don't know why it's like this or why I tend to get this way but I wish he knew I needed him.
#lonely #hurt #depression
I was attacked yesterday for looking at the actor patrice in lady hear me tonight video and yeh I said I liked him 10 years ago and 20 years ago and no one bullied me then? its not nice people doing this shit on me. I should be allowed to like what I want.
I am sick of being bullied over this stuff.
is it just due to my ignorance?
Because I have some kind of suppressed anger or something, I hurt my boyfriend VERY often. I don't know how it happens but I often say something that really hurts him or I hit him unintentionally.
Some time ago, I thought about leaving him for another man but I thought we handled it and that we were happy but I notice now that there's still some anger in me I can't control. Very strange.
I LOVE the smell of desinfectant spray. It smells so nice and clean, simply irresistible!
That's why I clean my apartment with that spray once a week. Especially my telefon, or door knobs, my computer and stuff I touch often. In the morning, I clean my hands with it because it smells so good.
My skin already cracks and it hurts, but I don't care, as long as I'm able to smell the desinfectant spray!
i have fictional stories i make with my partner, and they have stories with their friends as well. they only talk about or find any comfort in this one particular friend’s story and characters and it stresses me out, plus as of the past few months they’re extremely reluctant to talk about our stories and tend to get distracted, leave me on delivered, or otherwise show a lack of interest until the subject changes. it’s really hurtful and i don’t know what to do about it, and i’m especially worried not only because i’ve been cheated on before but because said friend is their ex. i trust them, but it’s really painful to think that they’re more comfortable and happy with their friend than me, their partner.
#relationships #hurtful #hurt #pain #cheating
I got drunk and lost my virginity to my friends dad. I was too drunk to remember exactly what happened but I was asleep and woke up to him thrusting inside me. Then I blacked out again. The next morning I woke up and found he didn't use a condom. Its basically rape and I fear I might have an std.
I love you more than anything or anyone. I want to be with you every second of every day. I want you to be happy, for me to be happy. I wish you could see it the same way I see it. I’m sorry I hurt you. I did not desert you. I’m not crazy. But I may think you are. I really love or loved you more than anything in the world. I’m sorry you had to say Goodbye.
I feel the urge to hurt someone. And I don't mean a punch in the face but really HURT somebody. I don't know where this urge comes from but I often dream about breaking someone's fingers one by one. It doesn't turn me on or anything, it's more like a hunger inside of me, I just want to do this. They shouldn't die but they really should feel the pain, I want to hear them scream.
I would hurt every person but preferable female.
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