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My (m.29 at the time) fiancé (f. 28 at the time) died 2 years ago, we were together for 9 years. It happened out of the blue and we didn't see it coming. Ever since then i've gotten so depressed and lost myself so much from the person i used to be that i'm not sure she would still love me. I've started having panic attacks over the silliest things about my own health (i.e., think i'm having a heart attack, stroke, ect...) with no reason to believe that those things are happening or could. I tried going to therapy not long after she had passed away, but i didn't like the doctor, he just felt really robotic and like he was reading from a script, so i stopped going, and haven't done anything about it since. i'm not sure if it's survivors guilt or something, but i almost don't care to take care of myself for reasons i can't exactly pinpoint. i don't want to talk to my parents or friends or other family about my mental health situation because i know it would just upset them and make them sad for me and i don't want to do that to them. sometimes i just want to pack the most basic of belongings and just disappear out of their lives and maybe they'd just forget about me and i can have a do over with my life. i don't think i ever would, but i think about it a lot.
Anyone that’s posting on here, I love you and I hope everything works out. There’s always hope xx
I’m 14 years old, and my mood has been getting really bad except I haven’t tried to tell anyone, and I’ve started skipping classes and vaping. I’ve been arguing with my mom now, and I am easily irritable.
When I was 15 I was diagnosed with Anorexia after taking a really bad mental fall. It's been many years later and I never fully recovered, but I find myself constantly restricting and vomiting, and always feeling disgusted with myself. I have a 19.7 BMI, but it's not good enough. I really want to get underweight to prove to others that I am skinny, I am in control, I want to scare people, I find a numbing feeling that comes with this, and I love it.
Of course, the side effects of the disease is wretched and I think of how lovely recovery would be. I'm not here to get hate, Im just here to confess. I already seek therapy.
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