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So im like the "hated" friend in the friend group. like i know they dont actually hate me but everyone is CONSTANTLY mean to you yk. it sucks. like so much. ill just say one word and immediately everyone is like "ew why are they here kick them out no one likes them" 😃 considering how long this has been going on and the fact that EVERYONE is doing it just hurts a lot and makes you wonder if they actually hate you cause of the words they send. idk im pretty emotional to might be wrong but 🧍 its gotten to be one of the reasons i hurt myself, but i dont like putting th blame on people so i just dont talk abt it cause i can deal with it
i have been clean from self harm for two and a half years. i am going to break that clean streak today.
I can’t stop. Everything fucking hurts. I can’t sleep. I never stop hurting myself. Sometimes I don’t remember doing it and I wake up with cuts or burns.
I keep putting matches out on my hands, I cut, I put my hands into boiling water, I binge and then make myself throw up until I’m coughing up blood, and now I’m constantly thinking about stabbing my self, or cutting off my chest. (I’m FtM transgender). I can’t stop thinking about doing it. My chest is wrapped in bandages and duct tape. My ribs hurt so much but I can’t stop. I can’t stop.
#help #suicidal #selfharm #suicide #ftm #trans #ftmtrans #transgender #harm
I am an avid self harmer. All in the name of sex (and a pinch of self hatred). I am addicted to blood I cut myself really nasty last night and the tub water looked like a cheap red wine. All I did for hours after was masturbate. The water even tasted like my blood
i find anyway to hurt my body in my power it’s not mine anyways that’s why it must suffer the way it makes me feel every day.
I lie to my family, tell them I don't have shit to self-harm with, I go through their things for my addiction. The urges are too strong. I think i'm going to die soon by running into the highway.
Fiancé keeps lying to me, going out with other people and shott. haven't seen her in a week. Have been drinking and doing cocaine since then. Screwing up at work. Don't know what to do.
I am a prostitute and I run an entire 'escorting' business. I didn't need the money; I'd been a self-harmer and suicidal for years so I did it out of self hatred, and now I have a business so I can't really get out of it. The most disgusting parts about this are:
1) I have a girlfriend and she doesn't know anything about my business or the people I've slept with
2) I aren't actually 18 yet, unknown by my clients...
I'm going to kill myself. I'm not sure when but I can feel my death stalking me every second of the day. I had a stroke at a pretty young age a few years ago. I didn't have any physical residual problems but emotionally I'm fried. I have a constant feeling of dread that lives deep in my gut, something that seems to be stuck inside my esophagus. Sometimes I feel ok, but thoughts of how I'm going to die are never far from my mind. I really want it to end.
It started when I was 14, I was being bullied, and abused by my boyfriend, and not knowing who to turn to, or how to even explain what people were doing to me, I looked for a release. I found it in self-harming. For months no one knew what I was doing, then my boyfriend caught me. He began to abuse me even further. It progressed from one time a week, to every day, to 2-3 times a day. This went on for nearly 8 months when my boyfriend then committed suicide.
I took it for the worse and tried to OD. I got help but 2 months later I relapsed, then another 4 months after than I did again. This went on until I met my now boyfriend. To this day, two years later I still self-harm when I breakdown. But for now I have been 3 months free.
I’m a minor and I’m transgender (FtM). I’ve been “out” to my family for a year, and to friends for about three years. I’m struggling so much, my mom doesn’t support me and says shes “doing it cause she loves me.” I hate to even think about it but a lot of the time I find myself thinking of suicide, or “DIY top surgery” (pretty much stabbing myself). The thoughts haunt me at night, I can’t sleep because I can’t stop the intrusive thoughts. I’m typing this at 2:44 am. As cheesy as it sounds I always knew I wasn’t a girl, and the first time I tried to kill my self I was 12. Then again at 13. And again at 15 etc. I can’t take hormones or do anything to further my transition, the only thing I’ve been able to do is cut my hair. Clothes wise, the only masculine clothes I have are my dead dad’s, and my room still looks the same as when I was 9 years old and sitting in here makes me just want to end it because I’ll never be in the right body.
Thanks for listening I guess? Sorry for how depressing this is.
#transgender #trans #ftm #transftm #minor #suicide #depression #selfharm
I use to cut. Have been clean for months now and Im ok with that but once in a while I see on Instagram accounts with self harmers and see how DEEP they go and wish I wouldve done that too. I mean my cuts were deep were the flesh just parted and ripped open but not to the point were you can see fat or need stitches. I miss that I really do.
I'm only 12 and self harm. No one knows and that's how I want to keep it. My friends are worried because I was cutting my arms but I switch places so they can't see the scars. They constantly want me to eat more like if I don't eat enough. Also we have new teachers and they are constantly annoying the class and I'm just so done. I have not attempted suicide and am not considered suicidal, but if there is a situation where I'm about to die I will surly let myself. I'm just a messed up teen trying to make sure others don't self harm or commit suicide.
Anyone that’s posting on here, I love you and I hope everything works out. There’s always hope xx
I am cutting myself. I don't even now why. It just... happens. Sometimes I am a bit hypersensitive about my environment and every little thing that goes wrong drives me crazy.
I don't hurt myself for several months, but then BOOM and it happens. Mostly, it's just a really small thing and I almost explode because of my feelings.
But the worst part is, I know I won't stop it. I don't want to.
If I can Use Sex as a habit instead of Self harm everyday, I would. I thought I will have a panic attack if I selfed harm again but all what I was feeling this strange emptiness. And I liked it.
I told them to stop, but I couldn't stop myself from self-harm.
It hurts, but it makes me feel better, and I can’t stop
I’m so sorry...
I shouldn't feel this way. I know that. I have no reason to. But I do. Whenever I'm with my 'friends' I feel like I'm not good enough. *Kylee is temperamental and hits me whenever I'm not good enough, like if I mock her, make a witty comment, or say or do anything the slightest bit offensive. *Sarah is just so frustrating. She doesn't know when is enough. *Tyler always- I don't even know what it is. He tries to get me angry, he just says things that get under my skin, and he never stops.
I'm going crazy. I can't even express what I'm feeling. My mind is a mess. But I'll tell you this: Every "I'm fine" or "Yeah, just tired" is a lie. Ever time I'm happy, I feel like I shouldn't be.
I hate that I have a wonderful life. I'm smart and athletic, and I always have things going on. I feel selfish for trying to die, even though I've tried before. But no one's noticed the cuts on my wrists. They're not deep, not lethal, but deep enough to scar, which is what I want. I want to live with proof that I'm stronger, because I've to hell and back enough times that I've started keeping count with cuts on my arm.
And I hate that I'm only 13.
I used to cut myself to escape everything and feel nothing. I stopped cutting now. But I can't stop harming. I like it and it helps. I don't know. Maybe I am as crazy as they say.
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