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I don't think I am good enough for anyone. I put my guard up in intimate relationships and find it easier to talk to friends. The only way to feel value is when I can help them through a tough time. It makes me feel useful and that I can have a purpose in life.
I survived for 3 years alone. But now I’m breaking. Its hard to be alone with no one to talk to. No one to touch me. Now i have no TV. It’s so depressing to be alone.
I went out and sat on the park bench to think. It was early in the morning and this jogger ran by and I watched him. I got up and decided to get a cup of coffee so I went to this small breakfast place and ordered breakfast. I went home and felt bad for eating so much, got into the shower and spent some time washing my penis. It felt good. I thought about the jogger. I dried off and decided to masturbate. I got the lube out, my butt plug, inserted it in. Got the camera out, set it up, got the mirror set up and jerked off. It felt good. I looked out the window and saw these kids at the bus stop. I wondered if any of them were masturbating yet. I'd be glad to teach them.
I got dressed, as much as needed, set up for work. The day went by slowly, issues came up and I handled them. At noon I had some soup, no sense in eating too much. After work I decided to go out and see if I could be picked up. I went to the usual place where men come looking for men like me. I got in the car with a man and he said he wanted it hard, ok with me. We went to this motel where he had a room rented. He was rough, men like him are always rough. He dropped me off back where he picked me up, I walked home and masturbated again and now I need to get some sleep.
I’m dependent on my boyfriend for income and we live together in our house. I love him but I’m so unhappy. I don’t know what to do anymore. I try to just forget how I feel and be positive about everything but it’s so hard to shove all of my feelings to the back of my mind. When I do say how I feel I end up being the bad guy because I get so angry and frustrated or I break down into a sobbing mess. When the ladder happens he apologizes and promises to change but then nothing ever does. It’s not like all of the things he does separately are deal breakers but when you lump it all together it just feels like so much and I can’t can’t handle it. I am so lost and hurting and there’s nothing I can really do about it
I just wanna be in a happy loving relationship when I'm alone I feel empty and pointless when ever I meet someone I Bury myself in them and my whole life basically revolves around them, then after a month I get bored self destructive and the relationship ends (on my end) I'm worried that the relationships that ended when I was still, I guess in love with the other person where my only chances at true love and I fucked them up, I can't be alone I can't stand it I feel trapped just I need someone to love me cuddle me and force themselves on me when I feel bored and never leave me when I love them I just wanna be happy
I am home alone all weekend what should I do??? Sexual and Non sexual ideas please.
I feel lost. A year ago I was in the hospital from dka and I was in a coma for almost two weeks. My previous ex saved me from dying but also left me because of me being sick. I've always been depressed and I've always been okay with the idea of dying deep down inside. I try to push it off and try to bury myself in other people's problems so I can help them and I even help others out of depression but I can't help myself. I'm with someone very special to me but I still feel like I'm just not suppose to exist. I can't fight the feeling that I'm holding everyone back and I'm just getting in the way and that my condition is just making people feel sorry for me. I have a problem with accepting that people love me because I just can't love myself. I can't shake the feeling of needing to be gone. I can't shake feeling like no one should have saved me when I almost died. Like they should have been late and that I should have died. I just want everyone to be happy because I just can't be. I'm tearing people apart and pushing people away because I feel like I'm hurting people and I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. Why do I feel so alone when I have someone who cherishes me more then anything in the world. I don't understand why I'm like this. I can't understand why I wanna die so much but I do and I have no one I can say this to because if I do they will just call me crazy but am I so crazy to want everyone to be happy and not feel like I do? I want people to feel free to do what they want without worrying about sick me at home. I don't want to be a burden anymore even when they tell I'm not o still feel it. I know it inside that I'm just holding everyone back. That I'm hurting people like I hurt inside...I just don't wanna feel alone anymore. I don't trust myself or my thoughts alone anymore. I'm just broken....
I was doing this behind my parents bad, vaping and getting touched by a boy I used to like. I would do things behind their back and didn’t care. Until I lost them both. And it’s harder now to get them back
i feel so lonely, i don't have emotions, no happy, i feel empty, no one cares, and...finally there is one noticed... but i still alone
I'm a virgin, but I fantasize about having sex everyday...
I just have lost hope that it's gonna happen to me someday... I'm not exactly "sexy" material...
I have autism. I am alone every day. God does not love me. I try to glow for others. But I’m so sick.
It's made me angry, but it's made me afraid, because I loved you, I love you, and now I'm scared of the people I don't know because I don't know them, and the people I love because I want to be close but if I get close to them then they can get close to me, and no, no, no, don't come close to me, don't touch me, go far, far away, I don't want to see you, but if I can't see you then I can't see you coming, and why can't you understand that there's a difference between trust and forgive because I forgive you and love you but because of you I can never trust you or anyone ever again and I still check under my bed and out my window, and check that I've locked my bedroom door more times than the front door, and I want to get out of here because here's where it happened, but out is where you are and I don't want to go where you are and I'm so lonely, lonely, lonely but I'm scared because I love you.
I've been really bad for a while, I've tried reaching out for help but nothing is happening, I'm still bad, I think I'm just giving up, I dont want to but I don't think I can stop it anymore.
I´m really worried about her the addictions gotten really bad and she dumped me because i wouldnt let her call the dealer for more rocks and pills so now the last person i had left just got taken away from me by drugs.
I love to masturbate at night, under my bed cover. I can't do it alone, but I becomes horny at night so I finger myself while reading erotica. By brother sleeps besides me. So I have to do it then as I becomes very horny but can never cum.
My Thanksgiving? Ate some rice alone.
Although our time was brief, I know that I really liked you and I still wish that it could have worked out between us.
What hurts the most is not anything that you did but all that didn't happen.
I believed I would never find love in this life and that this was enough.
Meeting you has taught me that I want to love.
It was so easy to like you and easy to imagine and desire more.
However, in our time together it was inescapably evident to me that I am not the person you would love. Not now, not as I am now.
Would there have been a chance for us if this was another time in our lives?
I wish I could have someone special...I don't girl or boy ... I hate being single.its been awhile since I date someone :'(
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