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I am in my 40s divorced 3 kids. I just started shooting meth. when I shoot meth I Immediately turn into a sexual deviant. I had the same problem when doing coke, I swallow and love it when high
My parents went to church and I stayed home. I told them I did not feel good, when I really want was to masturbate. I want a small vibrator I can hide, but not sure how to get one. I just finished my best orgasm and my parents will be home any minute. I just want to thank you for all the stories. I have been reading all morning and masturbating. My vagxxa will be sore. But when I do this, it's a good sore. I want sex with someone and not just me. Keep giving ideas. I even thought of a girl today; not sure about that, but when you get so horny.
I want to kill myself. I always have. I don't know why I feel this way maybe because my life is such shit or has gone to shit. I'm going to be a nurse but I haven't finished college yet and it feels like ill never get there. I have a beautiful daughter if it weren't for her and my belief in God I would've killed myself a long time ago. I've tried before but never got close enough. My fiance doesn't know how I feel he hardly talks to me on a daily basis. And I'm only 22(female) I have alot to look forward to. I feel so alone. I was molested by my sister at age of 5 and than when I was 16 my boyfriend of three years abused me physically and verbally. I just don't want to live anymore there is no love in this world.
I like to be alone. Or don't I? Do I actually despise it? Do I crave more human interaction and just deny myself of that fact? I think of myself as quite the lone wolf. And I thought I'm fine with that.. Realisation hits now.. It's hitting me hard. Slapping the fact in my face that I've never been able to keep the people in my life that I wanted to keep in it. I hide the fact that I'm quite toxic, or can be quite toxic, behind telling myself and others that I'm an ideal lone wolf.. And that I'm okay with it. But am I? I don't know that for a fact. I guess I'm not. I like to think of myself as an introverted empath. Maybe I'm an extroverted, choleric aashole in reality..
I feel lost. A year ago I was in the hospital from dka and I was in a coma for almost two weeks. My previous ex saved me from dying but also left me because of me being sick. I've always been depressed and I've always been okay with the idea of dying deep down inside. I try to push it off and try to bury myself in other people's problems so I can help them and I even help others out of depression but I can't help myself. I'm with someone very special to me but I still feel like I'm just not suppose to exist. I can't fight the feeling that I'm holding everyone back and I'm just getting in the way and that my condition is just making people feel sorry for me. I have a problem with accepting that people love me because I just can't love myself. I can't shake the feeling of needing to be gone. I can't shake feeling like no one should have saved me when I almost died. Like they should have been late and that I should have died. I just want everyone to be happy because I just can't be. I'm tearing people apart and pushing people away because I feel like I'm hurting people and I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. Why do I feel so alone when I have someone who cherishes me more then anything in the world. I don't understand why I'm like this. I can't understand why I wanna die so much but I do and I have no one I can say this to because if I do they will just call me crazy but am I so crazy to want everyone to be happy and not feel like I do? I want people to feel free to do what they want without worrying about sick me at home. I don't want to be a burden anymore even when they tell I'm not o still feel it. I know it inside that I'm just holding everyone back. That I'm hurting people like I hurt inside...I just don't wanna feel alone anymore. I don't trust myself or my thoughts alone anymore. I'm just broken....
I just wanna be in a happy loving relationship when I'm alone I feel empty and pointless when ever I meet someone I Bury myself in them and my whole life basically revolves around them, then after a month I get bored self destructive and the relationship ends (on my end) I'm worried that the relationships that ended when I was still, I guess in love with the other person where my only chances at true love and I fucked them up, I can't be alone I can't stand it I feel trapped just I need someone to love me cuddle me and force themselves on me when I feel bored and never leave me when I love them I just wanna be happy
I have to get this off my chest... I am female and 35 years old and I am lonely. All my friends are in a relationship, have kids and a family to take care of and I sit here all alone with no one to talk to. I am the only single in my whole group of friends and it makes me sick. I would like to go out on the weekend, meet friends and socialize but no one has time for me and I only get excuse after excuse after excuse. I went out and met friends like 2 times the last 5 months!
It got really bad I decided to sign up on Tinder and other dating sites. I was feeling like shit a couple of weeks ago and tried to talk to my best friends. And what happened? No one answered my texts or calls until after the weekend.
I met someone on Tinder and seriously thought about meeting up with him even though I knew that he would be bad for me. But rather this than sitting home alone and suffering.
I have a good job, do not look that bad and I am actually fun to be around. And still.
And fuck my friends, those are no true friends to me anymore!!!
Thank you for letting me share this.
I hate God. He let me endure horrors. Yet I was good. I served others. I saved lives. But no matter what I did He just took it all away. So I’m done with Him. I’m kinder than He is. He does not deserve me as His son. He is not worthy of me. I don’t want Him anymore.
I accept that I am alone. Go love yourself God. You never loved me.
I don't know what to do anymore..... Life is so confusing for a man who has nothing in this world and is only getting dimmer and dimmer instead of better like in those fucking tales you see on movies or happy ending books. My mom is a pain who can't even understand how mentally fucked I am dealing with stress she has entailed onto me about how she cant get a job and is relying on me and my sister to take it all in control. This life is no different compared to her as she had to struggle doing the same thing with her mom before that, however this is of new age and of new thinking. It as well concluded to me that I have depression that has a rise over the years due to this family finance as well distress from just an 18 year old still trying to find himself. I found that suicidal thought have became more creative as I become sad where its me blowing my brains out in front of everyone and saying goodbye to jumping off the state bridge and sending off a worldwide video describing to help those in needs such as I am and in hope that they can learn from my mistakes and no not follow in these barbaric and sorrowful steps of a "human". I've been called worse then human such as "idiot" "stupid" "dumbass" to my so called friend..... and even to family members. Another part of me that wants to come out is how my dead beat excuse of a human dad just essentially is homeless and somewhere out doing drugs and such still living to his glory and essentially created this whole black whole of mess.
In this end there is also an answer that I still hope that anyone who stumbles upon this website may enlighten and please tae into recognition...... "YOU ARE NOT ALONE".... It's hard and horrible but all I can say and to keep tings short is that you are not alone and understand that we, me you, whatever it may be can get through this. From writing this out it helped me alleviate some pain physically and mentally and started me back to the engine that could. So please anyone who has eyes and ears, don't be afraid to talk to someone or write out your expressions cause trust me you are in most definitely not alone. Hope this can help someone like me or anyone in trouble. Thank you.
I have a tendency to push away people. I lost all emotions, my heart turned cold, I lost interest in a lot of things. Sometimes i feel alone. I've been trying to figure out why. I Just can't find the answer.
I see no way back. I have never fully recovered from nearly dying. Or did Covid do this. I just can’t focus enough to function.
I tried to change. To fix what was broken. I just can’t.
I try to interact with the world and people. I just can’t.
The stress is too much.
How do you get better when your body won’t let you?
I tried to talk to someone. It was useless. I made them mad without meaning too.
I wish I could have someone special...I don't girl or boy ... I hate being single.its been awhile since I date someone :'(
A few months ago I got my first vibrator and with it I have learned to make my clit swell and throb. I try to keep it going longer and longer before loosing it. I recommend everybody try it. Shaking and needing to scream when you must remain silent is a challange. When I'm the only one at home, I let it all out.
#recommend #vibrator #masturbate #s
I survived for 3 years alone. But now I’m breaking. Its hard to be alone with no one to talk to. No one to touch me. Now i have no TV. It’s so depressing to be alone.
I went out and sat on the park bench to think. It was early in the morning and this jogger ran by and I watched him. I got up and decided to get a cup of coffee so I went to this small breakfast place and ordered breakfast. I went home and felt bad for eating so much, got into the shower and spent some time washing my penis. It felt good. I thought about the jogger. I dried off and decided to masturbate. I got the lube out, my butt plug, inserted it in. Got the camera out, set it up, got the mirror set up and jerked off. It felt good. I looked out the window and saw these kids at the bus stop. I wondered if any of them were masturbating yet. I'd be glad to teach them.
I got dressed, as much as needed, set up for work. The day went by slowly, issues came up and I handled them. At noon I had some soup, no sense in eating too much. After work I decided to go out and see if I could be picked up. I went to the usual place where men come looking for men like me. I got in the car with a man and he said he wanted it hard, ok with me. We went to this motel where he had a room rented. He was rough, men like him are always rough. He dropped me off back where he picked me up, I walked home and masturbated again and now I need to get some sleep.
I'm a virgin, but I fantasize about having sex everyday...
I just have lost hope that it's gonna happen to me someday... I'm not exactly "sexy" material...
I´m really worried about her the addictions gotten really bad and she dumped me because i wouldnt let her call the dealer for more rocks and pills so now the last person i had left just got taken away from me by drugs.
#goddamnit #nobodyleft #alone #lonelyfuck #fuckass #shesgone
I confess that I lie to my girlfriend every day. I tell her that I love her but I do not.
Why I do this? Maybe because I'm scared to be alone again....
#lie #love #girlfriend #confession #secret #alone
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