Sadism Confessions

I'm a 33 year old man from Finland, living a more or less normal life.
I could describe myself with the following words: Intelligent, Adaptive, Cautious, Well-mannered, Introvert...
Sadist.

Of course, the last one is a quality that I wouldn't mention in a casual conversation. Not that I'm ashamed of it, but I feel that it's something that is almost universally deemed as an unambiguously bad thing... Most of the world's population would probably find it very difficult to discuss about that word without getting negative feelings - maybe even ones as strong as hatred and disgust.
And I don't blame them - after all, we are talking about a perversion that indicates that I enjoy when other people suffer... I might even enjoy to be the source of that suffering.
So I don't talk about it. I have brought it up only a couple of times during my whole life.

#sexual   #sadism   #confession  

Would love to control my desires and sinful desires so I can focus on work and newly married life. I'm working on it through sinful meditations. These thoughts are sins. Forgive me lord

#shame   #trauma   #ptsd   #childhood   #problems   #war   #fighting   #veteran   #fetish   #pain   #sadism   #masochism   #bondage   #spirit   #grand   #domination   #switch   #game   #discord   #chess   #cashapp   #cash   #love   #royalty   #friendship   #army   #values   #manners   #ideals   #fwb   #negative   #aweful   #suck   #happy   #yes  

It’s not a confess but I want some help. I’m a 19 year-old Middle Eastern girl who loves a 27 year-old Brazilian guy whom I met online in December 2018. He travels a lot and he sometimes talks about traveling to my country and meet me. I love him as I mentioned above but he never mentioned that he loves me or not he just told me twice that he “admires me” and told me once that he doesn’t feel the age gap between us, nothing more. The problem is that I understand that we are so different to be together, for example I follow a religion while he doesn’t and the cultural differences of course. What should I do with this love?

#sadism   #heartless   #stupidy   #love