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I am an avid self harmer. All in the name of sex (and a pinch of self hatred). I am addicted to blood I cut myself really nasty last night and the tub water looked like a cheap red wine. All I did for hours after was masturbate. The water even tasted like my blood
I shouldn't feel this way. I know that. I have no reason to. But I do. Whenever I'm with my 'friends' I feel like I'm not good enough. *Kylee is temperamental and hits me whenever I'm not good enough, like if I mock her, make a witty comment, or say or do anything the slightest bit offensive. *Sarah is just so frustrating. She doesn't know when is enough. *Tyler always- I don't even know what it is. He tries to get me angry, he just says things that get under my skin, and he never stops.
I'm going crazy. I can't even express what I'm feeling. My mind is a mess. But I'll tell you this: Every "I'm fine" or "Yeah, just tired" is a lie. Ever time I'm happy, I feel like I shouldn't be.
I hate that I have a wonderful life. I'm smart and athletic, and I always have things going on. I feel selfish for trying to die, even though I've tried before. But no one's noticed the cuts on my wrists. They're not deep, not lethal, but deep enough to scar, which is what I want. I want to live with proof that I'm stronger, because I've to hell and back enough times that I've started keeping count with cuts on my arm.
And I hate that I'm only 13.
Its been about 3 years since I admitted to my self that I was depressed. I have always been the one to do stupid things but after those things happen, feelings start to seep in the voices start to get to my head, you are a stupid girl, a brat not worth anything, why don't you just leave it would save them all this trouble. You wouldn't be I missed, you are worh nothing, all you cause is heart ache...ect. These tpes of things always ran threw my mind, and soon and still I believe it. All it seems I can do well is suck money from my parents and pain for my friends and family and the people around me. It seems like no matter what I do , it wont stop. I cut sometimes when I get it deep and I also beat myself over it. I feel like no mstter what even my mom hstes me and my dad to. Sometimes I think of running away, or just kill myself, or just ask my parents to put me up for
adoption. But I am to selfish to do that. I just want to be set free and live with god and the ones that I cant hurt anymore. That would make them happy....
That was me then but now its starting to change I now understand if I do those things I would hurt them even more, I am now starting to open up even more about my feeings but I still keep some of them hidden but it is getting better I found the light at the end of the tunnel and now I am following it and chasing it it will get etter, but I still got a ways to go. No matter what just look for that light no matter how dim it is and go grab it,. It will be worth it!
I adopted a little dog from a shelter. She had been abused she was timid and frightened when I brought her home. I was patient with her transition. She was stubborn when it can to housebreaking. Sometimes she had an accident, sometimes it made me really angry and I would yell at her, sometimes i would rub her nose in it, sometimes I would spank her. I would always apologize for being mean and she would trust me again. I had to put her to sleep after having her for 11 years. I apologized to her for the times I was mean to her. I remember the fond times with her and there are many, but they are always crowded out by those scared and helpless little eyes. I regret the anger. I cant stand myself. I need help.u
I am currently getting over my addiction to self harm. All up and down my legs are scars from me cutting myself. The relief it gave me and the endorphins it released were so nice, but I've promised my girlfriend I'd stop. Penguin, I love you!!
Anyone that’s posting on here, I love you and I hope everything works out. There’s always hope xx
I was diagnosed with depression 4 years ago , I was so confused but everything started to make sense. I was introduced to self harm and she became my bestfriend, i cut myself so much I have lots of scars they are very noticeable. I abused a lot of drugs for example meth , weed , & pills I also drank a lot of alcohol to escape the pain I feel everyday, I'm miserable so very miserable, my anxiety has gotten very bad that I stay in my room at all times . I hate going out and as sad it sounds I just prefer to be dead . Please save me
I'm a 17 year old male and I have about 2 friends. I don't really even talk to them much anymore. I'm quite shy, and can't really talk to girls either. I just don't want to interaction with people.
It's not that I don't want friends, it's I see the world a different way. Instead of seeing all the joys, I see real truth. The bad, evil, and whatnot. I see the class in people, their true nature. I am very distrusting of people. My oldest friend of 10 years I still can't fully trust. I am also not up with the ages of ge to generation. They listen to the new today's music, talk with in ways that aren't even English, do drugs, sex, and that sort of thing. I can't do that. I like to make complete sentences using intelegent wording, I listen to music from 2008 prior. I don't know. I just can't stand it.
From all that I witness of my generation, I have started to hate people. I hate the non intelegent people who listen to today's music, can't make a proper sentence, don't even use words in the English dictionary and make up ones. It's not that I think of myself as superior to them, I just think that my generation starts the downfall of American society.
I think from this, it has taken a toll on me. I am severely depressed, I am highly paranoid, some Early signs of schizophrenia, multiple personalities, the list goes on. My generation and being around them upsets me. What happened to our society? Where is it going? How long will it take? I can't do this anymore. I'm not going to commit suicide, in my eyes suicide is for the weak and if you fail suicide your a failure of a human and any living organism, my anger is building up. Nobody knows about it. I hide my emotions and it builds up. One of these days I'm going to burst. Nobody knows how dangerous I can be. It's not going to be good.
This kills me, it really does. Someone has to do it though, and it's going to be me.
i cut off a person because they didn’t make me happy. i don’t know if it was the right thing, i have a hard time putting myself first. i feel sorry for being so harsh.
I have kept my anorexia as a dark secret for over 10 years from my family. I've been in a binging and purging cycle for the past couple of days and I got out the peanut butter and my mum told me off telling me I didn't need it because I ate too much already. Just a couple of weeks ago they were threatening to send me to a doctor because I was 'getting too thin'. From her comments I'm back in full blown restriction and I'm ready to prove her wrong once and for all.
I’m basically an emotional crutch for my friend, pretty much the only one she has, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to kill myself soon. I just don’t know what to do, I don’t want to leave her alone and stranded with nobody to talk to anymore, but I don’t think my mind is going to let me stay here much longer. And the worst part is I’m doing everything right. I’ve been taking my meds, reaching out to people when I need them, ive been taking notice when I’m having irrational thoughts and putting a stop to them, I’ve been excersicing, boy howdy have I. Been excersicing, but I still hear screaming that isn’t there, I still feel like my room is closing in on me, I still feel like my mind is deteriorating...what am I doing wrong?
I met a girl on the bus
We started talking and it gone well
I asked her number and she said we only friend
After 10 minute of ignoring her she started to kiss me
I was attracted to her
Then my sister met her and told me that the girl is ugly af
Then i started to notice that she was realy bad looking but i didn't noticed that at first
She wanted sex but i refused
To summer up
I get nervous around girls and i don't think i have a chance with cute girls
Any advices (preferably from females)
Thank uuu
So that
I don't know how to put this exactly, but I'm addicted to cutting my body and then showing it to people who care for me secretly. Like I would make the cuts and then when they heal over a bit I would go do a dramatic thing but I've stopped since then. I really want to do it again but I promised everyone that I would stop cutting. I used to cut so bad that I would bleed for not of the night and one day they got infected but I fixed that up without anyone knowing. I just I have this urge all the damn time to cut and I don't know what to do anymore considering the fact that I know it's wrong but it feels so right. I've been trying to find a place where no one could know about the cuts but every time I try to think about it I cringe cuz I know the pain I had to go through and the fact that I was also emotionally unstable and still am to this day. I just I fucked everything up and I don't know how to fix it anymore. The person I love is gone out of my life and I just want to die
#love #drama #confession
It's me again, The guy who works at Giant Eagle. I might as well confess that this very selfish but, when you hardly make any money working at Giant Eagle, all you want is more money. Usually whenever a customer has too many groceries, I will get another cart and then put their groceries in both carts. After that, I will help the customer out to their vehicle. This is where the selfishness comes in. After I help a customer to their vehicle and, depending on the customer, put their items in the vehicle or the customer will do it themself. Either way, every time I help a customer out to their vehicle, I'm always hoping they will give me a big tip of $50 or more. If a customer doesn't give me a tip, I walk away feeling cheated. If a customer does give me a tip but it's only a few dollars, again I feel cheated and wish that they would give me more money.
When I was 13 I would cut myself. Mostly, because I got bullied everyday for being gay. I tried killing myself 6 times. I would cut more then 7 times a day. It went on for about 6 months. Then I went to a treatment centre. I tried wearing shirts with short sleeves, but sometimes I can get really insecure about the scars on my arms. But I have fully recovered from self-harm. I survived. I got through it. I know how hard life can be. But just hold on for a little longer. It could change your life. Stay strong.
—Danny
I met a person who I really connect with and our relationship is growing by the day; I’m happier than ever before. But I still feel like I don’t deserve this happiness and all I feel is that I want to push them away, protect them from being stuck with me for the rest of their life.
I am selfish. Lust I am bad man I am terrible sinner I ruined
I deserve burn in hell forever.
May God have mercy on my wicked soul.
I told them to stop, but I couldn't stop myself from self-harm.
It hurts, but it makes me feel better, and I can’t stop
I’m so sorry...
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