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There are times that I choose to be blind and not accept the truth. I fell in love with someone and his name is Johnathan. I had loved him very much to be honest, I cannot explain how much too. But suddenly, I have felt really tired and kept waiting for him to love me like he used to. I feel sorry for myself because I know that I did not deserve to be hurt like that. I feel sorry because I told myself that I am not good enough. I feel sorry because I feel like I am forcing him to love me again even if he does not want to be in a relationship again with me.
I also got really tired of crying so much for him and I think he is the guy that gave me the most painful feeling I have felt in my life. The pain is still here, deep inside me. I feel a lot of pain. That is why I have changed too, I don't chat him "how are you" or talk about many things anymore and maybe it is also because he doesn't do it anymore to me. I also realized that I have to wake up from a dream. I got lost in a daydream where we will be together until we grow old, be successful together and have kids. I feel so ridiculous too in believing or waiting for a knight in shining armor to save me or make me happy but I now know that it does not exist.
I need to be very independent in my life and follow God and not wait on someone to be my knight and shining armor. I don't want to say that Johnathan is a bad guy even if he hurt me a lot. I want to treat him like a lesson, the pain that he gave me, it made me more mature and more dependent to God. Johnathan, thank you very much.
i guess im going to write this in the most unknown topic saying theres only 2 pages lolz anyways hey my name is jake and maybe ill find this sometime in the future or maybe i wont because ill be dead or happy but im hoping ill be happy but selfishness man do i have a lot of that i mean if you consider the fact that i am mentally and emotionally and psyically
So my girlfriend and I had a long fight last night... I would go into details but I don't have the energy to type... Right now though... She's been talking too much about hurting herself... She's had a history and I've made he promise not to do that so she hasn't yet... But she keeps talking about it... I wanna hurt myself and show her how much it'll hurt me of she hurts herself... But if I do that I'll be hurting her myself... What do I do
I have to admit, I have been starving myself for the past 3 weeks. I only eat 2 apples a day. I lost 6 kg by doing so.
This is not anything sexual or... ahem... "sinful" but if I try to tell anyone in my family or any of my friends they'd ridicule me.
I want to die, at the minimum, now, at the maximum, at the age of 64, because my family always fight and make me realize that this shit-hole of an earth is eternally doomed to extinction. What's even worse is that I have Klein Levins Syndrome that pretty much means I will never be happy.
i cut off a person because they didn’t make me happy. i don’t know if it was the right thing, i have a hard time putting myself first. i feel sorry for being so harsh.
When I was 9, I wanted big breasts because I wanted to self-lactate in case of emergency. Now I'm 15, and I have D cups, and I now think it doesn't work that way.
I lie to my family, tell them I don't have shit to self-harm with, I go through their things for my addiction. The urges are too strong. I think i'm going to die soon by running into the highway.
There's a boy in my secondary school who is absolutely gorgeous, with green eyes and brown hair. I've been obsessed with him for over a year. I feel embarrassed to tell anyone, even my two best friends, because I'm a black female with short hair and a wide nose, and I'm quite chubby, so why would a boy like him go for a girl like me? Even worse, there is chemistry between him and my curvy Asian friend, who has long silky black hair and is gorgeous. No matter how much I try to beautify myself, I still look like a big ugly lump.
I started sleeping with a guy I’ve always wanted to fuck last year even though he had/has a girlfriend.
I’ve always thought he was hot but have never been single when he’s been around (meaning he was in jail for the short time I was free between relationships since I met him about 8-9 years ago).
It was supposed to be one “encounter” … We had about 5 days while she was away and that was supposed to be it, however every time she’s been away since then he’s contacted me, the last couple of times even coming to me at my house (we lived just over an hour apart and I’d always gone to him). I’ve not once tried to reach out or been the one to instigate further hookups, it was always him, but not once was I going to turn him down. The connection is AMAZING, honestly I’ve had some of THE BEST sex of my life with this guy.
The weird thing is, even though I know his partner I just don’t feel guilty, I don’t give a fuck, I would and probably will continue to fuck this boy every time she is out of town.
#ifuckedyourboyfriend #illdoitagain #mostselfishthingihaveeverdone #noguilt
I used to cut myself to escape everything and feel nothing. I stopped cutting now. But I can't stop harming. I like it and it helps. I don't know. Maybe I am as crazy as they say.
I have been battling with pornography ..i am a virgin but i get horny a lot of times.
#i #am #a #virgin #but #get #horny #lot #of #have #been #battling #with #pornography #and #its #getting #the #best #ofmyself
i have been clean from self harm for two and a half years. i am going to break that clean streak today.
I just wanna be in a happy loving relationship when I'm alone I feel empty and pointless when ever I meet someone I Bury myself in them and my whole life basically revolves around them, then after a month I get bored self destructive and the relationship ends (on my end) I'm worried that the relationships that ended when I was still, I guess in love with the other person where my only chances at true love and I fucked them up, I can't be alone I can't stand it I feel trapped just I need someone to love me cuddle me and force themselves on me when I feel bored and never leave me when I love them I just wanna be happy
I don't think I am good enough for anyone. I put my guard up in intimate relationships and find it easier to talk to friends. The only way to feel value is when I can help them through a tough time. It makes me feel useful and that I can have a purpose in life.
I met a person who I really connect with and our relationship is growing by the day; I’m happier than ever before. But I still feel like I don’t deserve this happiness and all I feel is that I want to push them away, protect them from being stuck with me for the rest of their life.
I met a girl on the bus
We started talking and it gone well
I asked her number and she said we only friend
After 10 minute of ignoring her she started to kiss me
I was attracted to her
Then my sister met her and told me that the girl is ugly af
Then i started to notice that she was realy bad looking but i didn't noticed that at first
She wanted sex but i refused
To summer up
I get nervous around girls and i don't think i have a chance with cute girls
Any advices (preferably from females)
Thank uuu
So that
I am stuck in a sexless marriage and hate myself for it. I have had opportunity to cheat and offers from other women but turned them down because I'm in love with my wife. I contemplate divorce everyday but I stay for my kids. I hate myself for not having the strength to walk away.
#divorce #marriage #self #hate #resentment
I am selfish. Lust I am bad man I am terrible sinner I ruined
I deserve burn in hell forever.
May God have mercy on my wicked soul.
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