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I shouldn't feel this way. I know that. I have no reason to. But I do. Whenever I'm with my 'friends' I feel like I'm not good enough. *Kylee is temperamental and hits me whenever I'm not good enough, like if I mock her, make a witty comment, or say or do anything the slightest bit offensive. *Sarah is just so frustrating. She doesn't know when is enough. *Tyler always- I don't even know what it is. He tries to get me angry, he just says things that get under my skin, and he never stops.
I'm going crazy. I can't even express what I'm feeling. My mind is a mess. But I'll tell you this: Every "I'm fine" or "Yeah, just tired" is a lie. Ever time I'm happy, I feel like I shouldn't be.
I hate that I have a wonderful life. I'm smart and athletic, and I always have things going on. I feel selfish for trying to die, even though I've tried before. But no one's noticed the cuts on my wrists. They're not deep, not lethal, but deep enough to scar, which is what I want. I want to live with proof that I'm stronger, because I've to hell and back enough times that I've started keeping count with cuts on my arm.
And I hate that I'm only 13.
I have a crush on Megan Whessels a.k.a The Fanfic Critic on youtube.
I wanna cum on her fat face cause she has a double chin and that was in 2014, I do hope she's gotten even fatter since.
Seriously I would love to smell her armpits after a long hot day.
#bad #sex #megan #wessels #ugly #fat #youtube #fanficiton #i #hate #myself #for #thinking #this
I have a bad tendency to get violent when I'm angry and I'm scared of my self I forget who I am and what I'm doing and I blank out and don't remember anything unless I'm told what I have done and tbh it scares me not knowing what I do when I lose it I feel like I should be in a mental asylum I hate myself for getting violent
Im 18 and i hate myself, i always have, i was born the youngest sibling and i was always the most annoying brat in the world, I couldn’t stop myself i had no self control from irritating everyone around me, it drove my mother to the point of beating me when i was 7, recently i was diagnosed by a doctor for having manic bipolar disorder and depression, i find i can never enjoy myself in social situations, i have a girlfriend but i dont want her to be with me anymore, I’m not the person i used to be.. i never was. I just want to finish, life is just day after day of agony and pain.
I cant make sense anymore. My brain is fucked!!
I was in a long distance relationship with a girl on and off for the past 6 years or so. We sent nudes and all that shit, However she decided she was going to text my best friend (rip) and ask him if he wanted to see what i sent her. She was clearly obsessed with betraying me and lying to me constantly, so i had to spend my days stalking her online, she used to flirt with guys on stickam (rip stickam) behind my back and get high on cam all while telling me "i dont smoke anymore".
So one day i took a picture of my computer screen and what she was doing and sent it to her. She promised to straighten her shit out, long story short she didn't. after her constant betrayals i spammed her entire dox and nudes all over the internet and encouraged people to call the number. i left a bot on that repeated the message every 3 minutes. i was very hurt, and still am, she kept apologizing and wanting me back so of course i said yeah im sorry too. but a few months later i got sick of her shit AGAIN, so i blocked her number, her reaction was moving to kansas to turn into a drunk, while telling me all kinds of great lies, she got herself pregnant (for the second time, she had an abortion the first time). eventually on her birthday she called me crying like a bitch because nobody cared about her birthday and it was her first taste of the real world.
So for the next 2 years i tried to make things work with her even though she had somebody elses kid now. she didnt understand nor care how much it affected me. we had alot of arguments and instead of calling her a slut or a whore or whatever like i normally would i just started dishing out the truth on her and told her "you arent going to find somebody who wants a 22-23 year old single mother whos a pathological liar, that has fucked an excessive amount of people, is a complete bitch, has a history of drug and alcohol abuse, nobody is going to want you, and after all of that i am still talking to you." apparently she couldnt handle that.
she wanted to be FWB and that lasted all of 5 days. a few months ago she told me "its not going to work between us" so i replied "because im not good enough?" she says "No thats not it" "i want to live in a big house and have nice things and have more kids". I damn near died i just said "so basically im not good enough, sick contradictory statement". I told her i refuse to be friends with her under those circumstances if im going to be friendzoned and never given a legitimate chance at making a life with her.
I keep having dreams about her, i dont know what my problem is because i cant stop loving her, i wish i could, and i wish i could get over what she has done to me, i wish i could go more than 4 months without trying to talk to her. Hopefully this outlet will help me move on and i will find somebody who is actually worthy of my affection.
yes i know i didnt use proper punctuation and i dont care.
I met a girl on the bus
We started talking and it gone well
I asked her number and she said we only friend
After 10 minute of ignoring her she started to kiss me
I was attracted to her
Then my sister met her and told me that the girl is ugly af
Then i started to notice that she was realy bad looking but i didn't noticed that at first
She wanted sex but i refused
To summer up
I get nervous around girls and i don't think i have a chance with cute girls
Any advices (preferably from females)
Thank uuu
So that
Self fellatio is possible for many men and if you can get there you can eliminate the drama of a woman. There are two paths to success. A big dick is the best way to success. Many porn stars can just bend over from the waist and start sucking.
Unfortunately, not me. If you get naked on a firm bed or a soft floor you can roll backwards placing most of your weight on your upper back and letting your legs dangle over your head. There are self fellatio websites showing the technique if you are having trouble visualing. I could do this reasonably well in my twenties but the older I got the less this was an option. Sucking until you cum is the plan and I had no trouble cumming in my own mouth. I had already tried similar positioning and jerking off onto my face or if I was accurate into my mouth. Yes I am a perv and not embarrassed to be one. Cum isn't disgusting--remember you tried to talk your girlfriend into swallowing didn't you.
I admit to the occasional swapping of brojobs with friends. Never without reciprocation mind you. I'm not a fag or some man's bitch. I've got standards. And I did get married eventually. Someone has to cook and clean. And women are good for sex when you can talk them into it.
I am always sad and want nothing to do with my school friends or friends that I have made through cheer. I used to be the person who was always doing something and never wanted to be home. I was constantly surrounded by people and friends. Ever since I started high school, that has all changed. I lost all of my close friends and no I find myself playing with my pets and doing nothing but going to practice. Its sad because I want to be back to my super social life and have all my friends back but everyone seems to hate me. I have thought about killing myself due to the amount of mean comments and things being said about my by people I thought were my friends. I am most certainly depressed but I don't want to talk to my parents about it because they are very abusive.
Ok so this one is going to be a complicated one. I broke up with my ex boyfriend last summer, but we still talk to each other and text a lot.
He also found out that his dad has cancer. He is very very close to his family so this is a tough one.
His dad is deteriorating and the doctors say he only has a couple of weeks left.
I met my ex quite often the last time, we met up and talked and watched TV. But only just as friends. I want to be there for him when his dad passes away. I really like his dad, so it's gonna be hard.
We agreed to be friends, but I think that he waits for an opportunity to make a move or something..
I really like spending time with him and I of course still love him, but I am not sure if this is the right time. Or if there is a right time at all.
I broke up with him last year because of long distance and little time for each other and stuff like that. And one part of me wants to get back together with him. But I guess I could have those feelings because I pity him or something? I don't know..
Well, I confess that I am selfish and spend time with my ex because I do not want to be alone. And because I pity him because of his father.
My mom is quite mean to me and my stepdad which has pushed us together. We watch out for one another and are very close. When the bitch is not at home, we enjoy a shower and washing one another. Flirting, soft and brief kissing but no tongue, and some light touching just to tease. I often get aroused and extremely horny, but we never do hardcore including open masturbation. We respect each other as best friends and adults practicing self-control. We resist all temptations that could lead to problems. Always playing it safe to make sure moms not around and keep in mind when she might pop in. She's dumb but should she ever deem something inappropriate, we have rehearsed all excuses. 18 months from now I will get on birth control and stop sneaking. And my fantasy will transpire with my sexy love driving me off to college. The second we leave I start teasing so he is ready, anxious and wanting. Once there and the door closes, I seduce him until he devours me, taking my virginity and giving me my best orgasm ever. I'm just not sure I can wait that long.
#stepdad #sex #lust #bff #touch #nude #shower #flirt #kiss #fantasy #resist #hardcore #virgin #temptations #devour #college #horny #masturbation #inappropiate #sexy #aroused #respect #sneaking #orgasm
I’m a minor and I’m transgender (FtM). I’ve been “out” to my family for a year, and to friends for about three years. I’m struggling so much, my mom doesn’t support me and says shes “doing it cause she loves me.” I hate to even think about it but a lot of the time I find myself thinking of suicide, or “DIY top surgery” (pretty much stabbing myself). The thoughts haunt me at night, I can’t sleep because I can’t stop the intrusive thoughts. I’m typing this at 2:44 am. As cheesy as it sounds I always knew I wasn’t a girl, and the first time I tried to kill my self I was 12. Then again at 13. And again at 15 etc. I can’t take hormones or do anything to further my transition, the only thing I’ve been able to do is cut my hair. Clothes wise, the only masculine clothes I have are my dead dad’s, and my room still looks the same as when I was 9 years old and sitting in here makes me just want to end it because I’ll never be in the right body.
Thanks for listening I guess? Sorry for how depressing this is.
#transgender #trans #ftm #transftm #minor #suicide #depression #selfharm
i guess im going to write this in the most unknown topic saying theres only 2 pages lolz anyways hey my name is jake and maybe ill find this sometime in the future or maybe i wont because ill be dead or happy but im hoping ill be happy but selfishness man do i have a lot of that i mean if you consider the fact that i am mentally and emotionally and psyically
i cheated on my emotionally abusive partner when we were together before. and although he hurt me a lot and scarred me, i shouldn’t have done that. i should have just left, but i was so attached, that finding someone else was what i believed would help me leave him. still, im not proud of what i did at all. we would often break up on and off, and during those off times i would find someone else. then get back to him, and acted like nothing happened. but even once when we were still technically together, i was speaking to guys. in my heart at that point, i already knew we weren’t going to be together for long, but instead of breaking up to see other guys i did it behind his back. i ended up being just as toxic as him. the worst thing is that i didn’t feel that bad in the moment, it felt like i was allowed to, because of the shit he did to me. in my heart i felt like i was already single, because he never truly understood me. but still, i broke one of my values and i never thought i would have. i hope that doesn’t make me a cheater forever. i know in my heart that i wouldn’t do that to someone who truly treasured me. either way, i am sorry. please forgive me.
#lie #cheated #regret #selfishness #hypocrisy
I told them to stop, but I couldn't stop myself from self-harm.
It hurts, but it makes me feel better, and I can’t stop
I’m so sorry...
I have an eating disorder, but I haven't told anyone because no one will understand what I’m going through. I’m addicted to eating and I don’t need know how to stop it.
#food #addiction #health #secrets #hatemyself
Its been about 3 years since I admitted to my self that I was depressed. I have always been the one to do stupid things but after those things happen, feelings start to seep in the voices start to get to my head, you are a stupid girl, a brat not worth anything, why don't you just leave it would save them all this trouble. You wouldn't be I missed, you are worh nothing, all you cause is heart ache...ect. These tpes of things always ran threw my mind, and soon and still I believe it. All it seems I can do well is suck money from my parents and pain for my friends and family and the people around me. It seems like no matter what I do , it wont stop. I cut sometimes when I get it deep and I also beat myself over it. I feel like no mstter what even my mom hstes me and my dad to. Sometimes I think of running away, or just kill myself, or just ask my parents to put me up for
adoption. But I am to selfish to do that. I just want to be set free and live with god and the ones that I cant hurt anymore. That would make them happy....
That was me then but now its starting to change I now understand if I do those things I would hurt them even more, I am now starting to open up even more about my feeings but I still keep some of them hidden but it is getting better I found the light at the end of the tunnel and now I am following it and chasing it it will get etter, but I still got a ways to go. No matter what just look for that light no matter how dim it is and go grab it,. It will be worth it!
There's a boy in my secondary school who is absolutely gorgeous, with green eyes and brown hair. I've been obsessed with him for over a year. I feel embarrassed to tell anyone, even my two best friends, because I'm a black female with short hair and a wide nose, and I'm quite chubby, so why would a boy like him go for a girl like me? Even worse, there is chemistry between him and my curvy Asian friend, who has long silky black hair and is gorgeous. No matter how much I try to beautify myself, I still look like a big ugly lump.
what I learnt from seeing a spiritual healer is that I always felt bad for dreams I had and any sexual thoughts or activities I did as a kid. Anyway, one nightmare stuck in my head as a teen (well a few did really) some of my dreams were very gruesome and ugly violent or very picture slide where it flashed past and the picture made the mood over a word. A lot of metaphors and word punts as well.
I asked someone about the dreams of princess diana that I would have at different times and one really captured her control over the world and I think that is what ultimately led to her demise as a human and her life so young to die. Because she was a dormant sexual image and a powerful feminine and a sign of virginal and power and elitism most people never obtain as well as a paradox of insecurities and weaknesses.
For me as a teen girl I felt I loved her as much as when I was a child but as a teen began to wonder why I loved her. Should she deserve that love as I didn't know her and she appeared to me to be a woman of selfish ends being totally spoilt for choice and I was completely the opposite. I didn't hate her but I grew to dislike women like her more and more as I found them a threat to me being able to be sexually valuable and relevant for work and love and income. It all felt so unfair. I seen so many black people making cultural improvements and I was not personally, I only ever benefited as a side step from some one else in the family and I was never allowed to be a provider or achiever or image to look up to. I was the loser teen to loser adult with no talents and no qualities to shape as I got more mature it would appear in the eyes of others but not in myself, I didn't see myself as others saw me. I guess I never will one way or another. I just wish they could live the life "my life was the complete message of the song by whitney whatever who died, "didn't we almost have it all" but we never did and we were fooling ourselves to think we would !!! I wish others knew this feeling of half getting their to be slammed down and pushed to unemployment and no love and questing why is life so shitty and gee god has to be the biggest retard ever !!! cuz he has no idea of what the heck he is doing and it all makes no sense and there is no happiness to be had in life.
how about you find out how it feels to be invited by the special girl and your prettier but everyone still likes all the others but you. your the one helping others weddings and parties and doing all the nice things and no one thinks of you. you are all alone and left alone when you have given too much of yourself and no one is worrying about your feelings tonight or caring for you at all because you didn't add enough detail to the picture or story. you didn't add some disclaimer or you didn't say what the others wanted to hear.
I still think diana died because the queen got sick of playing second fiddle to diana and she was jealous of her being so loved. The queen has killed a lot of nice women in her time. And what she didn't kill the male royals did out of as much jealous and needing the power.
My spiritual healer told me that my dream was an expression of diana's over dominance on all our minds and the world and that is what actually killed her needing to be in ever magazine and too loved for her own good. It showed her dark side she didn't want others to see and maybe there were fragments of me in whatever I saw in her reflecting at me as well of who I idolised and who I wanted to be like as a teen and adult and needing someone to look up to as the hero and princess bride like barbie image. She told me this was all normal and our dreams are often metaphoric and not always factual or literal. and I didn't kill her or harm her and I had nothing to feel bad about at all.
I'm 16 and used to self harm on my wrist until my friend saw the cuts on my wrist and told a teacher who then told my mum I blamed it on my dog and they all believed it so I switched places to my stomach, top of my legs and top of my arms. I tried to overdose on about two boxes of painkillers and some other tablets I fell asleep and when I woke up I was in loads of pain being sick. I don't know what to do but I don't want to talk to my family. I blame myself for my aunties death
I have to admit, I have been starving myself for the past 3 weeks. I only eat 2 apples a day. I lost 6 kg by doing so.
This is not anything sexual or... ahem... "sinful" but if I try to tell anyone in my family or any of my friends they'd ridicule me.
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