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I always have the desire to do something stupid to make myself look brave. I don't know how that started, but I soon noticed that I got the attention I need by doing something reckless and stupid. Last week, I jumped in front of a moving car to save a small frog and I was almost hit. The driver of the car couldn't believe how stupid I acted because I didn't want to apologize for it. Two months ago, I jumped into a lake near my hometown, even though I can't swim. I just need the adrenaline and I need the attention.It's like an addiction and I know, someday, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, I going to die because of it.
#audacity #bravery #stupid #die #confession #offmychest #swimming
I'm cheating/lying to/on my GF. No one except really close friends even know we're dating, but I wish we were still just best friends like we were in the past. She confessed her attraction and love for me over skype one day. At the time she was at an extreme low point in her life, and she put me on the spot. I could only think about what she'd do if I didn't accept her confession, she would kill herself. I knew it. I felt it. So I told her that I was feeling the same way, with intentions to eventually break up with her. Now I'm here. I'm not even really all that sure I'm bi. Do I like lesbian porn, yes. But who doesn't?! I still think dicks are awesome and I'd much rather ride some guys dick than finger another girls pussy. It's just not for me. On top of all of that, I was flirting behind her back. I'm a freshman in high school and she's an eighth grader in middle school. I feel so guilty. I know it was wrong, I even have a male date to homecoming. But I'm not gonna go cause it's just too wrong feeling for me. I can't keep this up! I know I have to break up with her eventually but she's so unstable. I could really ruin her for good. She loves me and I don't love her. I still see her as JUST my best friend. I'm an awful human being for leading both her and the guy on. I should just kill myself for doing this. I deserve to die.
I really like my ex. He was my first boyfriend and I can't stop thinking about how funny, cute, and nice he was to me. He broke up with me because of long distance (We live in the same city, and just go to different schools). It's been 3 months. He's had over 4 other girls. I still like him, but just want to be friends. Any advice.
#firstboyfriend #ex #missingex #crushing #likemyex #hopingtobefriends
I don't have a single friend on this planet. I have some online people I talk to but they really aren't friends. I thought they were but aren't. My husband only stays with me because I support him. My kids don't even like me. My dog got mad at me for getting my daughter a dog of her own and won't have anything to do with me. I'm the most lonely and miserable person on the planet. My grandmother was my best friend and she died two years ago. I haven't spoken to anyone at all for more than a few minutes since she died. I wonder almost daily if everyone wouldn't be better off without me. I honestly don't think anyone would even notice I was gone.
I'll admit it: I'm human and I get so envious of others and how much is going on in their lives and I hate myself for it. I hate that I even have these feelings in the first place because my life is my own and I have made the choices I have made that have led me to today. No one else made them for me and for the most part, my life really isn't that bad. I don't need to have the biggest and the best house, job, car, etc... I've got somewhere to live, a nice enough car, a cat, plenty of wine and a decent job. What more should I want for besides someone to share my life with and maybe some actual friends? I'm working on it!
In the end it just feels like it's not enough when my sister comes over and I get so angry at myself because normally I like my life and who I am and it's not her fault that she makes me feel jealous and stupid. I should be the bigger person and just let this go but she seems to be a like a storm: something that just comes along with all it's thunder and lightning and their's nothing you can do to halt it's approach. It's a cycle and by the time she leaves or I leave every time we get together, I almost feel like I'm in physical pain from the press of holding my emotions in check. I always end up balling like a pathetic idiot just to release some of the tension. Often I have trouble breathing. It's almost like a panic attack is induced or something and I just don't get it.
To give you some background, my sister is two years younger than me and 20 kilos lighter. I'd probably say I am the prettier of the two of us even if I am overweight although she has a nicer smile and definitely knows how to dress. We grew up in a small town and I was the only farm girl in my year group with the other 9 girls being town girls. It was just two different worlds. I grew up liking the outdoors and using my imagination but the townies liked sitting around and gossiping about boys and clothes, etc. My sister on the other hand, had four other girls her age who grew up on farms and they all became fast friends. I went through school going from friend to friend and as a result, my social skills are somewhat lacking. Don't worry, that's not the case so much these days but I just don't get people like she does and despite trying to be a laid back person, I just seem to be so sensitive. I can't handle it when people let me down or don't live up to my expectations. It also doesn't help that we have so many of the same interests. We worked for similar companies, we both like reading, writing, art, cooking and sewing. I feel like I can never be an individual and I am too embarrassed to show any of my artwork to my family who scorned the fact that I like(d) manga & anime when I was younger and still do. I am the black sheep of the family and if my own parents and siblings judge me for my tastes so much then other people outside the family certainly will. However she likes country music which is still in the 'safe' category. She gets teased for being into it but she doesn't get scorned whereas a lot of people in Western society see an anime episode and just see it as a cartoon when many animes can be very violent and for adults only. I don't like them for being cartoons alright. I like then because I like entertainment. I'll watch/read almost anything but I particularly like anime because it is not as constrained as Western stories/cartoons. It mixes my two favourite mediums together after all: stories and art. But no, apparently I am childish and immature when I'd probably say I am MORE mature simply because I have broadened my horizons and I am interested in all sorts of areas.
Moving along: she met her future husband when she was 19 and that was it. She's married a lovely man in a beautiful ceremony and now she's six weeks out from having her first child. Her life isn't perfect by any means but she couldn't have asked for a more wonderful start. She lives in a brand new, enormous house on a massive farm. She's rich and she has horses, dogs, a cat, a big garden and an amazing car and she's only 25. There's no doubt about it: she knows what she wants in life and she gets it. Not only that, she's really pretty and can flirt like there's no tomorrow. She is a great conversationalist and always the centre of attention. She's confident and self assured. Guys are always hitting on her. She even told me that a workman from a neighbouring farm hit on her last week and she's married and 7 1/2 months pregnant!!! What the heck?!
It's no wonder I feel fat, frumpy and tongue tied when she's around. Our conversation largely consists of her and her life and her calling me a dag because apparently I have an odd sense of humour. So what if I'm quirky? So what if I haven't had a boyfriend (and god knows if I ever will since my flirting skills suck so much - I'm shy alright! That doesn't mean I won't say yes if you ask me! Why should I have to ask? Not all girls have to be confident because surely not all guys find that sexy?) We talk about her all the time and how great her sex life is and how much of a pain it is to be pregnant. You know some of us are terrified that we're going to end up alone and never have any children of our own! And if I dare complain about it's the same old, "well you just need to be more confident and flirt. Nothing will come to you if you don't put yourself out there." Yeah well I don't want to simper and fawn! I want to meet someone who will talk with me and make me feel comfortable. I am shy and I don't want to be rushed into something and expected to have sex on the first date. I don't like touching someone as a form of flirting because frankly I'd be a little alarmed if some guy did that to me the first time we met and started talking. She never asks me what's going on in my life and she's constantly making me feel like an idiot because she always has such a tremendously strong opinion that you doubt yourself and start believing that maybe she is right.
I don't like her freakin friend okay! (Something we argue about more than anything else) And I am effin' entitled to my opinion! She's a horrible person who has upset all the other friends in their social circle and my sister still can't see it. This person didn't come to the hen's night and on the wedding night, after I had given my speech, she decided to upstage me by doing her own speech. She tried to make it look like she wasn't getting up on her soap box by making the other two bridemaids get up there with her - one of which was quite drunk and going through some horrible family issues and all three of them made terrible speeches. And then, my sister blames the drunk one and says how dare she do that on my sister's wedding night instead of caring about how much her friend is hurting. I mean, who does that? Yes, your wedding is a very special day and your friends should leave their problems at home but life happens and I can't believe she can be so on the side of one friend (who everyone else hates) and so mad at another who has been a far longer friend and had a lot of things going on in her life and was dragged into making a speech that she never should have had to make.
In the end it is so humiliating to be jealous of her and I am trying so hard to be me and improve in my own way and I should be grateful to have advice from her (or so everyone and my conscious keeps telling me) but you know what? I don't freakin' want any of it!!! I don't want these feelings and I just want to be me. I want to be able to see her and not have a complete meltdown. Is that too much to ask for? I want to have a few of my own wins in life and I want to freakin do it myself! I don't need advice from someone who's basically got lucky. Yeah I admit I thought and probably still think I am smarter and more widely read than her. I admit that I did better in school than her and thought that I was always better than her and I freakin hate that I even thought that in the first place because I never thought I was that type of person. I hate myself and I hate that I do that as well and that I am so freakin hard on myself. I just wish my chaotic thoughts would take a backseat for a change and leave me the alone because you know what? Life is meant to be enjoyed and not endured and right now I just can't figure out how to enjoy it at all. I don't want to feel like I am struggling because I want to feel like I am being challenged and I want to enjoy the journey instead of constantly feeling exhausted by my feelings.
#jealous #sister #friends #sad #upset #panic #attack #meltdown #envious #envy #my #life #hate #myself
I do not believe we were meant to be a monogamous species and that the Catholic church, in their quest for social order centuries ago, made it a practice.
Im in 3rd grade and im 14yrs old. I have a feelings on a girl who is one year older than me. Im always not brave enough to go and talk to her or say "Hi!" bc I always think that if I started talking to her she's going to think that im weird and maybe she'll start avoiding me or something... But I want to be friends with her......
So when I was 12 I was curious so I went on porn hub. And I started watching it and I got horny so I started rubbing my clit just that then I decided to finger myself so I put in one finger and it felt so good. Then I tried 2 but it hurt to much so I tried it more and more until I got it.
i have a teeth licking kink. I tried to lick my girlfriends teeth and she let me lick her beautiful sharp canines and i haven't stopped thinking about it even though that was 4 months ago. I know its weird i like licking sharp teeth but whatever.
#teeth #licking #odontophilia #ilickedmygirlfriendsteethandilovedit
I read the stories on this site and master bate reading them. I sit on my couch chair and hump it it feels so good I have never orgasmed
I'm a 17 year old male and I have about 2 friends. I don't really even talk to them much anymore. I'm quite shy, and can't really talk to girls either. I just don't want to interaction with people.
It's not that I don't want friends, it's I see the world a different way. Instead of seeing all the joys, I see real truth. The bad, evil, and whatnot. I see the class in people, their true nature. I am very distrusting of people. My oldest friend of 10 years I still can't fully trust. I am also not up with the ages of ge to generation. They listen to the new today's music, talk with in ways that aren't even English, do drugs, sex, and that sort of thing. I can't do that. I like to make complete sentences using intelegent wording, I listen to music from 2008 prior. I don't know. I just can't stand it.
From all that I witness of my generation, I have started to hate people. I hate the non intelegent people who listen to today's music, can't make a proper sentence, don't even use words in the English dictionary and make up ones. It's not that I think of myself as superior to them, I just think that my generation starts the downfall of American society.
I think from this, it has taken a toll on me. I am severely depressed, I am highly paranoid, some Early signs of schizophrenia, multiple personalities, the list goes on. My generation and being around them upsets me. What happened to our society? Where is it going? How long will it take? I can't do this anymore. I'm not going to commit suicide, in my eyes suicide is for the weak and if you fail suicide your a failure of a human and any living organism, my anger is building up. Nobody knows about it. I hide my emotions and it builds up. One of these days I'm going to burst. Nobody knows how dangerous I can be. It's not going to be good.
This kills me, it really does. Someone has to do it though, and it's going to be me.
I live a very simple life, it may not be the most normal but it’s simple. So I work weekdays, have weekends off. I live alone, I’m 25. I just work, then go to the gym. I have friends but I just like doing my own thing while I try to save my money. But as a 25 year old sex is a need for me. I don’t want to bar hop because I don’t drink, and dating isn’t in my plans just yet. But sex is still needed. So every weekend, and I literally mean every weekend, I will pay for sex. Normally it’s through online apps. I keep it simple. 200 dollars for a few hours. Then they can shower if they want, and leave. I just enjoy making out, getting oral, then having sex preferably unprotected. Whether it’s a new 18 year old hooker, or a 40 year old dirty hooker, if it’s a hole I’ll fuck it. I spend 200 to 600 dollars for sex from Friday night to Sunday night. It’s just my thing. The reason I offer 200 when it’s usually cheaper is so I can have my make out session, get oral, and not have to wear protection. Plus I do feel bad for them so I like to pay well. And I make such good money and I save well so treating myself is fine. I know once I get into a real relationship my sexual past is going to be brought up but until then I’m satisfied sleeping with these girls. To me it’s better than jerking off in the dark alone. I get to fuck all types of girls. From 18 to 45. Skinny, fat, fake lips, big butts. It’s incredible. And I will admit it’s kinda addicting at the moment.
I laughed about Amy Winehouse. Just found out about an hour ago that she's dead.
Oops.
#amy #winehouse #dead #laugh #confession
I’m basically an emotional crutch for my friend, pretty much the only one she has, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to kill myself soon. I just don’t know what to do, I don’t want to leave her alone and stranded with nobody to talk to anymore, but I don’t think my mind is going to let me stay here much longer. And the worst part is I’m doing everything right. I’ve been taking my meds, reaching out to people when I need them, ive been taking notice when I’m having irrational thoughts and putting a stop to them, I’ve been excersicing, boy howdy have I. Been excersicing, but I still hear screaming that isn’t there, I still feel like my room is closing in on me, I still feel like my mind is deteriorating...what am I doing wrong?
Okay. So me and my partner have been struggling quite a lot recently with arguing and things like that. Well we'd just had an argument and I'd stormed off and was sitting in my car thinking about how and why I'd not done so great in relationships before. So obviously, I sought feedback from my ex.
A bit of backstory, my ex broke up with me after 1.5 years of dating. It wasn't a great relationship, we argued a lot and broke up and got back together etc. Anyway. He had a gambling addiction that I found out about, he told me he'd stopped and been done with gambling for a year so I took him for a celebratory meal etc. Anyways, I find out about 6 months after it was all a lie and he'd been gambling behind my back and its why he never had money (he told me he was saving for a house). This led to me controlling his finances (he asked me to) and obviously started the strain on the relationship because of the lie and the constant lying on top of that.
He breaks up with me outside a pub at 12.30pm and never gave me an honest answer as to why things ended. So during this argument, I thought I need to know. So I reached out to him and was really nice and polite like hey hope you're well etc but why did you break up with me kind of thing...
I didn't expect a reply, but I got one. And he said that he was struggling at the time and it was intense etc but he couldn't think of a reason. Anyway, I left it a day (things have been resolved with my partner) and thought I'll just reply and say thanks, hope you're well, carry on getting help and hope the family is okay.
I send the message.
He's blocked me.
Why?
Cause he's the biggest time wasting individual who doesn't deserve a food word spoken about him who goes around, lying to everyone and everything and then running away from the situation.
I rlly want to talk to someone about it but I lied to my best mate and said I didn't text him and can't tell my partner cause it would hurt them. So here I am, silently fuming cause I didn't get the last word and wanting to just tell him once and for all to shove his over entitled head up his own arse.
#myex #seekingclosure #closure #ex #breakup #partner #confession
I have 4 cats for 2 years now. One tomcat and 3 cats. Tommy, my tomcat (hahaha.. coincidence) has the habit to pee in every corner of the house and it drives me crazy. And some days ago, he brought it to the top. He peed on me, while I was lying on the couch!
I was so angry with him that I caught him and locked him in the shower... where I pissed on him...
Now I'm so sorry but I was so angry to that time and I wanted revenge.
I have had an obsession with pregnant tummies ever since I was 11 years old, it happened when my mom was pregnant at the time she was 33, she'd always had the habit of leaving the door open whenever she'd changed her clothes, so seeing her in her panties and bra at the time had given me boners in my no fly underwear. Not long after I'd turned 11, my mom's tummy had started getting swollen and she had soon started wearing stretchy panties with her bras, which had come up a lot higher over her ever swelling tummy, that had given me a huge arousal in my teeny tight bathing suit, sometimes they were called speedos. By the time my mom had become 7 months pregnant, I had gotten a big boner in my tiny jean shorts, as she had worn her bikini bra and big short shorts, what a body my mom had, even while pregnant. I could tell that she had loved showing off her tummy, even at the time she had been pregnant.
I have a girlfriend. And I love her. But before her, there was someone else. We never really got anywhere worth writing home about, this other girl. She was in a difficult place at the time. So we just flirted, kept up a certain level of sexual tension, while still keeping each other at arm's length. It was, strangely, fun. Let's call her Mary.
Then, I started dating the girl that would be my girlfriend. She was hard to get and even harder to read. A real spitfire who'd never let me get away with anything. Everyone she meant would say that there’s something about her that just leaves you enthralled but you just don't know what exactly. It's something. Call her Amy.
Things hit off with Amy. It was a rocky start being who she is but it got somewhere nice, somewhere serious.
But early on with Amy, Mary and I kept texting and kept interacting on social media. We would comment on each other's photos how hot we thought the other was. Amy didn't mind. Mary was a friend, after all. In the DMs, Mary always talked about how we should get some coffee sometime; how we should maybe get a drink. Just us. She knew about Amy, though. We talked about Amy sometimes, so she knew.
The plans for coffee or drinks never went anywhere. I just kept saying, "Yeah. Maybe."
It didn't go anywhere until one day, it did.
Amy was out of town. And Mary dropped a selfie on my DMs saying she in a cafe downtown alone. I thought about for a while. Then I hopped on my car and went for it. "What harm could some coffee do?" I thought at the time.
I got there and we talked. She talked about med school and I talked about my own shit. It was, in a word, surreal. Then she asked me to walk her to the toilet. It was up some stairs and away from prying eyes. Before she went in she gave me a hug and, out of habit and shock, I hugged her back. My heart was racing. She pulled back and held my face in her hands, then wrapped them around the back of my neck gently.
"You're an amazing guy, you know that?" She said, her face close to mine. She was, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful people I've ever known.
I smiled.
We stared at each other for a while, arms locked around each other. In any other situation, this is where I would go in for a kiss.
But no, I just said, "You should go in, Mary. I'll downstairs."
I don't know if it was guilt or something else. Maybe a part of me had finally decided to admit what my concious mind wouldn't: that I was cheating on Amy.
When she went in, I called up my bestfriend. I told him to call me in 10 mins with some fake emergency. He knew where I was and who I was with, so he agreed. No questions asked.
When Mary returned, we continued talking for a little bit before my bestfriend called. I left that cafe on the whim of some fake emergency that afternoon. Despite that, I was one of the best non-date dates I've ever had.
A few days later, Mary stopped interacting with me on social media. No likes, no comments. She stopped the DMs and when I would try, she would respond but only to be respectful, I felt like.
And so eventually, I stopped.
A few weeks had passed and I got a DM out of the blue from Mary. I remember I had just woken up that summer day when I got it.
"I meant what I said. You're an amazing guy. Wish you the best. Take care of yourself."
I never responded. I didn't know how to. I didn't know what it meant.
That was three years ago. I don't see Mary anymore. I don't speak to her, whether in person or online. But sometimes, during the late nights, I think about that day in the cafe and about what that message, that seemed too much like a goodbye, meant.
Amy, to this day, doesn't know about it. And I've never done anything like that since. We're happier than we've ever been now and things are going great.
Mary hasn't dated anyone since, I don't think. But I see her online, looking happy and still in med school.
I'm writing this now because it's been three years. All that time and I still think about Mary.
I miss my ddlg relationship so much I don’t think I can love anymore else again but every time I’m with him I hate myself because of things he brings up whenever we weren’t even together.
My boyfriend and I went to a party my best friend had invited us to, we weren't sure on going but later that night decided to go. At the party my boyfriend and I were dancing and we were pretty drunk then out of nowhere he pulled me to the closest restroom and he pushed me in and locked the door behind him then he pushed me up against the wall and started kissing me hard and then he kissed my neck then my chest all over and unbuttoned my shirt and started licking and kissing my stomach he unbuttoned my shorts and slid them off then he slid my panties to the side and stuck his fingers inside me i was moaning so loud and didn't care if any one heard because it felt so good that I had an orgasm then he took my bra off and sucked my titties and went down slowly kissing my stomach again and then he went down to my thighs and my body was shaking uncontrollably and he made his way to my pussy slid my panties off and ate me out for a good 15 mins then I started undressing him, he made me get down on my knees and kiss his stomach all over and then I licked my way down to his super hard dick and started sucking his cock, he picked me up put me on the counter and fucked the shit out of me. I came 5x and then he turned me over and fucked be from behind, he fucked me so hard I came 3 more times then he finally came all over my chest, helped me clean up and we unlocked the door and went back to dancing....it was so damn hot I still have flashbacks. I love my man.
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