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Read the best #envy confession stories
I'll admit it: I'm human and I get so envious of others and how much is going on in their lives and I hate myself for it. I hate that I even have these feelings in the first place because my life is my own and I have made the choices I have made that have led me to today. No one else made them for me and for the most part, my life really isn't that bad. I don't need to have the biggest and the best house, job, car, etc... I've got somewhere to live, a nice enough car, a cat, plenty of wine and a decent job. What more should I want for besides someone to share my life with and maybe some actual friends? I'm working on it!
In the end it just feels like it's not enough when my sister comes over and I get so angry at myself because normally I like my life and who I am and it's not her fault that she makes me feel jealous and stupid. I should be the bigger person and just let this go but she seems to be a like a storm: something that just comes along with all it's thunder and lightning and their's nothing you can do to halt it's approach. It's a cycle and by the time she leaves or I leave every time we get together, I almost feel like I'm in physical pain from the press of holding my emotions in check. I always end up balling like a pathetic idiot just to release some of the tension. Often I have trouble breathing. It's almost like a panic attack is induced or something and I just don't get it.
To give you some background, my sister is two years younger than me and 20 kilos lighter. I'd probably say I am the prettier of the two of us even if I am overweight although she has a nicer smile and definitely knows how to dress. We grew up in a small town and I was the only farm girl in my year group with the other 9 girls being town girls. It was just two different worlds. I grew up liking the outdoors and using my imagination but the townies liked sitting around and gossiping about boys and clothes, etc. My sister on the other hand, had four other girls her age who grew up on farms and they all became fast friends. I went through school going from friend to friend and as a result, my social skills are somewhat lacking. Don't worry, that's not the case so much these days but I just don't get people like she does and despite trying to be a laid back person, I just seem to be so sensitive. I can't handle it when people let me down or don't live up to my expectations. It also doesn't help that we have so many of the same interests. We worked for similar companies, we both like reading, writing, art, cooking and sewing. I feel like I can never be an individual and I am too embarrassed to show any of my artwork to my family who scorned the fact that I like(d) manga & anime when I was younger and still do. I am the black sheep of the family and if my own parents and siblings judge me for my tastes so much then other people outside the family certainly will. However she likes country music which is still in the 'safe' category. She gets teased for being into it but she doesn't get scorned whereas a lot of people in Western society see an anime episode and just see it as a cartoon when many animes can be very violent and for adults only. I don't like them for being cartoons alright. I like then because I like entertainment. I'll watch/read almost anything but I particularly like anime because it is not as constrained as Western stories/cartoons. It mixes my two favourite mediums together after all: stories and art. But no, apparently I am childish and immature when I'd probably say I am MORE mature simply because I have broadened my horizons and I am interested in all sorts of areas.
Moving along: she met her future husband when she was 19 and that was it. She's married a lovely man in a beautiful ceremony and now she's six weeks out from having her first child. Her life isn't perfect by any means but she couldn't have asked for a more wonderful start. She lives in a brand new, enormous house on a massive farm. She's rich and she has horses, dogs, a cat, a big garden and an amazing car and she's only 25. There's no doubt about it: she knows what she wants in life and she gets it. Not only that, she's really pretty and can flirt like there's no tomorrow. She is a great conversationalist and always the centre of attention. She's confident and self assured. Guys are always hitting on her. She even told me that a workman from a neighbouring farm hit on her last week and she's married and 7 1/2 months pregnant!!! What the heck?!
It's no wonder I feel fat, frumpy and tongue tied when she's around. Our conversation largely consists of her and her life and her calling me a dag because apparently I have an odd sense of humour. So what if I'm quirky? So what if I haven't had a boyfriend (and god knows if I ever will since my flirting skills suck so much - I'm shy alright! That doesn't mean I won't say yes if you ask me! Why should I have to ask? Not all girls have to be confident because surely not all guys find that sexy?) We talk about her all the time and how great her sex life is and how much of a pain it is to be pregnant. You know some of us are terrified that we're going to end up alone and never have any children of our own! And if I dare complain about it's the same old, "well you just need to be more confident and flirt. Nothing will come to you if you don't put yourself out there." Yeah well I don't want to simper and fawn! I want to meet someone who will talk with me and make me feel comfortable. I am shy and I don't want to be rushed into something and expected to have sex on the first date. I don't like touching someone as a form of flirting because frankly I'd be a little alarmed if some guy did that to me the first time we met and started talking. She never asks me what's going on in my life and she's constantly making me feel like an idiot because she always has such a tremendously strong opinion that you doubt yourself and start believing that maybe she is right.
I don't like her freakin friend okay! (Something we argue about more than anything else) And I am effin' entitled to my opinion! She's a horrible person who has upset all the other friends in their social circle and my sister still can't see it. This person didn't come to the hen's night and on the wedding night, after I had given my speech, she decided to upstage me by doing her own speech. She tried to make it look like she wasn't getting up on her soap box by making the other two bridemaids get up there with her - one of which was quite drunk and going through some horrible family issues and all three of them made terrible speeches. And then, my sister blames the drunk one and says how dare she do that on my sister's wedding night instead of caring about how much her friend is hurting. I mean, who does that? Yes, your wedding is a very special day and your friends should leave their problems at home but life happens and I can't believe she can be so on the side of one friend (who everyone else hates) and so mad at another who has been a far longer friend and had a lot of things going on in her life and was dragged into making a speech that she never should have had to make.
In the end it is so humiliating to be jealous of her and I am trying so hard to be me and improve in my own way and I should be grateful to have advice from her (or so everyone and my conscious keeps telling me) but you know what? I don't freakin' want any of it!!! I don't want these feelings and I just want to be me. I want to be able to see her and not have a complete meltdown. Is that too much to ask for? I want to have a few of my own wins in life and I want to freakin do it myself! I don't need advice from someone who's basically got lucky. Yeah I admit I thought and probably still think I am smarter and more widely read than her. I admit that I did better in school than her and thought that I was always better than her and I freakin hate that I even thought that in the first place because I never thought I was that type of person. I hate myself and I hate that I do that as well and that I am so freakin hard on myself. I just wish my chaotic thoughts would take a backseat for a change and leave me the alone because you know what? Life is meant to be enjoyed and not endured and right now I just can't figure out how to enjoy it at all. I don't want to feel like I am struggling because I want to feel like I am being challenged and I want to enjoy the journey instead of constantly feeling exhausted by my feelings.
#jealous #sister #friends #sad #upset #panic #attack #meltdown #envious #envy #my #life #hate #myself
I envy all women and would do anything to be born a girl. Women are smart and beautiful and get guys whenever. I love everything about womanhood I even wish to God I had periods and could get pregnant. Pregnancy is something that I have always had a deep desire to do. I cry sometimes because I can't do all things that woman can. I already have almost nothing down there, it is around an inch long and I can't get hard since I never had testicles. I am also small like a girl and around 100 pounds. I am wearing a minidress with tights on and of course my bra, I am on estrogen and I have boobs. I had to learn it hurts like shit when they get crushed, but I still love them. I am hoping that this guy named John is coming over he called and said he was. I love men even though they can be real dicks at times, but I will not go lesbian.
My daughter is 5 years old and she gets a lot of compliments for her beautiful long lashes. I was really tired of hearing those flatteries... I cut them off about 15 minutes ago while she was sleeping.
She has to learn that nothing can be taken for granted.
I am a 53 year old white woman named "Carol". My 26 year old daughter "Kim" married a black man, "Derrick" a few years ago. He's very nice and they're happily in love and I have a beautiful little grandson with another grandchild on the way. Things are wonderful.
Last year, my husband and I stayed at their home. they live in Atlanta, we live in Tampa, Florida.
While my husband was out one morning, and I thought the kids were up and out, I had a chore to do.
I was going to place a surprise anniversary gift for them, tickets for a trip to Cancun for a week on us, on their pillowcase for them to come home to. I thought Derrick had to work and Kim had said something about the gym in the morning.
I walked into their bedroom, the door was slightly open, and they were having sex. My daughter was on top of him and being very vocal about her enjoyment of it.I saw the look of pleasure in my daughter's eyes, and heard it in her voice, and realized that I'd never experienced anything like that in my life. Thankfully, they didn't see me but I cannot stop thinking about it.
When he withdrew from her I saw he was so well endowed that I almost gasped in shock. My God, how does she take that?!?!?!
I was so aroused by watching them that I feel ashamed that I have repeatedly masturbated about what I saw and fantasized and had dreams about having sex with Derrick myself.
I think I'm going mad.
Please pray for me.
#adultery #envy #lust #black #daughter #mother #envy #embarassment
There is this woman I know around in my town in Australia who is a a real geeky sort (like me), and who is a bit weird and aspie (unfortunately, also like me) - turns out, she is transgender.
I was born a guy BTW, and aside from this woman who basically used me for money and another who just, well, she was a fucking nutter herself (more than me, which is rare), I'm so insanely jealous of this transwoman that, to the point, I want to do the transition myself. Gamer girls get a lot more sex (from both men and women) than gamer guys, and I can tell you, I would just love the attention. Hell, I plan to work in porn if I have to. There are some sick bastards out there and I would just love to be the centre of attention, but in a way that, to me, is beautiful. (I know other people won't agree but I don't care).
Though I'll still be the same geeky person I always have been. Heck, wonder if I am in fact transgendered and my encounter with this person just triggered those feelings within me, or - hell if I know. Still, I do like the idea of being a transgender female, though I can't imagine the discrimination and loss of "male privilege" as the SJW crowd call it being too much fun. I just want to get rid of my disgusting male self but I really don't want to do myself in if I can help it. Maybe becoming a woman would help me restart my life. Yeah, I'm basically a whore in my mentality. So what? No-one has any right to judge me.
When I was in the last months of school, I spoke to my local priest about wanting to join the priesthood myself. I found another path in life but I do regret not at least making further progress with this. I don’t have many regrets in life but I believe I would have made a good priest. I am sure that this is what I should have done with my life and I often think how things would have turned out if I had thought about the commitment and actually done the right thing and gone ahead with the process to allow me to join the seminary.
There is no doubt that life would have been very different if I had had the courage and gumption to believe in myself and I would have been a priest for most of my life by now.
To be able to take a REAL part in the sacraments would have been a joy to me that I know I could never equal or surpass come to that.
I have watched Holy Mass on line, and to be in that position where I am the priest creating the body and blood of Christ.
I feel proud to think that I could have been in that position where I could have made a real difference to not only my life but to others as well.
I pray for guidance, and I would never have seen my decision to be a priest as a sacrifice, more one of the need to find fulfilment and to engage with God in a satisfying and very personal way.
It seems strange, but I feel envious of people who really find what they want to do with their life.
But I feel God’s love in my life, and I fervently and wholeheartedly believe that I should have had the honesty to answer His call, as I feel such serenity and peace in my heart.
But we all have to make choices in life.
I
I confess that I envy my sister's life.
She's perfect. She has a sweet and caring boyfriend, she only has good grades, she has fantastic friends, she is very good in sports, she gets her own money by working in a bakery (she's really good at baking too) and my parents adore her.
I am only the fat younger sister with bad grades and no friends.
It's terrible! I wish my sister wasn't born. Everything would have happened differently....
So there is this guy I like really like and I heard he was dating another girl and I got really jealous
My wife and I have been married for 21 years, and we are still very much in love. One night many years ago, I mentioned that she should have sex with other men, because she is magnificent and that others should get to experience what I have for years. She joined a couple of sites and found many men willing to participate. One night she started talking to a guy (who is also married) and they chatted many times, becoming closer and closer and agreed to meet for a date. They went on their date together and really hit it off, cuddling, kissing and very intimate for an entire afternoon and could not get enough of each other. Since the date my wife admitted to me that she had fallen in love with him and after years of online interaction, he has also admitted loving her (but his wife does not know). They have sent hundreds of pictures to each other and he has an 8" penis and mine is 4" at most, which is very humiliating (plus I suffer from premature ejaculation and he certainly doesn't). They regularly skype chat and get each other very excited. It wont be long now until they actually make love and my wife will have 2 men that adore her and worship her, one which will make love to her regularly and one just to love and adore. I am a bit jealous that he will be the one to make love and sexually please her, but I understand.
I know i should be happy if people around me find their success,but i can't help it i'm jealous.They seems know what they do unlike me.I'm lost i don't know what to do.I'm such a waste and failure.
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