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I’m addicted to trying to save the world. As a little autistic boy I endured extreme abuses. I responded by trying to be the best person I could.
My life is a shambles. I should be focused on my own life; instead I’m trying to help everyone else. I always wanted to be like Jesus; but am just a very defective human who honestly should not have been born. My parents both literally hated me. They told me that my whole life.
I learned you can’t just rationalize with irrational people in hopes they will change & do the right thing. I felt compelled during this pandemic to try to draw us all together. I used all sorts of tricks to try to get the two sides to meet in the middle. Stroke egos; hold out a carrot; point out their flaws & egos. Whatever felt like it might work. I’ve had conservatives & libs ask me to intervene before; because I was smart & neutral; but anerism damage has left me confused. I wonder if I’m doing any good. But I have seen my ideas used; & people helped. I’ve been thanked. But I also had someone e mail me & say they didn’t care if they were wrong & they hoped I’d die. I seem to stay on the edge of death; but I don’t actually die; so my disease will give them their wish, I just don’t know when.
I was working on the caronavirus & health care; but our nation has moved on from that. We don’t care about that issue anymore; so I’ve moved onto a serious issue; police brutality; & a silly issue, statues. Let’s start with the statues. As a Christian I know statues are idols. They are meaningless carved rocks. Stick them in a museum once people move on. So it’s the whole Grant; Columbus; Lee were slave owners debate. It should be easy. It’s history. People used to love these people because their grandpas fought in the war or whatever. Today most of us focus more on the flaws of these people. So move the statues. Put them in museums; on Civil War battlefields; or sell them to private collectors. Why are we all worked up about it. Move them to a more proper modern setting. Some of us don’t want a statue to a slave owner where we take our kids: driving down a road; going in a court house; etc. So put them in a proper setting. History belongs inside a museum. Some fought wars; so put them on a battlefield.
The other issue I’m working on is armed political protests. I think it’s insane. However; if others do it, I’ll try to address it. We have a problem in our media. They rarely do their job. They are supposed to tell us all the news; & in an unbiased way. We are supposed to each consume the news & draw our own conclusions. Instead; the media drives a narrative that will please a small target audience. It’s entertainment posing as news; aimed at selling ads & making $. I’m forced to consume all the extremes; then try to filter & assemble the actual truth.
For instance part of a city has been taken over. I’d hate to be a prisoner caught in there; but riots have left entire areas on there own anyways, so I don’t know if it’s worse. I would like to see great constraint shown. Unless they use violence don’t over react. That said; I’m pointing out how past administrations used deadly force to end such standoffs. I’m pointing out how media that cater to one extreme or the other cover such stories differently based on who the protestors are. I hope to convince the media they are inconsistent & that influences some in society, but I’m probably wasting my time.
In the end we need to start electing better human beings who want what’s best for all of us. I feel the media has helped create a situation where we elect dividers that enrich themselves by catering only to their voters at the expense of the other half. If we all worked together we could achieve so much more. But I seem to be the only one who sees that.
In the end I’m just trying to get everyone to love each other.
I'm 13 and I have masturbated before. I feel bad now because I'm Christian and I want God to forgive for what I have done...
I sometimes wonder if I make mistakes. Cause and affect.
I think maybe I need to stop talking to people.
Oh it was fun at times. It had purposes.
Sometimes you can help someone without it being obvious. You present yourself one way. Push buttons. Hope for a response. So long as the person doesn’t catch on; and the goal is to help innocents. Help do good. Be fair, but serve Gods will. Then I think it’s OK.
Maybe it’s time for me to focus on just my loved ones who still need me, and stay as healthy as I can for them. Let the rest of the world do it’s best. I only have so much energy left.
I’ll have to dwell on that.
i've been in love with my best friend for 3 1/2 years.
i'm female. shes female.
met her 5 years ago in college. apartently we went to the same school, same class. she transfered shortly after i went into homeschooling; we didn't get on for the first year.
second year, we became friends. it was 6 months in i think, i'd developed a crush. shortly after i realised it was love.
when college finished that year, i made sure to stay in contact. i'm terrible at holding realtionships, but for her i'd do my best. luckily she is simular in the way she doesn't need constant contact.
we meet up once a month. some skyping inbetween, since we live far apart.
reason i haven't told her? well apart from the fact i don't want to damage our friendship and make it awkward. she's a devote christian. she's very much straight and won't have sex until marriage. i'm also a virgin, not as self concious about it thanks to her.
so basicaly, i have no chance.
she doesn't even know i'm bisexual.
i wish i could get rid of this love i feel. i think about her some nights when masterbating. another thing she doesn't do. i want to get close to her and show her how nice it feels. give her her first orgasm. fondle and lick her breasts.
i want to hug and kiss her as a couple as we play video games and watch tv.
i want to marry her. i want to have kids with her. either inseminated or adopted.
*sigh* maybe i'll tell her one day, when we are in our 30's and married to different people .
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