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I was at a lake and saw a lot of hot girls. I’m a little chubby right now. I’m 6’1 200 pounds. I had to wear a swim shirt because of my lack in confidence. But once I got home it opened my eyes. I imagined how much more confident I would’ve been if I had abs and could’ve just walked up to them and said hey. I always fantasize about being in shape and being happy. I’ve started to fast and eat less chunk food. I only drink water now as well. I’m going back in a couple months and really want to have no shirt so I can actually feel good being around girls.
I feel guilty about losing weight. I am beginning to skip meals more than just sometimes. My best friend struggles with her body image, I do too. Before I started to change my lifestyle to get the body I strive for, she would tell me that she would die to look like me. She wants to look like me... I don't even want to look at myself, I don't know why anyone would want my ugly body. Now that I have lost weight she just wants to look like me more. She doesn't copy me or anything she just wants my body. When I occasionally talk about how I struggle with the way I see myself she denies my insecurities and says I'm not fat. I feel like when I talk about how I don't like my body, she may take it as I don't like hers either because she is bigger than I am. Which is in no way true. It feels like its unfair on her half.
(bad spelling in this, prob won't make sense. I just needed to rant)
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