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Read the best #paranoia confession stories
Paranoia. I once had a near death medical incident. Took a meds. Odd reaction. For a while I was paranoid. Then I went off the med and it passed.
But sometimes it tries to return. I learned to ignore it. For instance, sometimes I think people in my house are talking about me. Going thru my stuff. Even conspiring against me in a sense. So I recorded what they were saying. Listened when I was very calm and happy.
Sometimes they are saying hateful things about me. Sometimes they are mocking me. Sometimes one of them is trying to manipulate the others so together they can get their way and bulldoze me. So that’s not paranoia.
However; other things I recorded when my mind wondered are they talking about me, they were not.
In life most everyone is mentally disturbed to some level. Most everyone’s main focus is themself. They desire control. Seek a way to get control over others. To influence others. Not for bad per sa. If I’m nice people will be nice to me. If I look hot that cute person will date me because I want to be touched by them. You get it?
So in my case, I’ve spent my life around people who conspire together against others. It’s quite ridiculous, but think of gangs. Gang members are really cowards. Too afraid to stand up alone. But I’m a pack they have the power. 5 gang bangers together are not afraid of a frail old person. Give them guns and they will even take on a small healthy man. For me they’d want a tank or two.
Watch shark fest. I’m like an orca. I know I own the seas. I walk thru the world unafraid. Sure a nuclear sub could take me on. But other than that I’m all good. But most humans are like those little gray sharks. They need to form a pack to have real power.
This is why you’ll see really scared people walking with dogs. The nice scared people have labs. The mean scared people have pit bulls.
Stay away from any human who owns a pit bull. They may go violent on you for no reason one day.
See. Humans are a lot like animals. If you accept that parts of you function like an animal; but realize you have a conscious mind, then you can control false thoughts.
Thus; if you are feeling paranoid, that’s a basic survival skill. Zebras eat, but they watch for lions. Lions are always there. But lions suddenly spring out of the grass. They chase whichever they’ve picked. If it’s a group they zig and zag. The one that stumbles or goes the wrong way is eaten.
So your paranoid for a reason. But you have to accept in life there’s a certain level of danger. We all start to die the moment we are born. It’s a certainty. The absolute Ready Player One game. This game plays for keeps. Game over is game over forever here.
So I always wonder as the scared person on the walking trail with 5 dogs walks by, why not just buy a treadmill or join a gym?
The question is do you want to spend your entire life living in fear? Or do you want to live. Bad neighborhood? Try to save up and move. Not always an option. So stay indoors as much as possible.
Here’s something that boggles the mind. We need a border wall. The drugs coming across puts a lot of people in a grave. The drugs provide the wealth for gang leaders to form a gang. Then they branch out. Extortion, breaking into homes and cars. Rape. Intimidation. Random violence.
Take away those illegal drugs, and the gangs dry up. Poor people can control their streets again.
But some cities need new poor people to keep gov money coming in. To keep all their senate seats. Some companies and people want cheap labor.
Some people just feel compassion. Like for those unaccompanied children stumbling around.
So we get this. Drugs. Gangs.
Why not build the wall. But ask cities and states if they want illegals. If they do have buses waiting. Send them to airports. Funnel them into those systems. In this way, everyone is happy.
If you live in Iowa why do you care if Michigan wants a bunch of illegals? That’s like the distance of Spain from Norway. Just stay in Iowa and live your life. If those people in California bother you so much, don’t go there.
Compromise. Good people with money and resources to spare helping people who need help. Other people who don’t want to be involved left out of it. Inner city people able to walk to parks without the gangs. Kids not joining gangs out of fear. Teens not over dosing. Children not watching their parents over dosing. Isn’t that a better way than what we have now?
Don’t let your fear cause paranoia that overwhelms your life. A life of complete fear isn’t much of a life. But if that’s all you have, keep living it. Just make the best of whatever life you have. We are all trapped in our own skins.
Time for me to go back to being funny and obnoxious. I rarely let people see the real me. I like to hide behind an illusion.
TRDP
#paranoia #fear #survival #trdp #wall #border #hope #pitbull
Recently my friend celebrate Halloween and he turn on a candle in the night (surrounded by glass panes). I wok up in the night because his fishes make some wired noise... but ironically the noise came from above where his parents and little brother slept. Definitely I take of everything from the aquarium (oxygen and so...) and in the morning they were dead. My friend cried a lot and still cries if he only hears the word "fish". But I have slowly noticed that the noise had to have come from his parents. I think they try out the Kamasutra book they got from my parents. The party was at a 13th, therefore my friend gets paranoia when this day comes. Then he will sleep in his parents bed. I regret nothing.
So, I know I'm going to sound like an asshole (because I am one) no matter what, so I'll just explain what's going on without changing any details to make me look better. I'm seriously a horrible person anyway.
Ok, so, one of my school friends (we go to a girls' school) has paranoia. She's a nice person I guess, funny and into a few things I'm also into so we can get along, but when she isn't in a good mood (so most of the time) she always talks about how much everyone hates her and how annoying she must be. We tell her we don't, but then she talks about when we go out without her (not mentioning that it was only a few people and many others didn't come) and how I always take people away.
Basically, sometimes at lunch I'll grab my best friend of 7-8 years and we'll walk around by ourselves a bit, just talking. Sometimes a few other newer friends also tag along. She never makes an effort to come with us. And then suddenly one morning she says she's "triggered because you always take [friend] away and she never comes back" and that I leave her out on purpose. Like, help?
Once she and my best friend were talking when me and another friend approach. We start talking about something that she knows about and can join in on, yet she just stays quiet. Then she starts CRYING. So me and my friend leave her and my best friend alone. My best friend tries to talk to her, I didn't hear what they said, but we came back and she was still crying. So the three of us just kept talking because she wouldn't let us comfort her, and now we're blocking her out on purpose?
Then later that day when she's in a good mood that friend accidently mentions her crying and she blamed the both of us.
What. The. Hell.
A third instance is when we all got an app. Well, I did, then told my peers and we all realised we had it, execpt for a few other friends including her. They all saw how much fun we were having with it and we made a group chat on WhatsApp for it, like as a club. So the friends who didn't have it all got it except the paranoid one! So then at random points in conversations she mentions how she thinks we all just use that chat to talk about how much we dislike her…does she have no faith in us?
I understand she's paranoid, but it's getting kind of annoying. We reassure her CONSTANTLY yet she continues to talk about herself and how much we hate her, even though we don't! I know, I know, I'm the Ultimate Asshole but at this point I'm about to tell her to tone down the paranoia right to her face. The world doesn't resolve around her and not everything is about how "ugly" she is! Someone insulted her as a joke and she cried and told us we should stop her from sitting at our bench, even though she insulted her the exact same way just before!
She's a nice person, I know that, but I'm seriously done with her. I don't think she's doing it for attention, I hope she isn't, but I've had it up to HERE with her bloody paranoia and trying to guilt trip us into things! She starts loads of arguments too, then says it's more evidence that we all hate her. And at this point, I'm starting to believe her. I want to be friends with her but it's SO ANNOYING! I can't talk to her anymore!
Please, has anyone got any advice for me even though I'm an asshole? I think most of my friends are annoyed at her two, including my bestie, who told me personally. I don't know what to do.
As a kid I watched someone use drugs. They’d hallucinate. I said not me. When you see a person go from normal to screaming. Running from things not there. Hurting themselves and others. Not me.
Then I almost died. You wanna live? Take these meds. The meds led to new problems. New meds.
Then the meds caused PTSD. That led to more meds.
Well. One med made me hallucinate. I tried to escape I’m told. Can’t remember.
I do remember one med made me paranoid. This was compounded by a bad childhood and a real danger in our life. My wife tried to convince me the real danger was not real. But it was strange. It’s like when the TV preacher; radio DJ; newscaster. Well.
You now how in a movie they don’t look into the camera? That breaks the illusion your watching something real. You now realize the actor is looking at the audience. Hey. I’m an actor.
Well. On this med my mind would say. Did they just look at me? I didn’t run off screaming. I knew they really weren’t. I just felt like they were.
Off and on I’ve been thru stuff like that. Take this med. I don’t want to. But I never tell them about the side effect.
But I beat it. When I wasn’t on such meds. I called some shows. Heard myself. Had others do it. Heard them. See now they really were to me and others. One liked me so much I met them. Took pics. Me and others. They remember. Got the pics. So it’s real.
Well they’ve had me on said meds again. Can’t sleep. Paranoia. But I beat it. I called some shows. Broke the spell. I went thru. Heard me talking to me. Delayed of course.
Oh. I’m still feeling that itch; nervous; hot cold; sick to stomach; shaky; nervous stuff. I hate these meds. But I now know it’s paranoia. I altered the show. Made them talk to me. Heard it delayed.
Then I did the greatest thing you can do to paranoia. I hung up. Changed channels. Put on a movie. Said I don’t care who thinks what about me. I’m a good person. They can laugh at me. But I can laugh at them too. F them. It’s nothing personal. I just have to live within what meds are doing to me.
So it’s fading. Losing its hold on me. I’ll wait a week or two. Then slowly listen again. If it’s just a show I’ll stay. If not two more weeks.
I may have to take these meds to stay alive longer. But I don’t have to let the side effects control my life.
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