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Time's stern tide, with cold Oblivion's wave, Shall soon dissolve each fair, each fading charm. ↗

— Anna Seward

#cold #dissolve #each #fading #fair

Certainly. Of course. That’s part of it. And always coming to school or when we’re going home, you’re to walk with me, when there ain’t anybody looking – and you choose me and I choose you at parties, because that’s the way you do when you’re engaged. ↗

— Mark Twain

#home

I wiped my face with my napkin. “What made you want to become an actor?” I was sure he was going to tell me something pompous like he was born to play the role. Or that he wanted to get all the woman. So I waited. “Me.” He bit his lip, but his eyes didn’t meet mine. “I got sick of failing and being told I would never amount to shit back home my entire life.” I rubbed the back of my neck. This wasn’t what I expected to hear. “I’ve fucked up royally and I have been fucked royally.” There was a tightness in his eyes, the emotion crawled up his entire body. “And no I don’t want your pity.” I fidgeted in my chair. I didn’t know what to say. “I understand.” Our eyes met, and for a split second Carter looked as if he was considering believing me. He blew out a noisy breath of air. “The fuck you do. ↗

— Maven West

#flirty #love #home

I want to write the Boston Marathon of run-on sentences. And since it'll be so long, I'll replace all the commas with the word Gatorade, to help push people through it. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#boston-marathon #commas #funny #gatorade #humor

If our destiny stems from our name, then I weep for the flower named Wilt. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#flower #flowers #humor #sadness #wilt

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs. ↗

— Robin P. Williams

#drugs #humor #reality #humor

I want to read the employment section of the Bible. I think it’s simply called Job. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#employment #hilarious #humor #jarod-kintz #job

SADNESS OF THE INTELLECT: Sadness of being misunderstood [sic]; Humor sadness; Sadness of love wit[hou]t release; Sadne[ss of be]ing smart; Sadness of not knowing enough words to [express what you mean]; Sadness of having options; Sadness of wanting sadness; Sadness of confusion; Sadness of domes[tic]ated birds, Sadness of fini[shi]ng a book; Sadness of remembering; Sadness of forgetting; Anxiety sadness... ↗

— Jonathan Safran Foer

#humor

A well-read woman is a dangerous creature. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#reading #wallflowers #women #humor

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy offers this definition of the word "Infinite". Infinite: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, "wow, that's big", time. Infinity is just so big that by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#douglas-adams #humor #humor