#am

Oh, so now you’re abusing the crippled kid, huh?” Kenji takes a moment to steady himself before punching Adam in the arm. “Save your angst for the battlefield, bro. You’re going to need it. ↗

— Tahereh Mafi

#humor #kenji #humor

The joke was that President Bush only declared war when Starbucks was hit. You can mess with the U.N. all you want, but when you start interfering with the right to get caffeinated, someone has to pay. ↗

— Chris Kyle

#american #bush #caffeine #coffee #humor

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it. ↗

— Dave Barry

#heath #humor #humor

I said the first thing that came into my head unfortunately. "Save the drama for your mama " I told her just like an eleven-year-old. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#humor #humor

The thought of talking about it made Pueblo's gut ache, but then he thought of everything that Amy had been through – not that she'd told him her version yet. She had balls of steel, he thought with a smile. And what did he have? Three pairs of loin cloths going crisp on the radiator. ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#bravery #hero #heroine #humor #humour

Stupid English." "English isn't stupid," I say. "Well, my English teacher is." He makes a face. "Mr. Franklin assigned an essay about our favorite subject, and I wanted to write about lunch, but he won't let me." "Why not?" "He says lunch isn't a subject." I glance at him. "It isn't." "Well," Jacob says, "it's not a predicate, either. Shouldn't he know that? ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#grammar #humor #school #humor

Stamp: "Fine Maddy, Whatever. Take your little punk loser to the dance. I don't need you, Maddy. I can ask two dozen, three dozen chicks right now to go with me." Maddy: "Well then," I guess you better start stocking up on corsages. ↗

— Rusty Fischer

#maddy #stamp #humor

A line of perspiration slipped down my spine like a waterslide at an unamusement park. ↗

— Michelle Rowen

#vampire #humor

He pulled out a dagger from ... she wasn't sure where. Did he have that in his loin cloth? What else does he have in there? (Amy's thoughts, The Witching Pen) ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#dianna-hardy #humor #humorous #paranormal-romance #the-witching-pen

My brother got shot three times two months ago, and he didn’t get the fever.” “I bet your family gets shot at a lot, huh? ↗

— Shelly Laurenston

#humor #lock #family