#amp

It's probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he's absolutely lethal. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#humor #relationships #vampire #dating

I haven’t entirely adjusted to the whole yum, blood, yum aspect of being a vampire. My body wants it, but my head is still like, Ew, that is BLOOD, time to faint. ↗

— Tamara Summers

#vampire #dating

Fortunately, among werewolf women, the word "bitch" is not offensive. I was having a lot of fun with that. "Hey there, bitches!" I called as I came through the door. "What are my favorite bitches up to today? ↗

— Molly Harper

#bitches #humor #vampires #werewolf #werewolves

Just remember, girls: The young male vampire is a predator by nature. Some boys may look at you not only as a romantic interest, but as prey... ↗

— Beth Fantaskey

#dating

Mom, camping is not a date; it's an endurance test. If you can survive camping with someone, you should marry them on the way home. ↗

— Yvonne Prinz

#funny #marriage #dating

You bit me on the neck? What kind of a sorry-ass vampire wannabe are you, anyhow?” I grabbed for my dirt-covered purse that lay by my feet. I kept a can of pepper spray in it for protection, or at least I used to. Did I still have it? Did those things have an expiration date? Didn’t matter. If I had to, I’d just use it to bash him over the head. I’m not a wannabe.” He actually had the audacity to look insulted. “I am a vampire.” Psycho, I thought. Total psycho. ↗

— Michelle Rowen

#vampire #dating

Stupid Romanian bloodsucker. He was lucky I hadn't bestowed another exalted scar on his imperial body. ↗

— Beth Fantaskey

#funny #vampire #dating

Valkyrie made a face. "Bloody vampires." Ryan sat forward. "That was a vampire? That guy who looked like an accountant?" "We don't talk about vampires," Skulduggery warned. "But it was daytime. How could he have been out during the-" "We don't talk about vampires!" Valkyrie said sharply. Ryan shrunk back. "Sorry," he said. "Don't worry about it," Skulduggery told him. "Valkyrie used to date a vampire that's all." "We didn't date ," Valkyrie said immediately. Skulduggery held a hand up. "I'm not judging." Valkyrie scowled. ↗

— Derek Landy

#ryan #skulduggery-pleasant #valkyrie-cain #vampires #dating

Yes you can let a guy bite you but not on the first date! he has to pay for dinner ! But you can bite him on the first date at no cost that is quite normal ↗

— Amy Mah

#blood #humor #teenagers #vampire #vampires

No one else could know we were going on a date, though. I needed to protect Edwart in case anything happened. Still, I had never gone out with such a hot guy before, so I sent a vague e-mail to the whole grade saying, “Edwart Mullen and Belle Goose Are Totally Together. ↗

— Harvard Lampoon

#nightlight #parody #twilight #dating