#ang

Gregori leaned forward. "Can you believe it? We're all a bunch of mutants! Just like the Ninja Turtles." Angus blinked. "We - we're like... turtles?" Gregori burst out lauging. Ian shook his head, grinning. Connor snorted. "Nay. We have vampire DNA. No turtles. ↗

— Kerrelyn Sparks

#connor #gregori #ian #love-at-stake #ninja-turtle

His name is Randy Randy. Or maybe it’s Randy Randy. I always get his first and last names mixed up. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #strange #surreal #funny

Well. I think it's safe to say that, in my absence, the power grabbing and backstabbing and political intrigue has officially reached an all-time Otherworld high. ↗

— Lesley Livingston

#humor #unseelie #wondrous-strange #humor

Gintoki: Listen, I don’t care what you guys do around the universe. This is my sword, and anywhere it can reach is my country! Bastards who come in and try to mess with my things…whether it be a general, whether it be space pirates, whether it be a meteorite…I’ll destroy them! ↗

— Hideaki Sorachi

#manga #humor

she tried to stand up. It very nearly worked too … apart from the world spinning at great speed with some very pretty stars … then the ground leapt up and hit her quite hard, which was most unfair of it as she could not remember giving it any reason to … . Then the world went all fuzzy and she passed out. ↗

— Nicholas Reardon

#girls #humor #manga #reardon #humor

Americans invented adolescence. It is not a natural phenomenon. Adolescence is a social construct, created by an urban-industrial society that keeps its young at home far past puberty. Teenage angst is a luxury if a successful modern human conceit that isn't condoned by our superior species. ↗

— Sarah Beth Durst

#angst #humour #love

Kelly looked at the cop, then sighed. “What a cluster. I take it you haven’t been killing young women and leaving their half-eaten bodies in the desert?” Adam was ticked. I could tell it even if he was looking like a reasonably calm businessman. Adam’s temper was the reason he wasn’t one of Bran’s werewolf poster boys. When angered, he often gave in to impulses he wouldn’t otherwise have given in to. “Sorry to disappoint you,” Adam told Kelly in silky tones. “But I prefer rabbits. Humans taste like pork.” And then he smiled. Kelly took an involuntary step backward. Tony gave Adam a sharp look. “Let’s not make things worse, if we can help it, gentlemen. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #mercy-thompson #silver-borne #tastes-like-chicken #tony

No,” said Hermione shortly. “Have either of you seen my copy of Numerology and Gramatica?” “Oh, yeah, I borrowed it for a bit of bedtime reading,” said Ron, but very quietly. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#hermione-granger #humor #out-of-character #quips #ron-weasley

A brick could be dropped on your mother-in-law’s head from the height of 66.6 feet. You know, as a going away present. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange

Prickly When I'm feeling porcupine-y, I get nasty, I get whiny. Stay away or I might stick you. My sharp words are quills to prick you. ↗

— Laura Purdie Salas

#humor #poetry-quotes #porcupine #humor