#ang

I often fantasize about torturing some of the lazier letters of the alphabet, like C, U, and E, because together they only manage to accomplish as much as the solitary letter Q. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fantasy #funny #humor #language #letters

Ooh, you look much tastier than Crabbe and Goyle, Harry" said Hermione, before catching sight of Ron's raised eyebrows, blushing slightly and saying "oh you know what I mean - Goyle's Potion looked like bogies. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#hermione-granger #humor #polyjuice-potion #ron-weasley #taste

Almost everything strange washes up near Miami. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #miami #strange #humor

If we're going to the Silent City, you might want to get dressed. I mean, I appreciate the bra-and-panties look, but I don't know if the Silent Brothers will. There are only a few of the left, and I don't want them to die of excitement. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-fray #humor #jace-lightwood #humor

I want to do it too!" (sitting motionless) Nudge: "Nope, you stand out like a fart in a church." Max: (muttering) "Appropriately enough." Iggy: "What about me?" (stands still) Max: "No, you're visible." Iggy: "Am not!" Max: (throws a pinecone at him) "Could I do that if I wouldn't see you? ↗

— James Patterson

#gazzy #humor #iggy #invisibility #max

Xander: To read makes our speaking English good. ↗

— Ashley Gable

#grammar-humor #humor #language #humor

I think she just asked if she could touch my mango. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jace-lightwood #mortal-instruments #humor

We have just witnessed a classic example of what I like to call 'misdirected rage'. I believe the technical term is being an ass. ↗

— Natsuki Takaya

#humor #manga #natsuki-takaya #shigure #humor

Embroidery?" I sucked at embroidery. Aunt Hyacinth had tried to teach me, but we'd both given it up as a lost cause.Lucy, strangely, had picked it up really quickly and embroidered a tapestry of Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow for my last birthday. ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#solange #vampire #humor

How would you feel about sharing your bed?" she asked. Tristan blinked. "Excuse me?" "He'd love to!" Gary said. Tristan shot him a look, "Good," said Ivy, failing to notice Gary's wink. "Ella can be a pillow hog, but all you have to do is roll over her. ↗

— Elizabeth Chandler

#gary #humor #ivy #kissed-by-an-angel #tristan