#ark

When your past shows up to haunt you, make sure it comes after supper so it doesn't ruin your whole day. ↗

— Jay Wickre

#dark-humor #depression #humor #reality #humor

Technically, on the spectrum of very bad things, they did nothing truly wicked. But of course, that spectrum has no measure for the greatest of all carnal sins, the kind that occurs before skin touches skin, before wondering turns to yearning, yearning to having, having to holding for dear life, when two people cling to each other so desperately that even when they lie, inches apart, neither is fully satisfied until the light between them turns to darkness. ↗

— Galt Niederhoffer

#desperation #galt-niederhoffer #life #light #love

Yeah! Bring it on lake!" -Coach Gleeson Hedge ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #lake #mark-of-athena #humor

The right hand doesn’t know what the left is doing” is a phrase that refers to times when people ought to know, but don’t know, about something that is happening very close to them. For instance, you ought to know about the man who watches you when you sleep. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#humor

Bomb', Reyes said, not bothering to look up. 'One of ours?' Maddox insisted... 'Hardly. I know better than to blow myself up,' Reyes sighed. ↗

— Gena Showalter

#reyes #humor

I know,” he said, very softly. “Let’s go home. Let’s go home, and you can tell me whatever you want, and I’ll believe you. ↗

— Ashlyn Kane

#lovers #parker #love

I got bored," he says. "Besides, you know what's creepier than walking around your dead brothers' apartment? Sitting alone in a hearse in front of his apartment. ↗

— Holly Black

#dark #friends #humor #humor

The rest of us can find happiness in misery. ↗

— Fall Out Boy

#humor

Cole - I just thought of a new game. Jaz - What's that? Cole - Splat the Specter. Jaz - Rules? Cole - You can help me make them up. Right now all I know for sure is that it involves water guns filled with grape Kool-Aid and two ferrets named Biff and Chlamydia. Vayl - Why Ferrets? Jaz - Really? You want to know about his choice of pets when he's named one of them after an STD? ↗

— Jennifer Rardin

#humor #jaz-parks #vampire #humor

The source of all humor is not laughter, but sorrow. ↗

— Mark Twain

#mark-twain #sorrow #humor