#ark

Life's a grave dig it. ↗

— K.R. Helms

#humor

You didn’t feed from her,” he said, and this was not a question. “Swill poison? Not my kind of fun, little brother.” One corner of Stefan’s mouth quirked up. He made no response to this, but simply looked at Damon with eyes that were... knowing. Damon bridled. “I told the truth!” “Going to take it up as a hobby? ↗

— L.J. Smith

#humanity #humor #snark #humor

Well, fame is a drug and when you take it away from an addict, things can get ugly. ↗

— Melissa Jo Peltier

#reality-tv #satire #television #humor

An ordinary man can enjoy breakfasting on juice and rye bread. But when you are underfed, scorned, miserable or just plain bored, you don’t want to eat dull wholesome food. You want something a little more colourful, exciting, tastier, meatier and juicier. ↗

— R.S. Vern

#animated #cat-haee #cathaee #children-s-books #dark

how devastated I am to say that I will not be present at your petite soiree on June 10th. Unfortunately, the exceptionally weak drinks you ordinarily serve at these occasions are not sufficient to dull my senses to your boyfriend's futile efforts to grope me in the hallway. ↗

— Lady Arabella Snark

#insults #snark #humor

Nothing can unman you like an un-man. ↗

— Chuck Hogan

#strain #unman #humor

You have to figure that there is something seriously wrong with somebody who wants to enter a profession that deals with whether people are screwing enough. Dealing with spirits, spooks, and demons almost seemed normal. ↗

— Tom Upton

#humor #psychiatry #young-adult #humor

I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can't even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails. ↗

— Andrew Lawrence

#humor

How many kids are in the Graveyard?" "A bunch." "Who sends your supplies?" "George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget." "How often do you receive new arrivals?" "About as often as you beat your wife. ↗

— Neal Shusterman

#humorous #risa-ward #sarcasm #sarcastic #snark

Love is a madness. Love is Failer - Durzo Blint ↗

— Brent Weeks

#fantasy #humor