#ash

I feel like grabbing my crotch and checking to see if my balls are still there because I think they may be in her pocket and I need to get them back. ↗

— Katja Millay

#humor #josh-bennett #nastya-kashnikov #humor

you are what you wear ↗

— Treasure Stitches

#fragrance #humor #style #humor

Why are there so many people out here?' Boomer asked as we bobbed and weaved roughly forward. 'Christmas shopping.' I explained. 'Already? Isn't it early to returning things?' I really had no sense of how his mind worked. ↗

— David Levithan

#christmas-shopping #dash #humor #lol #no-sense

I know it's practical for career women, but sneakers with suits? Jesus couldn't possibly weep harder than I did. ↗

— MaryJanice Davidson

#fashion #humor #vampires #humor

One has to be proactive in warding off ugly, and that costs money. ↗

— Kristin Billerbeck

#humor

You can’t has,' he whispered softly, 'not yours. ↗

— Wil Wheaton

#fantasy #geekery #humor #humor

Jenna slipped in wearing an outfit that I can only describe as Hello Kitty Goes Goth. ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#humor #humor

Wait until you see my socratic method, baby. ↗

— Cherrie Lynn

#humor #unleashed #humor

Gorgeous,” he murmured. She chuckled. “Think you’l say that in five months or so? When I waddle like a duck and you have to tie my shoes for me?” “I’l say it then and forever. ↗

— Cherrie Lynn

#humor #unleashed #humor

In all, his outfit required nearly two thousand man-years of research and development, eight barrels of oil, and sixteen patent and trademark infringement lawsuits. All so he could possess casual style. A style that, in logistical requirements, was comparable to fielding a nineteenth-century military brigade. But he looked good. Casual. ↗

— Daniel Suarez

#humor #humor