#at

Then it suddenly and theatrically began to clean itself in the way cats do when they want you to know what a big deal you aren't. ↗

— Adam Rex

#funny #funny

Underwater, bubbles erupted before my eyes as a swift hand snatched my arm and pulled me to the surface. I gasped for air, coughing and gagging at the amount of water I sucked into my lungs by pure shock. What was up with me and breathing in water? I needed to grow some gills or something. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#fiction #funny #gills #humor #kreitzer

Sorry I'm late," Ms. Egami said to the class. She dropped her papers, which scattered in that special way papers do when one is running late. ↗

— Adam Rex

#late #papers #school #teacher #funny

Who is this repulsive dwarf? ↗

— Kim Hunter

#golgath #kim-hunter #funny

Eating be eating, b'ain't it, Birdie?' 'Nay, Uncle Bear: In Caermelor, at the Royal Court, they be so-oh, so much more advanced than anywhere else. 'Tis not done to wipe your fingers on your hair or the tablecloth, or belch, or speak with your mouth full of food, or scratch, or pick your teeth at table. Ye have to use little forks to pick up the food. Ye not allowed to pour wine for your betters or for yourself, but to wait for them to deign to pour it for ye, if they be feeling generous. And the carving of the meats must be done a certain way, and as for the toasts-it would take ye a whole day just to learn the complications. 'Takes the fun out of eating,' observed Sianadh. ↗

— Cecilia Dart-Thornton

#food #funny #food

Coordinating the retreat was important too, so important that Jiaan had assigned Aram as Fasal's assistant, to be sure he didn't overlook anything important. Like the fact that they were supposed to retreat. ↗

— Hilari Bell

#funny #retreating #funny

Serious literature does not exist to make life easy but to complicate it. ↗

— Witold Gombrowicz

#writing-craft-talent #life

The whole thing reminds me of graduate school seminars, except these people are smart and funny and have something interesting to say. ↗

— Sarah Vowell

#funny

People usually feel funny, smile and laugh when I tell them about my strong belief in the very existence of prehistoric advanced technology and great civilizations of wilier races. I just can't wait to see their faces at time the truth is revealed. ↗

— Toba Beta

#ancient #civilization #mystery #prehistoric #reveal

Hello, Martin. ↗

— William Sleator

#fat-lady #funny #martin #funny