#ate

She swept away, putting an extra kink into her walk. I would not have thought that a woman with an ass that bony could make it wiggle so much but she proved me wrong. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate-daniels #humor

I hit him on the back of the neck. He submerged. Help. I've drowned the Beast Lord. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#drowning #humor #ilona-andrews #kate #magic-strikes

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay ↗

— Marcia Carrington

#food #foodie #health #humor #food

I kind of hate Nick right now, too, but there's someone else higher on my list, someone I hate more than Saddam Hussein and any asshole named Bush combined, hate more than that fuckhead who canceled 'My So-Called Life' and left me with a too-small boxed DVD set that does not answer the questions whether Angela and Jordan Catalano did it, or if Patty and Graham got a divorce, or if there really was something to all that lesbian subtext between Rayanne and Sharon. ↗

— Rachel Cohn

#pop-culture #life

Fate has a twisted sense of humor. ↗

— Amelia Atwater-Rhodes

#humor #ironic #humor

My birthday is on a holiday, I just have to wait until I die and they commemorate me. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#commemorate #death #holiday #humor #immortalize

If I knew me as somebody else, I would hate me just as much. Why have a double standard? ↗

— David Wong

#humor #humor

The sun is simple. A sword is simple. A storm is simple. Behind everything simple is a huge tail of complicated. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#life #truth #life

A true friend finds a way to celebrate—even in the worst moments of life—and forces it upon you. ↗

— Rionna Morgan

#friends #friendship #insprational #friendship

I think there must be probably different types of suicides. I'm not one of the self-hating ones. The type of like "I'm shit and the world'd be better off without poor me" type that says that but also imagines what everybody'll say at their funeral. I've met types like that on wards. Poor-me-I-hate-me-punish-me-come-to-my-funeral. Then they show you a 20 X 25 glossy of their dead cat. It's all self-pity bullshit. It's bullshit. I didn't have any special grudges. I didn't fail an exam or get dumped by anybody. All these types. Hurt themselves. I didn't want to especially hurt myself. Or like punish. I don't hate myself. I just wanted out. I didn't want to play anymore is all. I wanted to just stop being conscious. I'm a whole different type. I wanted to stop feeling this way. If I could have just put myself in a really long coma I would have done that. Or given myself shock I would have done that. Instead. ↗

— David Foster Wallace

#hate #self #self-harm #suicide #imagination