#aw

You know on TV when there’s one of those awkward, shocking moments and all you hear are the crickets in the background? Well chirp fucking chirp...this is one of those moments. ↗

— Emma Chase

#funny-smut #humor #romance #funny

Did those nice church ladies come by again?" He nodded. "I asked them if a man died and then the woman remarried, and then the three of them met in heaven, would it be a sin for them to have a threesome, since they were all married in God's eye. And they decided they were late to be somewhere else. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#ascanio #awesome #church #funny #hilarious

Lovers are like lawyers: each manipulates the evidence as much as possible to outwit their opponent in the eyes of all. When the woman or defense attorney gets the upper hand, the result is dismissal. ↗

— Bauvard

#lawyers #love #funny

Who's stupid now, Jimbo?! ↗

— April Henry

#character-quote #funny-as-hell #gun-point #humor #funny

...never touching, never talking, just smiling and keeping our eyes locked. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#funny

The law and a thin veil of insincerity, all that prevents me from strangling an etiquette coach. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #law #manners #politeness

Originality depends only on the character of the drawing and the vision peculiar to each artist. ↗

— Georges Seurat

#character #depends #drawing #each #only

But there is a higher law than the Constitution, which regulates our authority over the domain, and devotes it to the same noble purposes. ↗

— William H. Seward

#constitution #devotes #domain #higher #law

There is a higher law than the Constitution. ↗

— William H. Seward

#higher #law #than

Certainly. Of course. That’s part of it. And always coming to school or when we’re going home, you’re to walk with me, when there ain’t anybody looking – and you choose me and I choose you at parties, because that’s the way you do when you’re engaged. ↗

— Mark Twain

#home