#aw

It's the perfect solution. We argue all the time. We can't stand each other. It's like we're already married." -Leo Hathaway to Cat- ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#hathaways #humor #leo #marriage #humor

I was just kidding, shuck-face," Minho said. "Let's all go over there. She could have an army of psycho girl ninjas hiding in that shack of hers." "Psycho girl ninjas?" Newt repeated, his voice showing he was surprised, if not annoyed, by Minho's additude. ↗

— James Dashner

#epic #humor #ninjas #humor

To deny the existence of a God and more specifically the Creator God of Christianity is not based upon a philosophical issue, but rather a moral one. ↗

— R. Alan Woods

#philosophical-inquiry #r-alan-woods #r-alan-woods

Objective Reality and Truth requires neither ones consent nor dissent. ↗

— R. Alan Woods

#objective-law #reality #truth #r-alan-woods

After a universal silence, Leo was the first to speak. “Did anyone else notice—” “Yes,” Catherine said. “What do you make of it?” “I haven’t decided yet.” Leo frowned and took a sip of port. “He’s not someone I would pair Bea with.” “Whom would you pair her with?” “Hanged if I know,” Leo said. “Someone with similar interests. The local veterinarian, perhaps?” “He’s eighty-three years old and deaf,” Catherine said. “They would never argue,” Leo pointed out. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor #marriage #humor

Beatrix puts a distance between herself and the rest of the world. She’s very engaging, but also quite private in nature. I see the same qualities in Captain Phelan.” “Yes,” Amelia said. “You’re absolutely right, Catherine. Put that way, the match does seem more appropriate.” “I still have reservations,” Leo said. “You always do,” Amelia replied. “If you’ll recall, you objected to Cam in the beginning, but now you’ve accepted him.” “That’s because the more brothers-in-law I acquire,” Leo said, “the better Cam looks by comparison. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor #humor

Katniss, there is no District Twelve... ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#katniss-everdeen #katniss

Lawyers were notorious for finding cases in the most unlikely places, especially ones with huge potential damagers awards. ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#lawyers #funny

Mr. Pot drank ten pots of coffee, even though I only made eight. That’s a savings of 20%!  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #coffee #funny #humor #random

I managed to beat Michael Phelps’ 400 meter IM time. And not only did I beat his time, but I did it in exactly 200 meters.  ↗