#awkward

I had a fucking standing ovation going on in my goddamn pants, and it was demanding an encore. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#funny #humor #sex #funny

I think when somebody's painting they don't necessarily... I'm not illustrating what I know. I'm mapping out, like topographically, some terrain I am satisfied with, how awkward that mark is. ↗

— Julian Schnabel

#awkward #how #i #i am #i think

I always have awkward relationships with the ladies for whatever reason. I don't know and so here we are. I was able to sort of take all of those terrible, terrible, terrible dates and turn them into a money making venture. ↗

— Jason Segel

#always #awkward #dates #here #i

Drop something?" he asked, trying to suppress a smile but failing miserably at the act. I nodded and smiled back at him sheepishly, unable to find my voice to respond in any other way. "Interested in locks, I see," he commented. I nodded again. "Well, here you go," he said, and he handed the book to me. I nodded. Oh crap, why did I just nod? Take the book! I screamed inside my head. Take it! I took it slowly. He kept looking at me, smiling. ↗

— Markelle Grabo

#humor #love #nerves #humor

I felt this awful obligation to be charming or at least have something to say, and the pressure of having to be charming (or merely verbal) incapacitates me. ↗

— Peter Cameron

#loner #social-awkwardness #humor

My only companion from the outside world during nineteen years of isolation has been my personal hatred of Thursday Next. It's kind of like the old me suddenly taking over, and I promised myself that this was how I would act if I ever saw you.' 'I have the same thing, but with Tom Stoppard,' I said. 'You'd kill Tom Stoppard?' 'Not at all. I promised myself many years ago that I would throw myself at his feet and scream "I'm not worthy!" if I ever met him, so now if we're ever at the same party or something, I have to be at pains to avoid him. It would be undignified, you see—for him and for me. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#fandom #hatred #humor #humor

I'm a lion in a strange land. ↗

— Criss Jami

#awkwardness #beast #courage #different #earth

And that day, I probably walked right by them out of class, not really knowing either of them or having any idea who they'd end up being to me, but I can imagine it so accurately because I was then (and I guess I am still) in my own world of misreading people, reaching out to them in an awkward, overplanned way that blows up big-time, then retreating back in to my just-me existence, while they go around telling anyone who will listen what a tard I am. ↗

— D.C. Pierson

#introverted #loner #social-ineptitude #imagination

A new constitution should be more amendable. A needlessly confusing system of courts should be altered to produce an arrangement that would be simple, responsible, and less awkward. ↗

— Charles Edison

#arrangement #awkward #confusing #constitution #courts

So many times you see beautiful lovemaking scenes with a lot of exposure or an awkward lovemaking scene, but I think it's very rare that you see it private. ↗

— Ang Lee

#beautiful #exposure #i #i think #lot