#bacon

You have to tell him ‘go toodles, Bits, go toodles for momma,’” I said, pitching my voice high in imitation, “or else he won’t go.” Blane looked at me. “I’m not doing that,” he said flatly. “But then he’ll go on the bed,” I protested. “How about I just point my gun at him,” he deadpanned. ↗

— Tiffany A. Snow

#blane #humor #kathleen-turner #humor

The wolf sniffed beneath the door to be sure this was a human cottage. The scent was undeniable. No pigs, except in bacon form. The wolf thought bacon form was a very sensible way for pigs to behave. ↗

— Vivian Vande Velde

#humor #pigs #wolves #humor

Danzhol. The one with the marriage proposal and the objections to the town charter in central Monsea. "Bacon," Bitterblue muttered. "Bacon!" she repeated, then carefully made her way up the spiral stairs. ↗

— Kristin Cashore

#bitterblue #humor #humor

The question that women casually shopping for perfume ask more than any other is this: "What scent drives men wild?" After years of intense research, we know the definitive answer. It is bacon. Now, on to the far more interesting subject of perfume. ↗

— Tania Sanchez

#perfume #men

There is a kind of gaping admiration that would fain roll Shakespeare and Bacon into one, to have a bigger thing to gape at; and a class of men who cannot edit one author without disparaging all others. ↗

— Robert Louis Stevenson

#conflation #editing #exaggeration #francis-bacon #shakespeare

I was rubbing the pieces of bacon like they were strands of a lover’s hair. Of course they weren’t, because all my exes had hair like scrambled eggs. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bacon #funny #humor #love #surreal

Breakfast is my favorite meal. I cook a big one for everyone - bacon and eggs. I own a lot of eggcups. ↗

— Emily Mortimer

#big #breakfast #cook #eggs #everyone

I think that was very important to Bacon... personally. I think he went to great efforts to get a house for the Stratford man, to make it so difficult for us to prove that it was Francis Bacon, because it is very difficult to prove. ↗

— Mark Rylance

#because #difficult #efforts #francis #francis bacon

There is no beauty without some strangeness ↗

— Edgar Allan Poe

#misattributed-to-poe #misquote #beauty

This work is the link between my Dear Natalie piece and my upcoming Agatha work. It bridges that lapse in time and shows how my thinking has changed. It shows me telling a story through the surreal and trying to use thought fragments alone to show a tortured existence. This piece was written after the Dear Natalies and before the Agatha mystery, but it is meant to be read after you’ve already read both. This book is a bridge between two books, which would make it a bridge between two bridges. That’s strange, but I’ve seen stranger. Like the time I woke up in a fish tank, having morphed into a goldfish during my sleep. I still fear the sound of a flushing toilet, and since then I refuse to let myself fall asleep while wearing flippers. This book is 3,088 words of pure nonsense, strung together like pearls hurled at bacon. Yum! ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bacon #biograhy #book-bio #books #bridge