#bathroom

The problem with Marxism is the proletariat isn’t going to rise up against capitalism and consumerism. The only time they’ll rise up is during a commercial break to either go to the bathroom or grab more beer.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#beer #capitalism #commercials #communism #consumerism

People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it's simply a measurement. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#creed #free #free market #market #measurement

Bathroom humor, fart, and poo poo humor in movies gets a laugh. It's a pretty easy audience, and that's been around for ages. ↗

— Selma Blair

#around #audience #bathroom #been #easy

Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance. ↗

— King George V

#bathroom #chance #go #you

The first door in the hall leads to youth, the second door leads to middle age, and the third door leads to the bathroom. But knock first, because I think grandpa’s in there. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bathroom #door #family #grandpa #hall

Lady and gentleman, when my parents left Korea with nothing but the clothes on their backs and the considerable wealth they had amassed in the shipping business, they had a dream. They had a dream that one day amid the snowy hilltops of western North Carolina, their son would lose his virginity to a cheerleader in the woman's bathroom of a Waffle House just off the interstate. My parents have sacrificed so much for this dream! And that is why we must journey on, despite all trials and tribulations! Not for me and least of all for the poor cheerleader in question, but for my parents and indeed for all immigrants who came to his great nation in what they themselves could never have: CHEERLEADER SEX. ↗

— John Green

#cheerleaders #immigration #sex #virginity #business

Los Angeles Home Remodeling Contractors – MDM General Contractors offer home remodeling and renovations Remodeling Contractors services in Los Angeles. ↗

— bathroom remodelers

#bathroom-remodelers #bathroom-remodeling #bathroom-remodeling-contractors #bathroom-remodeling-cost #home

When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#bathroom #call #child #dog #doing

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. ↗

— Arthur C. Clarke

#adjust #bathroom #best #his #honesty

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station. ↗

— Bill Cosby

#certain #child #comes #company #father