#bathroom

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. ↗

— Richard M. Nixon

#castro #even #go #nickel #put

People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it's simply a measurement. ↗

— P. J. O'Rourke

#creed #free #free market #market #measurement

I'm like, bursting. I should be working. I don't want to take a break. It's funny, on set, I don't have to go to the bathroom, I don't have anything wrong, I'm perfectly fine, so through-and-through. I'm not hungry. I'm literally not even in my own body. ↗

— Kristen Stewart

#bathroom #body #break #bursting #even

Bathroom humor, fart, and poo poo humor in movies gets a laugh. It's a pretty easy audience, and that's been around for ages. ↗

— Selma Blair

#around #audience #bathroom #been #easy

The first door in the hall leads to youth, the second door leads to middle age, and the third door leads to the bathroom. But knock first, because I think grandpa’s in there. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bathroom #door #family #grandpa #hall

When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#bathroom #call #child #dog #doing

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station. ↗

— Bill Cosby

#certain #child #comes #company #father

I was depressed as a child. I found it hard to make friends. My favourite thing was locking myself in the bathroom and practising comedy routines. ↗

— David Walliams

#child #comedy #depressed #favourite #favourite thing

The main part of the house is a deep red and I have butterscotch carpet. And I have a bathroom with leopard skin floor, wallpaper and toilet. ↗

— Macy Gray

#carpet #deep #floor #house #i

Will you sleep with me?" he asked softly, before grinning suddenly. "In the tub? ↗

— Shelly Crane

#clara #eli #humor #tub #humor