#be

I remember at the premiere of my second movie I started crying. I thought, I'm so bad that I either have to stop this and do something else or learn what I'm doing. ↗

— Josh Brolin

#crying #doing #either #else #i

Be able to go shopping for a bathing suit and not become depressed afterward. ↗

— Marilyn vos Savant

#bathing #bathing suit #become #depressed #go

It's probably a bit of a power trip when you befriend somebody enough that they trust you to tell you things. ↗

— Josh Brolin

#bit #enough #power #probably #somebody

I'm a librarian in town,' she began. 'You sure about that?' The words popped out before he could stop them. Annabelle raised her eyebrows. 'Fairly. It's my job and so far no one has told me to go away when I show up for work.' smooth, Stryker, he thought, very smooth. 'I was expecting someone wearing glasses. You know. Because librarians read a lot.' The raised eyebrows turned into a frown. 'You need to get out of the barn more. ↗

— Susan Mallery

#awkward-encounters #foot-in-mouth #funny #librarians #shane

Most animals show themselves sparingly. The grizzly bear is six to eight hundred pounds of smugness. It has no need to hide. If it were a person, it would laugh loudly in quiet restaurants, boastfully wear the wrong clothes for special occasions, and probably play hockey. ↗

— Craig Childs

#bear #funny #grizzly-bear #funny

She ought to call him Benjamin, but it was too intimate, too soft. "My lord?" she ventured, only half serious. "Good, God, no." She bit back a smile. "Husband?" she took a sip of wine. He grunted. "Are we to become Quakers? ↗

— Kristen Callihan

#benjamin #firelight #funny #miranda #names

Are you scared of going in to see the raghnaid [the council]?” asked a gray female pup. “Are you cag mag [crazy]? If a bear was his Milk Giver, you think he’s scared of the raghnaid? ↗

— Kathryn Lasky

#funny #motherhood #wolves #funny

biology The film turns out to be about bees. It is a film about a bee center. How crap is this going to be? an hour later That was the best thing I have seen for ages. We made Miss Wilson rewind the bit where the two queens were having a bitch fight. ↗

— Louise Rennison

#georgia-nicolson #humor #age

Americans have an abiding belief in their ability to control reality by purely material means... airline insurance replaces the fear of death with the comforting prospect of cash. ↗

— Cecil Beaton

#airline #belief #cash #comforting #control

Now there's a girl I don't want to mess with' — or at least, that's what I would think if I had a chronic fear of freakishly nice people. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#funny-and-random #humor #niceness #funny